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A/n: This is a reminder that this story is AU. I haven't decided how long this story is going to be. It was supposed to be a one shot, but you should all be use to me changing my mind about one shots by now.
I don't own Bones.
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In her office, Brennan sat behind her desk and stared at the far wall, lost in thought about her new partnership. She'd never really met anyone like Booth before. He was different from most men that she had had to deal with in her life. He didn't seem to mind that she was so much smarter than he was. In fact he had called her his standard. That was new.
Most men she had hooked up with in the past fit into two categories, associates that she worked with or men who fascinated her and just helped her satisfy her biological urges. She didn't consider herself promiscuous. She didn't sleep with every man that wanted her. In fact she was very selective. She always had to be the one to initiate contact with the person she was interested in. She had to feel some kind of connection before that happened and yet she had never connected with anyone like Booth before.
He was attractive and when he wanted to be he was very charming. He was also someone who felt things deeply. He was impatient and snarky. Booth was also quickly becoming a friend and that was new too. Up until she had met him she had only had one friend and that was Angela. Now she had two friends. She had never had two friends at the same time in her adult life. Acquaintances yes, friends no.
"Well well, daydreaming?" Angela breezed into Brennan's office and smiled at the guilty look on Brennan's face. "It's okay to daydream Honey. We all do it. So who were you thinking about?"
Reluctantly, Brennan turned her gaze towards Angela. "Booth. He's not . . . he's different from most men I've had to deal with."
Angela grabbed the chair in front of Brennan's desk, moved it closer to the desk and sat down. "Now that is definitely someone I'd like to get to know better. He's so cute and so . . . so hot."
Used to her friend's declarations, Brennan wasn't sure if she should take her seriously. "Are you interested in Booth sexually?" Unaware of it, she held her breath waiting for the answer.
Not sure if Brennan was considering Booth as a possible sexual partner, Angela shrugged her shoulders. "Well who wouldn't be? He's a fine looking man and let's face it he's very charming when he wants to be." The artist noticed a strange look on her friend's face and she realized that she might be poaching in her friend's territory. "Of course, I'm dating John right now, so I'll just leave Booth for you."
"Me?" Brennan shook her head. "I'm Booth's partner. If I wish to continue to work with him we can't be involved sexually. It would break some rule at the FBI."
Angela waved her hand dismissively. "So who says you'd have to tell them? If he was my partner and I was interested in him sexually, I'd jump his bones as soon as possible as often as possible."
"I don't know what that means." Sometimes it was very irritating when people used phrases that didn't actually make sense. Who jumps over bones and why?
Used to Brennan's cluelessness, Angela smiled and crossed her legs. "I mean that I'd have sex with him if he offered. I wouldn't care about rules."
"Booth believes in rules." Brennan hadn't known Booth very long, but she already knew that he obeyed orders from his bosses and he followed the rules. "Booth is a soldier as well as a law enforcement officer and he obeys orders. If they say we can't be sexually active together then he won't consider it . . . Also, I'm not sure having sex with Booth would be a good idea."
Surprised, Angela shook her head. "For God's sake, why? He looks pretty athletic to me. I'm sure he could keep up."
Amused, Brennan laughed. "I've no doubt he would be very good in bed. That's not the point I'm trying to make . . . He feels things deeply. He's emotional. If we were to have a physical relationship he would want more of me than I'm willing to give or can give. I'm not brave like that."
Confused, Angela shook her head. "Now you're confusing me, Honey. Of course you're brave. You're probably the bravest person I know."
Slowly, Brennan shook her head. "No Angela. I mean that he would expect me to give a part of me to him if we were in a relationship and I can't do that. Everyone I know leaves me eventually and I won't set myself up to be hurt when Booth finally leaves me. You know about my parents, my brother. If your family thinks nothing of walking away from you then what hope is there that someone like Booth wouldn't leave me eventually? I'm not affectionate. I don't really believe in love and I certainly don't believe in marriage. Giving a piece of myself to someone, committing myself to someone only to have them leave me when they get tired of me . . . it isn't worth it. Not to me."
