I do not own FSOG, FSD, FSF, any of its characters of affiliates. They belong to E. L. James and I will not profit from this.

***WARNING*** This chapter does continue to discuss rape and may be a trigger to some readers, reader discretion is advised!***WARNING***

Christian

Finally I'm allowed into Ana's room even though she's not given her consent and is sleeping. Mom says that I should be there for when she wakes up because the chances are high that she'll wake up from a nightmare.

That thought terrifies me. I've never really witnessed Ana have a serious nightmare, yes there were a few ten years ago after the Jack Hyde thing but they weren't too bad but my Mom has already explained to me that these will be bad, that Ana will wake up terrified probably because she'll be back being attacked again and I should be there for her for when she wakes up, she'll need me.

As soon as I enter the room I see Melissa sat holding Ana's hand and Ana tossing and turning and mumbling in her sleep, I always loved that she would talk in her sleep, it would give me some insight in her thoughts and I would love teasing her about them the next day.

Of course I gain no pleasure from the sight before me. Ana is visibly terrified even though she's asleep and her mumblings all consist of "please, don't , no, stop" it breaks my heart and I feel my tears gather in my eyes.

"Mr Grey." Melissa nods acknowledging me as I slip into a seat on the opposite side of Ana's bed to her.

I just give her a nod before taking Ana's hand just in time for her to shoot upright screaming at the top of her lungs. Both Melissa and I react, jumping from our seats but she takes a step back when I sit on the bed and pull Ana into my arms.

"I'm here baby, it's me Christian and you're safe. You're in the hospital and you're safe baby. I love you so much baby, it's me, it's Christian." I just keep repeating who it is holding her and where she is and reminding her that she's safe just as Mom and Flynn told me to and eventually she calms down only to cling to me and sob hysterically. "Shh baby I've got you." I tell her as I hold her tight, I wouldn't let her go again if I had the choice.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't want him to touch me but he had Amaya, I'm so sorry Christian I'm sorry." Each time she apologises it's like a knife in my heart, she's got no fucking reason to apologise but I also know she's not in the right from of mind to understand that.

"It's not your fault baby, shh you're safe. I love you Ana and I always will ok." I feel her nod before I pull her back just so I can look at her. I examine her face but there's not a mark there, she just looks like my Ana though her eyes look cold and distant and the tear stains kill me.

"Please don't let go of me." She whispers burying her head back in my chest.

"Never." I reply and hopefully that statement is true. Eventually I feel her breaths even out and I lay her back in bed before lying beside her spooning with her just how we would at home. Melissa says nothing but I know she's still sat there as I stroke my wife's hair and kiss her cheek. I don't even know what happened to her nor do I know who though Taylor says he's got some stuff for me he wanted to dig a little deeper before bringing everything he knew to me, I told him it could wait until morning as knowing who did this to my wife doesn't change anything, it doesn't take away from her pain and grief.

It's not long before she's screaming again, caught in the land between sleep and awake that has her trapped in the memory of her nightmare but awake enough to be reacting. I hold her tight until her screaming stops and her sobs ensue and I find myself sobbing right along with her.

"Please don't leave me." Her quiet voice catches my ear.

"Never baby, never." Her words break my heart, the sound of her fear.

"But you don't know what he did." She says in hysterics.

"Shh baby I know but it will never happen again, I love you and you're safe now." I know she's referring to the rape, she thinks I don't know and that kills me.

"I don't want to sleep anymore." She hiccups into my chest.

"You don't have to sleep baby, if you don't want to sleep you don't have to." I tell her holding her still, I can understand why she doesn't want to sleep, I remember when I had a nightmare years ago, before Ana, I never wanted to go back to sleep and rejoin my abuser.

"I'm sorry Christian, I'm so sorry."

"Shh baby you have nothing to be sorry about." I tell her wishing that she would believe me but I know inside that she won't, not for some time will she believe that she has nothing to apologise about.

The door opening has Ana screaming in fear and trying to squeeze herself smaller into my chest. I hold her tight and look to the door to see my Mom standing there looking guilty.

"Ana it's ok, it's just my Mom, you're safe baby please."

Ana slowly looks up and as her eyes find my Mom's figure she relaxes and even gives a weak smile, there's my resilient Ana shining through.

"I just got you all some food and drink." She says putting a tray with three coffees down followed by a paper bag.

"Grace can you take me to see Amaya?" Ana asks sounding a little more like herself.

"If that's what you want sweetie let me just get a wheelchair for you."

"I'd rather walk Grace… please." She looks desperate towards my Mom and I see realisation cross my mother's features.

"Of course darling, come on let's get your slippers on."

Ana is happy to let Mom help her put her slippers on but not once does her hand let go of mine. Together we head out with the Victim Advocate staying behind to eat and drink and maybe even get some sleep.

"Is she ok?" Ana asks as we walk, only Ana would be thinking of others in a time like this, she's the most selfless person I've ever had the privilege to know.

"Yes, she's still sleeping and we won't know much else until she wakes up I'm sorry darling." Grace replies softly. Ana seems to be ok with Mom and that's a good thing, I don't want her scared around any of our family.

"When can I go home?"

"They'll discharge you in the morning." Grace replies instantly and Ana nods.

"I just want to go home." She says her voice quiet again, hearing the pain and seeing it on her beautiful face is like a dagger in the heart especially knowing there is nothing I can possibly do to take away her grief and anguish.

"I know sweetie, soon." Mom replies softly.

When we arrive at Amaya's room I see Kate and Elliot still vigil beside the bed. They both look up and smile at us but Kate looks worried when she sees how distressed Ana looks.

"Ana." She says jumping up making Ana cower into my side, I slowly wrap an arm around her and give a warning look to Kate who looks shocked if not horrified at Ana's reaction.

"Slow." I mouth hoping that Kate will understand, her weak nod and tiny step forward shows me that she does.

"Ana you ok babe?" She asks as Ana peeks from behind my back and nods. "You sure?" She nods again and Kate looks up at me, I can only shrug. "Can I hug you?" Kate asks her voice small now and uncertain, so unlike the Kate I've gotten to know. Slowly Ana pulls away from me before she wraps her arms tight around Kate who quickly returns the gesture. Over Ana's shoulder Kate glares her journalist face at me which tells me she wants answers and I know they're answers I couldn't possibly give.

After letting go of Kate Ana smiles over at Elliot but it's a weak attempt at a smile more than the dazzling pearly white's we're used to seeing.

Ana quickly then moves over to Amaya who's in a full size hospital bed. Mom changed her into some pyjamas earlier and wrapped her under one of the crotched blankets we have from her baby years and Ana quickly climbs beneath the blankets and pulls Amaya right to her chest before sobbing again.

Elliot looks at me and I give him a small nod and he thankfully gets up and takes a quietly protesting Kate out of the room. I sink into a chair beside the bed, watching my Ana with our baby girl and slowly Ana's sobs subside and her breathing evens out, I hope now she will get some decent sleep.