The same summer breeze, the same green that surrounded her. This time, though, she could see, and she knew that she would remember.
The blades of grass that rustled in the wind, tickling her legs, although she didn't mind the feeling. A clear sky, with white, fluffy clouds that broke the otherwise constant blue above her. Behind her, a light gathering of trees, in front of her, an expanse of rolling hills. She could almost see them sway with the wind, although she knew it was just an illusion.
This time, she knew she would remember them when she woke up.
The packet of sugar was torn open, its contents then emptied into the steaming coffee cup.
Umi could only watch as Maki, her lunch partner for the day, stirred the hot drink with one hand. Her chin rested on the other hand, propped up by her elbow.
The blue-haired girl berated herself for feeling nervous. She and Maki were friends: that is, they had been friends back in high school. But that meant they were still friends, right? It wasn't like they had agreed to be Not Friends.
Umi suppressed a sigh. She was overthinking this. Maki had agreed to go to lunch with her, sudden as the invitation was. She wouldn't really call that a 'lunch,' though; the redhead had only asked for a coffee at the register, and refused to let Umi buy her anything else. ("That's what I have for breakfast all the time," she reasoned in the face of Umi's protests. She had won, of course.)
Still, Umi couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious as she stared at her plain sandwich. She had always been taught that it was rude to eat front of people who didn't -
"Are you just going to sit there and wait for me to talk first?"
The question cut through the building silence. Umi looked up to see that Maki hadn't moved from her bored-looking position, but her eyes now bored directly into her.
Umi shifted instinctually. "Come again?" she managed.
"You're the one that invited me to lunch." Maki reached for the plastic coffee cup lid, fitting it in its right place. "From how frantic you sounded on the phone, it must be pretty important." Taking a sip, she grimaced, apparently unsatisfied with her mixture.
"Oh, you could tell…" She felt her cheeks flush with heat. Maki's only response was to raise an eyebrow, so Umi continued. "You're right, it's something important. To me, at least." She produced a folded paper from her bag. "I would like your help."
Maki remained silent as she took the paper. It was remarkable, and somewhat intimidating, how she managed to keep that same bored pose as her eyes moved across Umi's writing.
It didn't take long for her to look back at Umi, who was fidgeting while waiting for feedback. "Is this an assignment? You're taking poetry classes right now, right?" The redhead inquired, indicating Umi's paper with a wave of her hand.
"Um, something like that?" Does she really not know?
Her unsure answer didn't seem to help. "Umi, I'd love to help you with your homework, but my classes are keeping me busy, too." Maki pushed the paper back across the table. "More importantly, my writing classes aren't nearly that intense. Why don't you ask your classmates to revise for you instead?"
Umi stared at her junior. She had been prepared for a variety of reactions from the other girl, but "completely misunderstanding" hadn't been on that list. "Maki, that's not my homework."
"Eh? But aren't you-"
"Those are lyrics. Song lyrics."
Maki met her stare, not breaking eye contact until she held Umi's work in front of her again. This time, her eyes scanned the page with considerably more interest.
The second read-through seemed much longer than the first. Umi was running out of things to fidget with when Maki finally lowered her paper. "So… you showed me this because -"
"Yes." Umi could tell where she was headed. "I want you to write a song with me. Specifically, you'd be in charge of the music."
Maki was now looking at her oddly, probably thinking that she was crazy. She would be right. They hadn't written a song together in years, most of μ's had gone their separate ways by now, and here she came like a bolt from the blue with this ludicrous request.
It was only natural for Maki to voice such concerns aloud. "Why do you want to write a song now? Is this for some sort of μ's Reunion Tour? How will the others even react when they hear that we're writing another song?" Despite her rapid firing of difficult questions, the redhead didn't seem angry. Just really confused.
Umi looked down. She had expected Maki to be skeptical about her idea, but that didn't mean she had any counterpoints. "To tell you the truth, I haven't even considered telling the other girls yet. I'm not very good at keeping in touch with them…" she confessed, poking at her sandwich.
"We know, Umi." Maki stated. Her bluntness made the blue-haired girl flinch. "So, like I said, why now?"
Umi knew that she wasn't putting together a very convincing case. Still, she could only shrug and say, "I don't know. I just felt like writing lyrics again."
She looked up, thinking Maki would roll her eyes. Instead, one corner of her mouth curled up into a smile. "That's the last thing I thought you would say."
Umi sighed with relief. "What did you think I would say?" She smiled back.
It was Maki's turn to shrug. "You were always the one with a plan. 'I want to because I feel like it' is something Honoka would say."
