Author's note: My apologies for the time it has taken to get this updated. I have moved house, had tonsillitis, had a child hospitalized etc etc. I.e. RL got to the point where everything else went on the back burner. Thanks to Ilarina for giving the majority of this a read-over and assuring me I haven't lost it totally as a writer. Obviously all mistakes are mine.

Warning: ANGST. (It's only going to get worse).

FEBRUARY – PART ONE

He'd ask Kurt for advice except he's not sure what Kurt could say to be reassuring. So he muddles along, trying to be extra attentive both in bed and out. Nothing eases or erases the churning in his stomach completely though, that if he doesn't make it special somehow that Seb will replace him with someone who suits him better. Like Kurt. The more he thinks about it the more he knows he's right, and also that he's missed something between them.

Kurt has also been more attentive, but seems to be almost apologetic in his actions, or soothing, and even though Sebastian is trying to ignore Kurt; Dave knows Sebastian's aware of it on some level, like he's trying too hard to ignore him. He wants to know what's happened, however he doesn't want to ask. Scared of the answer. For all Kurt's actions, he doesn't seem aware that Sebastian even likes him like that. However Dave knows what Sebastian looks like when he finds someone attractive, not only because most of the time it's directed at him. Despite his fears nothing happens, Sebastian also seems even more attentive than usual and he wonders if he's jumping at ghosts, or whether Sebastian is feeling guilty. That thought makes him sick. Kurt seems to be crying less, which makes him feel a little better about monopolizing more of Sebastian's time.

Valentine's Day is right there, and he's been trying to figure out what to do since New Year's. He doesn't exactly want to ask Kurt, because he still feels a little awkward with the memory of Valentine's Day last year, and Seb knows he's a soft gooey romantic so is probably expecting something along those lines. There are lots of things they could do, but he's mindful of the fact that he has limited funds and he hates that Sebastian is probably going to use it as an excuse to spoil him. Not that he minds that Sebastian wants to spoil him, what he doesn't like is the fact that it throws the disparity in their income into sharp relief. He might just have to go with a tried and true romantic evening, even if part of him is quietly and sinisterly insisting that Sebastian would rather have that type of evening with Kurt. A louder voice in his head tells him he's being ridiculous and repeats over and over that Sebastian loves him, which he knows is true as well, however it still makes him second guess everything as he plans an evening for them to enjoy.

He wonders if they're going to make it to a year together, wonders if he's not going to need to worry about a gift for their anniversary and he hates that his mind is taking him to such a dark place but he's also trying to be realistic. Relationships evolve. This is his first real relationship, Seb's too, and he knows the amount of growing and maturing that will happen in the next few years will push all his relationships. He'd always figured he was more mature than his peers, Sebastian too, but right now he definitely doesn't feel mature at all.

FAF

They haven't had much time to cook together recently, so he jumps at the offer when Dave asks him and they make a quick trip to the supermarket before starting, leaving Sebastian studying for some big assignment he has. They decide on something pasta based, because not only does it make great leftovers but he knows Dave will eat as much as he wants without feeling guilty. They're in the middle of prep, having bought fresh pasta rather than making it from scratch, something Dave insists is easy and well worth it he finds he doesn't really want to put in all that much effort.

The chicken, mushrooms and bacon are cut and sautéed along with the onion all in separate pans. He's infinitely glad that there's a dishwasher and that Dave has become more of a clean-as-you-go type given Sebastian's complete inability to do dishes. There's cream with salt and pepper being reduced in another pan and he watches as Dave puts the chicken, bacon, mushrooms and onion all into the same pan, leaving a space free for him to put water onto the boil for the pasta.

They're not really talking, just working in companionable silence, sharing a grin as Dave splashes in a small amount of dry white wine to help balance the flavors of the sauce. His mouth is watering as he starts on the salad. There's crusty bread as well, and he knows the anticipation is all part of the enjoyment of a good meal. Dave is still grumbling about the store bought pasta as he drops it into the boiling water and Kurt just rolls his eyes, laughing when Dave catches him and pokes out his tongue.

