(The Superhero in the Alley / The Woman in the Garden / The Man on the Fairway)
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The next few cases were interesting and Brennan really enjoyed working on them with Booth. One of their cases had involved the murder of a young man, a boy really and Booth had been somber for days after they attended his funeral. Her partner always seemed to sink into a slight depression when they dealt with the murder of children, but thankfully he bounced back within a few days.
She wasn't happy when the victim was a child either, but she was good at compartmentalizing and that helped. She had learned long ago that life wasn't fair and children were not immune to the dangers of the world. As a child raised in Foster Care from age 15 she was familiar with just how uncaring people could be, how cruel some were when a helpless child was involved. When she had to deal with the deaths of children, she carefully stepped back and let her skills take over. Emotion could only cloud her judgement and she wanted to do her best to give a voice to the dead child.
It worried her sometimes that people perceived that she was cold and detached, but she was paid to do a job and she couldn't let that bother her. The victims needed her and she would not fail them.
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He'd never been so angry in his life. He and Brennan had been standing on the side of the road amidst a group of police officers interrogating a gang banger when shots were fired in a drive-by. His heart beating wildly, he and his partner had thrown themselves to the ground avoiding being hit by any bullets and then he'd ended up in a foot chase after their suspected murderer ran away. The man had got away and that was just angered him more.
Driving back to the Jeffersonian Booth had remained silent while he fumed over Brennan being put in danger. When I get my hands of those mother fuckers they're going to wish they hadn't been born. She could have been killed for God's sake. Right there right then . . . killed. Damnit.
Brennan thought it was unusual that Booth wasn't talking, but she thought he was upset that their suspect had outraced him and got away. "He'll be caught Booth. This is just a temporary setback."
His reverie broken, Booth glanced at Brennan. "Uh, yeah sure."
Watching the side of the road at they drove by, Brennan shook her head. "It seems odd to be shot at, at a crime scene. Surrounded by police officers, a drive-by shooting is the last thing I would have expected."
"I'm sorry Bones." Booth was mortified that Brennan had been endangered at a secure crime scene. "That shouldn't have happened."
Brennan wasn't really concerned about it. She knew that police protection only went so far. They were human after all. Turning to face her partner, Brennan saw that his hands were gripping the steering wheel very tightly. "It's not the first time I've been threatened Booth. I've worked for governments that promised me that I would be safe while I identified victims of pogroms and whole sale slaughter on both sides of a war and that promise wasn't kept. I've been intimidated by rebels and government officials. I've been thrown in jail and threatened with rape or death. It's part of my job. What happened earlier is nothing new. When you make dangerous men angry they react. Whether or not they are part of the government or against the government, things like that drive-by shooting happen."
"Threatened with Rape?" Booth was outraged. "My God, Bones . . ."
"Booth its reality." Brennan had been afraid at the time, but unflinching during those incidents and she had come through them unscathed. "When you are doing something powerful people are afraid of, they try to stop you if they can. It's how the world works."
Disgusted and a little alarmed at Brennan's confession, Booth shook his head. "This is America and crime scenes should be safe. You can bet your ass they will be from now on, if I'm involved."
Amused, Brennan smiled and turned her head to watch the passing scenery. "Alright."
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He had thought he'd been angry when Brennan had been shot at, but he realized that he had been kidding himself. At that moment, he was so hot with anger he felt like the white hot end of a fireplace poker. Even now, after he'd threatened to blow the brains out of a gang leader he was still filled with rage.
The man had put out a hit on his partner and Booth had almost lost it. When he'd placed the gun in the man's mouth he'd almost pulled the trigger, but had kept enough control to stop himself and removed the gun. What scared the hell out of him was what he'd done afterward.
He'd ended the conversation and he knew Brennan was safe, but he was still so angry that he'd turned back, placed his pistol against the gang leader's head and he'd seriously considered pulling the trigger. He still didn't know why he'd let the man live. As a sniper for the Army he'd killed fifty men. Men who had deserved to die. Ramon Ortez is an evil man and he should be dead for the things he's done. What's one more stain on my soul? If Ortez does anything to get my partner killed I'll take him somewhere and make his death a long slow trip to hell and I'll do it with a smile.
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The next case bothered Booth more than he wanted to think about. While they were investigating the deaths of Chinese nationals killed in a plane crash they also worked on an old murder after the squints had found bits of bones from a victim that hadn't been on the plane, but on the ground amidst the wreckage.
