(The Critic in the Cabernet)

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I don't own Bones.

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"I've been thinking about having a baby." Brennan flipped through her magazine until she found the article she wanted to read, 'Inhabiting Ocular Ground: 'Kinshasa's Future in the Light of Congo's Spectral Urban Politics'.

Shocked would have been an understatement if anyone had asked Booth how he had reacted to her statement at that moment. "Um . . . a baby?"

"Yes, I think I'm ready and I know you would like another child." She paused and placed her magazine on her lap. "You are still interested in having a baby, aren't you?"

"Um . . . yeah." Booth was starting to feel foolish. His mind didn't seem to want to get past the shock of her first statement. "If you want to . . . you really want to have a baby?" He wasn't sure what was going on, but he hoped she was serious. "I mean having a kid with you would be great . . . fantastic." He left his bowl on chili on the table and walked over to where Brennan was sitting. As he sat down, he tried to tamp down some of his growing enthusiasm. "Did you mean like now or in the future? I want to be on the same page as you are."

Puzzled, Brennan glanced at her magazine and realized that Booth was not referring to a real magazine or book. "I mean now. I have thought about it. We plan to buy a house together and that means we will have room to take care of a baby. We do have the guest bedroom here, but I am certain Parker wouldn't care to share a room with a baby."

"No . . . he really wouldn't like that." Booth could imagine Parker would be a very unhappy little boy if he had to share a room with a crying baby. "When we look for our house I guess we'll need at least three bedrooms."

"Four bedrooms." Brennan felt that Booth wasn't being practical. "We should make a list of our needs when we search for the house. Clearly we need a master bedroom for us, a bedroom for Parker, a bedroom for our future progeny and of course we need a guest bedroom for Hank or Max when they choose to stay with us. If we purchase a two-story house we will have to look for one with a bedroom downstairs. It would be dangerous to ask Hank to climb stairs . . . We'll need a kitchen of course."

"Of course." Booth was amused. This was starting to sound like a long 'I want' list and a very expensive one too. "A living room."

Brennan stood up and walked over to her laptop resting on the dining room table. Quickly signing on, she started to make a list. "A den for you for your sports memorabilia and the television."

Getting caught up in the excitement, Booth moved over to the table and sat down next to Brennan. "You need an anthropology cave."

"Yes." Brennan wrote that down and added a garage. "A spacious backyard. The front yard doesn't need to be very big. Most socializing is done in the backyards of most of homes . . . a laundry room would be convenient as would a garage. If we have a garage, you can stop renting your storage unit and keep your mustang there."

"Don't forget bathrooms." Booth had meant that to be funny, but Brennan of course took it very seriously.

She quickly wrote 2 ½ baths. "We'll need a master bath and a bathroom for the children and a bathroom downstairs. I think a half bath downstairs would be alright. We could convert it later and include a small shower with a seat. That way Hank will be safe when he bathes."

Booth looked at the list and sighed. "We can't afford that. We're talking about a pretty big house there. You know housing prices are ridiculous around here."

Brennan didn't see a problem. "I have more than enough money to buy a house for the both of us."

Alarmed at the suggestion, Booth shook his head. "When talked about it we agreed we'd look for a house that I could help pay for. I don't want you to pay for a house by yourself. I've been saving the money I used to pay for rent. I have a nice nest egg right now, but it's not enough."

Aware that Booth's alpha pride was coming into play, she sighed and turned to stare at him. "Booth . . . Booth I know you want to pay for part of the house, but that may not be possible. Not if we want to buy a house that fits our needs. We can look in Maryland and Virginia. We don't have to have a house in the District, but even then, houses are going to be very expensive."

He knew she was right, but he just couldn't let her pay for the house by herself. His father had been a useless drunk and he had grown up in a very poor housing area in Philadelphia. The house they had lived in was rented and should have been condemned and not rented to the Booth family. He didn't want to be like his father, good for nothing and unable to provide for his family. Running his hand through his hair, he tried to think of a way he could afford to help pay for a house and he knew he couldn't do it. At least not the house Brennan wanted to buy. He had so many obligations his money was always tight. Parker's child support and college fund took a big bite out of his paycheck. He also helped pay for Hank's house repairs when they were needed and the house was old and it needed it all the time. Like everyone else he had bills and they had to be paid on top of his obligations.

"Booth, we don't have to move. We can stay here." He was too quiet and Brennan knew he was internalizing the situation too much. His pride was fighting with him and she didn't want to see him angry or upset over this situation. It wasn't necessary. They had plenty of time to do the things they wanted to do. "I'm not pregnant and we can wait until you have saved a bigger down payment to help me pay for a house." She thought it was ridiculous that he couldn't let her pay for a house, but she wasn't going pursue it if it caused a rift between them. It wasn't worth it to her. "We'll just stay here and plan for a baby later."

Her words had broken through to him and he realized that she was giving him a way to salvage his pride, but the price was steep, too steep. "No Bones, I'm sorry. Here I am trying not to be my Dad and that's exactly who I am."

"What?" She was confused and she didn't like what she was hearing. "You are not your father."

"But I am, Bones." He was embarrassed, but he knew he needed to explain. "My mother was a jingle writer for a while. She was pretty good and she started to make good money. More than my Dad made. She tried to fix some of the things wrong with the house we were living in because she knew the landlord wouldn't do it and neither would my Dad . . . At first he didn't seem to notice, but eventually he did and he . . . he beat her and threatened her and he told her she couldn't write any more jingles. He forced her to quit her job because he was the breadwinner . . . Bones I would never keep you from having anything you want. You want a house and you want a baby . . . I have no right to keep you from having those things because I don't have the money. You . . ."

She had heard enough. "Booth, you aren't depriving me of anything. I didn't say we would never have a house. I said we could wait until you've saved more money to help with the purchase."