When was the last time Umi had heard that name? "Honoka…" she murmured. "I guess you're right." A chuckle escaped her.
"You really don't have any other reasons?" Maki had turned her attention back to her quickly cooling coffee, adding some pre-packaged creamer to the mix.
"I don't." Umi shook her head. "My inspiration could have picked a better time to come back."
"Your inspiration?" Maki echoed. "You're so cheesy."
Umi opened her mouth to defend herself, but stopped upon realizing that was probably just Maki's version of a friendly jibe. Remembering why she had asked Maki out to lunch in the first place, her voice took on a more serious tone."If you don't want to compose the music, I'd understand. It's a silly request."
To her surprise, Maki looked away. Umi could still see how her face reddened. "I haven't played the piano since I started university."
"That's understandable. Since you're so busy, I don't want to distract you from your studies."
"N-no, I think I can make time if it's important. It's just…"
When the redhead failed to continue, Umi tilted her head. "Just what?"
"...How hard do you want to make this song?" Maki still wouldn't make eye contact with her.
"How hard…?" Umi looked down in thought. It was a bit of an odd question. "As in, the range of the vocals? Or the musical arrangement?"
"The second one." Maki seemed oddly nervous; now she was the one fidgeting.
"Why, I thought I'd leave it up to you…" Umi trailed off, slowly realizing why Maki was asking her. She couldn't help herself; a smile dawned on her face. She'd be lying if she claimed that it wasn't slightly mischievous. "Maki, I'm sure that you're still skilled enough to make any arrangement work. You don't have to worry about that."
Just as planned, her junior flushed a shade of red to match her hair, her eyes widening at the accusation. "Th-that's not it!" she stammered, indignant. "I just-"
"You're the best piano player I know." Umi continued, stopping Maki's defense in its tracks. "Even if you haven't practiced in months."
Maki seemed to relax, although she was still having trouble getting that blush to leave her face. "Flattery won't get you anywhere with me." She huffed, taking a quick sip of her coffee.
"And you're the best composer I know."
"Jeez! You're so shameless!" Umi raised an eyebrow at the use of her own phrase, but she didn't have time for more than that as Maki leaned in, her blue eyes dangerously narrow. "I'll do it, okay? Stop laying it on so thick."
"I was just trying to convince you." Umi rubbed the back of her head, some self-consciousness at what she had just said finally setting in.
Maki rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair. "I would have agreed either way, you know."
"Really?"
"I study every day, but…" She shrugged. "A break from that would be nice."
Umi nodded, not knowing how to respond. Luckily, she didn't have to, since Maki continued. "Also, you look like you really want to see this through."
"Huh?" The perceptive comment caught Umi off-guard. "You can tell?"
"Well, it dragged you out from wherever you've been hiding these last two years." Maki gave her a pointed look.
Umi felt like she was being judged. "Ah, I guess you're right…" She didn't want to stay on the subject, but any further words eluded her.
"Anyway, if my grades start slipping because of this, you're ready to take full responsibility, right?" Maki crossed her arms. Umi couldn't tell if she was joking. Then again, Maki rarely joked around.
"It was my idea, I suppose, but what do you mean by that?"
Maki reached for her coffee again. Umi thought a reminder to drink it faster would help, since it was probably getting cold, but she was too curious about Maki's proposal to say anything.
"It's easy. I'll compose the song for you, on one condition."
Umi leaned in, her hands clasped together. "And that condition would be...?"
"If my grades go down before Christmas break, I have a request for you."
Umi sighed. It wasn't like Maki to talk in circles. "And?!"
To her annoyance, Maki stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder and scooping up her coffee in one motion. "I'll tell you what it is when it happens. And I'll update you as I work on the song." She held up her phone with her free hand. It had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "Anyway, I have class in ten minutes. See you."
Just like that, Maki was gone, and Umi was left with her mouth half-open. Unspoken questions faltered on the tip of her tongue. Maki had just agreed to compose the song for her… but she hadn't expected her junior to have a request in return! What could her ulterior motive possibly be?
Umi shook her head, scattering her doubtful thoughts. Maki was still her friend. Surely, it was a request that would benefit the both of them… or at least, it wouldn't hurt either of them.
...But then, why was she so tight-lipped about it?
Umi pursed her lips in disapproval. Her appetite had vanished, so she threw the pre-made sandwich into her bag. She could eat it in her room, provided she could get there fast enough. It wasn't doing her any good to overthink it: Maki had agreed to compose her song, and that was the important part.
