Author's note: The response to this fic (and its predecessors) has always blown me away – especially those of you reading it as a WIP and having to put up with MONTHS of waiting in between chapters (I hate authors like that so I totally understand your vitriol towards me or the desire to give up). However, if you are here you have my gratitude for sticking with it even after all this time.

This chapter starts off right after the last one – same month.

Warning: ANGST. Again. (It's only going to get worse). Mentions of suicide (past).

FEBRUARY – PART TWO

He falls asleep still wondering, woken by Dave pressing back against him and he lets himself just savor the moment; however his mind is already wondering what the time is and if Kurt is home yet which is ridiculous on so many levels because there's a hot guy in bed with him and he's worried about someone else. Someone who isn't himself or Dave.

Fuck it.

He rolls and reaches for his phone, thumbing a quick 'You still alive or do I need to call the police?' and watches his thumb twitch against the screen while he waits for a response. He notes it's only seven in the morning, but that's not early for any of them, not with their schedules and having to navigate the subway, so he fully expects Kurt to reply quickly. 'Still alive and kicking. Having a shower, breakfast and will be one my way home soon.' A part of him relaxes, knowing Kurt is fine, but the jealousy he'd identified last night flares up and he scowls, annoyed at the complete pointlessness of the emotion.

He feels Dave stir beside him and settles back into the bed, wondering when his life got so complicated. He appreciates that he's probably making it more complicated than it needs to be but he supposes he just needs time to work through it. Like he did when he first realized he wanted to be with Dave but thought it would never eventuate. The warm sense of rightness and what he can only describe as love floods though him and he snuggles closer, smiles at the quiet sounds Dave makes as he wakes.

"Hi…"

"Hi yourself handsome."

He'll never get sick of the fact that Dave blushes whenever he compliments him and he runs his fingers over the lightly haired thighs, presses himself more firmly against Dave's back and kisses his neck lightly.

"Sleep well?"

"Mmm… Yeah actually. Thought I'd be more worried about Kurt but… I guess not?"

Dave sounds a little puzzled and Sebastian finds himself pleased he's not the only one who might potentially be confused about things. He's definitely pleased that Dave hasn't spent half the night awake worrying about Kurt; it eases some of the built up tension and anxiety. He doesn't bother mentioning that Kurt has text them, just keeps his hands moving on Dave's body, relishes the feel of warm skin and responding fingers moving on his own body as Dave turns to face him.

It feels good, slow and sensual, reaffirming in a way that doesn't usually lap over into their sexual activities. He's not feeling energetic, but also knows that can change in an instant. He just wants to make out with Dave until they both come, and he grins into a kiss, knowing it'll be a sort of challenge to make Dave beg for it. They keep kissing and he lets his mouth travel over Dave's neck, his lips feeling hyper-sensitive as they rub against the coarse stubble. He licks at his collar bone, nips on his ear lobe and sucks in a breath when Dave bites lightly at his shoulder.

"What do you want?" Dave asks, voice hitching and Sebastian grins.

"To make you beg…"

"Someone's feeling confident…"

"Mmm, just want to enjoy trying."

"Oh…" Dave says, and he mouths Dave's neck again, following the red blotchiness of his blush that is now covering the top of his chest. He pushes at Dave, wanting him to lie back so he can have full access to his body and straddles one of Dave's thighs, pulling the blankets up over his shoulders to try and keep as much warmth between them as possible. Dave's hand goes to his cock and he enjoys the firm warm grip for a moment before refocusing his attention back solely to Dave.

It's something he consciously tries to work on, making Dave aware of just how attractive he finds him. He's always been into appreciating the body he's in bed with, but knowing Dave's insecurities, and how he unwittingly reinforced them means he will gladly spend a ridiculous amount of time worshipping Dave. Of course he's found that there are things he really likes about Dave's body, and he knows it's not just because he loves Dave, but because he's found himself noting other guys with the same attributes. Large muscled thighs make him want to run his hands over them, explore the texture of the hair, if there is any. Thick chests, broad shoulders – he'd never have thought that he'd like them, but he finds he does. It means he has an extra population to admire, although he's mindful to keep his eyes to himself as much as possible.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Mmm? Just how much I love your body."

His cock is hard from Dave jerking him off and he pushes against the firm muscle of Dave's thigh when Dave's hands go to cup his ass cheeks instead. He lets his hands rest on Dave's shoulders as he leans down to kiss him again, letting himself lower slowly onto Dave's body so their cocks are aligned, pressed firmly between their bodies and he undulates his hips slowly.

"There are so many things I want to do to you, you know? And I can only do one thing at a time and I think that has to be one of my biggest regrets…"

"Yeah? What do you want to do to me?"