He knew she was trying to make it easy for him and he didn't want her to. "No, we can't. This is a partnership. You and I make decisions about stuff like that. I'm not my father. I'm not . . . We're going to look for a house and you can pay for it, but you have to use the money I've saved so far to help pay for it. Maybe I can pay the utilities and the upkeep of the house, something that makes me part of the deal . . . I want you to buy the house Bones. I do and we can try to expand our family, get you that baby we both want."

"We are partners, Booth." Brennan knew that Booth was a very proud man, but he also was a fair man or at least he tried to be. "It never crossed my mind that you were trying to deprive me of anything because I know that isn't who you are . . . You are not your father and I am not your mother."

Booth leaned over and kissed her. "I over reacted. I do that sometimes . . . we'll start looking tomorrow. I still think we'll have to look outside the city, but that's okay. If we want that big backyard then we'll have to look at the suburbs."

"That's fine." And it was fine. "I'm still taking birth control, but I can stop tomorrow."

"Alright." Booth stood up and pointed towards the bedroom. "Want to practice baby making?"

Amused, Brennan chuckled. "I think we get enough practice as it is, but then again I do love sex."

"Yeah, I know." Booth moved towards the bedroom. "Me too."

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It happened so fast. One minute Booth was calm and talking to their murder suspect and the next minute he was arguing about houses and babies with an invisible person across the table from where he sat. Brennan wasn't sure if Booth was trying to argue that he wasn't his father and he would never allow his pride to ruin the good things in his life or if he was just arguing that he wasn't his father and he wouldn't let the invisible person say he was. Either way, the conversation was very disturbing to both her and the murder suspect.

Once she got Booth out of the interview room and she found out he had been arguing with a cartoon character she knew that Booth was in serious trouble. Afraid for him, she told Booth that they had to go to the hospital because something was wrong with him. At first he had balked, but the look of fear on his girlfriend's face made him realize that perhaps she was right. After they reached the hospital and a neurologist had seen Booth, he ordered a CAT scan done and the diagnoses was grim. It was possible Booth had a cerebellar pilocytic astrocytoma and they needed to remove it as soon as possible.

Before she had entered Booth's room, Brennan had arranged to observe the operation with her boyfriend's surgeon. She wasn't sure what purpose that would serve, but she knew it had to be done. For her peace of mind as well as Booth's.

Brennan had never been so afraid in her life. The man she loved, the one person in the world that tried to understand her no matter how complex the situation was and who loved her unconditionally was in trouble and it was possible she could lose him. She knew she had to be calm for both of them, but it was so hard to do. Booth hated doctors and he didn't trust them. His experiences at Walter Reed when he was a young man made him wary of most specialists. Since he didn't understand most of the things they said to him, he trusted his partner to interpret medical jargon for him whenever he had contact with them.

He was an intelligent man, but he felt that most physicians hid behind the science instead of talking in plain simple terms. "What does it mean, Bones. A brain tumor, right? Do you think it's malignant?" The thought of dying before he got to become a father with Brennan was almost more than he could bear. He had dreamed of being a father again and now that she was ready he wasn't and he was so damn angry. "This isn't fair Bones. We just decided to become parents and now this . . ."

She knew he was upset and she needed to calm him down. He needed to go into surgery in a positive mood. It was imperative that he thought he would survive. "Booth, chances are it isn't malignant, but it does have to be removed. We can't let it to continue to grow inside your skull . . . once the surgery is done it will take some time to recover, but once you are well again, we can try to have a baby. That doesn't have to change. Nothing has to change if we don't want it to." She felt she was being too optimistic, but she didn't have a choice. Booth had to see that there was hope and he needed it as well as she did.

Booth's experience in hospitals colored his thoughts, but he knew that it was time to calm down. Not for himself, but for Brennan. If this was his last few moments with her, he wanted those moments to be calm and he wanted her to remember him as being brave. He didn't want her to think he was a coward. "No, you're right. When this is done, we can make a baby and we can get our house . . . our house, Bones. Our baby . . . we're going to . . . it's going to be alright."

"Yes." She kissed him and he responded by placing his hand behind her head and kissing her deeply and passionately. It was a strange place to show such public displays of affection, but he knew that he might never get to kiss her again. He wanted to be positive and he wanted to believe he was going to survive this, but if he didn't Booth wanted Brennan to remember that he loved her. "I have a will . . . it's in my desk at work in an envelope marked 'Will'. I wrote it after the Gravedigger kidnapped me and you rescued me. I have a savings account for Parker. It's for his college fund. I left you everything else. Don't just throw my sports stuff away. Get someone to look at it. Some of it is valuable and my mustang . . ."

She didn't want to talk about wills. "Booth, you don't need to tell me about your will. You're going to be fine."

He hoped she was right, but he had wanted to make sure she knew that he had thought of her and he wanted to protect her. "Sure, I know." She looked so sad and he knew that he did too. "You remember that I love you. I'll always love you."

"I will." Brennan watched as two orderlies came into the room and prepared to move Booth to the operating room. He was trying to appear brave, but she saw the nervous tick in his cheek and she knew he was remembering past surgeries. "This time is different Booth. When you were in Walter Reed you were alone. I know your grandfather came to visit you when he could, but you didn't really have anyone else. You do now. I'll be waiting for you and I'll see you after the surgery."

Grateful that he had someone like Brennan in his life. Booth smiled. "I belong to you and you belong to me."

"Yes." Too soon for both of them, the orderlies wheeled Booth out of the room and Brennan followed them until they entered a room she wasn't allowed to enter. The next time she saw her partner, he would be lying on an operating table. She knew she had to set her emotions aside and face the situation with a detached attitude. Booth needed her medical skills put to good use for him and she would do that. She would try to protect him like he would do for her.

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