I do not own FSOG, FSD, FSF, any of its characters of affiliates. They belong to E. L. James and I will not profit from this.

***WARNING*** This chapter does continue to discuss rape and may be a trigger to some readers, reader discretion is advised!***WARNING***

Christian

I pace back and forth along the waiting room floor desperate for some news on my wife. It's been three hours since that Melissa woman went to speak to her and I've heard nothing since. I've been to see Amaya and she's fine but they think she'll be asleep for a few more hours, Elliot and Kate are with her now just in case she does wake even though the Doctors aren't to hopeful that will be until morning at the earliest.

Mom has finally gone to see what she can find out about Ana, the Detectives are dying to speak to her but I told them the next person in to see my wife will be me as I need to know that she's ok. I keep replaying the fact that she may have been assaulted or raped around in my head. My poor Ana! I just want to hold her and apologise, if I'd just worked harder to find our daughter I could have prevented this! I can't even believe that she may have been raped by whoever this man is.

Then police of course are telling me nothing but I have Taylor and Luke working on it, they're the best of the best so if anyone can figure out who these people are then it's them.

Carla and Ray are here of course. They're terrified not knowing what is going on with Ana and it kills me that I don't have any answers for them, Carla has done nothing but sob even when she went to see Amaya she just continuously cried.

Thankfully all the kids are at home with Gail, they've been told that Amaya is fine and that she's just in the hospital to be checked over which is true, she's under observation and they'll figure out if the pills have done any long term damage when she wakes. What they don't know of course is that something has happened to Ana.

"Christian." Mom says quietly as she comes into the room.

"Where's Ana Mom?" I ask near tears as she takes my hand, it's not good… I know it can't be good Mom looks like she's about to sob and so I know that whatever it is she is going to tell me it's going to be heart-wrenching.

"Ana consented to a rape kit Son, that's where she is now in the gynaecology suite with a SANE nurse and the advocate." I bury my palms into my eyes to hide the sudden onslaught of tears. My wife was raped. "She's going to need you now Christian, more than ever before. Whatever thoughts you're having about finding the man who did this to her and finishing him off they have to stop now and you need to prepare yourself to see Ana."

I grab my Mom in a tight embrace and sob, my baby, my Ana… I can't believe this. Someone raped her, my wife! I am in such a state of mixed emotions, I want to hunt this man down and kill him but I also just want to be with my wife, holding her, reassuring her.

"I need to see her." I hiccup as Grace runs her hand through my hair like Ana often does when I'm upset or angry.

"I know but you can't at the moment, the rape kit is in the middle of being done and you barging in there would cause her a lot of distress, the kit can take a good few hours so I think it's probably best for you to go and get your head down."

"I can't leave her." I say desperate for my Mom to understand.

"Then go and sort out getting her some pyjamas and a robe and a change of clothes, from what I understand she's not badly injured and they'll discharge her in the morning." Grace explains but I don't understand her words, not badly injured? She's been raped for fuck sakes if that's not injured then I don't fucking know what is.

It's been seven long hours. I've been back to see Amaya a few times and I've filled Carla and Ray in on what has happened to Ana and why they can't see her. I didn't tell Kate or Elliot, it's up to Ana if they're allowed to know though I do know they would support her if they did know, they're her siblings just as they are mine.

Finally a nurse comes towards me in the waiting room and she kneels down in front of me cupping her hands around mine which are clasped together, elbows on my knees.

"I heard you've been a demanding young man." She jokes with a twinkle in her old brown eyes and I give her a small shrug. "I can tell you that Ana did very well and she's back in her room asking for a shower, I saw the bag you had taken in for her but I'm going to ask you to be patient just a little longer after her shower she might be more receptive to seeing you."

"She doesn't want to see me?" I ask horrified, why wouldn't Ana want to see me I'm her husband, the love of her life in the same way she is mine.

"She's been through something very traumatic Sweetie, right now she's afraid of everything and everyone though she's latched on to the victim advocate Melissa and she was quite happy with me being her SANE nurse. She mentioned she didn't want you to know what had even happened though I found out when I processed the kit you'd already found out. From experience I can tell you a lot of spouses don't want their husbands or wives finding out they were raped for so many different reasons, what you need to do right now is find out exactly what you plan to tell her when I do let you into her room because the slightest hint of you not being on her side is going to send her into a downward spiral do you understand me?"

This nurse doesn't know me, she doesn't know Ana but she does know rape victims and that's why I nod as she squeezes my hands, if anyone is going to make me say the right thing to Ana it's going to be this woman. I don't know why Ana wouldn't want me to know what happened to her, we've never had any secrets in our marriage hence why we're still together ten years later.

"Good now I'm going to help her shower and get her back in bed while you think through exactly what you're going to tell her." She says getting to her feet, I give her a small nod and she gives me a thin lipped apologetic smile before she walks off.

I hate having to wait, I want to see Ana and see for myself that she's alright physically. I know that emotionally she's traumatised not only from losing our daughter but from the rape. I mean I understand enough about rape and sexual assault to know how it affects people even if I've never dealt with it directly myself, I've never been involved in the life of a rape victim knowingly anyhow.

What's frightening is that this is my Ana and I'm apprehensive about seeing her. I have no idea how I'm going to react or how she's going to react or what to say. This is terrible! She's my fucking wife I shouldn't be so uncertain!

"Christian?"

I snap my head up and catch the eye of Doctor Flynn, there's only one explanation for his unannounced visit at near two in the morning and that's that my Mother called him.

"Hello John." I say quietly which he sees as an invitation to come into the room and sit opposite me.

"How are you holding up?" He asks, typical fucking shrink.

"I'm ok, better than Ana anyhow." I say gritting my teeth in anger.

"Your Mother explained." So I was right in who called him.

"What do I say to her John?"

"What do you want to say to her Christian?" Only Shrinks can turn a question on you like that and it's fucking annoying.

"That I'm here for her, that I'll make sure she's safe now. That I won't let anyone hurt her again."

"That's a good place to start. How about telling her that you love her?"

"Of course I love her."

"She might be doubting it right now Christian, she will need constant reassurance of your love and support. She'll probably have RTS…"

"RTS?" I ask horrified at what this could mean.

"Rape trauma syndrome, it's a form of PTSD. I have a friend of mine who is on a plane over right now as a favour to me, she is the best in the field of psychiatry and rape trauma syndrome and she's willing to council Ana for the next few months, she's got family here maybe you could help set her up with an apartment?"

"Of course, if she's going to help Ana… anything John I'll do anything."

"Of course you will. Also Ana will be like she's grieving. Tamara Campbell will be able to tell you more about how to help with Ana's PTSD when it hits but at the moment I need to tell you to take caution, she's not going to want to be touched, don't make any sudden movements towards her, even though she knows it's you consciously, subconsciously her mind and body are anticipating another attack and sudden movements and unexpected touching could send her into an anxiety attack so when you do finally see her easy does it, let her touch you first or ask her if you can touch her as waiting may even make Ana think that you don't want to touch her." I can only nod and take in everything he says, he knows what he's talking about and in this situation I know nothing, I have to listen to the words I'm sure his expert friend told him to alliterate. "Now is there anything you'd like to discuss with me?"

"Not right now John though I think we'll be hitting three times a fucking week soon." I tell him and he gives a small nod.

"Ana's strong Christian and with your love and support she'll be able to move on from this." John says as he gets to his feet. "Tamara will land at around six am and she's asked to be brought straight here apparently the quicker she can find out what happened the quicker she can begin guiding Ana on how to deal with it."

"Thanks John." I say quietly before he walks off.