AN: after all these years, this story is now complete. It's going to take a while to upload as I've actually written it on my phone and this first one is a bit of a test to see how it works but who cares it's actually done at last. There are 70 chapters in total plus an epilogue! Thanks to everyone who has come back for a peek I hope it was worth it!

Ana

"Hello Ana, I'm Cathy and I'll be coming by for the next few days to do your ointments and keep an eye on your wounds is that ok?"

I stare at the older woman, a friendly but strange face that I've not seen before. I vaguely remember them saying at the hospital that someone would be coming by to help me with my wounds. She looks friendly but I don't know her and I don't want to be around people I don't know right now.

"Is Grace here?" I ask pushing myself up in the bed, trying to mask the intense pain I feel over my lower body while needing my mother in law in here too. She helped me at the hospital so naturally she's the person I trust to be here with me now.

"I don't know sweetie. Would you like her here with us?" She asks placing her bag on the bed and I nod, I want Grace here as an emotional support and a medic. "Ok, I'll go and see if I can find her ok?"

I watch as she leaves the room and quickly climb off the bed and head into the walk-in. I haven't seen my injuries yet, but I feel like I need to. I don't know yet if anyone has told Christian what exactly happened though I've made it clear what my wishes are. I don't want him to know until I am ready to tell him...if I'll ever be.

At the long mirror I turn around and remove my nightgown. It takes a moment for me to breathe deeply before I can look. I know my body won't look like my own anymore.

I immediately regret it. I expected welts. I did not expect deep welts where blood was drawn. I bite hard on my bottom lip as the tears fill my eyes. Holy cow. I remember back to when Christian used a belt on me but it didn't look anything like this!

"Ana?"

"Just a minute!" I shout back as I quickly grab a clean nightgown from the shelf and pull it over my head to cover myself up.

I feel the overwhelming need to breakdown over this but not right now, not in front of the nurse and preferably not in front of Grace either. She's seen me crying enough and I know that what has happened has shaken her to the core. I don't want to be the cause of more pain to my loved ones. I need to be strong for them now.

Grace

"Ok!" Ana's voice filters from the wardrobe and we step further into the bedroom while she comes to join us.

She looks like she's desperate to cry but is doing all she can to hold it together. My heart cracks in my chest, she looks like death. My gorgeous girl is a shell, a ghostly white shell with dark bags deep beneath her eyes and to think she's nearly out of the first trimester she doesn't even look pregnant and has lost weight.

"Ok Ana, so if we put a towel down on the bed and if you could lie on it so I can have a look and make sure there's no sign of any infection then we'll get the creams on. Is that ok?" Nurse Cathy asks softly Ana nods, she's responsive to Nurse Cathy which is great. What Ana doesn't know is that I personally requested her. She works with me in paediatrics and has done extensive training and has years of experience working with children who are victims of abuse, sexual and otherwise. Ana won't ever need to know that I went out of my way to secure Cathy for this but I needed to make sure it was the right person for Ana and Cathy was the only person I wanted.

Ana does as asked of her and lies down on the towel and Cathy and I don some gloves. Cathy gently pulls Ana's nightgown up and as the full extent of Ana's injuries are revealed to us I struggle to hold the gasp. I mean, I'd briefly seen them at the hospital but seeing them now is worse. They look so much worse, they're vicious and angry red marks and the cut skin is in the shape of a belt buckle. Bile rises in my throat.

Without saying anything Cathy meets my eye and I see the tears there, brimming at the edge. This is why I chose Cathy, she gets how important this is. I see her swallow and her eyes fall back to Ana's behind and thighs. Again, without a word she points at one of the wounds. I see what she's looking at and go in closer for a look. It's really hard to tell if there's an infection forming or if it's just swelling from the wound.

"Ana sweetheart, we're going to take a couple of swabs from your injuries to send to the lab to test for infection." Cathy explains going to Ana and meeting her eyes. Ana gives a small vocal response but it's timid and not a yes or a no.

I get the swabs out and I take the sample as Cathy writes the labels.

"Ok I'm now going to clean them and then put some of the ointment on ok?" Cathy says after bagging the samples.

Cathy and I work as quickly as we can. From the moment we touch the first wound Ana begins to sob and shout and from the corner of my eye I spot her grab the pillow and bring the corner to her mouth so she can bite down on it. I can't imagine how excruciating this is for her and it takes every ounce of strength from me to carry on because I know how important this is despite how much it hurts her.

"We're nearly done now Ana." Cathy reassures as we layer the ointment on as quickly as we possibly can.

As soon as we're done I rip my gloves off and throw them in the bin and go over to Ana's side. I crouch by the bed and run my fingers through her hair as she sobs harshly. It devastates me to see such pain on Ana's face and to hear her cries.

"There there sweetie, all done." I coo softly though how I'm managing to get a word out through the lump in my throat I don't know.

I see Cathy slowly putting things away through the corner of my eye. I know she won't leave without speaking to Ana but I'm grateful she's letting me do the reassuring right now because I think I need to do it as much as Ana needs the comfort and the familiarity. She asked me to be here after all.

When Ana's sobs subside Cathy gently brings her nightgown down over her behind. She needed to let some air get to it to soothe the sting and that's the only reason she didn't do it sooner.

"Ok Ana. That's all done now. I have some pain killers here for you." Cathy says gently.

"I'll need to stand to take them." Ana whispers to me and I nod, understanding that being on her behind at all for even a moment, is extremely painful right now and she's probably in a significant amount of pain right now.

Cathy and I both help Ana to her feet and I fetch a glass of water. I hear Ana and Cathy though as I make my way to the bathroom.

