Anastasia
"I'm home!" I call as I step into the house after my first appointment with Tamara. I'm exhausted after a long day at work and I'm ready for a bath and my bed.
Tamara was amazing. After I punched Christian I knew I needed her help. I've been having so many flashbacks and anxiety attacks but when I lashed out I realised I couldn't cope with it on my own. That scared me that I could react like that. I've never hit anyone like that before, and to do it to the man I love more than life itself. Well, I get it now, I'm not completely healed and I've got a way to go.
Christian's face bruised pretty bad. The family found it hilarious and he was the butt of all jokes but I felt sick every time I looked at him. I didn't know I was capable of such an extremely violent reaction. I also didn't know I had that kind of strength. Tamara says it's fight or flight and that was my fight reaction and I would have found strength I didn't normally have in my fearful state. That makes sense I guess.
"Hello?" I ask going into the kitchen. I know it's later than usual on me getting home but it's not late exactly. Normally Patricia is here till ten pm and Jason takes her home. The twins should be asleep but Phoebe and Teddy would be having an hour of TV before bed normally at this time. They're such good kids.
I make my way upstairs and I first check on the twins. True enough they're fast asleep in their beds. I watch them. My babies. They won't be the babies for long. I wonder how they're going to take to a new brother. I imagine it will be harder for them as twins having to already share the attention to add another baby into the mix. But I'm sure they'll learn to love him and accept him eventually. We had a bit of a hard time with jealousy with Teddy when Phoebe was born. Phoebe was very accepting of the twins because she was just that little bit older. I do worry about the twins with the new baby though. They'll be nearly four when he comes along so I'm hoping they'll be that much older and that much more mature and we'll have an easier ride of it.
I close the door quietly behind me and smile, my babies, the next stop is Phoebe's bedroom.
"Hey Mommy." She smiles from where she's laying on her bed with The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I have fostered my children's love of books and I love it. Christian and I agreed no TVs in the bedrooms, but they have plenty of books here which they will get stuck into when they have to be in their rooms. So often I've checked on them at night and found them asleep with a book in hand. That was exactly what I was like as a kid but I often woke in the morning with the book there too. I don't know if Ray ever checked on me when I was asleep but he never moved my books!
"Hey Princess." I head into the room and kiss her head. "Where are you?" I ask signalling the book.
"Lucy is having tea with Mr Tummnus." She says with a smile. I've read this book with her so many times and I'm glad she's still able to enjoy it. I still go back to my old favourites when I need the escape. It's always like coming home. It looks like Phoebe is the same.
"Did you have a good day at school?" I ask and she frowns a little. "What is it?"
"Emily says her Mommy won't let her come to the Halloween party this year because Amaya was taken. She says it isn't safe here."
I purse my lips and think before I speak. This is one of the safest houses in the country short of the White House. Surely the parents know that. Maybe it's just the kid making things up so I need to tread carefully.
"Oh honey, I'll tell you what. I'll call Emily's mommy closer to the time to discuss it and see if Emily can come if you want her to." I tell her giving her knee a squeeze.
"Mommy we are safe here aren't we?" She asks and I smile sadly at her, it hurts my heart to hear her ask such a question. At home, our kids should know they're safe and secure.
"Of course we are princess. What happened to Amaya was... a bad man wanted to hurt Mommy. So that's why he took Amaya. He got lucky. We have more security now keeping us safe than we did when Amaya was taken." I feel so helpless trying to explain this to her. We are safe, so safe. But if she feels unsafe I don't know how I can help her. This is why the kids need professional help, to deal with these emotions as I don't have a clue. "You are in one of the safest places in the whole wide world, we have lots of security keeping us safe. Amaya was taken in the store remember, not from home."
"And the bad man is in jail."
"Yes he is." I smile as she seems to be taking this in her stride. "You are safe Phoebe. So safe."
"I know Mommy." She says and I kiss her again before getting to my feet.
"Half an hour more. Then sleep please." I tell her and she nods and before I've turned around to leave she's back with her book.
I next step into Teddy's room and I find him also with his nose in a book. He's reading Artemis Fowl a favourite of his at the moment. Unlike Phoebe and I, Teddy likes new books, he is rarely found re-reading something he's read before. I don't know if that is because he hasn't found those kinds of books yet or if he just is the kind of person who gets the story once and moves on.
"Hey Mom." He smiles.
"Hey Teddy." I go to him and kiss his head before sitting on the bed. "Did you have a good day at school?"
"Yeah I got a B on my maths test though. Sorry." He looks embarrassed.
"A B is a great grade Teddy." I tell him and he smiles a little uncertain, but a B really is a great grade and I'm really happy for him.
"But I usually get As." He says and I laugh a little, that's my boy, always striving to be the best.