Still, one thing Maki had said stuck in the blue-haired girl's mind as she stood up to leave.
"I'll tell you what it is when it happens."
"'When' it happens…" Umi muttered. "Not 'if' it happens."
It was ridiculous. Someone as studious Maki wouldn't deliberately tank her grades, her college grades no less, just for one request… would she?
Umi pushed in her chair, but something on the table caught her eye. A generous pile of coins lay on the table where Maki's coffee had been. She swiped them up, putting a hand to her forehead in disbelief as she counted them out.
"Come on… I said I'd pay for her, too."
Her phone was now set to vibrate after the incident in the lecture hall that morning. It still did its job of getting Umi's attention as it buzzed twice on the desk.
She took her eyes off of her frustratingly blank word document, grateful for the distraction. A new text message greeted her as she clicked the screen on:
Maki: you didn't tell me how you wanted your lyrics structured
Umi blinked, going over her lyrics in her head. Maki was right: she hadn't labeled which lines would serve which purpose. She looked back at her phone, about to type an apology, but it buzzed in her hand.
Maki: did you have something in mind or are you leaving that up to me?
Her fingers moved up and down the virtual keyboard.
Umi: Sorry, it just slipped my mind. I still have my lyrics too, you need a copy for yourself anyway. I'll give it to you in a second.
Her homework forgotten for the moment, she set her lyrics out on the desk. This would only take a moment, but every step closer made her heart race. Was it excitement? Nerves? Satisfaction?
She didn't know, but that was okay for now.
A minute later, Umi held her phone over the paper, and she squinted to prepare for the camera flash.
Umi: Here's the lyrics. I imagine the structure to be a little different than most of what we did in μ's. What do you think?
She got a response right away. Apparently, Maki had already started taking those studying breaks she mentioned.
Maki: huh
Maki: three verses, two choruses, a bridge, and an outro?
Maki: what have you been listening to lately
Umi ignored the snide remark… although maybe it was actually an earnest question. She could never tell through text alone.
Umi: Does that give you any ideas?
Maki: umi
Maki: it's been 3 hours since you showed me the lyrics
Maki: i need more time than that
Umi: When do you think you'll be done?
Maki: before christmas break
Maki: seriously
Maki: 3 hours
Umi tapped her phone lightly against her forehead. Maki was right. She was getting ahead of herself. Maki had a little less than three weeks if she wanted to be done before Christmas break, and even though it was more than enough time for someone like her, that time would probably fly by before either of them knew it.
She put her phone down, realizing it had drawn her away from her homework for too long, but it seemed intent on keeping her distracted, because it buzzed again.
Maki: let's get lunch tomorrow again
Maki: can't let you go back into your shell
Maki: now that you finally showed yourself
Umi sighed, yet she couldn't help the smile that followed. If it was coming from Maki, the truth hurt a little less.
Umi: You make it sound like I'm a NEET… I'm paying this time, okay?
Maki: sure, sure
Umi: Do you always have a late lunch?
Maki: yeah
Maki: 2:30 every day
Umi: Okay, that's fine.
After waiting for a moment, she guessed that Maki wasn't planning on responding. She clicked her phone off, sliding it across her desk so it was out of her reach. Turning her attention back to her laptop, she rubbed her hands together, looking at her writing prompt with a renewed anticipation. It didn't feel exactly like she was back in μ's again. Maybe this song would be a little different than anything they had made then. Hopefully, Maki felt the same way.
"Hold on a second."
They were seated at the same table as yesterday, at the same time as yesterday. Before anything else, she needed to clear up a glaring flaw in Maki's "lunch" of choice.
"Is coffee the only thing you have for lunch?!" She gestured towards the accused party.
"Huh?" Maki raised an eyebrow. "I always have a coffee for breakfast. I said so yesterday, too."
"Breakfast?" The two girls stared at each other. Umi couldn't believe what she was hearing. "...You haven't eaten today?"
Maki shook her head lightly, like this was completely normal. "I usually don't wake up until noon, and I have class around that time, so I don't eat until afterwards."
Umi couldn't stop herself from staring.
"Stop staring at me. Not everyone can wake up early for morning classes like you, Umi." Maki twirled her hair with a finger, an obvious act of self-consciousness.
Umi blinked, bringing herself back to reality. "Sorry. But that means…" she looked down at the coffee again, then back up to Maki, "... you only eat once a day?"
"No, it's usually twice a day. Once in the afternoon after all of my classes are done, and once before I go to bed."
