"Last year, I moved in with my family after being in the system since I was seven, so there's Jude, who's my age, Mariana and Jesus who are twins, the grade above me, and then Callie, Jude's biological sister, and Brandon who's my mom's biological son, they're both in college now," I debate whether or not to talk about Freddie.
"Wow, big family, that must be nice," Daisy says.
"Yeah," I smile to myself, "It is, I love them, sometimes I forget that any of us are adopted, it feels like we all grew up together, and my moms, Stef and Lena, they feel like my birth parents,"
"That's so cool," Katie says, "I personally hate my sister, she's always stealing my stuff," We look at her, "Okay, well I don't hate her, I love her, she's my sister, but you know what siblings are like,"
"I'm an only child," Daisy says, "I have a nanny, she's nice, I guess,"
"What about your parents?" I ask.
"It's just my dad, he's not around a lot, work," She's getting kind of sad.
"Even though you have cancer?" Katie says.
"Yep, when we got the diagnosis, he was on a business trip in Australia, he didn't even fly back, he sent me a care package though," She tries to justify it.
"At least you have us now, people who get it, we're going through it with you," Katie says, "I might not have been through what you guys have, with families and stuff, but I get what it's like to feel alone, and scared, we'll all get through this," She smiles, "Now, can we have some snacks, please?"
"It was actually really nice, we talked about school and our families and stuff, and cancer obviously, Daisy talked all about her boyfriend and school, she's like super smart, like smarter than Mariana, and Katie talked about all this activism and stuff she does, it's so cool,"
"That's great love, I'm so happy you're making friends," Mom says as we drive home, "Did you talk about Taylor at all," She asks, I had almost forgotten.
"Yeah, a little, but I didn't feel like droning on about it, I wanted to get to know them, they're really nice girls, I think you and mama would like them,"
"Good, I'm glad," She smiles, but something seems off. She's probably just stressed about the chemo making me sick again, it's going to be harder this time, my immune system is a lot weaker, and the nose bleeds are happening more often, we're getting better at dealing with them though.
"Hey, where's Callie?" I walk into my room to find Mariana studying.
"She's job hunting, how was chemo?" She makes some room on her bed for me to sit down.
"It was pretty good, it hasn't hit me yet, which is nice, but the girls are awesome, we connected so quickly," I've never really had actual friends before apart from Sophia, and I guess Jason, but do exes even count as friends?
"Aw, look who's finally got friends," She mocks me, "No, I'm really happy for you,"
"Thanks, Mariana," I go over to my bed and climb in, even though the chemo isn't making me feel sick yet, I'm exhausted, I need sleep. But I can't, I barely slept last night either, I just keep thinking about Taylor, did I make a mistake? Should I have told her to stay? I just feel like if I made her stay, we'd break up anyway, but it still hurts. Not being able to call her, hear her voice, have her tell me that everything's gonna be okay.
My starts buzzing, Katie's calling me.
"Hey," I answer.
"Hey, chemo hitting you yet?" She asks me.
"Nah, it's only the first round of this cycle, probably won't hit me until tomorrow, what about you?"
"A little," She goes quiet for a sec, "Uh, listen I wanted to ask you something," I go into the bathroom to get a little privacy from Mariana.
"Sure, go ahead," I say.
"So, I know you just got out of a relationship, but I was wondering if maybe," No way, "You wanted to go on a date?" She asks. "With me," I don't know what to say, "I mean it doesn't have to be anything crazy, just hanging out, maybe grab some food somewhere, I know this great little café downtown," Is this actually happening? "Or not, I get it,"
"Um," I say, "I don't know," I didn't even consider this happening, I didn't know she liked girls, the second I first saw her I thought she was gorgeous, but I'm not looking for something right now, I just wanted friends, "Can I think about it? And get back to you?" I catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, my face is bright red.
"Yeah, uh yeah, of course, no pressure, or anything,"
"Okay, thanks," I pose it as a question, I'm just shocked, I don't know how to react,"
"Okay, call me, tomorrow, or whenever, bye," She hangs up, but I just stand there, with the phone still to my ear, staring at myself in the mirror.
"What?" I say to myself, putting the phone down on the counter. Katie wants to go out with me, if I say yes, it could be nice, but am I ready for it? If I say no, it could make things awkward between us at chemo, not to mention Daisy, would she feel like a third wheel if we became a couple? Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself, "Mariana," I come out of the bathroom, "I need your help,"
"Are you okay? Do you feel sick? Should I get moms?" She rushes over to me.
"Katie," I say still in shock, "Asked me out," I walk slowly over to my bed and sit down.
"Katie? Your friend from the group?" Mariana asks, "Like on a date?" She's just as shocked as I am, I nod, "Well, what did you say?" She gets excited, this is the stuff she likes to hear about, she probably hated hearing about my heartbreak over Taylor. Oh my God, Taylor. This would hurt her if she ever found out.
"I asked if I could think about it,"
"What did she say?"
"She said okay," I can't believe this, "I don't understand, I thought we were just friends, I mean we've only met twice, she didn't flirt with me or anything, I never even considered this being a remote possibility,"
"Well, say no," I look at her, "Just say you'd rather just keep being friends, and it'll be awkward at first, but she'll get over it," I don't say anything, "Unless, you want to go out with her?" She gets excited again.
"I don't know," I lay back in my bed, "I mean she's pretty, like super pretty, and she's so cool, I can't even believe she wanted to be friends with me, let alone date me, I'm so out of her league, why would she even like me?"
"Because you are super pretty, and cool and you're kind, smart, funny," She hypes me up, "If you want to see where it goes, then what's the harm?"
"What if I'm not ready? What if I dive into this and get my heart broken? Or I break her heart? What if it's a mistake?" I ask my sister.
"Sometimes you have to take the risk, do you know how many risks Mat and I took to be together, Emma and Jesus, Jude and Noah, even moms, the good stuff in life doesn't come from playing it safe,"
"When did you get so good at giving advice?" I sit up and hug her.
"Hey, I've always been great at giving advice," I laugh at her, "So, are you going to call her back?" She asks. It's decision time.