"Teddy first we can't all be good at everything. Secondly...it's been a tough time. To get a B after everything we've been through recently is amazing and I'm so proud of you." I tell him hoping to convince him to see that too.
"I'll do better next time." He says bashfully.
"Did you try your very best?" I ask him and he nods. "Then you did all you could. I'm so proud of you Teddy." I tell him and he smiles again. I don't want him to beat himself up because he got a lower than usual grade. Especially right now when we're all still adjusting to what happened with Morton and Hyde. "Right half an hour then sleep." I say getting to my feet.
"Yes Mom." He replies and I kiss him again. My eldest but still one of my babies. Doesn't matter how old he gets, he'll always be my baby Teddy.
Christian
I hear Ana come into the house but there's still no sign of her over twenty minutes later. I know Ana, she's probably gone to check on the kids.
I sit on the bed looking at what I've done to our bedroom. It's bathed in candlelight and I have a hot bath waiting for her with roses and candles and then a picnic supplied by Patricia with alcohol free wine and then I have massage oils.
Tamara was right, we can be intimate without sex and I'm going to do all I can to remind Ana how much I love her and when she's truly ready I'm going to worship every inch of her body and make sweet and passionate love to her.
"Christian?" Ana asks as she opens the bedroom door and I jump to my feet just in time to see her come in and look around in wonder.
"Welcome home Anastasia." I breathe and she smiles shyly at me.
"What have you done?" She asks shutting the door behind her.
"I thought you deserved a pamper." I tell her and I take her hand and lead her into the bathroom.
"Oh Christian this is beautiful." She says as I peel her out of her business jacket.
"You're going to have a hot bath, I'm going to give you a face mask, then we have some food and wine and I'm going to give you a massage." I tell her and she giggles softly. "Music to my ears." I tell her and she rewards me with more giggles.
I get her naked and help her into the bath. As I sit on the edge, watching her roll her neck and relax into the water, I can't help but admire her naked form. Our unborn child growing in it's mother's womb, she has a prominent bump now and I can't wait to meet this one, our last.
"You know this would be more enjoyable if you were in here with me." She says erotically.
"Ana... romantic and intimate without sex." I warn her and she holds her hands up in surrender. "And if I got in there with you I don't know how I'd be able to keep my hands off you." I add already feeling the need to adjust myself and she admits defeat.
I put on her expensive face mask that Mia bought her for Christmas. She giggles the entire time I'm putting it on. I had to call Mia for directions on how to do this and she gave me an entire lecture about it. Goodness women go to way too much effort sometimes.
"Don't laugh you'll crack it." I tell her and she purses her lips and tries to stop herself. "Now relax." I tell her before going to wash the green gunk from my fingers. I don' know why women do this to themselves, I mean how is having this clay drying on your face relaxing, then it doesn't seem to be the easiest thing to get off either.
I take the time she's in the bath to change into some pyjama bottoms and get Ana's towel and nightgown ready. I want her to feel loved and cherished tonight. That's the aim. I know she will have had a tough time with Tamara and I want her to put it behind her and relax for the weekend. It's her birthday next week and I just want her to be able to enjoy it all.
When Ana's face mask is completely set I bring a fresh bowl of water for her to wash it off before I wash her hair and her body from top to toe. She is very agreeable tonight which is marvellous. It makes it all so much easier and more enjoyable for me too.
After she's out of the bath I dry her and dress her and she complies without a word. She responds to my every touch, I kiss her gently every chance I can and I am torturing myself knowing that this won't lead to sex.
I've laid out a picnic blanket on the bedroom floor and I pull out the tray that Patricia put together for us, cold cuts, a salad and lots of fruit.
"What gave you this idea?" Ana asks as I put some soft music on to keep the mood going.
"Well after what Tamara said about intimacy I wanted to show you how much I love you." I explain. "Because I do Ana. Nothing will ever change that. I love you with all that I have." She kisses me softly.
"I know. And I love you too Christian." She says before offering me a strawberry which I bite into making her laugh.
After we've eaten Ana puts the food back in the basket and I get the massage lotion out. I plan to do her feet and her bump and her back and shoulders.
Again she's agreeable and just lets me work but I realise that this massage is verging on being erotic. When I massage her bump I can smell her arousal and it's going straight to my groin. I try to focus on our unborn child in his mother's womb but it isn't easy.
I then do her back and shoulders and before things get completely out of control I get her back in her nightdress and get her into bed.
"Christian That was lovely." She says and I smile like a schoolboy at Christmas. I wanted to please her and relax her and it looks like I've achieved that. "I think Tamara was right." She says and I look at her questioningly. "We can be intimate without sex. Thank you, Christian, you made me feel like a queen."
"You are a Queen. My queen, the queen of my heart." I tell her before kissing her softly. "Always. Now sleep." She lays down and snuggles into my side and I think for the first time since this all kicked off. I know we'll be ok.