Emma could not have ever been happier to be out of a car. She didn't care too much about not being able to drive, she wasn't that much of a control freak, in fact she preferred not having to drive.
What she hated about that otherwise pleasant car ride was the car seat she had been strapped into. She did not enjoy her ride in the car seat for very obvious reasons; namely that it was a goddamn baby's car seat and she had been strapped into it. It wasn't just any car seat it was one which was clearly one made for young babies, it had been bought for her soon to be sibling, which made her hate it even more.
She let out a grumble under her breath as she was freed from her restraint only to be carried across the parking lot. Emma felt a glimmer of hope when David and Snow stated that the monstrous car seat was not the best, she thought that they got why it had caused Emma so much frustration, but they simply stated that it was nearly too small for her.
Emma felt a wave of anger fall over her. She could feel the urge, the overwhelming urge, to lose her temper, to stamp her foot or to ball her fists, the pure shock of those feelings quenched her anger like water flooding fire.
She was being held by David as they entered the big box store, a sort of babies'r'us style store Emma had seen a few times, only now it looked massive, it was one thing the loft being big, but she hadn't paid much attention to the hospital the day before, so this was the first place she had gone to and it looked massive, bigger than any place she could remember going.
She was still looking around, a little disorientated even while in Snow's arms,when David appeared back at their side, he was holding onto a slightly discoloured teal cart.
David shot his usual, easy, charming smile at Snow and Emma. "You want a ride, kid?"
Emma bristled ever so slightly at the nickname 'kid', she had to remind herself that David had been calling her some variation on that since she had known him as him, it wasn't a hit at her new size. She realised that he was waiting for an answer. She shook her head.
"I can keep carrying you?" Worry edged into Snow's voice. "It's going to be a long walk…"
"'M okay." Emma mumbled before realising it wouldn't cut it. "I'm not tired. I can do it."
"Okay." David said, maintaining his easy smile.
Emma wasn't sure that it was going to cut it for Snow, she had taken a breath in to try and persuade Emma, Emma was certain of it, but David's reply seemed to have somehow convinced Snow. Emma was placed onto the ground, okay this was a whole lot more disorientating, it was weird not being able to see their faces anymore down in the forest of legs, not being able to figure out what Snow was looking like, why she decided to side with her and David.
"Just please keep with us." Snow's voice was still laced with worry, but when Emma looked up she only saw Snow smiling down at her, a smile which didn't quite reach her eyes, not fully.
As they walked through the store Snow kept catching sight of purple and blue baby clothes on the end of aisles, designed to be eye catching. She did not let them turn her head, no matter how much her nesting instinct was bading her to. She could tell David was doing the same, he was purposely talking more whenever there was a football jersey or a little baseball outfit or something, trying to distract himself and make sure Emma didn't notice anything.
They had talked about this after strapping Emma into the car seat on the way, before either of them had gotten into the car, it was a quick and hushed conversation, both of them had realised how much the new sibling was effecting Emma already, they had sworn that neither of them would buy a single thing which wasn't for their oldest baby.
It wasn't going to solve everything but it would at least help a little, they needed to talk to her properly, but time wasn't on their side, they couldn't rush her to talk after the shock of recent events as she would simply shut down, but they also only had a month at most to get her used to it.
Twenty minutes later Emma was ever so slightly regretting choosing to walk instead of being carried or riding in the cart, it was so far from the entrance to the travel section of the store, and what made it worse was that she knew that Snow and David were having to slow their walking to match her's, no matter how fast she walked.
Snow led the way as David stayed walking by Emma's side as Snow tried to get Emma excited about being able to face forward in the car seat.
Then her mother began to look at the car seats.
Emma knew that her mother could communicate with birds, theoretically.
She had seen the Snow White movie when she was young, but seeing Mary -Snow, flittering around the aisle comparing different car seats it allowed Emma, for once, to see the similarities between the Snow in the story book and the woman who was her mother.
It made her feel a little uncomfortable, it was hard for her, the reason why she allowed herself to not call her mom was because she couldn't combine the two versions of Snow, the story book one who had birthed her and the one she had been roomies with.
Snow finally came back over to them with a patient smile on her face, like the one she smiled at council meetings in Henry's story book.