"Those two times are pretty close together, aren't they?" That was one possible situation. The alternative was…
"I go to bed around four in the morning. Depends on how much homework I have," Maki stated. She was being awfully nonchalant about this.
Umi's eyes widened. "I get that everyone has different schedules, but…" She shrugged, at a loss for words. "What do you eat? All of the halls are closed by then."
"I usually have something in the freezer. My roommates and I are all science majors, so we're all up pretty late. We're used to it by now."
"So the rumors about science majors are true." The blue-haired girl nodded slowly, processing all this new information. Some of it wasn't very reassuring, though… "You can't eat frozen food all the time, right? It really does terrible things to your body."
Maki shrugged again. "It's fine. No problems so far."
"That won't do!" Umi exclaimed, drawing a couple of looks from some nearby students… and from Maki herself. Lowering her voice, she continued, but she couldn't ignore the heat that had taken presence on her face. "I cook for myself whenever I get tired of the food they sell here. You can come over to my apartment when that happens to you."
Maki didn't seem to approve as she crossed her arms. "What are you, my mom? Besides, is that really okay? I'm sure your roommates would mind."
"N-no, it's fine." Umi looked down, suddenly feeling ashamed. "I live by myself."
"Oh." Maki's eyes softened instantly. "Well, okay then… only because you're so insistent."
Umi chuckled, her shame from moments before now gone. "I have a lot of time on my hands, I suppose."
Maki uncrossed her arms, reaching for her coffee… which was probably getting cold again. "Really? You don't have club meetings or a job or anything like that?"
"I had a job last year, but I quit over summer break. I haven't reapplied this year, and I thought that I'd rather spend the time studying." Umi frowned as she recalled hours and hours of sitting in the backroom of the library, cataloging endless amounts of books. "It wasn't too exciting, either."
"What about study groups? Or friends that you've made here?"
"Um…" She wasn't very proud of this. "I… don't have friends like that here." She only had herself to blame for that, of course, as she thought of all the times that Marika had invited her to one of her many social activities. Maki didn't need to know all of that, though.
"I see…" Maki stared at her, rubbing her chin with one hand. She probably wasn't expecting that, given her lack of a proper response, but Umi also sensed a hint of pity in her eyes to accompany her surprise. "When I said that you've been hiding for these last two years, it really wasn't an exaggeration."
Umi's ears burned with embarrassment. "I know, but do you have to say it like that? I'm not exactly proud of it."
"Ah. Sorry." Her blue eyes suddenly lit up. "Right, I wanted to ask you something about your lyrics."
Now that the uncomfortable part of the conversation seemed over, Umi finally turned her attention to her sandwich, the same as yesterday's. She was intent on finishing it this time, though. "Go ahead."
Maki leaned in, and Umi felt the intensity of her gaze. It was almost if her junior was trying to pick her apart. "Why did you want to write them?"
She raised an eyebrow, confused. "I told you yesterday, didn't I? I just wanted to."
"No, that's not what I mean." Maki's eyes narrowed a little, not out of anger, but out of curiosity. "I know that. I want to know what gave you the idea. Where your inspiration came from, as you put it."
Umi took a bite of her sandwich, chewing it thoughtfully as she turned the request over in her head. "Why do you want to know?"
"How you felt when you wrote these-" at this, Maki held up her phone, where last night's picture of her lyrics was displayed. "- should be considered when I write the music. I'm probably going to make the sound different depending on the emotions that went into it. You want this song to sound a certain way, right?"
"Hmm… I guess I do, but I don't really know how to explain it." She offered Maki the other half of her sandwich, but the other girl declined it with a wave of her hand.
"Explaining it is my job, after all." Maki responded, almost as if she was expecting Umi to say that. "So?"
Umi smiled inwardly as snippets of yesterday's conversation replayed in her head. "You said I was cheesy yesterday, didn't you? I might actually agree with that." She laughed, but Maki remained silent. She continued after clearing her throat.
"I started having these dreams around this time last year. The first few times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, in part because I could never remember them clearly.
"After a couple of weeks, I thought to start keeping a dream journal to see if it could help me remember, since they weren't getting clearer. That failed pretty quickly, since I kept remembering the same handful of details and nothing more, so writing the same things down every night wouldn't have helped me. I gave up after the first entry."
She looked up from her sandwich to make sure that she still had Maki's attention. The redhead's eyes were still on her; thankfully, she couldn't find any hints of disbelief on Maki's face. This encouraged her, and she continued.
"I had them at least a few times a week, but I could never figure out what they meant, no matter how much I wanted to. So -" she trailed off as Maki suddenly broke eye contact, reaching for her bag. After a moment, she produced a notebook and pen, but Umi couldn't see what she had started to write.