"I'll convert you, you know. Nothing beats homemade pasta."

"You've only been converted to that thought yourself since summer. You might have the arms for turning that handle, but I certainly don't."

Dave blushes and he laughs again, because surely that's not the most embarrassing compliment Dave's received. Hell, he's with Sebastian, he probably turns Dave tomato red all the time in bed. He bites his lip and hopes he isn't blushing himself, because again thinking of Dave and Sebastian and what they might get up to in bed makes his entire body heat. The worst thing is he doesn't even have to imagine all of it, his mind still throws up the memory of them having sex just outside his bedroom.

"These arms have to be good for something…" Dave mutters under his breath, eyes on the ground and Kurt just shakes his head, simultaneously glad Dave isn't looking at him but also bemused that Dave doesn't believe his arms are… attention worthy. He coughs.

"So, I'll leave you to set the table. I'm just going to nip into the bathroom."

"Sure, leave me the dishes…"

"No! I'll be right back! "

"Jesus Kurt, just go. I was joking…"

He rolls his eyes, because sometimes he finds it hard to tell with him.

"I'll be right back. I meant it! Leave the dishes!"

"There's a dishwasher, and we already washed half of them anyway. I'll start them if you aren't back by the time I've finished setting the table."

"Okay, that's a good compromise."

Dave rolls his eyes at him and he holds back the instinct to poke his tongue and he's sure he hears Dave mutter something under his breath about the ridiculousness of arguing over dishes.

FAF

He grits his teeth, knowing Kurt can't have seen this yet. It's not like he went looking, but he should probably unfriend him after this, because he does not need this shit. He wonders if he should go and tell Kurt, whether that would be a good or bad thing to do. He can hear them in the kitchen, arguing about something and laughing. He could be a complete asshole and bring Kurt's good mood crashing to the ground, or he could wait for Kurt to find it himself. He doesn't know and wonders if maybe he should ask Dave for advice.

"Hey. Almost finished?"

He looks up to the door and Dave is standing there, shoulder resting against the door jamb, soft smile on his face and his stomach does it's familiar, but-still-weird, flip and clench.

"Hi…" he says, smiling back and he wonders if he's completely imagining the slight sadness in Dave's eyes. "Yeah. I'm done. Just… can I ask you something?"

"Hey! No quickies! He's busy helping me do the dishes!" Kurt's voice calls down the hall and he grins and shakes his head, amused rather than annoyed at the imperious tone of Kurt's voice. He totally wouldn't put it past Kurt to drench them both in ice if they interrupted a dinner with sex.

"Trust me Kurt, I would need longer for a quickie," he calls back instead, eyes intent on Dave's.

"Hey, what do you mean help? I already did most of them!" Dave exclaims, followed by, "Oh god, Sebastian!"

"More than I needed to know thanks!" Kurt calls back with a laugh and he can hear him walking back into the kitchen.

"You wanted to ask me something?"

"Ah, yeah…" he glances at his computer screen again and he knows his expression must sour because Dave is in the room and behind him, head bending down to have a look at his Facebook page.

"Uh, what are you doing looking at his page for?" He pauses. "What is it?"

"Just… here. Look." He highlights the offending post and holds his breath, wondering exactly what Dave will make of it.

What a fantastic night! And morning. On to better and brighter things – with Eli Chapman.

"What a fucking asshole."

"Yeah. My thoughts exactly." He gets that Blaine might be feeling hurt, is lashing out, but he'd kind of hoped he had more class than this. Obviously he hoped wrong. "What should we do?"

Dave lets out a long sigh, looking sad and Sebastian frowns, not sure what it is that gotten him so down.

"Be there for him I guess. And make sure he sees this while we're around so we can… be there."

"So, we show it to him now?"

Dave pulls a fuck no face, sighs again and then shrugs helplessly.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"Yeah, obviously you find that idea as appealing as I do. Fuck."

