Disclaimer- My name is not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas or Rorschach's Blot. So Harry Potter, Star Wars or Mr. Black could not belong to me.
This fanfiction was written as a guilty pleasure when I could not find a satisfying Mr. Black and Star Wars crossover. Some of the events and facts of Star Wars universe WILL be altered. If you are triggered by such things please stop here because flames will be ignored. On that note constructive criticism are most welcome.
Ps- If you do not know about Mr. Black (God forbid) then you better go and read 'Make a Wish' by Rorschach's Blot. I promise you that is much, much better than this fic.
With that let's start
Chapter I – Forget speaking out loud, don't even think about it.
He was laying on the recliner. He forgot the last time he had such a long rest. It had been two days since anyone had contacted him. Kara left for her home dimension for some charity event or other. Xander went to Hellmouth, again. He kind of wondered if hell spawns were brain-dead. No matter. He was sure Xander had it handled. He checked his zippo to see if it was discharged or broken but didn't dare to dismantle it. People may praise him for all knowing but he knew his limitations, most of the times. Then he set it aside. If the Professor or Henchgirl needed him then they'll find him. Hell, he still hasn't found any situation where they can't reach him.
That was yesterday. It was a novel experience to just lie down for a long period of time but he was bored now. He laid there thinking if he should look up to a new hobby. He wanted to go somewhere new but didn't dare to say it out loud in case universe decides to play with its favourite spittoon and throw him somewhere bizarre.
Just then his zippo vibrated and he wondered if the universe was bored like him and decided to read his mind. His luck was weird like that.
"Black here." he replied without opening his eyes, enjoying his last few moments of tranquillity.
"Joe, get your ass up here this instant!" came a very familiar voice.
"Kara! When did you get back?" he was glad that the first person to call him was his girlfriend. He was hoping to pop the question but decided to wait until he was sure that Kara would stick around. Cure those Dursleys, Doctor and Henchgirl were still working over his psychological issues but it was slow going. He didn't want to pressure her into anything. And since they would be around for a very long time he wasn't in a hurry.
"I just got back. But this isn't about that. Get your ass back in the Island. We have got a situation." and just like that his last moments of tranquillity vanished and he apparated directly to the labs. He was ninety percent sure that whatever it was, Professor and Henchgirl were involved.
When he reached there, he saw everyone but the Professor was present. Kara noticed him and waved him over. He saw that Doctor was standing over a scroll along with Architect who was noting down something. What was new was that Mechanic was standing beside him adding his own observations over his shoulder. That was new because he almost never left his workshop and Henchgirl was typing away something which he frankly did not need to know about. "So, what happened now?"
Henchgirl was startled hearing his voice while others simply looked at him waved and went back to what they were doing. Things were definitely serious. "Mr. Black, when did you get back?" Henchgirl was definitely nervous.
"Just now, Kara called me. So, what happened and where is Professor?" He was used to it now. Something will happen and he will be caught up. Then he will just have to wait for others to catch up to him. He will meet new people, maybe even new members of his ever growing crazy family. Everything worked out in the end, so that was a plus point. On the negative side he would be deified, again. But they usually left him alone in hope to escape his wrath, so that was not really a minus point.
"Nothing happened." Here Harry raised his eyebrows. "Ok, nothing new happened. We were testing a new transporter for you. You know, when you saw Star Trek and said that there is a whole new world which you would like to go but didn't want to fly there as it was really time consuming and nothing to see. You would have to travel who-knows-how-many-light-years before you get to see anything new, if you are lucky. So we wanted to test our theory and we that is Doctor, Professor and I configured our transporter to look for the sign of life beside Earth, check the environmental conditions and transport you there. But we made a mistake when crafting runes. This rune here denotes mother Earth." Here she pointed at a rune which he was familiar with, having seen them on various tombs. "What we miscalculated is that when we amplified the signal we actually expanded the criteria, it instead of searching a planet filled with life searched for galaxy worth. Professor accidently activated the transporter and is now lost in a different galaxy on a random planet." That was one long sentence in one breath.
"What does that even mean? How is a planet filled with life is different from galaxy filled with life?" he was confused with the difference.
"The same way a House full of people is different from a city full of people. We are looking at space dwelling civilization, a place where beings are travelling from one star system to another on regular basis or even on daily basis."
"How long ago was this and why didn't you floo me?"
"We figured we could handle this. You were relaxing and I didn't want to disturb you. We have everything under control..." Kara snorted here which earned her stink eyes from Henchgirl. "And I have made rescue plan."
"So can't you find him like you did me when I was lost in Kara's dimension or how we found Xander?"
"We did find him but it's complicated." Doctor replied, her eyes still not leaving the scroll. Harry waited for them to elaborate.
"We tracked the galaxy but we cannot retrieve him. Well, you know how when visiting other dimensions we anchored our portal to Earth. So wherever we go we always land on a different version of Earth. Well we pulled that anchor and it's now a one way door with no set coordinates. And now Professor is stranded in a galaxy far, far away."
"What did you just said?"
"The Professor is lost in a different galaxy?" Henchgirl was wondering what was so shocking about that. Sure the Professor was lost, not like it didn't happen to Mr. Black. That was why she didn't want to disturb his downtime. But Kara said that they were really over their heads.
"No, I mean the last part. What were the exact words that you said?"