The redhead looked at her expectantly when she didn't continue. "Go ahead, I'm listening."
Umi raised an eyebrow. "Are you writing down what I'm saying?"
"Of course. You want me to write a good song, right?"
"I do, but-"
"Like I said, your feelings are a really important part of songwriting. And there's a lot of feeling in what you're saying."
Once again, Umi was startled by her friend's perceptiveness. "Do you like people-watching?"
Maki leaned back ever so slightly in her chair, but the scowl on her face was much more obvious. "What does that have to do anything?"
"You're really observant, is all. Have you been talking to Nozomi recently?" Briefly, a thought flashed in Umi's head: perhaps their mischievous senior had asked Maki to check in on her? It wasn't an unrealistic assumption, especially if the other girls still worried about her like Maki had hinted at yesterday.
"Not any more than I usually do." The redhead shook her head. That probably meant that Nozomi hadn't given her any crazy ideas. "Anyway, I have to be observant, don't I? I think it's better for me to be in tune with people's feelings. I write better music that way."
Umi wanted to remark on her friend's surprising wisdom again, but kept the comment to herself, figuring it would just send her into another state of denial. Maki didn't give her the chance to, anyway, as she steered the conversation back onto its intended track. "Back to the interview. Where were we?"
Interview? Umi raised an eyebrow but didn't question it; the term was much more accurate now that Maki had her pen and paper primed and ready. "Right. It got to the point where I just gave up on figuring it out since it was so frustrating, but they didn't stop. I feel like I put too much thought into them, because it's been affecting how I saw my life in college and my schoolwork."
Maki interrupted her to ask, "What do you mean?" Her eyes didn't leave her notebook, however.
Umi took a deep breath. She had said too much to go back now. Apparently, today was the day she'd open up about her insecurities; some of them, anyway. "I said before that I haven't made many friends since I got here, but that's not entirely true. I think it's more accurate to say that I haven't made any real friends yet.
She put down her sandwich; she needed her full concentration to make sure she didn't make this next part sound like a plea for pity. "People have tried to talk to me, and I don't have a problem with that, but as soon as they find out that I don't do much other than attend class and study in my room, they start to worry. They tell me to join their club, or to study with their group of friends, or some other social activity. And as soon as they do, I start to think of what could go wrong. They're trying to get introduce me to all of these strangers, you know? I worry that they'll think I'm this awkward, unapproachable person, or that I'm weird for not trying to make friends, and I just think that I'll be a social disaster whenever I go."
Umi poked her index fingers together, ashamed at admitting how much of a recluse she had become. "So I would just rather study by myself than subject myself to that. It's a vicious cycle, I know. The longer I shut myself in, the worse it gets." She laughed, a sad, humorless laugh.
Maki didn't seem fully convinced. "You could perform in front of thousands of people in μ's, but you can't talk to twenty or so people in a study group? I think the stakes are a lot lower when you compare them."
"Yes, but I think it's different now. In high school, I had you and all the other girls with me. You pushed me to do all of those things when I never could have dreamed of doing them myself." After a moment, she added, "Especially Honoka." Her stomach knotted at the mention of the girl's name. "No matter how much I protested, you girls always knew that I could write lyrics that would bring us to the top, or that I could perform on stage along with everyone else.
"It's not like that here. I don't have anyone to push me anymore, and I haven't kept in touch with you or the other girls, so there isn't anyone to encourage me to try harder to make friends or step outside my comfort zone."
She looked to her junior for a reaction, but she had to wait a moment as Maki's pen was still moving across the paper. The redhead looked up when she was done, her expression unreadable. "You said your dreams were too unclear to take anything away from them, right?"
It seemed a little off-topic, but Umi went with it, since she probably had a reason for asking now. "For about a year, yes."
"But they still influenced you that much? And they led you to all of those conclusions?"
When put that way, it didn't seem to add up. Umi's eyes drifted around the room, letting the questions hang in the air so she could weigh them. She answered, slowly, "As you can probably tell by now, it wasn't the details that stuck with me. I think it was the feeling."
Maki's pen, previously moving rhythmically across the paper, came to a halt. She remained silent, but her blue eyes were now fully on Umi.
"I think the reason I wanted to know what they meant, and why I was having those dreams, is because I wanted to replicate how they made me feel." She rubbed at her chin with one hand, falling silent. It wasn't to keep Maki in suspense, she just didn't know how to answer the question that would surely follow.