"Seriously you two! What is keeping you?" Kurt appears in the doorway. "Dinner is actually on the table. Something Dave clearly forgot to mention. You aren't looking at… you know what? I don't want to know what you are looking at. Dinner's ready!"

Kurt disappears from the doorway and is gone so fast his heart and stomach don't even have time to freak out and leave their usual permanent positions. He lets out a long slow breath and stands up, feeling Dave's arm slide around him in a gentle hug which he returns gratefully. He's not used to caring so much about one person, let alone two, and this is going to hurt Kurt when he sees it. He just wishes he could somehow delete it from existence.

FAF

He hears them talking, whispering really, as they come up the hallway, which is unusual, because neither of them are what he would describe as quiet. When Sebastian comes into the room he looks angry, which is strange. While he's pretty sure Sebastian has been avoiding him for the last few days, uncomfortable with his silent declaration, maybe worried that Kurt would make fun of him for some reason. Which just goes to show how little Sebastian really knows him.

Something has happened just now though, and it puts an awkward feel to everything. He'd like to demand that they tell him, except it might be a couple thing, and he's not going to interfere in their relationship. Not unless he really has to anyway. He knows something is up because Dave has been quieter than usual, but he's just put it down to the month, with everything that happened this time last year. They all sit, wine in glasses and a really awkward silence as they start to eat, not the usual comfortable silence that falls when they're all just busy eating and enjoying their food.

"Have you seen Facebook?"

He blinks at the question, chances a quick look at Dave who doesn't meet his eye. He frowns, looking back to Sebastian and shakes his head slowly.

"No. Why? Should I look?"

Sebastian stares at him, teeth gritted and then shakes his head.

"No, it's stupid. It's not worth your time. Really not worth your time."

He scoffs, because that's a thousand red flags.

"Well now I have to look."

Dave laughs, but it sounds a little hysterical and forced. He swallows, suddenly nervous of what he might see, because this is the reason Sebastian and Dave are being… weird. He pulls his phone from his pocket and opens the Facebook app. He doesn't go on very much anymore, maybe once a week to catch up with what everyone else is doing. He avoids Blaine's profile, although he's pretty sure whatever this is, is Blaine related.

What a fantastic night! And morning. On to better and brighter things – with Eli Chapman.

There's an accompanying photo, and he doesn't even need to study it in detail to be able to see stubble burn and swollen lips. He knows he doesn't have a right to feel possessive or jealous, but he still feels hurt. And jealous. Something in his silence must say something, because Dave is reaching and taking his phone from him, reading the status update before putting his phone back on the counter.

"Well, I guess he's moved through denial and is in the angry stage now?" Dave asks, and he looks apologetic. Yeah. This is definitely what they had been talking about.

"Yeah. I guess."

He wants to go to his room, curl up and cry. There's something in Dave's statement though, it does feel like Blaine's lashing out, angry, and he wonders if it would be petty to make some pithy comment about being glad that Blaine's finally moving on. The food in front of him is now as appealing as cardboard and he wonders if he could order in pizza without them noticing. Melted cheese. He really needs melted cheese and carbs right now.

"I… would ice cream help?" Sebastian asks, and he looks a little lost, like he wants to say something that will help. Which is amusing, because Sebastian doesn't need to say anything, his entire attitude about the whole thing is comfort enough in a weird way.

"You know what, I think it might. As long as it's accompanied by a side of pizza."

Dave laughs again, but it sounds more natural, and something seems to have relaxed between them all and god it feels good to have them back to themselves. He just hopes it lasts.

FAF

He's waiting for dinner, something he has been smelling for the last few hours. It's Valentine's Day, but they're having two, seeing as Dave had insisted on doing his thing, he'd dug his heels in and insisted in doing his own as well. So they have dinner in tonight, and then dinner out tomorrow night. Things seem better. He feels better. The whole aberration of telling Kurt he loves him something he's no longer obsessing over. Much.