"I think I found top three, they're all very safe and come equipped with-"
Emma zoned out as Snow began to rattle off facts over the safety features, David joining in to ask questions about how safe they really were, and adding in his two cents over which he thought was best in each category Snow seemed to be marking them out of - seriously she had a notepad and pen and was tallying up the points.
But Emma didn't care about the safety of car seats or anything like that, in fact it was even more boring to her than usual, instead she found her eyes drawn to a lightweight stroller, something she would have absolutely no interest in, but this one was bright red and a deep green, designed to look like a monster with fabric teeth sewn into the hood, she didn't know why she was staring, she was fairly certain if Snow tried to put her in one she really would throw a tantrum, but the bright colours and childish design were hypnotising.
"Emma!"
Emma snapped her head in the direction of Snow White, she could tell from the tone of voice she had used, and the now concerned look on her face, that this wasn't the first time she called Emma's name.
"Yeah? What's up? Are you two done being boring?" She asked with a cheeky smile, she had aimed for charming but this would do, she could tell Snow thought she had been doing it on purpose.
"We've narrowed it down to two, we need you to decide which one is more comfortable, you okay to do a taste test?" She stood about a foot away from Emma, her arms out to pick her up but not inside of her personal bubble, all the while she was making sure Emma knew there was no pressure in denying it.
"My answer is none of them cause I'll be fine." She cut off any protests at the root with her eye roll but she hadn't put her heart into it. "Yeah, yeah, I know." She sighed, her words also hadn't come with snark or fire, she walked towards Snow and allowed herself to be scooped up. She was never going to get used to being held.
She was placed into a car seat which was strapped into a tester car seat. The only positive was that it was at least forward facing this time, and it was a little more comfortable, possibly because it actually fit her size; her new size that was. She was made to test two car seats; one was a deep purple one it was modern and comfortable, not that she was about to admit it, she reluctantly admitted it was okay. She was no more enthusiastic about the next one, she didn't have a hard time realising who picked which car seat, the next one was blue and green, a cartoon rainforest dotted with brightly coloured animals, this one was clearly David's pick. It was basically the same as the first one, only a different design, Snow insisted it was different but the second she tried to explain why Emma shut down again.
Then they stood in front of her while she was still strapped into the seat, waiting to hear her judgement, she shrugged her shoulders telling them that it didn't make a difference to her.
"How about you decide which design you like best?" Snow suggested carefully.
"I…" Emma looked at the purple seat David was holding and then at the one she was sat in. "I don't know, I don't care." She tried her best to come off as nonchalant, but her stomach turned ever so slightly despite herself at the idea of having to choose between the options, she didn't want to let either of them down. Logically she knew that was stupid, but realistically she felt uncomfortable, she felt like one of those nineties teen movies about the kids with the divorced parents.
Snow nodded at David's silent words then she turned back to Emma, through determination she managed to bend down to undo the straps of the car seat, she smiled kindly at her daughter. "Well, we already have two car seats for the-," she cut herself off, "well we have two cars it would be a good idea to have one in each of them, in case we need to drive somewhere in an emergency, no need to choose."
"Thanks." Emma told her quietly when she was lifted down, she was fairly certain her mom knew that she meant both for the help and for not making her choose.
"I'll go and erm,-" David nodded his head towards the exit, he trailed off but quickly recovered with a charming smile. "-I'll go and pay for these and put them in the trunk so we're not having to push them around."
For a few seconds he looked torn.
"Go, we'll be okay, won't we Emma?"
"Yeah? Why wouldn't we?" Emma's brows furrowed and she found a small part of her brain searching for a reason why he should stay.
David nodded his head, he was still smiling but he also still looked a little torn. "I'll meet you near the clothes?"
"Sure, we'll see you there, won't we Emma?"
Emma swallowed. "Yeah, sure, whatever."
Between the travel section and the clothes they made several detours, stopping in the homeware department, Emma had never thought she would be so happy to see steps so she could reach things, though she had also never thought she would need steps, at least not for the small things. It felt like it was taking forever to walk around the place, she was now more than certain that the place was cursed to be never ending.
"Okay come on."
"What?"
Snow bit her lip to stop herself from smiling at the image of Emma tilting her head to the side in confusion, she was so her father's daughter. Biting her lip did not help. "Emma you're clearly tired, hop in the cart for a little while."