"Professor is stranded in a galaxy far, far away? Why? Is that important?" now she was confused but figured that he may know more than them.
"I don't know, maybe. I thought you were paraphrasing someone and I just got a weird feeling."
"I am sure it's nothing important. What is important is that before we lost him completely, we managed to map out the general vicinity. But that is a relative term. The range is really vast and by that I mean several-solar-systems vast. We tried his zippo but one second we were getting amazing readings and suddenly it went dormant, now only thing we get is that Professor is still alive. Something is interfering with the signal. We just need to get in range with them to get the data." She was really proud with all the preparations.
"By getting in range with them you mean I am to go out there and search for him using something? I think that's good and I would love to see what other things are out there. It will be good to out again when people or beings do not know me." It was kind of detailed plan from his point of view. He thought he had to go out there and triangulate Professor's location using point-me but a vast galaxy sounded too troublesome. Though, he wondered if his luck would allow the plan to work.
"No Joe, you are not going alone. Everyone in the room is coming with you. You are a trouble magnet who can't avoid trouble in one world and we are talking here about a galaxy worth of worlds." Kara interjected. He wanted to argue but she raised her eyebrow as if daring him to contradict her. He looked around the room to see if others supported the idea. Doctor quickly agreed with her.
"Yes Mr. Black and I think you might be underestimating the area you would have to cover on your own and that is not even considering that you are thinking of flying under your own power. Which I might add is a terrible idea."
He quickly understood what she was pointing at "You guys built a spaceship? How long have you been planning this and how did you hide the construction?"
"You would be surprised. Remember when Mechanic and Professor asked to borrow your space ship*? We based the designed on that as well as made some adjustments to it. We wanted to surprise you and well I figured we could find Professor easily but we began to have complications due to range." Henchgirl was looking sheepish.
"So is everything ready? Who else is coming along and who is going to mind the shop while we are gone?"
"Everyone in this room, along with Veelas since they were quite upset last time you ditched them. Yuki onnas wanted to come but decided against it since they learned that we would be travelling in space and they are nature spirits." Henchgirl shrugged her shoulder as if she did not understand the significance. "Galatea will be joining us as soon as Justice League deals with Doomsday; I still don't know why they won't let Doctor have a look at him and how he seems to avoid you. She wanted to go on a vacation for a long time. Since Kara called you, I decided to call Raven to ask if she wanted to come along with Tim. They were unavailable and still haven't called back. Pamela will be joining us too, something about new variety of plants in vast cosmos. Harley wanted to come but someone had to take care of Leaky Cauldron. Moody, Shackbolt and their auror buddies were feeling bored since dark wizard activities are really down and Moody is really paranoid to relax anywhere he is known, so they decided to tag along. That is all we need to make teams and man the vessels." Henchgirl listed them from her mental notebook and was rechecking to see if she missed anyone. "Oh yeah, Dawn wanted to join but Xander put his foot down. He said the world or galaxy in this case is not ready for Dawn level destruction alongside Mr. Black's brand of vacation, same with your Angels. So they will be taking care of things under Pencil's supervision unless we need them, that is."
Harry was becoming more nervous as the list went on. "Are you sure this many people are necessary? Why don't just Kara and I go and rest of you stay here on stand-by in case we need you?"
"Joe, we really need all those people. We just know the galaxy where we lost Professor, not the location. Each galaxy is spread in millions of light-years. We will need vessels and manpower for those vessels and scour each star system. We will be looking for a needle in a farm, forget haystack. Also you forget one major detail."
"And what is that?"
"Outer-space Joe, no one has ever gone out of our own atmosphere. And according to the last reading we got from Professor's zippo, teaming with life. There is practically too much to see. No one is going to ignore the temptation." Here Harry had to concede.
"So how do we find him? I do hope you have found a way otherwise I think the Professor is in for a long wait."
"Yes, I was getting to that. We will be dividing into groups and each group will be having their own tasks. Our main priority will be to track down Professor but we will have to remember the true depth of our situation. There will be many dangers not limited to hostile alien races but also alien pathogens along with various other dangers so we will have to construct a base of operation. Getting information and mapping the star system. We will be dividing the areas and eliminate systems with uninhabitable planets or planets unsuitable for Human beings. After that we will be sending groups to scour the galaxy. Any questions? Yes Mr. Black?"
"Yes, First of all I just wanted to point out that that was a really detailed plan and secondly, when did you get time to make a PowerPoint presentation for it?" Harry said pointing towards the large projector screen that popped out of the wall.
"Oh this little thing, Pencil said that this makes things more interesting."
Suddenly black and white blur crashed into Harry and launched him towards the Transporter taking everyone by surprise. Somehow, nobody could even theorise how but later put it under Black Luck™; the Port-Trans activated and took Mr. Black along with the blur to their new adventure.
...in a galaxy far, far away.
*- Spaceship capture from Fatal Five in 31st century, Terminal Justice.
A/N- So what do you guys think? Did I manage to paint the events interesting enough? Short chapter, I know bit this is only introductory chapter. First few chapters are mostly written so they will be published with minor edits as soon as I can manage. After that it will be updated on weekly basis, hopefully. On second note, as I said above flames will be ignored but constructive criticism are welcome. You can point out the mistakes and I will welcome suggestion but I won't be accepting requests in regards of the direction where this will go. I hope we see each other in the next chapter.