He knows Dave has picked up on it. His boyfriend isn't stupid and he's not as subtle as he thinks. He's forced himself to try and act normal, reassure himself that sure, okay, maybe he does love Kurt, but only as a friend, because let's face it, he doesn't actually have that many of them. So of course it's natural to start having strong feelings toward someone. Even if he used to despise that someone. He laughs at himself inwardly.

"So, what do you think? I'm asking you because I'll know you be honest."

Kurt is standing in front of him and he blinks, sitting a little straighter in the sofa. Tight jeans, because he's sure those are the only type Kurt owns, shirt with the usual accents he still considers a little over-the-top for himself, but very much intrinsically Kurt. He looks good, which is normal for Kurt, but he seems to have taken more care than normal.

"You're all dressed up. You look… passable." He knows if he compliments him outright then it'll likely make them both uncomfortable. Or maybe just him. Fuck.

"Yeah. I… I guess I have a date?"

"Really?" Dave asks, coming to stand not far behind Kurt, and he just looks at them, appreciates their contrasting appearances but also how good they both look, both individually and together. Dave is frowning, and he realizes that he's frowning too.

"I didn't realize you were ready to start dating again."

Kurt shrugs, mutters under his breath that he's probably not ready and he wants to ask why he's going on a fucking date then. He takes a mental break and lets out a slow breath.

FAF

"Anyone we know?" Seb asks, and he sounds calm. Almost alarmingly so, like he's forcing himself not to care and he wonders just how much Seb does care. He forces himself to not start obsessing over it. They've been open and honest with each other since the first time they met, so he has to stop doing this to himself.

"Unless you've started at NYADA then no, not anyone you know."

"So… who is he?" Dave asks, because it's not like Kurt to not mention something like this.

"Just… a guy. He's nice. Older. Sophisticated. English. Cute."

"How much older?" Sebastian asks sharply.

"Twenty-two, and like you can talk!"

"What's his name? In case we have to call the police," Dave interjects, trying to soothe whatever it is that's flared up between them and the look Kurt gives him is completely incredulous.

"You're not going to have to call the police!"

"Please Kurt. We just… we want to know you're safe okay?"

"Oh my god! Fine! His name is Adam Crawford. Here, I'll send you his contact info. And I really don't think you'll need to ring the police."

"We just… want you to be safe okay?"

"Oh my god! We're going for coffee. But I'll be sure to let him know he has to fight through you two if he's actually interested in anything more. Which… I don't think is on the cards for me anyway, but he's a nice guy okay, and if I turned him down then you would both be telling me not to shut myself out!"

Dave shares a look with Seb, because Kurt totallyhas a point there.

"I'm…," he lets it run off and just sighs. "Have fun okay?"

Kurt shrugs, huffs in annoyance but he can tell he's also secretly pleased at their concern, which is a relief because Kurt in a mood is exhausting.

"Wait, did… are you guys staying in because you think I needed company?" He and Seb exchange a look. They may have discussed it. In detail. "Fuck! You two are hopeless! Why didn't you just ask me? I only really accepted because I didn't want to be in your way tonight. Just… enjoy having the apartment to yourselves." Kurt pauses. "Please don't have sex on my bed."

"You ruin all our fun," Seb deadpans, although he has to say the idea of having sex in Kurt's bed does hold a certain amount of appeal. He shakes his head roughly, dispelling the thought. He tries not to think of Kurt and sex, because that way lies madness. Also he shouldn't need to because he has Sebastian, and that is more than enough. Kurt leaves, waving his fingers as he closes the door and Dave recalls their visit to the hockey game last month. Kurt won't be single long and he scrunches his face up thinking again about the possibility that Kurt could possibly end up with someone worse than Blaine. Although now that he's been such a jackass on Facebook that might be hard, but he scrubs at his face, not really sure what he's feeling exactly.

"Kurt's definitely not going to be single for too long."

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, just you remember a couple of weeks ago when I took Kurt to the hockey game so he could…vent?"

"Yeah, he complained about the damage to his throat. Why?"