She didn't have to wait long as Maki leaned in. "How did they make you feel?" She couldn't contain her curiosity, it seemed.
Umi only shook her head, her hand still restless and moving across the underside of her face. A few seconds wasn't long enough to come up with a proper answer. "A sense of longing, I suppose? I don't know. It made me feel like I didn't want to wake up. Like my dreams were better than when I was awake. I don't think there's a word for that."
Maki nodded, slowly and deliberately, but she seemed satisfied with the answer. There was one important detail that had yet to be touched upon, though, and both girls knew it. "Then, what exactly did you dream about?"
Before her moment of clarity two nights ago, Umi had memorized the details (or more precisely, the frustrating lack thereof) of her recurring dreams to answer without hesitation. "Every time, I was in some sort of springtime setting. It might have been a field or a meadow of some sort, but I couldn't say for sure. There weren't enough details that I could tell for sure, but I was pretty sure that I had never actually been there. There really wasn't much for me to latch onto, just that the sky was so clear and that the weather was always beautiful.
"The strangest part is that it all felt very familiar, I think. It doesn't make much sense, does it? To see a place that I've never been to, yet feel so comfortable there…" Umi trailed off, shaking her head. "Especially since it was all such a blur after I woke up."
Her recounting of the past year's events stirred up vivid details of the un-prettiness of it all, and she was so busy wallowing in the feeling that she didn't hear the rhythmic, rapid tapping of Maki's pen for several moments. Looking up, Umi was greeted with that very sight, and she wasn't sure whether her friend had written all of that down or not. She opened her mouth just as Maki broke her quiet spell, her head shifting back up to attention. "So, you still can't recall anything?"
Umi picked up her half-eaten sandwich and waved off the question in succession. "No, two nights ago I had the same dream, but that time I could remember everything. I was so excited to have finally remembered, and I wanted to do something with it, so those lyrics are the result. I wrote them that same night."
Maki nodded, her eyes wide with a sudden realization. "So that's why you called me at three in the morning."
"Sorry about that. I thought it was a good idea at the time." Umi chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. "Do you want to know the rest of the details?" She gestured to Maki's notebook, but the pianist shook her head.
"You've given me a lot to work with already." Umi jumped when she felt something brush against her free hand, and she looked down to see Maki's hand on top of hers, a rare gesture from the usually hands-off redhead. "You didn't have to tell me all that, either. Some of it probably wasn't easy to say."
Umi smiled, a half-amused and half-touched smile. "It's fine. I've had a long time to think about these things. Really, I should be the one thanking you."
"Why?"
"For listening to all of that." Umi turned her hand over to give Maki's a quick squeeze before withdrawing. She idly noted that Maki's cheeks had started to redden.
"It's all for the song, isn't it?" Maki shut her notebook and slid her pen into the rings on the left side, a snug fit. She stood up after throwing it into her bag, confirming the time with a quick glance at her phone. She turned around to leave, and Umi thought she was going to end the conversation on that unconventional note, but she looked back after a moment, the beginnings of a smile on her face.
"I'll visit you at your room if you cook for me. We can write the song faster that way, too."
"You will?" A thought occurred in Umi's mind: yesterday, and who Maki would blame if her grades slipped. Was this all part of the plan?
"Sure. Anyone would feel bad after hearing what college has been like for you."
...Or maybe Umi had unwittingly played the pity card, after all. She sighed, and after following Maki's retreating figure until it disappeared into the constant bustle of students, she looked back to her sandwich. She was surely going to finish it this time.
Maki hadn't said when she would visit, but Umi suspected that she wouldn't have to wait that long.
Two days passed. Umi kept checking her phone in the middle of class (and got some passing comments from Marika about it) but hadn't heard from Maki since then.
Then, Friday afternoon, she was at her desk, getting nowhere with her final draft, when she heard an entirely alien sound: three knocks on her door.
She approached it cautiously, creaking it open with the chain lock still in place, but she relaxed upon seeing who it was.
Umi couldn't tell if Maki seemed impatient or if that was just her usual expression."I've been busy studying," was the blunt reply to Umi's unspoken question as she opened the door all the way. The blue-haired girl could only watch as Maki's bag was tossed unceremoniously onto the bed as if it was her own. "I've also given some thought to how I want this to sound." At this, she brandished a well-worn, well-folded paper from her coat pocket that Umi instantly recognized. The paper of lyrics was offered to her, and she took it, unfolding it so she could see Maki's progress.