"I want to suck you off. Rim you. Lick your nipples until you scream. Finger you. Tease you to the point of coming over and over again… let you come and then make you hard again. See how many times you can come before you beg me to stop. Fuck you. Tie you down and ride you…"

It's nothing he hasn't said before, they've shared everything they like and don't like in bed. They had an entire summer to explore each other's bodies and Sebastian feels like he knows Dave's body nearly as well as his own. He's still trying to decide what is his best bet to get Dave to beg, they haven't tried cock rings yet but fuck he wants to.

"You can… do any of that. I'm not going to complain."

"Do you have a preference right now?"

"Uh…"

He lets Dave push him up and away, watches as Dave rolls over, discarding the blankets as he rests on his hands and knees.

"You need to use your words Dave… you want me to rim you? Finger you?"

He smiles into the curve of Dave's lower back as he moans, but he's serious, Dave needs to verbalize what he wants before Sebastian will do anything. He won't necessarily do it straight away, but he does get there.

"I…" he sucks in a deep breath. "I want you to fuck my thighs." It's said fast, almost breathless and he reaches around to stroke Dave's cock, relishing the warm heavy weight where it hangs from Dave's body while rubbing his own erection against Dave's ass, legs pushed together tightly.

"I think I can do that."

He reaches for the bedside table, brings back the lube and tries to ignore the coldness when he squirts some onto his fingers. He knows it won't be cold for long. He runs a slicked finger between Dave's thighs, continuing to gently rub his erection against Dave's body which draws appreciative moans from both of them. Since the first time they tried it it's been one of their favorite things to do; and not because he's lazy, thank you very much Dave. It's something they both find equally satisfying, and when Dave asks for it, he knows it won't take him long to get off like this. He grins as he runs his clean hand all over Dave's body, tweaking a nipple and dragging teeth over his ass; his other hand reaching around to apply the remnants of lube to Dave's cock before deciding he's going to need more anyway; he really does want to make Dave beg.

He drizzles a tiny bit more lube on his finger before rubbing his finger down the cleft of Dave's ass cheeks, pushing against his hole briefly before carrying down to his perineum. He's never been with a guy with such a sensitive perineum before, but then again he's never taken the time before with other guys to find out. He's massaged Dave's prostate before, made him come in a sobbing mess by applying pressure from both directions so he knows this works.

"You… are you going to…"

"Mmm. Soon. I'll get to fucking your gorgeous legs. You know I want to try your arm one day. Between your forearm and bicep? Yeah…" his voice trails off at the thought. He has no idea if it will work but he wants to try. It might end with them both laughing their asses off but it will be worth it. Dave's arms are fucking beautiful. As he slides a finger into Dave his mind is stuck on what it might feel like, how it will be different from between his thighs, what he'll be able to touch from such a different angle.

"Oh fuck…"

That quiet exclamation brings his mind skittering back to now, his thumb and finger absentmindedly rubbing Dave's prostate, his other hand working Dave's cock too slowly to do anything other than let its existence be known. He doesn't change the pace, just keeps going slowly, bringing back some of the more languorous feelings from before, smirking a bit when Dave's hips start twitching, trying for more friction. He's already muttering under his breath, calling him an asshole and it just makes Sebastian grin wider. He's never doubted himself in bed and he's not about to start now. He lets his cock purposely drag against the back of Dave's thighs, knowing it's a harbinger of things to come, what Dave really wants.

"I want you to beg me…" Sebastian says, moving his fingers a little more firmly and ever so slightly faster before slowing down again. With the angle he can't insert more fingers beside his thumb, just keeps rubbing, knowing it will break Dave apart eventually. Although they can be as stubborn as each other and it's another ten minutes before Dave finally breaks.

"Seb, please, come on… you fucking… please."

"Beg me."

"You fucker…" Sebastian presses and rubs a bit harder knowing there's a risk that Dave might come soon but not caring too much. Dave is too generous a lover to leave him unsatisfied. "Oh fuck. Fine. I'm begging you, please…"

He pulls his hand away as answer, wiping his hand on the t-shirt he doesn't remember taking off. Runs his hands up the outside of Dave's legs, pushes them together more and Dave shifts, mutters 'fucking finally' and Sebastian presses his cock into the hot tight crease created by Dave's thighs. He feels the head of his cock push against Dave's balls, knows that that sensation is something that Dave really gets off on. Like with the fingering he starts slowly, although he's jostled suddenly when Dave drops to his shoulders, pushing his ass further back and he expects Dave to start jerking himself off.

Instead he feels fingers around the head of his penis, just pushing over the glans as he moves back and forth. Clearly something Dave has wanted to try out and he lets out a little gasp as he pushes forward and the fingers are slightly firmer than before. He can tell Dave's other hand is now jerking himself off and fuck he wishes he could see down there, Dave's hands reaching down behind his falls to fondle Seb's cock as well as his own.