Sad that Brennan thought so little of herself, Angela sighed. "Honey, you are not unemotional. You just do a good job of keeping things bottled up inside. You feel things. I know you do. You feel things deeply. If you didn't then you wouldn't care that your parents abandoned you when you were fifteen. You wouldn't hate Russ so much for dumping you in Foster Care. You've just built a wall around your heart to protect yourself and you've deluded yourself into thinking that you don't feel things emotionally. Sweetie, you are a very compassionate person. You spend hours, days studying old bones trying to identify them so that they can be given back to their family. My God that is so compassionate that I just want to hug you when I think about it."
Brennan didn't really believe her friend. "It's my job, Angela. It's what I do for a living."
Annoyed, Angela shook her head, "No Honey. You do that job because you want to give victims a voice. You're so damn good at what you do because to be the best allows you to do your job well. You are a strong and caring woman."
"I'm not who you seem to think I am, Angela." Brennan thought her friend was mischaracterizing her. "You aren't listening. I cannot return love because I don't believe in love."
"You can keep saying that all you want, but I don't believe it." Angela had lost her patience. "You believe in love. You're just deluding yourself."
Brennan shook her head. "Love is just chemicals and hormones."
Angela threw her hands up in the air and stood up. "Fine have it your way. Just don't throw Booth away by mistake. You're assuming that he would eventually leave you if you two got together, but I think you're wrong. Just because your parents abandoned you doesn't mean Booth would. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water."
"I don't know what that means." Brennan was glad that her friend was done with the conversation. She was making her very uncomfortable.
"Yes you do." Angela was done for the day. She'd talk to her friend again. It was a slow process, but she knew that. "I have to go work on some new software I'm developing. We'll talk again."
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The next case was interesting and Brennan felt that she worked well with Booth. When he'd had to kill a man to keep him from setting off a bomb in a room full of diplomats, Brennan had comforted Booth the best way she could. She felt awkward and it made her sad that she didn't know how to help him through something that clearly upset him. She had reminded him that he had saved many people and it seemed to help him, but not as much as she wanted it to.
Their next case was about a boy found hanging in a tree. Booth had pressed her to call it a murder since his gut had somehow conveyed to him that the boy had not committed suicide. Leary of Booth's hunches, she had worked the case and in the end, her partner had been proved to be right. Brennan was sure that Booth picked up subtle clues that no one else saw and that he called it gut instinct. Brennan started to wonder just how smart her partner really was.
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While they were in Washington State investigating the death of a man who'd been eaten by a bear, Brennan started to wonder if it was possible to get around the no fraternization rule with Booth. He was probably the most interesting man she'd ever known and their friendship seemed to be getting stronger. She'd started to fantasize at night about him and she was curious. She was still leary about emotional attachments, but if she was careful not to become too attached to her partner, she thought a sexual relationship wasn't out of the question.
While Booth drove the rented SUV towards their destination, Brennan turned slightly to look at her partner. "Are you still dating Tessa?"
Surprised with the question, Booth nodded his head. "Yeah. It's going pretty well, I think. She's a lawyer and she's a damn good one."
Brennan nodded her head. If her partner was dating someone then she would not pursue him. If his relationship proved to be short term then perhaps she could do something to interest him in breaking the no fraternization rule afterward.
Curious, Booth glanced at Brennan and then back at the road. "So you seeing anyone?"
With a slight downturn of her lips, Brennan shook her head. "I haven't been with anyone sexually since I broke up with Peter."
Assuming she was upset with the breakup and she was letting her heart heal from her broken relationship, Booth nodded his head. "Yeah, I understand. It usually takes me a while to get back out there when someone dumps me."
Surprised that Booth phrased it like that, Brennan shook her head. "When someone dumps you?"
Embarrassed that he'd spoke the truth so plainly to Brennan, Booth tried to walk it back. "Um, well . . . or when I dump someone. You know someone always dumps someone." Worried that his partner might think he was defective because of the many times he'd been dumped by the fairer sex, Booth tried to fix what he'd said. "Someone always gets hurt. The key is to get back out there as soon as you can. It's not a good idea to dwell on bad relationships."
"Oh I'm not dwelling on my break up with Peter and he didn't dump me." Brennan turned to look at the view from the windshield. "I broke up with him. The truth is, I just haven't found anyone interesting enough to date yet."
Not sure why, Booth felt glad that she hadn't found anyone yet. His partner deserved someone a whole lot better than her last boyfriend. That freak didn't even know how to tie his own shoe laces. That was just too much for Booth. "Yeah, you'll find someone."
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