Her mouth creased thoughtfully as her eyes scanned the paper. It was now decorated with scribbles, half-written sentences, and crossed-out words along its outer edges. One word showed up more any other, however, and it naturally caught her attention. "Jazz?" Curiously, she looked back to Maki for an explanation.
The redhead had her attention elsewhere; her coat now removed, she hung it on the nearby rack before turning to address Umi. "I thought your lyrics might be suited to a more natural sound, like something that uses real instruments instead of a computer."
"We've never done a song like that." Umi flipped through the catalog of μ's songs in her head, but she was unable to find a counterexample. "What instruments were you thinking of using?"
"Just the usual." When this was met with a blank stare from Umi, Maki looked at her incredulously. "You haven't listened to jazz before?"
Umi shook her head. Maki seemed surprised, but any potential judgmental comments were passed up in favor of a quick rundown. "A small jazz arrangement would include drums, a bass, a piano, and maybe a trumpet. I think that's all we would need."
"I see." Umi nodded slowly, surprised that Maki had neglected to write that down on the paper even though she seemed confident about the instrumentation. "Where would we get those? No one we know can play instruments. Except you, of course," she quickly added after she saw Maki's expression start to turn sour.
"Um." Maki averted her eyes. "I haven't gotten that far yet. Anyways," she turned away, clearly wanting to change the subject, "you don't have any idea what this might sound like, right? Since you've never listened to jazz before."
"No, I guess I don't."
"Then you're lucky I have this." She whirled around to face Umi, now holding a pair of earbuds connected to her smartphone. Both of them were pushed into Umi's hands. "I have a playlist of jazz songs on there. It's about 250 songs, which should be more than enough for you to get acquainted with the genre."
Umi looked down to see that Maki's phone was already unlocked and open to the music app. She touched the playlist labeled "Jazz" and began to scroll through the selection there. Unsurprisingly, she didn't recognize any of the titles or artists that she passed by. "Where did you find all of this?"
"My parents have a collection of jazz CDs at our summer home. They showed it to me, thinking I would like it, and I did. So I burned my favorites to my computer and I can put them on my phone from there." She gestured towards her smartphone.
"Your favorites?" Meaning, this wasn't even the entire collection?
Maki nodded. "My parents mostly like the classics, but I wanted to find more on my own, so that playlist is a mix of classic and contemporary jazz."
Umi was still having trouble digesting the "favorites" part. She didn't think that she had time to listen to 250 (or more) songs before the Christmas break deadline.
"...I think I have a speaker somewhere," she managed. "We'll listen to it while I make dinner." At this, she walked a few steps to her desk and opened a drawer, hoping she had thrown it in there by chance. Luckily, she had, and she victoriously pulled out the handheld speaker along with an auxiliary cord.
"Oh, what are you making?" Maki seemed excited; it was only apparent in the way that her eyes lit up.
"I only know how to cook easy things…" Umi went over the ingredients she probably had in the kitchen. "Are you okay with curry?"
Maki made a face. "Is that easy?"
"It is to me."
The redhead considered it for a moment before shrugging. "Curry's fine. Guess I'll study over here." She muttered the last part mostly to herself, her sights on the couch and coffee table that comprised most of the modest living room.
While she did so, Umi stepped towards her kitchen, unlocking Maki's phone to prepare her jazz playlist. As she did so, however, a notification popped up on screen: a new message. She looked at the sender, but there was a group name where it should have been. Her heart caught in her throat as she realized it was a message from the μ's group chat, still active after all of these years.
Not that she would know.
And yet, she was now given an opportunity to peek in on what she had been distanced from. A quick glance confirmed that Maki was already absorbed in her studying on the couch, her back to Umi. It wouldn't hurt, would it? Maki would never know that she had looked through all of their messages…
"Ouch!" She hadn't been paying full attention to where she was going until her foot slammed into one of the wall's corners. Realizing that she had reached the threshold to her kitchen, the pain in her stubbed toe quickly took precedence in her mind and she limped the rest of the way to the pantry, muttering curses under her breath.
As the pain subsided and her mind refocused on the matter at hand, she started to have second thoughts. Even if it was a group chat, reading the messages through Maki's phone would be an invasion of privacy. The offense was even more heinous if she considered the fact that Umi could easily access the messages through her own phone, since she was a member of the group chat as well. Looking at them through Maki's phone was plain rude when she took that into account.
Umi sighed, ashamed at herself for considering such a thing just after Maki had entrusted her with her phone. Suppressing any other traitorous desires, she put the phone, speaker, and necessary cords down on the small area next to the stove before making her way to the pantry.
"What song is this, Maki?"
