(The Critic in the Cabernet)
I don't own Bones.
Oooooooooooooooo
For four days, Booth lay in a coma. After consulting with the neurologist and the anesthesiologist, Brennan knew that Booth's sensitivity to anesthesia was probably what was keeping him asleep. The longer he was in the coma, the more dangerous the situation would become and that worried her a lot. After sitting in the room with him for a few miserable hours, afraid that she would lose him, Brennan decided to write a story for her boyfriend. The story would only be for him and it would be a story she had never tried to write before.
So far, all of the stories she had written and published were murder mysteries centering around Kathy and Andy. This story was going to be different. It was going to be a love story for her mate. She wanted to tell him a story about her love for him and how he made her life so much more interesting and fulfilled. She had been so lonely before she had met Booth. She had had one friend, Angela at the time and that made her world a lonely and isolated place. He had changed that for her. She had discovered that it was possible to love someone and not fear that they would walk away from her. He had showed her that love was real and not just chemicals.
She hadn't really known what her story was going to be about when she started, but as she wrote it, she realized that it would be a murder mystery after all because that was part of who they were. Her story was going to be the anchor between reality and the dream world Booth was in now. She knew from experience he would be able to hear her even if he couldn't respond. At that moment, it didn't matter if he couldn't talk to her or not. She could talk to him. He needed to know that he wasn't alone. Booth needed to know he was loved and he needed to awaken and come back to her.
The story started out as a simple story. She had wanted to make their story exciting and different from real life and yet recognizable to him. He needed to recognize himself in the story and of course he had to connect to her. That was the point of the story. As she wrote word after word, line after line, she read it out loud to her lover.
Brennan was never alone in the four days that Booth was in his coma, but she paid little attention to what was going on around her unless it had to do with Booth's care. Someone would bring her food and she would pause to eat. Someone would insist that she nap for a bit and lead her to a cot across the room. Her laptop resting on the floor beneath her, she would doze just enough to refresh herself then she would retrieve her lap top and begin to write again. For three and half days she wrote her story and then amazingly it was done. Hopeful that Booth would awaken when the story finished, that hope was dashed when he continued to sleep.
Exhausted, she moved her cot closer to Booth's bed, laid down and rested. She knew that once she was a chance to sleep, she would read the story to her man once more. She would read it straight through and he would see that he needed to come back to her. She would not accept any other scenario any other outcome.
As she slept, Booth started his journey back to the real world. His world had been filled with an odd dream being narrated by Brennan's confident voice and he missed her voice so much. He missed the world she had woven for him and he wanted to know why she had stopped. The first time he opened his eyes, he looked around and whispered her name, but she didn't answer. His eyelids heavy, he closed them and went back to sleep. The second time he awoke, he recognized that he was in a hospital. Cam was dozing on a chair in the corner of the room, but he didn't see his partner. Disappointed, he closed his eyes once more and whispered her name as he fell back to sleep. The third time, he awoke, he found Brennan leaning over him and he smiled. "Bones."
Her heart beating rapidly, Brennan cried tears of joy as she hugged his body, careful not to interfere with the tubes attached to his arm or the air tube around his head that helped him breathe easier. He raised his arm and patted her lower arm, trying to comfort her. "Hey, I told you I wouldn't leave you." His voice was rusty, but she understood him.
"No, I know you wouldn't." She kissed him and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You've been asleep for four days. You are very sensitive to anesthesia."
The sad look on her face made him feel bad for her and he knew that she must have been very worried when he didn't wake up after the surgery. "Yeah . . . did they get it out?"
"Yes, the tumor was removed successfully." She was glad she had such good news for him. "It was benign."
"Are you okay?" He glanced at her stomach and frowned. "Is the baby okay?"
A little stunned, Brennan shook her head and leaned closer to her lover. "Booth I'm not pregnant. We talked about it before your surgery, but I'm not pregnant."
He was confused and he wasn't sure he believed what she was saying. "But you told me you're pregnant."
"No, I didn't Booth." She tried to understand what was going on and his next words pulled it all in to place.
"But you told me that you're pregnant. Sure, we've been married for a while and it looked like we might never have a kid, but that's all changed. You told me we're going to have a baby."
She knew he was confused and it was her fault. The story she had written for him had been about their being married and she had been pregnant in the story. It seemed cruel to destroy his dream, but he had to know that it wasn't real. "No, Booth. That was a story I wrote for you. We're not going to have a baby, at least not right now . . . we aren't married Booth. It was just a story."
His confusion grew and he didn't understand why she was telling him what she was telling him. Was she that upset with him? He hadn't meant to sleep so long. Why would she tell him she was pregnant and then say she wasn't? It didn't seem to make sense.
"It was just a dream, Booth." She saw the tear slide down his face and she knew he was upset, but how could she tell him a lie? He had to know the truth. "We live together. We're in a monogamous relationship and yes, we plan to have a baby once you are well, but I'm not pregnant right now. It was just the story I wrote for you while you slept."
"We're not married?" His happiness seemed to be collapsing around him and he didn't understand why. "We're . . . you're not pregnant?"
She placed her hand on the side of his face and stared into his sad face. "No, we aren't married." She watched him nod his head and close his eyes. "Booth, it's alright. I promise. You're just remembering a dream." He didn't respond and that worried her. He refused to open his eyes and look at her and she wasn't sure what she could do to fix the problem. Why did I write that story? Why?