"Thank you." Ana whispers.

"You have nothing to thank me for. I'm sorry that I'm causing you so much pain." Cathy replies softly.

"It isn't your doing." Ana replies. "How badly am I going to scar?"

I open the tap so I don't hear how Cathy chooses to answer. I know this isn't vanity that's causing the question though. Ana doesn't want Christian to know but one day he is likely to see the scars and that's why worries Ana.

There will be some significant scarring. Especially where the belt has drawn blood and broken through the skin. Those wounds are particularly deep while not being deep enough to require stitching they will scar badly, she's lucky not to have needed a graft, if the wounds had been closer together she would have.

I bring Ana a glass of water and she quickly takes the pills before Cathy gives her a once over, checking her blood pressure and her temperature more than anything to rule out any other signs of infection.

"I'll have the results for the bloods with me when I come back tomorrow." Cathy says gently.

"Thank you." Ana and I both say as Cathy grabs her bag and with a simple nod of her head she leaves me and my daughter in law alone.

"Now how about I get you something to eat?" I ask hoping to give Ana some sense of normality.

"I'm not hungry." She replies going over to the French doors that leads out to the balcony and surprising me by pulling back the curtains and opening the doors wide.

"Ana, sweetie, you need to eat. If not for you for that baby growing inside you." I tell her gently, it's not nice to have to use her unborn child like this but it's true, she has barely eaten a thing in the couple of days she's been home and she really needs to.

"Grace..." she manages but then she becomes choked up again and struggles against the tears that threaten to spill.

"Melissa should be here, should I go and find her and she can come sit with you while I make you something light?" I'm not going to take no for an answer when it comes to the food. She needs to eat something even if it's the smallest little nibble.

"Ok." She replies and I am quietly thankful that she's willing to give me something.

Melissa Daniels

I spy the nurse leaving and hope that I will be able to go to Ana soon. I need to talk to her about the fact that tomorrow we will have to go to the victim suite downtown to do a full victim statement so that they can arraign the son of a bitch that hurt her.

It's one of the hardest parts of this journey. The full victim statement can often become an interrogation though my job is to continuously bring it back to a simple QA and ensure that the victim, in this case Ana, doesn't feel attacked by the police and that she knows they are on her side.

I've had little news about how the investigation is progressing but they tend to keep me at arms length until the victim statement is done so that I can't inadvertently coerce the victim.

"Melissa." I look up to see a very tired Doctor Trevelyan in the doorway of the lounge. "Ana will see you now."

"How is she?" I ask knowing I'll get a decent answer from Grace before I see Ana than I will from Ana herself.

"Uhh, not good." Grace sighs. "She's not coping and I don't know what I can say or do to help her to be honest."

"That's what I'm here for Grace. You don't need to know what to say just be there for her. She'll appreciate that more than anything."

"She still doesn't want Christian to know what happened and he's going out of his mind not knowing." Grace looks devastated as she speaks and my heart breaks for her.

"Well... I am all about respecting the wishes of the victim." I say quietly. "But if you think it's for the best Christian knows..."

"No." Grace becomes very firm with me. "I won't go against Ana's wishes. Whatever her reasons for not telling Christian that is her wishes and we will respect that."

I smile sympathetically towards Grace. As Christian's mother naturally she wants to do what best for him but she absolutely understands that it needs to be Ana's decision.

"She's been betrayed enough in this world. She doesn't need to feel as though one of us has betrayed her too." I nod in agreement because it's all I can do. She's right and it's why I'm normally so strict on respecting the victims wishes but it's very rare to face circumstances like this, where someone has suffered a brutal attack and can't bring themselves to tell their spouse. "I'm going to make her something to eat if you want to go up."

"She's eating?" I'm surprised at this because yesterday she didn't eat a thing.

"No but I'm no longer taking no for an answer." Grace replies and I laugh softly, maybe Grace's firm hand will be the push Ana needs.

Christian

As I watch the twins playing away with Gail I can't help but wonder what I can do to try and make this better. I spoke with John at length and he keeps reminding me I can't fix this and I just need to be here for my family. However I don't know how to be there for them. Amaya is coping extremely well and her priority is being close with Amelia again which is of no surprise. I've organised for her to be seen by a child psychologist and I think that will be enough for her but my wife, my Ana on the other hand...

She doesn't want me to know what happened to her. I don't think she even knows yet that I know she was raped by Morton. How can I support her and be there for her if she won't speak to me or let others tell me of the horrible details so I can help. She's my wife, she showed me how to care and how to love and now when she needs that care and love the most she won't let me in.

I've been asked to sleep in the guest room which is fine by me but she barely spoke to me when I visited and when I tried to broach the subject of Morton she shit me right down. I just wish she'd told me about him before. There was no need for her to hide the fact he once threatened her with a belt. If anything it makes me understand even more why she pushed me to do it that time eleven years ago. Someone threatened her and scared her and the masochistic part of her brain decided to find out what it was like from someone she trusted but of course she couldn't handle the sadist I thought was in me.

Jesus Christ I just wish she'd let me in. We could have been watching this bastard and he'd have never got Amaya and he'd have never got to Ana. Jason is flipping his shit that Barney and Welch didn't have more on this bastard than the fact he was Carla's former husband especially as she made a police report against him in Vegas when they were married.

We should have been watching.

"Daddy." Amaya stands in front of me her arms reaching for me and I scoop her up and as she buries her face in my neck I just thank the Lord I got them both back. I don't know what I'd have done if I'd lost either her or her mother.