Christian

I don't know why I'm here. If Ray hadn't suggested it and persuaded me that it was the best thing for Ana then I really wouldn't be.

Carla has set Ana back days. She's barely speaking today, refused to do the session with Jamie this morning and I don't know if John and Tamara will get her speaking this afternoon. The only thing that I'm glad about is she's eating still and had gone for lunch with the children as I was leaving.

Personally I was ready to send Carla a message saying that the hotel would need to be paid for from the end of the week and that she needed to book a flight back to Savannah. Ray however thinks Carla needs support and understanding to finally come clean about whatever happened with Morton so that she can tell Ana. She's harboured this secret all these years and to suddenly expect her to come out with it may be asking too much.

I don't think anything is too much for your child. I'd do anything for our kids and for Ana because they are my everything. I don't understand why Carla can't put her own issues aside for Ana.

"If this doesn't work, she needs to go back to Savannah. Make it clear if she has no intention of helping Ana." I say as Ray and I get out the car.

"If this doesn't work I'll put her on the next plane myself." Raymond mutters and under most circumstances this would make me smile. Raymond is usually a taciturn man and so to get an emotional reaction of any kind from him is unusual. He cried when he met Teddy and learned his middle name was Raymond and he cried again when Phoebe and the twins were born. But they were quiet and well hidden tears that I don't know if Ana even noticed.

We make our way up to Carla's hotel room and our eyes meet briefly before I knock on the door. We're not waiting long before Carla opens it with red rimmed eyes and a shiny nose. She's been crying.

"I can't do it." She chokes before we've even stepped inside.

"You need to for Ana." Raymond says as I shut the door behind us.

"I can't." She stresses.

"Listen to yourself Carla!" Raymond shouts taking both me and Carla by complete surprise. "This is not about you! It's about Annie, she needs to understand this and you've got to for the first time in your god forsaken life put her needs before your own!"

Raymond is not just shouting. He's exploding and Carla has been stunned into silence. The tears have stopped the stress on her face gone and it's incredible really how quick they stopped. I put my hand gently on my father in laws shoulder because shouting won't help the situation any. Though he did deserve to get it out. Ana is his everything and he's fed up after all these years of seeing her not being first in her mother's life.

"Carla." I say dryly. This woman needs to know how angry I am with her without my needing to raise my voice. "I don't know what happened between you and Morton and quite frankly I don't care. However you bought that monster into Ana's life and now she has questions that only you can answer."

"It's not that simple." She says quietly, her eyes sinking to the floor. I hope it's fucking guilt that's making her like this but I know enough to know it's more selfish than that.

"It's simple enough. Answer our daughter's questions so she can make peace with what happened to her." Raymond retorts. "Stop putting you first and put her first for once."

"I knew!" She says before starting to wail loudly and I look at Raymond wondering what the fuck that means.

"Enough Carla." I snap bringing her attention back to us. "What did you know?"

She sighs and makes her way to the couch, her mind figuring out what she's going to say next.

"I knew he'd come for her one day." She says so quietly that I have to strain my ears to hear her. "It was one of the last things he said to me before I left."

"Why did you leave him?" Ray asks taking the armchair while I stay standing. I'm so angry and getting angrier and sitting down is probably not a good idea.

"It doesn't matter." She shrugs.

"It matters to Ana!" I shout angrily unable to help myself.

"She doesn't need to know." Carla replies sadly. "It doesn't change what happened."

"You're scared she'll blame you." Raymond says quietly. "Aren't you?"

I look at Carla waiting for an answer and she sighs again, a deep and mournful sigh.

"You mean she doesn't already?"

Raymond

It took some persuading but Carla has agreed to try and come again tomorrow. Christian has made it clear that it will be her last chance and if she lets Ana down again Ana will be told she needs to make peace with the fact her mother doesn't care about her. I hope it doesn't come to that.

A little harsh but it worked. Carla has convinced herself already that Ana was blaming her for what happened with Morton but Ana is bigger and better than that. She knows that her mother didn't know what he was capable of when she married him and Carla isn't responsible for the rape. Carla thinks maybe Ana will change her mind when she answers Ana's questions but as I said to her, she needs to have more faith in our daughter than that.

Ana was a mess when she came from Vegas and the thing that hit her hardest was that when she begged her mother to leave him that her mother refused. Ana feared something happening to Carla at his hands but it wasn't Ana's responsibility to get her mother to accept that Morton was evil. Of course there was the little fact that Carla chose staying with Morton over Ana's happiness.

I know over the years Ana was the parent. Carla has her head in the clouds most of the time and after we divorced Ana bought herself up before she came to me. I'm just glad she came to me and that she stayed with me and I parented her in a way Carla was never able to.