"Yeah well, some guy hit on him there. Insisted Kurt take his card. And now he's got guys asking him out and he's saying yes. Even if he says he's not ready, he's going to be ready at some point and… I didn't like Blaine, but you know the saying about the devil you know?"

Seb snorts and he grins, letting himself fall into the sofa next to him, pulling Seb into his lap before kissing him, wondering if dinner would be completely ruined if they skipped it and instead went straight to the bedroom.

FAF

"Your mind doesn't seem completely here."

"Oh! I'm sorry, it's just…"

"The recent break up. It's okay."

"It's not actually that. Well, not completely." He's not sure how to explain that he feels like he's somehow cheating on Sebastian and Dave by going on a date. And it's definitely a date, Adam is attentive and charming and if he were a different person at a different point in his life he would be laughing and smiling and reveling under the attention. Except he's not. "Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm not ready for this," he waves his hand between them and Adam raises an eyebrow.

"That's fine. I also meant it when I said I'm happy with just being your friend. I like you, that's a good basis for friendship as much as anything else."

He bites his lip, because as much as Adam says that he still feels like friendship might be leading him on in some way. "I mean it Kurt. I won't lie and say I'm not interested in more, obviously I am otherwise I wouldn't have asked you out. However if friendship is all that's all on offer then that's fine too."

Something in him relaxes and he nods, feeling a little better. He's known Adam for months now, been aware of his interest but not done anything about it. He'd been with Blaine up until six weeks ago, and now… Now he's single. And friends, other single friends are good, because as much as he adores and loves Dave and Sebastian he's certain that he must cramp their style sometimes. He must do. He talks, listens as Adam talks, scrunches his nose in amusement every time Adam says something particularly funny in his accent, and lets himself just enjoy being for once.

Time slips by, coffee turns into a snack, another hour passes and they give in and order something more substantial. He hopes that Dave and Sebastian are having a good time and knows they will be, because he hasn't seen a couple better than them in a long time, even if their sex life makes him feel a little uncomfortable.

"You talk about them a lot."

"Hmm, who?" He starts suddenly, realizing who Adam is referring to and feeling a little bad. "Oh, I didn't realize. Sorry."

"It's okay. I'd like to meet your other friends. They sound like they care about you a lot. And you about them."

"Too much sometimes."

The look Adam gives him is contemplative but then the conversation diverges off again to classes at NYADA and suddenly it's after twelve when the server takes their coffee cups, tight smile on their face and he sends them an apologetic look, leaving a generous tip alongside Adam's as a more substantial apology.

"Look, don't take this the wrong way, but do you want to come back to my place? Just seems like you don't want to go home."

He wraps his scarf tightly, fingers on the buttons of his jacket to delay answering. Part of him would like to, but he also wonders what Dave and Sebastian might think. Screw it.

"I… I really want to say yes."

"But? I hear a but coming…"

"No. No but. Just let me text them and tell them, otherwise we risk your apartment being broken into by the police."

The look Adam gives him is slightly alarmed but he waves his hand, trying to convey how crazy he thinks Sebastian and Dave are but also trying to calm the racing of his heart. He knows nothing is going to happen, but he feels risqué regardless, adventurous as he quickly thumbs out a quick message to both Dave and Sebastian.

FAF

The dual vibrations of his and Dave's phones wake him and he glares at the bedside table where the phones lay side-by-side, screens now lit up. His first instinct is to roll over, ignore it and pull his pillow over his head but something makes him reach for it instead. New text from Kurt and he's suddenly wide awake, sitting up and swiping his phone open and pinning in his passcode.

Staying at Adam's. All good. See you later today.

Huh.

He puts his phone back down, sees the same message on Dave's phone and wonders why he feels so… sick. And a little upset and angry. He's not even sure why. He lets his fingers run through Dave's hair, smiles at the little snuffling sounds he makes in response and wonders what the fuck is wrong with him. It doesn't take him long before he realizes he's jealous. He's not used to the feeling, but now that he's thinking about it he realizes that he's felt like this before. He stops and processes it, trying to figure out if he's jealous of Kurt, or of Adam.