This love of mine goes on and on
Tho' life is empty since you have gone
You're always on my mind, tho' out of sight
It's lonesome through the day
But oh the night
I cry my heart out
It's bound to break
Since nothing matters, let it break
I ask the sun and the moon
The stars that shine
What's to become of it, this love of mine
Frank Sinatra - This love of mine
The canary's song
"Hi… You know…I never realized there were so many stars.
There aren't. That's my very expensive scotch talking.
Ohh… What's mine is mine…Render unto Caesar, you know… And all that.
Loker's earned his stripes finally.
The FBI…they won't be back.
That scotch was a gift from a very grateful client.
Johnny Wheels was a client?
You've had a good day, haven't you?
And you're gonna thank me for it… You're gonna say thank you and…I'm gonna stand here until you do.
Hmm? I'm waiting.
Thank you…for cleaning up my mess. Gillian.
I can't wait until tomorrow.
Why? What's tomorrow?
I get better looking every day."
It felt like taking a deep breath after being trapped underwater for too long. There they were standing in front of each other, stripped of any masks they put on to hide their feelings. This was the last straw, the last thing she needed from him to fully forgive him, to let them move on. Together. He thought about her last words. If only she knew how true they were.
She leaned into him again, pressing her cheek against his and he pulled her closer. She patted his helmet.
"You stole that?" she asked against his cheek.
"What's mine is mine." came his sly reply.
"Hmm." she chuckled.
"You smell like the underground." she cringed but refused to pull away from him.
"Where I came from, Gillian," he smirked.
Next Sinatra song started echoing through the hallways. The romantic sound of it making its way outside to where they were standing. Her hand slid down his arm and he let go of the grip around her waist, understanding her intentions. Their hands met in a gentle hold and they began swaying to the music. The dance a lot more sensual than the one in the museum, they've always been a lot more affectionate than they led on. The pair lost track of time as songs continued to play one after another.
"Let's get you home, darling." he nuzzled her cheek. It was a chilly spring night and she was barefoot.
"One more…please." her voice was low, and she lifted her head that was resting against his just enough to look at him.
He had to swallow upon seeing her dilated pupils staring at him and feeling her body pressed against his, the way it hasn't been in a long time. However, this time felt different than any time before. The embrace they held each other in also felt like it held a promise. A promise to let go, to not fight it anymore because it will break them one way or another.
Of course, he let her have one more dance. The guilt of seeing her not in full control of her actions due to his almost empty scotch bottle, knowing he's the one who pushed her to this level was tearing him apart.
As if she knew what he was thinking she whispered. "I'm okay..." he responded by pulling her even closer.
Silence took over the room as the cd seemed to come to an end. Cal's head turned to his shoulder where hers was resting and she inched closer to his face. Their lips almost touching each other. The only sound that was heard now was their shallow breathing of the air they shared. She rubbed her lips against his, but he just stood there trying to regain control knowing he is the one who's supposed to be the sensible one for once. So, he placed a soft peck against her lips and trailed his way up her cheek all the way to her temple ending with a kiss against her forehead.
"Mmm" she moaned in his arms.
He tried pulling away from her. It was getting late he wanted to take her home, make sure she's safe. She seemed so vulnerable sharing so many emotions she'd normally keep hidden. He felt like he was taking advantage of her. The thought of it making him sick to his stomach.
"Come on, darling." the buzz was beginning to wear off. "Let's get your shoes…" he trailed off picking up her shoes.
She just stood there immediately missing the feeling of his warm body pressed against hers. He saw her shiver and he pulled her by the hands leading her inside where he held her in place as she slipped her shoes back on. Upon seeing her dozing on Gillian's office sofa, they remembered that Ria was still there. Hoping she was as soundly asleep as she appeared, they exchanged questioning looks.
"I mean…she has the key." pointed out Gillian. A cheeky grin playing on her face that mirrored his.
"Love when we're on the same page." he exhaled as he rushed her along the corridors supporting her weight and she chuckled in reply. Turning the light on his helmet back on so they wouldn't trip in the dark. "See, love? Thought it might come handy."
The car ride was spent in silence. Radio's volume so low they could barely make out the lyrics of the songs that played. Cal touched her arm every now and then to make sure she was still okay. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to go wrong but he thought she looked so fragile in his passenger seat. Her eyes were beginning to close and it wasn't long until she dozed off, a content smile on her lips unmatched by the ever so slightly furrowed brow that indicated pain. Something that could only be noticed by him.
"Gill…" she opened her eyes to Cal hovering over her, unbuckling her seat belt. "We're here." he helped her out of the car.
"Thanks, honey." the words flew out of her mouth before she could think. She bit her bottom lip, all of a sudden feeling more sober than she remembered. A wave of exhaustion washed over her, and she stumbled on her feet only to be caught by Cal who was holding back a smile that her last words caused.
It took her a few moments to register she wasn't actually standing in front of her house.
"You said you'd take me home," she whined but let him lead her in any way.
"I did, love," he said locking the door behind them.
"I don't want Emily to see…" her voice anxious and feet were frozen to the ground by the realization that Cal's teenage daughter could see her in such state.
"Shh, she's with her mum…" he whispered feeling bad for her, since she had nothing to be embarrassed about.
He helped her up the stairs and led her to the spare room even though she knows her way around perfectly well. It was surprisingly hard for the two of them to tear away from each other that night. She sighed as her head hit the pillow and she nuzzled her face into it. It smelled like his home which had a very calming effect on her.
"I'm pretty sure I left some clothes here on purpose," she said groggily.
"I'll go get them…" he chuckled letting go of her hand.
She insisted on feeling good enough to take a quick shower, so he let her. In the meantime, he sat on the bed waiting for her overwhelmed by the situation. She came back looking more like herself and he smiled at her.
"Alright, darling?" concern in his voice over her disrupted features.
"Just really tired." she nodded slumping down on the bed again.
"You know where to find me, love." his voice soft as he began moving away from her.
He felt a hand grab his wrist and he turned around to see a pair of big blue teary eyes staring at him. That's what he saw on her face earlier, he thought.
"Don't go…" her voice shaky.
"Oh, come here, darling…" he mentally cursed himself for not seeing it coming sooner.
He pulled her in for a hug. They were holding onto each other in an awkward half-sitting position as more tears rolled down her cheeks. These weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of relief. The liquor brought down her guards, but it didn't bring emotional release that she was seeking. He felt guilt wash over him all over again for pushing her too far. Being a child of an alcoholic made her relationship with alcohol a tricky one, but she handled it well. He knew she'll feel guilty in the morning once the embarrassment of the previous night hits her, though.
"Mmm stay, Cal" she pleaded.
"Ok." he sighed thinking whether it was a good idea for them to fall asleep tangled up in each other.
"Just one night…" came her silent voice again.
He knew what she meant. They'd allow themselves this one night because they're not ready to take the next step yet so there's no knowing when will be the next time they'll be spending a night together like this. Both of them hoping it will come soon as they drifted off to sleep allowing themselves to hold each other even if only for the night.
Thank you for all the lovely reviews! This chapter was really hard to write for some reason, I'm not sure if I did that beautiful ending scene justice but this is what I came up with considering the following episodes:)