She may not be my blood but she is my everything. I'm her father. I love her unconditionally like she's my own and I'd do anything for her. Hence why I persuaded Christian to come with me to see Carla.

She better show tomorrow. I mean it. If she doesn't I will be turning up at the hotel to put her on a plane myself. She doesn't get to keep knocking Ana down especially now.

My baby girl. I wish I could kill the bastard who raped her. He kidnapped Amaya with the sole purpose of getting Ana. Sick bastard. I hope he dies in prison. I hope someone murders him, slowly, with a rusty steak knife.

I can't imagine what the bastard would have done to Ana if I hadn't said she could come home to me. Not that I'd have ever denied her. I knew something had happened when she called but she didn't tell me till she was safe with me and she told me categorically that I couldn't tell Carla. She begged Carla to leave him. I remember her sobbing on the phone saying she had to go before something bad happened.

But for once, only Carla can step up for little Annie now. I can't be the one to fix this this time. Only Carla can make it right. I wish I had the answers, I wish I could give them to Ana but I can't. For the first time in years Annie is solely dependant on her mother for this and there is nothing or no one that can step up instead.

"You ok Ray?" Christian asks as Taylor pulls up outside the house.

"Yeah." I reply thought I think my son in law can see I'm anything but. "You think Ana will see me?" I ask nervously. I try not to be nervous but I can't help it. I want to see my daughter but she's been rejecting visitors and I don't really know what I can do to help her. I just want to be there for her.

"I think it's worth a try." Christian replies before climbing out the car and I'm quick to follow.

We make our way straight up to Christian's office though it's been commandeered by the team they have taking care of Ana. It doesn't look like a home office anymore more like a break room with chairs everywhere, snacks and empty mugs.

"How's she doing?" Christian asks taking his seat behind the desk as the team pay attention to our entrance.

"It's a huge set back Christian she's not talking with any of us today." John says defeatedly. "We've all tried."

Fucking Carla. If only she knew the hell she's caused by her actions... she wouldn't care, she never has done that's the problem. She never takes any kind of responsibility, she's never left her teenage years.

"Ray is going to see her. Maybe she'll speak to him." Christian says nodding towards me. All eyes turn to me.

"Grace is with her at the moment." The black lady says, I can't remember her name but I know she's the one working most with Ana. "Give them another ten to fifteen minutes in case Ana's opened up to her?"

"Sure." I reply because I'm happy to take their lead to a point. As long as they don't stop me seeing my girl then I'll take their advice.

Grace

"Oh Ana darling." I gasp when I see what she's done. There's brown locks everywhere, all over the bathroom floor and Ana's beautiful long hair now sits on her shoulders in a jagged mess.

She doesn't look at me or respond to me whatsoever. Her hands grip tight to the edge of the basin, shaking with the strength of her hold, her knuckles white. She's staring at herself in the mirror, eyes red raw, tears dropping one by one like the tap hasn't quite been shut off properly.

I don't think her mind is in this room right now and with a pair of scissors inches away from her hand I don't think it's a good idea for me to do anything but wait for the moment to pass.

I can't believe she's cut all her beautiful hair! I don't understand but I also can't leave her to go and get help, not with those scissors there. Not that I think she's do anything but I don't want to take the risk either.

"Ana darling, please let's go to the bedroom." I say gently hoping to pull her out of her mind. She blinks for the first time since I've stood here and she meets my gaze in the mirror. "Come on, lets go to the bedroom." I say my hand reaching out towards her and I'm so relieved when she turns around and takes it, allowing me to lead her away from the carnage in the bathroom.

"Why didn't she come Grace?" She asks so quietly, her voice hoarse.

"I don't know sweetie. I'm sure she has her reasons." I say as I pull back the comforter so Ana can get into bed.

"I needed my Mom." She says fighting back sobs. "I've never needed her like this before. I need her and she doesn't come."

My heart shatters in my chest. How can a mother let her daughter down in this way? I mean Carla knows this is important to Ana but for some reason she just couldn't make it here. I understand she came to the door, she just couldn't knock it. Why? Did that monster hurt Carla too and she's ashamed and afraid to admit it? What is it that is preventing her as a mother from coming to her daughters aid when she's needed most?

"I thought this time she'd come." Ana says quietly. "Do you remember when the twins were born?"

"You think I'd forget that?" I laugh as I run my fingers through her now short hair. I delivered the twins it's unlikely I'll ever forget it!

"She didn't come until they were nearly three months old." Ana says quietly. "I called her that night at the hospital. I was so scared Grace, so scared that there was going to be something wrong after all we'd been through and I called her and I told her I needed her here in case something happened to them... she told me not to be so silly that they'd be fine..." her voice cracks and I grit my teeth to stop myself from saying something I may regret. "It wasn't long after I ended the call you came into the room to tell me they were doing well..." Ana turns to me with a sad smile. "And I realised something that night."

