The ships became blasted with Pulpatine's lightning, now set to full-blast.

"YYYYESSS!!" He exclaimed. "NOW ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE ME!!"

Rey, despite being heavily weakened, looked to her side to notice that her knife saber was still there. Rey was flung to the ground before she could reach it, becoming very, very lightheaded. All she could hear, were the malicious laughs of Pulpatine.

"I...can't do it..." she breathed. "I just can't..."

Rey fell to the ground once again. Tears began to streak down her face, then, she could have sworn that she saw some blue light in the distance...

"Up wake, Rey..." a voice said.

"Yes, you haven't much time..." another voice said.

Rey awoke from her trance, and gasped.

"YOGA!" She exclaimed. "OBI WAN! NE'ZZAKIN SKYWALKER!! WHAAAAAAAT TH—?!"

"Yes, us it is!" Yoga replied. "Up, you must get!"

"Rey, do it for us.." Mace Windex said. "For everyone, because frankly, I am TIRED, of these GOSH-DANG SITH, always trying to take over the GOSH-DANG GALAXY!!"

Rey was finally able to stand up, but before she could actually get to defeat Pulpatine, another ghost appeared before her.

"Hey..." said the ghost of Cuke, who looked surprisingly younger than when she last saw him.

"CUKE!" Rey smiled, massive tears streaming down her face. "You...look different."

"One of the advantages of bein' a ghost." Cuke smiled. "watch this—"

Cuke grunted, then with a pop, he turned into his older, more overweight self.

"Now I'm fat again!" He smiled.

He transformed back to being younger.

"—skinny!"

He turned into being older again.

"—fat!"

"Okay, I think I get the idea." Rey replied.

"You can do it, Rey!" Cuke smiled.

Rey and Pulpatine fought again, this time even harder. Gallons and gallons of sweat poured down her face, and she was more focused than ever.

Suddenly, Finn looked back down at the ring box.

He swallowed his saliva, and then spoke.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII——"

"What the—" Rey said.

"He is SO going down when he finishes holding that note." Pulpatine grumbled.

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!" Finn replied out of breath. "Can I at least say something?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH.." Pulpatine growled. "OKAY, BUT MAKE IT SNAPPY!"

Pulpatine shuffled off to the side, tapping his foot and angrily pawing at Cukeʼs ghost. Finn got down on his knees.

("Will U B There" instrumental)

"Rey, I always believed in you from the moment I first laid eyes on you, that you were meant for something more than that boring Jakku life. I had not been programmed to feel anything romantic because of the

Stormtrooper training I had in my

youth, but you helped me get over that immediately! I can feel now! You are more powerful, more beautiful, more intelligent than you think you are, Rey. You probably canʼt see it, but I do..."

"O-KAY!" Pulpatine butted in. "I, do NOT like where this is headed! So, kill time now, confession later..."

"...And one more thing, Gramps..." Finn chuckled, then hugged Rey. "Rey told me you like negative emotion.."

"Yeah?" said Pulpatine. "So?"

"Little man, prepare yourself..."

Finn turned to Rey as a light shone on his face.

"...for a proposal."

"What." Pulpatine said. "You like, gonna give her a business proposition?"

Finn shuffled over to Rey, lifting out the remnants of the ring box. He opened it, revealing the beautiful ring that was still in tact, surprisingly, given the trials and

tribulations he went through in the entire movie.

——

...

——

...:

(Cue slow piano and organ)

"Rey...whatever your last name is...these last three years, have been quite literally the greatest of my entire life...Iʼve never done this before...but...will you do me the honor of...will you...m-marry me?"

Rey audibly gasped as Finn held the kyber crystal ring towards her. She started to tear up, then hugged and kissed Finn so hard.

"Mmmmmmmh.."

"Oh...yes..."

"Ohhhhhhh..."

"Oh I love you...mmh.."

"Mmhnhh...I love you...mmnghhh.."

"UGH!" Pulpatine spat at the ground, become so enamored with what was happening. "AW EWWW EW EW EWWWW!!

EEEEEEEEYYYEEEE WW!!! I! CANʼT! LOOK! AWAY!"

"Neith! Er! Can! I!" Cuke replied, mocking Pulpatine.

"...shut up, fatty." Pulpatine grumbled.

Meanwhile, Rey and Finn broke their kiss. Rey has only one thing on her mind she needed to answer Finn with.

———

———-

———-

"...y-y-y-yes."

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Cuke cheered. He gave a loud whistle and opened a bottle of champagne, letting the foam spill on Pulpatine's head.

"One more thing, Gramps..." Rey smiled.

As soon as Pulpatine fired a lightning bolt at Rey, she expertly blocked it with her lightsaber.

"—Ever hear of the tragedy of Emperor Pulpatine, the Sith?" She asked, with quite possibly the largest smile upon her carrot face.

Pulpatine's eyes widened quicker than a Taun Taun fainting in the dead of Hoth's winter.

"...it's a good one." She whispered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" He exclaimed.

Lightning shrouded everything.

Pulpatine's cult members instantly fled the scene, but Finn stayed, his arms lovingly wrapped around Rey.

Pulpatine continued to scream, as his own dang FACE melted off from his body, leaving nothing but bones.

A citrus scent wafted through the air.