Fanfiction
Account settings
(Skipper's POV)
We had just finished our "worst" fanfic on Rico's account "KaboomTNTC4" and posted it. It contained chapters with one or two liners, an interactive section, a whole chapter dedicated to an author's note, a chapter that was a preview, bad grammar, MST, Text format, multiple copies of the same chapter, a non-fanfiction chapter, chapters were all the words were in All Caps, lists, bloopers, polls, challenges, nonfictional and non-historical characters, a Q&A chapter, and a choose your adventure chapter. We then changed locations and characters to fit multiple categories. We end responded to critical comments with rude remarks.
Suddenly an alarm went off, "Multiple guideline violations!"
"What's the worst that can happen," I said, "Rico's account gets taken down."
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," a voice said.
"Says who?" I said.
"Fanfiction Guideline enforcement," a voice said.
We all turned to see a security guard standing there.
"You and what army," I replied.
Suddenly two more "guideline enforcers" appeared, "you violated fanfiction guidelines…your account and stories will be removed. We going to have to ask you to leave."
"FanFiction Content Guidelines have been violated by author KaboomTNTC4," another guideline enforcer said.
"The worst x-over fanfic ever was reported and removed," a fanfiction logo said, "initiate account termination!"
"Guideline: The chapter system is not to be used as placeholder for non-story content such as author notes. Violated," another guard said as guideline enforces surrounded us.
Alarms blared as other users went about posting, commenting, reading, and writing stories.
"Rico log out," I said.
"Guideline: FanFiction is not an archive for non-fanfiction literary works. Violated."
Rico logged out, "On my mark get ready to run."
"Guideline: Entries not allowed. Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc. Violated. One or two liners. Violated. MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story. Violated. Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc. Violated. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc. Violated. Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue-based entries. Violated."
"Is that really a good idea?" Private said.
"Guideline: Actions not allowed."
"On my mark Private," I said.
"Multiple entries of the same material. Violated."
"I will not sit in what counts as a prison in this place," I said.
"There can only be one copy of any unique story on the entire site. No exceptions. Violated."
"Rewriting names of characters/locations of one story in order to upload to multiple categories. Violated."
"Copying from a previously published work (including musical lyrics) not in the public domain. Violated."
Private and I glared at Rico who just shrugged.
"Guideline: General Rules."
"On my mark!" I said as the Guideline enforcers surrounded us.
"Entry title and summary must be rated K for all audience. No exceptions. Violated. Entry must be given the proper rating. No exceptions. Violated. Entry must be placed in proper category. No exceptions. Violated."
"All guidelines have been Violated. Sentence: termination of Account and Removal of stories."
"Run!" I shouted.
"Do not run!" a big and scary guideline enforcer with shades shouted.
"Retreat!" I shouted and the three of us retreated.
"We have a runner," The guideline enforcer said.
"Bring in The Grammar Police!" another guideline enforcer said.
"The Grammar Police!?" Private as blue uniformed Police with "Fanfiction Grammar and Violation Enforcement Police Department FFGVEPD" on their badges.
"We can still make it out of here!" I shouted.
Rico hacked up a gumball machine and released a 'oil slick' of gumballs. The FF police and the Guideline enforcers that were chasing us slipped and slammed into on another. Some user avatars got smashed leading to their browsers crashing in the real world. And some guideline enforces slammed into important looking code plunging the building into darkness. All over the globe fanfiction writers slammed their keyboards or laptops down in frustration as Fanfiction crashed. Later in the day the Fanfiction IT would tweet that they were now working on retrieving any data that may been lost due to a "unknown system error" that caused a service blackout. And also, that the IT team had removed several Guideline violating fanfictions and accounts that may have caused the error.
The blackout of the website caused all the user avatars, netizens, and guideline enforcers to freeze. Under the cover of darkness, we slipped back into the main building and towards the main entrance. We looked though the clear floor and under the "here lays…" sign. We saw a folder labeled "ka-boomTNTC4" with a file sticking out with the title of "worst crossover fanfic ever". It was stuck midfall in its descent towards the garbage pile of removed stories and accounts that extended into the abyss below. We moved towards the entrance and out of the building.
"Whew," Rico said.
"That was a close one," Private said.
Suddenly a Red car-like flying vehicle slid to a stop in front of us. A door opened revealing Marlene and Kowalski inside. Kowalski took one look at the blacked-out website building then glared at us. Rico shrugged, Private gave a guilty expression, and I pointed an accusatory flipper at Rico.
"Get in," Kowalski said barely containing his anger.
"We may want to cool it on the fanfiction for a while," Private said.
"GET IN THE WEB BROSWER!" Kowalski shouted.
"That we may or may not have stolen," Marlene said as we piled in.
Kowalski closed the door muttered something about "idiots" and "can't send them anywhere" Kowalski hit the gas and we sped away from fanfiction in comfy. Why then we thought of st…borrowing one of these? This is more comfortable then those cramped little cubes.
"So how did you find us?" Private said.
"Simply we just went to that friendly owl with the autofill problem," Kowalski replied.
"What took you so long?" I said.
"Well we would have went right here from the place we got this thing from," Kowalski said, "but somebody just had to be curious about slaughter race. And a character from a candy-themed arcade racing game going in there!"
"What just what to know why such a innocent character ended up in such a violent crime-themed game."
"And then just had to decide," Kowalski continued, "let's steal one of the main NPC's super-fast muscle car! You know for kick's!"
"I almost got killed by a leaf blower!" Kowalski said.
"Sorry," Marlene said.
"I almost got mauled by a Pitbull," Kowalski said.
"Sorry for that too."
"I also got eaten by a Great White in a sewer!"
"Sorry again."
"I almost died in a flaming car!"
"Sorry once again," Marlene said.
"You just had to hurt that candy girl's feelings too!" Kowalski said, "her big strong friend in the red shirt almost wreaked me…us!"
"Wreaked?" Skipper said, "please tell me Marlene didn't tick off…"
"I'M GOING TO WREAK IT!"
"Yes, she did," Kowalski said, "she angered Wreak-it Ralph."
"Look out!" Private said there was a red blur and the web browser got knocked out of the sky.
We spun out of control and headed towards a website labeled "Lunacorn World."
"No. No! NOOOO!" I shouted as we crashed through the entrance.
Luckily, Kowalski managed to pull up quickly and flew us out of there. Rico and I cheered while Private let out a disappointed whimper. Unfortunately, our vehicle then fell out of the sky again…and it crashed sliding towards…oh no.
"That going to inconvenience a lot of people," Private said.
We crashed into Amazon and the website's building went dark. That then sent us spinning towards…Knowsmore's search bar.
"Isn't that interesting," he said as the flaming wreak spun towards him.
Then he realized something, "o…"
"Oklahoma, Ozarks, ozone, Oh Canada."
"CURSE YOU AUTOFILL!" Knowsmore shouted as we smashed through the building.
"Not my search histories!" he shouted as they went up in flames.
We then barreled through a crowd of netizens knocking screens onto them causing several people to lose their internet. The web browser then jumped a railing and flipped into the dark ruins of the old web. We flew through a pile of ruined website building and old code before coming to a rest in the dark web.
"Well it could be worst," I said.
And then the web browser died leaving us in the seedy underworld of The Internet.
(end of chapter six)