She had set the speaker to be loud enough for both of them to hear, an easy task since the kitchen was adjacent to the living room and was accessible from said room, but Maki still took several moments to respond.
The lone couch faced away from the kitchen, so Maki had to turn around to address Umi. "'Moanin'' by Art Blakely and the Jazz Messengers."
"What?"
Umi turned away from her pot of curry to meet Maki's exasperated glare. "Do I have to repeat all of that?"
"I guess I'll just look at it…" She put down her wooden spoon to reach for Maki's smartphone, and she saw that the song information matched up with what she had said. The sound was rather new to Umi, with a distinct drumbeat, a walking bassline, and a piano player who didn't seem to care what he played outside of the main riff. Currently, the trumpet was up on a solo. "You want our song to sound like this?"
"Not necessarily." Maki was facing away from her again. "This song uses all of the instruments I was talking about, but I want it to sound more modern than this."
Umi nodded, even though Maki couldn't hear her, but she didn't have anything to add. She didn't know what "more modern" really meant in relation to this sound, after all.
She picked up her wooden spoon and went back to stirring her concoction, which would eventually become curry. The song went on, the trumpet solo gave way to a piano solo. When Maki spoke up again, it was clear that she had become distracted.
"You should join the group chat."
Umi stopped stirring the pot. She glanced over at her friend, but Maki wasn't looking at her like she had expected. She continued stirring, but at a slower pace. "I'm still in it."
"It's like you aren't, since you never say anything." There wasn't any instigation in Maki's voice. She said the words matter-of-factly, the way she always talked. She had every right to, of course: everything she said was true.
The jazz playing on the speaker, now on a different song, seemed to drown in the silence that followed. Umi put the lid on top of the pot to let the curry simmer, and she walked over to the couch. It was crowded with Maki's study materials where the redhead wasn't sitting, but she gathered them up and moved them to the coffee table so Umi could sit. She did so, and she wondered for a moment longer if she should defend herself.
She decided against it. "I turned off notifications for our group chat, so I don't see whenever it's active."
She looked over to Maki for a reaction, who looked as if she was about to ask why, but she took a different approach. "They worry, you know. About you."
"Ah." Umi focused on the floor. "I can't blame them."
"Nico was wondering if you died."
"What?" She looked over, disbelieving, but Maki's face was expressionless as usual. She couldn't reconcile those ridiculous words with their deadpan delivery, so she did the only thing she could do: she laughed. It started as a short giggle, but she couldn't contain herself, and it escalated into full-on laughter, her eyes tearing up when she was unable to calm herself down. Thankfully, she saw out of the corner of her eye that Maki shared her amusement, although her laughter was much more contained. Either that, or the feeling was simply contagious.
"I wonder if she knows how ridiculous that sounds," Umi managed after the laughter died down. "Just because I haven't been answering for a while…"
"You know how she is. She's just as worried as the rest of them. The rest of us, I should say." Maki looked away, the smile from moments before still lingering on her face.
"You have every right to be," Umi admitted. "It's just that… I don't know if I'm ready yet."
She rubbed the back of her head, fully expecting Maki to press the issue, but her junior remained silent. They sat there for a moment, and Umi wasn't sure whether to keep going or to drop the subject, but Maki beat her to it when she turned towards the kitchen. "I think the curry's ready."
"Ah. You're right." She got up and walked the few steps back towards the kitchen, the jazz music getting louder again. Inwardly, she breathed a sigh of relief that Maki wasn't so pushy.
She thought that she was starting to like this genre, this jazz.
The subject of μ's didn't come up again for the rest of the night. Dinner went rather smoothly, in part because the conversation had shifted back to easier topics: namely, school and the constant stress of upcoming finals.
It was dark when they finished, and Maki wasted no time in leaving. "I promised my roommates that I'd do homework with them," she explained. "Thanks for dinner. I'll try to stop by again before Christmas break."
Umi opened the door for her, taking Maki's dark grey coat and black scarf off of the rack. "Come by anytime."
Maki nodded, taking her clothes from Umi's outstretched hand, and then she was on her way. Umi shut the door after she was out of sight. She was alone once again.
Her own smartphone had been laying dormant on her desk while Maki was there, but now, she picked it up, going right to her "Notifications" tab in her settings. Maki's advice to her echoed in her mind.
It didn't convince her enough. After one more moment of consideration, she switched off her phone, shaking her head. She wondered when she would be ready.
In the meantime, she had taken note of the highlights from Maki's jazz playlist. She knew what her homework would be for the next few days… along with her actual assignments, of course. One of those things took precedence over the other, though.