"I'm not! I'm fine!"
"Emma-."
"I can walk by myself!" She was aware that she was raising her voice but she also couldn't stop it. "I'm not a! I can do this! I don't want to do that-! I want to move on my own!"
The frustration from having to ride in the car seat and having two bought specially for her and having been carried more places had finally gotten too much, she didn't even notice when her foot stomped in company with her 'own'.
Snow was as patient as ever. "Emma, I know that you can, but you look exhausted, it's okay to accept help when you need it."
"I don't need it!"
"Emma." This time it was accompanied with a pitying sigh. Emma had already started to walk again, her feet fell heavily against the grey vinyl. Emma had chosen to carry on out of stubborness. She wished that Emma hadn't inherited both of their stubborness. Snow had no choice but to follow her, pushing the cart and watching Emma carefully.
It wasn't long before Emma was lagging again, Snow slowed her already slow pace, she waited as Emma leant against a step a staff member must have forgotten to put away, she was pretending to look at the shelves but Snow knew for a fact she was not, she had no interest at all in baby formula for newborn to six months olds. Snow stood on the other side of the aisle waiting for Emma to move again, or to speak to her, she had a strong feeling it would be the former rather than the latter.
"I need, can I…" Emma swallowed hard and when she spoke again she raised her voice loud enough that Snow would actually be able to hear her. "Can I ride in the cart now?"
Snow frowned seeing Emma looking down at the floor, she could tell Emma was ashamed at even having to ask for help, who had taught her shame in needing help? Or had she learnt on her own? She cleared her frown before Emma could say it, and moved before Emma could doubt anything, she lifted her and placed her into the seat near the handlebar of the cart. She gave her a smile as they set off, and when Emma finally met her eyes Snow began to talk about the things still on her list, assuring her she wouldn't be put in girly clothes, she tried to ask a little about Emma's childhood, but as always Emma didn't answer, instead she would give some non-answer and change the subject.
When they got to the clothes area Snow took a minute to find her way to the correct age section, she was used to the gender neutral newborn section, eventually she managed to find it and she carefully lifted Emma out of the seat as though Emma was a newborn baby. "If you get tired you just tell me and I'll carry you or you can rest on one of the seats." She nodded towards an empty couch in the center of the aisle.
"I'm-," she was about to say but stopped and amended, "I'll be okay, but thank you."
The thank you came out more as a question, as though she wasn't used to having anyone helping her, it broke Snow's heart and uncomfortably reminded her of the Emma who had just moved in with Mary Margaret and didn't even know the definition of family. Snow was a hopeful person but even she couldn't feel a little disheartened by the fact this felt like yet another step back.
"Okay honey." Her voice was soothing.
Snow chose to collect a couple of shirts and pants before dragging Emma into a changing room to try them on, this time Emma didn't protest her help, Snow didn't know whether to be worried or relieved.
"Erm, unicorns aren't really my thing."
Snow blinked in surprise before she realised it was the picture the sequins on the shirt she was currently holding. "Oh! Oh, no this is just for us to figure out the size you need, it saves you having to try on all of them once we've picked stuff out."
Emma had to admit Snow had a point, she let her help her into clothes and a new pair of shoes, they fit a lot better than the large clothes and shoes she had borrowed from Alexandra, but Snow still frowned and helped her out of them and into a new set of clothes and sneakers identical to the last set. These fit perfectly but Snow was frowning.
"What? They fit fine, I don't need to try on another set, do I?" She couldn't help but whine.
Snow finally gave her a smile, when she saw her daughter's face flicker with doubt she explained. "You don't have to, I was just not expecting you to be so small, I mean I figured you were small for your age when I first saw you, but, well this proves it." She watched Emma look guilty and immediately felt bad, though she knew Emma's reaction wasn't one most children would have. "Hey, it's okay, I just forgot that you would be so small."
Emma frowned but Snow didn't expand. She held her arms up when Snow gestured to her to do so, "Why-?" she began to ask but her voice was muffled when the sweatshirt was pulled over her head, she waited until she had the borrowed set of large clothes back on before trying again.