"What's that sweetie?" I ask wanting to keep her talking simply because other than with the kids at lunch I'm the only person she's spoken to today.

"You've been a better mother to me in the last ten years than she's been my entire life." Ana says with such conviction and strength that I'm taken completely by surprise and I don't have a clue how I'm supposed to respond. "Thank you for that."

"Never thank me Ana my dear girl." I say before kissing her head softly just because I don't know what to say and I'm fighting my emotions here because Ana doesn't need to see me become upset because her mother has let her down yet again.

"I do want to ask you something Grace and I hope you won't be offended."

"Ask me anything." I say already intrigued by where this is going. Ana could say and ask anything right now and it would be hard for me to be offended because I know she's going through a hard time.

"You adopted your children. I feel sometimes like you adopted me too. But what I want to know is, how can you this incredible woman, be so selfless to love and raise children born to other people, love them with every fibre of your being as I know you do. Yet my mother, who birthed me herself, selfishly puts herself before me every single time?"

I have no words, I have no answer. So instead I take this girl whom I do love with every fibre of my being as she said, and I hold her tight and hope she knows that while her mother has failed her over and over again, I will do whatever I can not to ever let her down.

We're interrupted by a gentle knock on the door and it opens before Ana and I have separated. A bashful looking Ray pokes his head around the door.

"Dad." Ana smiles and I gently kiss her head before rising to make leave.

"I'll be back later Ana." I say as Ray makes his way over to the chair beside the bed. She gives me a gentle nod and I know she's going to hold me to that later visit. I won't let her down.

I make my way down to the office but before I even make it there I have to stop as the tears tumble down my cheeks. I turn and cling to the solid oak landing banister just to hold myself upright as my heart shatters inside my chest. Ana is such an Angel and has done nothing to deserve the horror that has rained down on her. But to do it while also coming to terms with the fact that her mother won't ever, even in these most horrific circumstances, put her first breaks me.

Ana is right about something. I have adopted her as one of my own. I didn't do it deliberately and I never set out to replace Carla. I just always knew Ana needed a mother figure who was closer to her in miles than her own mother was. I never, however, knew that Ana never truly had a mother who put her first above all else and had I known I'd have made a greater effort to be there for her. I just wish Ana had been a bit more open with me about what her Mother was like.

"Mom?" Christian comes out the office and I quickly wipe my tears to try and hide them from my son but I'm not fast enough and within a couple of strides he's standing in front of me, looking down at me with concern etched in every contour of his face.

"I'm fine." I reassure him but he cocks that eyebrow at me knowing I'm not being completely honest. "Did you know how bad Ana's relationship was with her Mom?"

"What do you mean?" He asks nervously.

"You know, how much she lets Ana down. Not coming when Ana asks for her, like when the twins were born." I try to keep it casual because I just want to know what he knows and not make him feel like he's done anything wrong.

"Mom I'm really confused. Ana asked for her when the twins were born? You know I'd have flown the jet right out there to collect her if Ana had told me." Christian says and I smile sadly. My suspicions are correct, Ana hasn't been confiding in Christian when she's felt her mother has let her down.

"She says she called her from the hospital and asked her to come. She was scared her girls wouldn't make it." I explain and I see the sadness fill his eyes, he knows what it means.

"Carla has let Ana down a lot over the years." He mutters. "She didn't come to Ana's graduation. I remember that specifically because Ana went out there not long after but Ana wouldn't talk to me about it. We were new, I don't think she felt comfortable putting that kind of pressure on the relationship." He says and I nod. I knew about graduation. "I don't know if it's happened much again because she's never said anything."

"It's ok Christian." I reassure him. He does not need to be worrying about Ana's relationship with her Mom right now. There are bigger things to worry about like getting Ana to a healthy weight and confronting the PTSD.

"There is one other thing." He says thoughtfully. "When she arrived the night before the wedding. I remember her texting me to say she'd had a message to say her Mom had arrived and I remember her saying something like at least I know she'll show up to this and it was odd. I mean I think it hit me then that Carla has a habit of not showing up."

I nod with my son, I think he's right. Carla doesn't show up and I think that's possibly had a bigger impact on Ana than anyone has ever known before. We're pulled form our thoughts when Ray exits the bedroom and he comes straight over to us.

"She's sleeping." he says.

"Good now someone needs to go in there to remove the scissors from the basin." I say remembering suddenly about them.

"Scissors?" My son asks confused.

"Yes. She's cut her hair off." And there again for the hundredth time in as many days I see a look of utter devastation fill my son's face.