***WARNING*** may be a trigger as this story discusses Rape***Warning***

Ana

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." I wake to the howling sobs of my youngest child. They're hysterical and I look at her to see tears running down her cheeks, boogers coming from her nose but her eyes pierced shut.

"Amaya, Amaya baby you're ok, you're safe now." I whisper pulling her further into my arms against my chest, hoping she can feel my warmth.

Blue eyes spring open and widen. I swallow the lump in my throat as I see joy and relief flood my three year olds face. She's here. After so long without her, with her being lost, she's here and awake and she knows she's safe.

"Mommy!" She yells as she clings tightly to my pyjamas.

I rock her back and forth gently as tears of relief flood my eyes. I'm so glad she's back and she's safe. I don't know what happened to her yet, I don't know if she was hurt or anything but I pray to God that the worst Morton did was drug her. I can't bear the thought that he would have done anything more to her.

"I missed you, God I missed you." I whisper as I rock my baby in my arms, not caring about the tears running from my eyes straight into her short hair. Short hair… the bastard cut my darling's beautiful hair.

The door of the room opens and I freeze, terror gripping me. My breathe hitches in my throat and my body becomes paralyzed.

"Ana, it's just me." I hear whispered and I lift my head to see my darling husband who looks like he needs a good night sleep. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He says quietly still. I know he's feeling terrible guilt at the fact he did scare me but it wasn't his fault. My happy tears at the return of my daughter soon vanish and are replaced with sad, distraught tears. My whole life as I knew it is over, I'm scared at a door fucking open because one monster decided he was going to hurt my family.

"Christian." I hiccup as he makes his way slowly towards me, I know he's trying not to startle me further.

"She's awake." Christian smiles as Amaya removes her head from my chest and looks at her Daddy. I look down and see the smile on her face but it's hesitant and somehow I know it's because she can tell I'm upset.

"Go to Daddy Amaya." I encourage trying to pull myself together. I need to get a fucking grip.

Amaya reaches for Christian and he scoops her up quickly into his arms and holds her tight. I reach for him too, just like she did, needing his comfort and to be close to the two of them. He sits on the bed, puts Amaya on one leg before pulling me into his side where I begin to sob once more.

I don't want to cry like this. I don't want to sob hysterically and have no control over my thoughts and feelings but I can't help it. I want to go home, take my baby home and be with my family in a familiar environment. I want to forget everything that happened, move on quickly but I know in reality that isn't going to happen. It's going to be a long time before I can even consider putting all of this in the past.

"Christian, when can we go home?" I ask through my sobs. He looks down at me, those gorgeous grey eyes, looking so lost and so hurt.

"My mother has had Doctor Greene called to check you and the baby over." He says quietly. "Just to make sure everything is ok."

"Ok." I nod, Doctor Greene should be ok, I know her very well. "Then can we go home?" I beg quietly, I don't want to upset Amaya who's feeding off our emotions.

"They need to check Amaya over and we have to wait for her test results to come back." He tells me and I nod knowing that it's important we know that she's ok completely. "Ana there are some things you need to be aware of before we leave." He adds, capturing my complete attention. "The police have bought in a child advocate to speak to Amaya, they're going to want to know what happened to her. Anything she can tell them could help in their investigation."

"I understand." I nod, I know that will be very traumatising for our child but I know it also has to be done.

"Then they're going to want to talk to you, the police I mean." He says. Again I can only manage a nod. I knew that too, though I don't know how I'm going to get through it and tell them what happened. I don't want to have to go over it again and again even though I know it will be what happens. I am going to have to tell my story over and over and over again and I know it could break me piece by piece every time I have to rehash it all over again. Just telling Melissa was hard, she had to listen while I went over every horrible detail.

"I don't want you to ever have the details Christian." I choke. He looks at me, his eyes looking so lost and confused. "Please promise me you won't ever try and find out the details, I couldn't ever handle it."

"Ana…"

"No." I say quietly, blinking back the tears that have pooled in my eyes once again. "No Christian please don't make me have to tell you and don't ask other people. You don't need it in your head."

"Ok." He agrees though I know he won't stick to it.

"Would you please find out about Doctor Greene, I want a shower and I want to go home." I tell him, practically begging.

"I can do that, you take Amaya then." He tells me, already pushing our half sleeping baby over to me. I know it's the drugs that are causing that, having been sedated before myself I know the drugs can make a person woozy for a few hours, I can't imagine what it would do to a child as small as my baby girl.

Christian hurries out of the room. I know he wants to do everything he can to be in control and asking him to do something allows him a moment of that. I don't know what else I can do to help him right now. This is something he can't control, this is something he's just going to have to be on the ride for.

Christian

"Christian how is she?" Taylor asks as he walks with me towards Ana's room where she should have spent last night, I know the victim advocate is in there and can help guide me in the right direction with Ana's requests.

"I don't know Taylor." I tell him quietly. "She won't tell me." I admit, she won't tell me how she's feeling, she won't tell me what she's been through. I don't know how hard the near future is going to be for us.

"The shrink that John Flynn had flown over has arrived. She's hoping to talk to Ana sooner rather than later." Taylor says and I sigh sadly. I've already been told that Ana is not to speak to a psychiatrist until after she has given her statement, due to the fact that she could be unduly influenced. It's terrible because I know my Ana well enough to know she wants to begin working towards moving on, that's just how she is.

"Could you let her know we have to have Ana seen to by the police first and that will be done briefly at the house before Ana can give a full statement at the victims unit where they can record her speaking.

"I will do." He says before turning around, I know he knew I meant he was to do it this very moment.

I step into Ana's room and Melissa jumps from the chair where she was sitting, she looks at me and waits for me to speak, treating me as if I too was a victim.

"Ana is wanting to see her gynaecologist and have a shower so that she can go home." I inform her.

"Doctor Greene right? She's been in here." Melissa tells me. "I'd like a brief chat with Ana first, to see how she would like to proceed." She adds.

"Then follow me." I command, already turning on my heels to take the advocate to Amaya's room.