Snow's face changed in the way it always did when she thought about the day of Emma's birth, she smoothed the distress from it like an iron on a linen shirt, but Emma had seen it. "You were born early, very early, if you had been born on time I would have already been in this world for a few weeks." She cradled Emma's cheek though she wasn't sure if she was comforting herself or Emma. "You were so tiny, I was so scared," she shook her head to stop herself from scaring Emma, she let out a small giggle, "your daddy was so scared to even hold you; you were that tiny. But you were already full of life, you were so wide awake looking at me and your father, but when he had to take you to the wardrobe you were so still and quiet, you were perfect. You still are."
For once Emma didn't interrupt or protest at Snow calling David her daddy, she was clearly lost in the past, and it seemed to hurt her talking about it so Emma wasn't about to make that worse, not when Snow had been so kind and patient to her. Anyway, Snow had probably just gotten distracted, she was used to calling David 'daddy' to the bump, she was distracted by the past and forgot who she was talking to.
She could feel Snow's soft palm on her cheek, there was a slight cocoa butter smell from Snow's hand cream, just like the one she used as Mary Margaret, it was both comforting and jarring to notice this connection, this reminder that Snow was Mary Margaret and Mary Margaret was her mother. She didn't realise her head was moving until it was already leaning against Snow's hand. Snow's thumb stroked her cheek and Emma had to swallow hard to keep her emotions down.
The moment was broken as Emma dropped to sit cross legged on the floor to put on her shoes, out of Snow's reach. She resisted sighing and instead pointed out to Emma that the shoes were currently on the wrong feet.
Once out of the changing room the two got to work finding a new wardrobe, or Snow got to work and when she found that Emma wouldn't pick things out herself she managed to persuade her to (reluctantly) decide between two options. It was slow and had slowed more whenever they would have to go to a different aisle, Snow was nearly certain Emma was going to fall asleep on her feet, but she was still refusing to allow herself to be carried and had opted for walking instead of riding in the cart again. Snow was choosing to pick her battles.
Emma felt her head nodding and jerking every time she forced herself to wake up, she was leant against one of the empty couches, she knew she would be more comfortable in the cart or in Snow's arms, but she needed to keep an eye out for David and an eye on Snow, she knew it was a little weird but she desperately needed to know where they were.
Her head nodded down again, and suddenly her feet left the ground, she felt weightless, her head jerked up and this time she felt wide awake. She opened her mouth to scream for help but the scream caught in her throat when she realised who had picked her up, she saw the familiar cautiously charming smile on David's face, and the next thing she knew she was wrapping her arms around David's neck and burying her face against him.
It took David a beat to realise that Emma was hugging him. He kept one arm wrapped around her back, keeping her in his arms, his other arm was up his hand cradling the back of her head. "Hey kiddo." He finally said with a laugh.
"You were gone for ages."
David had to listen hard to hear her words as she spoke them into his jacket, then his heart sank, the fear was clear in her voice despite her best efforts to hide it. "I know, I'm sorry, I was just making sure we have everything we need. I'm here now." He stood there for four minutes, rocking slightly to try and comfort her, as he did, tears pricked his eyes, knowing he should have had this moment with Emma twenty five years earlier. He had a silent conversation with his wife, she confirmed that Emma had been acting like this while he was busy ordering furniture, or a mix of this and angry Emma.
Eventually Emma's hold on David loosened and the family began to walk once again through the store. Emma was exhausted but needed to stay awake, alert, at least until her family were home where she would know where they were and that they would not be leaving her side.
Eventually she made it through the fatigue and had energy again David had stopped walking and when Emma looked he was looking at electronics, normally she didn't mind this sort of thing, in fact she rather liked tech things, especially when she would manage to find it in this eighties style town. But now it seemed so boring, she wiggled in his arms and was relieved when he didn't ask her to expand on what she wanted, instead he placed her down.
Emma wandered around the tech island, there were some brightly coloured headphones which caught her eye but otherwise it was all particularly unappealing. She made it back to David's side and stood beside him, she didn't miss the fact that he checked on her every so often but he was mostly distracted, and Snow had wandered off somewhere with the cart. She was about to let out a whine that she was bored but was cut off before she could start, she had noticed a tunnel of bright white.