Booth had helped where he could, but he felt like his partnership was under attack when a man named Jesse Kane became involved in the investigation. Brennan had appeared to be interested in the man and that made Booth's hackles rise up. He didn't like the thought of Brennan being interested in any man. They were friends, but he had to be truthful with himself, the longer he knew her the more his feelings were being tested. She was his friend, but he loved her. Yes, damn it I love her, but we're partners and we can't be together . . . fuck how did my life get so messed up.
Brennan indeed found Jesse an interesting person, but after he'd attacked his step mother, she realized that he wasn't her type. Angela was all about types and Brennan had decided to be honest with herself. She knew that she too had a type and Jesse Kane in no way represented what she considered to be an ideal male. Regretfully she distanced herself from the man.
After she had asked Booth to look into her parent's death she had reflected about what it was that she wanted and she found that she couldn't really hide the truth from herself. She knew who she wanted, but since she couldn't have him that created a dilemma for her. Was she ready to settle for less than her ideal? She didn't know and that worried her most of all.
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She knocked on Angela's apartment door and waited patiently.
Surprised to find Brennan in the hallway, Angela stepped back and allowed her friend to enter the living room. "Bren, what are you doing here?"
A little hesitant, Brennan entered the room, sat down on the couch and placed her purse on the floor. "You know I don't believe in love. It's all chemicals and hormones and it never lasts. It's not worth attaching yourself to someone when you know it won't last. It's ridiculous to give up one of the best friendships I've ever had just so I can have sex with him. I'm not being entirely rational, Angela. I need help understanding what's going on. Why do I want to risk my friendship, my very successful partnership pursing a relationship Booth? He doesn't want a relationship with me. I know he doesn't. I'm being irrational. He doesn't want me sexually and if I try to pursue it, it might cause him to break up our partnership, but if I don't do anything about it . . . if I don't do anything about it . . . why am I doing this to myself? I don't understand."
At first a little overwhelmed by Brennan's tirade, Angela soon realized what was going on and she wasn't sure how to help her friend. "Honey, you love Booth."
"No I don't." Brennan was quick to deny it. "I don't believe in love. I just told you that. You weren't listening."
"Honey I was listening." Angela sat down next to her friend and faced her. "You love Booth, but you don't think he loves you."
Calmer now that she had said what she had to say, Brennan nodded her head. "I know he doesn't. He told me that he loves working with me and that he loves our friendship. He doesn't want to risk our partnership because he loves his work, our work."
Frustrated, Angela gripped her hand around Brennan's hand. "He told you this recently?"
Brennan shook her head. "No, weeks ago."
"Talk to him, Honey." Angela knew that this situation was not going to go away. "Tell him how you feel about him. Maybe you two can figure out a way to keep your partnership and still become a couple."
Filled with sadness, Brennan sighed. "I can't. I've told you before he has a terrible track record when it comes to affairs. He told me he's been dumped and his relationships never last. I cannot risk losing my friendship with him. You and Booth are the only friends I've ever had that I can count on. You both accept me for who I am. I don't want to give up my friendship for a sexual relationship that probably won't last very long. It isn't worth it to me."
Exhaling deeply, Angela rubbed her forehead. "Bren . . . Honey, you're in love with the man. I think he loves you too. Take the risk. Please tell him."
Brennan stared at the woven basket sitting on the coffee table and finally shook her head. "No, I won't. This is just sexual frustration. I need to find a man that I can have a relationship with to take care of this problem."
"Booth . . . you need Booth." Angela wanted to shake her friend and make her listen, but she knew she couldn't do that. Brennan would not accept that kind of behavior from anyone. "Please Honey. . . "
"No." Brennan grabbed her purse and stood up. "I shouldn't have come here. I should have just handled it by myself. I'm sorry I bothered you."
Angela stood up and tried to place her arms around her friend, but Brennan stepped backwards to avoid it. "Honey, please talk to Booth."
Quickly, Brennan moved around the couch and over to the door. "No, it won't do any good. We're just friends. We're just partners." Opening the door, she paused in the doorway. "I'm fine Angela. I . . . I'm fine." After she closed the door, she rushed down the hallway and out into the Lobby. Once she was outside on the sidewalk, she moved slowly over to her car and thought about her plight. I don't believe in love, but I wish I did. It would be nice if it really existed.
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