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo
He wasn't sure why he was so sad. His surgery was a success and according to Brennan he would be able to go home soon. She had been by his bedside while he had slept and he knew that she would have made sure he was well taken care of, but he felt so sad, so unhappy. It was as if he was in mourning. The dream had been so real to him and he had been so happy there. He had been married to the woman he loved and she was going to have his baby, but reality was a different story. They were living together and that was great, but now he was mourning for the loss of a child that wasn't real and for a marriage that never happened.
She worried that he was so quiet. Booth was a vocal patient whenever he was sick or hurt. He constantly complained about constraints, but this time was different. He was quiet and merely responded when asked questions. He didn't ask questions of his own nor did he complain about anything. Brennan wasn't the only one that noticed.
"Booth, Dr. Brennan says you're going home today or tomorrow." Cam took in his gaunt face, the lost weight and wondered if he was eating. "How long will you be off work?"
"I don't know." Booth stared at the game on television, but he only did that to avoid looking at his friend. He wasn't interested in the game. He really wasn't interested in anything.
His apathy was worrisome and Cam wondered if her friend was depressed. It was normal for a patient to go through bouts of depression after major surgery and sometimes they needed chemical help to get through it. Checking his medical charts, she found he wasn't taking an anti-depressant and she thought that was a mistake. She was definitely going to talk to Brennan about it as soon as she could. "Agent Harris is a very good agent, but I really would like you to return as soon as possible. You know everyone at the Lab isn't very good when it comes to change and working with Harris is bringing out the surliness in Hodgins. For a man of science, he doesn't take change very well." She had thought Booth would be flattered or amused, but he didn't respond in any way. "Michelle sends you her love. She wanted to come see you, but she has a cold and we both felt it would be better not to expose you to it."
"Thanks." He appreciated Michelle's thoughtfulness. The child had grown on him since Cam had adopted her and he had started to think of her as his niece. The girl had no one in the world besides Cam and a distant cousin and he knew what that felt like. "I hope she gets better soon."
"Thank you." Clutching his hand, Cam sighed as he continued to avoid looking at her. "What's wrong, Booth? You're doing so well. Your neurologist doesn't think the tumor will affect your abilities or your memory. You might find a few changes in your life, but they should be minor."
His memory was the problem, but he knew he couldn't really expect her to understand. He had been confused when he woke up and for the last two weeks, he had tried to forget the dream world he had lived in for such a short while. That world had been wonderful and he wanted that life back, but he knew that was impossible. It was just a story written for him by his partner. She had written it to connect him to the real world, but she hadn't counted on that world being such a powerful draw to him. The life he had now was wonderful. He had more than he had ever thought he would have. Brennan loved him and he loved her, but that magical world had shown him a world where he could be happy all of the time. In that world, he hadn't had a monster for a father, a mother that had abandoned him. He hadn't been captured as a young man by the Republican Guard and tortured and badly injured. His life had been interesting, but not terrifying. Reality was back and that dream world wasn't his. It would never be his and that made him so damn sad.
Booths' silence was unnerving and Cam was grateful when Brennan returned. She had gone home to do some laundry, pick up her mail, bathe and sleep for a few hours. She had needed that respite and she appreciated Cam's offer to watch over Booth while she was gone. Cam was such a good friend to Booth and she knew that the coroner loved him. Her lover didn't have many people in his life that cared about him and Brennan had come to accept that Cam's friendship was a good thing. "Thank you for staying." Brennan leaned over and kissed Booth who finally looked away from the television. "I ran into your surgeon and he plans on releasing you this afternoon. I brought you a change of clothes, so you can change whenever you like."
Her kindness made him smile. "Thank you." Slowly, he sat up and waited for a wave of dizziness to pass. He had to be careful when he stood up to make sure he was stable enough to move and not fall flat on his face. One of the side effects of his surgery that his surgeon had said would pass.
Cam took her cue and left. "I'll come visit you, Booth."
With Brennan's help, Booth pulled on his pants and shirt and she insisted he sit down while she placed his socks on his feet. Once he was clothed in street clothes, he laid back down and stared at his partner. "Thank you . . . Did you have a lot of mail?"
Surprised that Booth had actually asked her a question, Brennan smiled. "I had a ridiculous pile of mail and so do you. I didn't see anything critical in my mail. I didn't open your mail so you will have to check when you get back home."
"Alright." Booth turned off the television and focused on Brennan. "Bones . . . Thank you for taking care of me. I know I've been kind of a . . . I love my life with you. I really do. That dream world was just that . . . a dream. I know that. Our life is good together, it really is and I don't want you to think . . . it doesn't matter if we aren't married. We're together and that's all I've wanted . . . As for the baby, we'll have a baby someday . . . someday. I love you. I love you not some figment of a dream. I love what we have together . . . okay?"
Her throat felt tight and she didn't trust herself to say anything. She had been worried that Booth was so in love with the dream world that he had experienced in his coma and that he would try to force the issue of marriage. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she motioned for him to move over a little bit and she lay down next to him. "I love you too, Booth."
He placed his arm around her and he stared at the side of her face. "You belong to me and I belong to you. I don't need a fairy world to live in, Bones. Not if I have you with me." He would forget about that happy dream world. A man like him could never live in such a world anyway. It wasn't what he was meant for or deserved and he accepted that. He was lucky to have what he had and he wouldn't destroy it for something that wasn't real.
Ooooooooooooooooo
Let me know what you think of my story. Thank you.