Okay it was an aisle full of colour which caught her attention, but that was practically the same thing. It was, or at least seemed to be, one of the few aisles in the entire store she hadn't been dragged down. They had no need for it. She had no need for it. She reminded herself as she stalked from David's side down the aisle, David was still in view so she allowed herself to stay where she was, in the technicolour aisle full of toys.
She had never had many toys as a child, and it was rare to have brand new toys, so rare she wasn't sure she was even sure she could remember having new toys in her life. There seemed to be even more now than there had been when she was a child, both new technological ones and more traditional toys like action figures and teddies. She found herself staring at a set of colderoy coloured dinosaurs, she didn't know why, before she knew it she was holding her hand out to feel if they were as soft as they looked.
David had been looking at a child's tablet, he wanted Emma to be able to still contact people she loved and cared about but he knew that it wouldn't be easy for her to do on her usual cellphone, it would be too hard for her and it would frustrate her, and David hated to see her upset. He looked down yet again to check on her, he was waiting for her to give in and be held again, he had only just looked down, it had been one minute, Emma was gone.
He tried not to let himself over react, she would be there, of course she would be. He placed the box he had picked up back down and walked around the other side of the island. No Emma. Shelves of dvds were close by, but also Emma-less. There was no sign of her wandering bored by the cables or looking at the headphones. There was no Emma.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit; was all he could think as he ran his hand through his hair. He could feel his eyes darting around the place, he wasn't sure he was breathing, he wasn't sure he wanted to breathe, not until he found her. A logical part of his brain took over, it told him to start at the ends of the closest aisles, as the aisles ran from where he was at the front of the store all the way to the back it would be the quickest and easiest way to find her.
He finally sucked in a breath as he reached the fourth aisle, not too far from where he was standing was a tiny three year old, with shoulder length blonde curls, and dressed in all pink and purple. He ran and was by her side by the time she even noticed him, he didn't give her a chance to do or say anything before he pulled her into his arms and held her as tight as he could without hurting her.
"Erm, David?" Emma said after what felt like an eternity. She had been embarrassed when David had found her not just in the toy aisle but staring at toys, but then he had taken her into his arms, and now she still was. And she wasn't exactly sure why.
David was only just starting to breathe again but had to fight with himself to let her out of his arms, he placed her back onto the ground and squatted in front of her. "Emma what the, what were you doing wandering off? Anything could have happened to you? Why did you…?" He shook his head in disbelief, but he could see Emma's face and knew it was bordering on fear. Not at him, or at least he didn't think, but he knew he had to be careful. "Emma when I looked down and didn't see you it really worried me. We, your mother and I, need to know where you are at all times. The town is fairly safe but we still have people who would try to take advantage of this, who could try and take you or… We need to know, okay?"
Emma bit her lip so hard that it was nearly bleeding but David's thumb sweeped under the skin just below her bottom lip, a signal for her to stop biting before she hurt herself. She nodded her head.
David took her in for a minute before he nodded and he gave her a smile, he felt bad at chastising her, not because up until a day ago she was nearly his age, but because she looked so ashamed. "So, what were you looking at, Sunshine?" He glanced at the shelf of soft toys Emma had been touching, purple long necked dinosaurs. He couldn't help but smile.
Emma gave an exaggerated shrug of her shoulders. "N'thin'."
David rolled his eyes in such an exaggerated way that even Emma wouldn't be able to interpret it as anything but playful. "You know, I slept with a teddy bear until I was nearly twelve, and even after then I kept it safe, it was important to me, it was one of the few presents my mom could ever give me, she knitted it herself."
"Why'd she knit it herself?"
"Huh? Oh, why didn't she buy it?" She nodded. "Well, we had very little money but we had a herd of sheep, so she used their wool to knit and stuff a bear for me." He plucked one of the dinosaurs from the shelf with his usual cheery smile. "I bet my mom wishes she could have made something like this though."
Emma had been smiling through his story but eventually faltered when she realised what David was hinting- that the dinosaur was coming with them. "I don't need that."
"It's okay to have things that you just want- not only what you need."
"No I mean, I'm not some little kid, I don't need it." If she had been having this conversation earlier her words would have been full of fire, but she had finally hit the part of being overtired which meant she was now exhausted once again. So instead of sounding angry her words came out as a pure whine.
