I do not own FSOG, FSD, FSF, any of its characters of affiliates. They belong to E. L. James and I will not profit from this.
Doing one chapter in everyones POV, don't worry everything is going to come out eventually! Don't badger me about it not making sense, it won't do for a while!
Also I don't explain the procedure of the rape kit in this chapter because it will all be described in the next chapter or the one after that from Ana's POV.
***WARNING*** This chapter does continue to discuss rape and may be a trigger to some readers, reader discretion is advised!***WARNING***
Melissa Daniels
Entering Ana Grey's room is hard, it's always hard, no victim is ever the same, no case is ever easy and I know this one will be unique and painful in its entirety.
It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, the blinds are shut and only a dim bedside lamp gives any light into the room, just illuminating on small corner.
I see Ana Grey on the bed, her back is to me and she's shaking and from experience I know the shaking is her sobbing and not shivering from cold.
I'm experienced and I know my job just as I know victims and my most important job at this moment is to not startle Ana, to build up communication with her and get her to trust me before I guide her through giving her statement and possibly go through a rape kit.
"Ana?" I say quietly once the door behind me has clicked shut. She turns quickly to look at me, her eyes wide with terror, I instantly put my hands up to the side of my head in surrender. "I'm not going to hurt you Ana, you're safe now sweetheart." I say quietly and she blinks and lets out the breath she was holding in fear. "My name is Melissa Daniels and I'm the victim advocate assigned to your case. May I come closer? I'd like to explain my job to you before we go any further." She's hesitant, they always are, her brown hair is matted and fanned out on the pillow behind her, beautiful blue orbs look empty, dead almost. It's a look I've seen dozens of times before but each one burns into my memory and hurts me just as deeply.
"Ok." She whispers and I give her a reassuring smile before dropping my hands and making my way slowly across the room so not to startle her. I walk around to the window and find a chair already beside my bed, my hand signals it automatically and she gives a small nod allowing me to sink into it.
I fill her in on my job, how I work with the SPD but most importantly how I basically will be there for her, how I will be her guide through everything. She's listening, taking in every word I say though her face is emotionless, I know she's withdrawing into herself and it's going to be a hard fight for her to face everything.
"So Ana my first question is probably going to be the hardest ok?" I say quietly and she nods. "Were you raped?"
I see her checking me out again, her blue eyes searching my face for something though I couldn't possibly work out what. I know she's traumatised, I can see that much.
"I didn't fight him." Her voice is so quiet, she sounds like a little child who has been punished and is now giving her very apologetic explanation.
"That doesn't matter Ana." I say quietly reaching my hand slowly for hers, I stop right by her hand and let her make the move to touch me, I'm glad when she slips her own hand into mine and I give her a small squeeze, it means that the connection I needed to build and the trust I had to establish has been done and that's important if I'm going to help her in any way.
"I knew what he was going to do." She says closing her eyes and letting out a breath that sounds painful.
"You knew he was going to rape you?" I ask gently, this doesn't get easier for any victim, they have to tell their stories over and over again and it doesn't get easier.
"I knew he was going to rape me, I knew he was going to beat me." She says tears pooling in her blue eyes and like many I have seen before she blinks them away and rubs her free hand, the one not holding mine, across them.
"It's ok to cry Ana, if you need to cry I'll wait for when you're ready ok?" I tell her firmly but with a softness to my voice that I know she recognises and senses, I need her to be completely sure in herself though I know for the coming weeks she's going to be anything but sure or certain of herself.
"He was my Mom's third husband." She says squeezing her eyes shut before a sob breaks out from her and she begins to convulse in distressful tears.
All I can do is sit there and stroke my thumb across the back of her hand and let her cry it out. Crying is good, crying means she's facing what is happening to her, she's not blocking it out and pretending it happened to someone else or didn't happen at all.
"He almost did it before…" I just about make out through her wails. "I ran away and then went to live with Ray…I knew what he was going to do… but Amaya…"
I know Amaya is her daughter and she had been kidnapped and now without her having to tell me everything is falling into place.
"He didn't rape me… because I knew what he was going to do… I didn't fight… I didn't say no…" She's hysterical now and I know that any words she tries to say will be lost within her sobs. It breaks my heart, it always does listening to victims stories but this one… I've not faced anything like this before… she knew what he was going to do and she didn't say no but it's still rape unless she gave consent… did she consent to him penetrating her? I need her calm so I can establish whether rape occurred or not before I can discuss the rape kit with her.
"Ana sweetheart listen to me ok?" I say quietly and she compresses her sobs into dry hiccups and looks at me to show she's listening. "Did you invite him to have intercourse with you?"
"No." Her voice is so tiny, the distress obvious in her face.
"Did you tell him he could in any way?"
"No."
"Did he ask for your consent? Did he ask if it was ok for him to penetrate you?"
"No."
Then I think we have a case of rape but I can't say that, she has to give the outcry, I need her to tell me the words herself before I can ask her to consent to a rape kit.
"Ana, I need you to tell me if he raped you." I tell her as gently as I can and she lets loose another sob before nodding hard. "Yeah?"
"He raped me." She says before she's overcome by hysterical sobs once more.
Her grip on my hand is borderline painful but I won't shrug her off, I know for many women I am their anchor through these cases and I know that Ana having latched onto me the way she has that for her I'm going to be like that. I can do nothing but wait while she sobs and until she calms I can say no more.
It takes a god ten maybe fifteen minutes before she quietens and I hate to be the burden of some more possible bad news but we have to talk properly now.
"Ok Ana, I need to ask you if you would consent to doing a rape kit but first I'm going to explain to you exactly what the procedure is, you can choose to only have some aspects of it and that's fine but the police need the evidence that they will get from the procedure as well as you needing the treatment so can you keep that in mind as I explain the procedure to you?" She gives a tiny nod and shifts in discomfort in the bed before giving me a small nod to start explaining the procedure.
The explaining of the procedure is easy, it's just science talk but I know once the victims consents that's where the challenge begins for both of us. I will be the one reassuring her, supporting her, explaining exactly what is happening to her the entire time and it's a long time. Most rape kits can take six hours or more to complete and to the victim it probably feels like much longer.
After I explain I tell Ana she doesn't have to decide straight away but I see a flare in her blue eyes, something I can't even begin to describe and I know it's an emotion, she's finally showing me she's feeling something other than dead.
"I want to do it." She says. "All of it."
I can only nod and give her a reassuring smile though inside I feel relief, if we're going to prove this scumbag actually raped her we need evidence.