David gave her a pitying smile. "It's okay, Em. Do it for me? It's the first time I've been able to buy you things that you're actually going to see." He knew that it was a low blow, that he was playing on their would be past, but he had also seen the childish want on her face as he had run over to her, if she weren't so stubborn she would accept it without having to fight, but she was stubborn, so it had to be this way.
"I guess." Emma relented without further protest, her eyes still on the dinosaur teddy, she didn't want to protest too much in case David sided with her. He rewarded her with a smile and despite her best efforts she couldn't help but smile back. The smile was broken by a yawn and David lifted her up into his arms again. She led her head against his shoulder, she didn't really want to (or at least that was what she was telling herself), but she was much too tired to fight it.
David shared a hushed conversation with Snow about what just happened when he saw her searching the tech section for them. He was glad that Emma was too tired to be inquisitive or to even look at the cart with the items Snow had added, some were simple toiletries, some were younger items which Emma might never need but she thought were best to have in stock just in case. He added the dinosaur and the kiddies tablet to the cart then followed Snow to the checkout.
Emma stayed in David's arms as they stood in line at the checkout, as their things were packed up by the bag boy, and as they made it outside to Snow's station wagon, she let out a tiny protest when she was passed from David to Snow, and she frowned as Snow strapped her into the new carseat, the purple one, but she was too tired to keep it on her face for too long. She let out another large yawn.
"Why don't you take a little nap, sweetie?"
"'m not a little kid," Emma's words were slurred with impending sleep, and her eyes fell shut, "I don't need naps."
Snow couldn't help but laugh as Emma fell asleep straight away. She stayed watching Emma as she slept, she was waiting for David to pack up the trunk of the car as he was being extra protective, and for once she was happy to take him up on his offer, it finally gave her the opportunity to just watch her daughter.
When they got back to the loft Emma was sound asleep, David had insisted on carrying her up the stairs but as soon as they were inside of the loft Snow took her baby back. David pressed a gentle kiss onto her head before he went downstairs to start lugging the many purchases up the three floors.
Snow tucked her into the downstairs bed, it was much, much, too big for her, but Snow tucked her into the centre of the bed. She sat at her side, stroking her hair, leaving her only when David had unpacked the bed guards and had screwed them onto the bed, just in case Emma fell again.
After that it was another twenty minutes for either of them to allow themselves to drag themselves away from her side.
Together the husband and wife worked putting away utensils, clothes, essentials, and put together any of the small furniture items, the bigger ones would be arriving over the next couple of days.
When it was finally done they both collapsed onto the couch with coffee and tea for their well deserved break.
"I was thinking." David began looking slowly around the downstairs of the loft, they had already set up the unborn baby's downstairs crib along with some unboxed furniture, along with most of Emma's new things, the already small loft looked suddenly impossibly small. "Maybe it would be a good idea if we looked at getting a new place, a bigger one, a house. I know I was the reason we stayed last time because I wasn't ready to give up on our old home, but this place isn't going to be big enough." He spoke carefully and watched Snow's face as she looked across the loft. There was something ever so slightly sad on the face.
"I know."
"You do?"
Snow couldn't help but laugh at his surprise. "Of course I do, even before Emma changed this place was too small, I was going to bring it up but I didn't want to give her an excuse to leave us."
"Huh."
"What?"
"I guess I expected more of a fight, I mean this has been your home for nearly twenty nine years."
Snow took his hands in her own. "David it was a place literally designed because Regina hated me. I love it because of the memories and because this is always going to be our family's first home, our baby's, but it's not a proper home. This is all Mary Margaret, we need to find one which will be all of our home. Preferably not one which is up three stories without an elevator."
"I'll second that." David let out a loud groan and rubbed the back of his neck to bring attention to his aching muscles. "I'm starting to think I'm not that young anymore."
"Aw, it's cute that you're only just starting to think that," She giggled as she cuddled close to him, her hand ran through his dirty blonde hair which had curled thanks to all of the effort, "soon you'll be a silver fox. Old man."
David pretended to look offended, dug his fingers into her ribs to get her to laugh, then levelled her with a look. "You know you're a few months older than me, right?"
"And?" She challenged raising one eyebrow, there was a daring glint in her green eyes and in the curve of her lips.
"And nothing my love." David shot her his trademark smile before leaning in to kiss her. They would make the most of the brief quiet.