Dave's thigh muscles tighten, making it tighter and he groans. He knows it's a subconscious sign from Dave that he's close, that he wants Sebastian to hurry up and come as well so he lets himself go, thrusting as hard and fast as he wants, fingers gripping Dave's hips so hard he's worried he might leave bruises. Dave stills and then groans, his body shuddering a little as he comes and then he feels Dave's fingers, slick with come touching the head of his cock every time he presses forward and that's it.

"Jesus…"

He doesn't stop moving straight away, continues until it becomes too sensitive, but enjoys the rippling tightness in Dave's leg muscles as he comes down from his orgasm induced high. They kiss slowly as he uses the towel to clean them up, a small microfiber one they've started to keep beside the bed, before letting himself lie down again and curl up against Dave, quiet and content.

"I love you…" Dave whispers, as if he's not sure Sebastian is even awake to hear him and he keeps quiet, letting Dave think that he is indeed asleep. Soon the sound of Dave's gentle breathing indicating he's asleep again fill his ears and he lets out a long quiet breath, lying still with his arm resting on Dave's chest. He falls back to sleep with his thumb stroking Dave's chest above his heart.

FAF

"So, as Valentine's Days go, how was it?"

Kurt laughs, takes the proffered mug of coffee Adam is holding out to him and pauses, recalling his Valentine's Day last year. How Dave had given him a series of days and then his initial disappointment and shock when Dave had taken that gorilla mask off and he'd realized it was Dave, and not Blaine. God how the tables have turned.

"Ah, touchy subject?"

Shaking his head he sucks in a long breath, unsure where to start or what to say exactly but regardless finds himself outlining his Valentine's Day last year, how Dave had sent him gifts for a week. Adam listens attentively, clarifies that no, Blaine didn't send him anything and mutters about understanding why he dumped the guy which makes him smile.

"And he's with Sebastian now?"

"Yes."

"Huh."

He shrugs helplessly, because sure it sounds like David is a prince charming, there's no denying how sweet his actions were, or what he's like now, but he fills Adam in on the bullying, and then because he wants him to have the full picture he mentions Dave's suicide attempt. Fuck. It's almost a year ago now.

"You love him."

"I… what?" He shakes his head in denial. "No I don't."

Adam pauses then smiles softly, head cocked to one side.

"Sure sounds like it to me. But you know what you feel. Just something to maybe think about though. Although he's not available now, and you weren't this time last year, so of course it's all a moot point. You can love someone and never have it go anywhere. Bit sad though it might be…"

Kurt knows he's staring, because he can't help himself. He knows he cares for Dave. And Sebastian, odd that that might be. But definitely Dave more, and he'd label it as love, but… he's never let himself think about anything more than being David's friend. Not seriously, and not outside the privacy of his own thoughts in his bedroom. But that's not love, that's… sexual attraction. Oh god. He's sexually attracted to Dave. Adam is chuckling silently and he wonders what he must look like to elicit that type of response.

"I didn't…"

"Realize? Yeah. I didn't think so. Probably another good reason to have broken up with Blaine."

"I'm not going to do anything about it. He's with Sebastian. They're happy together. Nauseatingly so." He rolls his eyes. "I just…" He feels a little lost and broken, wondering if he'll always look at Dave from now on and wonder 'what if?' "As you said, it's a moot point so…"

"Hmm. Yeah," Adam replies and Kurt doesn't think he sounds convinced. "You know, your life sounds like a really good drama. I really want to meet these guys now. I hope you'll introduce me."

"I'm glad my life can be of some entertainment value to you. And I think it's the least I can do to repay you for forcing some self revelations."

"You would have realized sooner or later," Adam murmurs and Kurt hates that Adam is probably right; however he would have liked to live in ignorant bliss for a little while longer.

FAF

Dave isn't quite sure what to think when he gets out of bed and checks his phone. Sure it's nice that Kurt let him know so he wouldn't worry, but it's not like Kurt owes him an explanation. He finds it a little confusing for a few moments, because they're only friends… although friends do this he supposes. Let each other know they're okay. He lets out a long breath as he goes about making himself something to eat. Right. It's not so unusual. He sends texts like that to Sebastian and Kurt all the time, letting them know they don't have to worry. It's just like that.

Except… Kurt stayed with Adam last night. Some guy he's never met and he's pretty sure it wouldn't matter if he had met him. It just seems awfully fast, especially for Kurt. Huh. He's feeling a little protective he realizes. At least that what he thinks it is, not something else. At least he doesn't think so. He spills his coffee in his distracted state of mind and gets a little angry at himself. Frustrated. He hasn't felt this confused about his state of emotions since he realized he was gay. Ugh.

FAF

Dave seems angry. Or maybe it's jealousy. He's not really sure, but when Kurt finally comes home it's almost noon, he's grinning like an idiot and he guesses the date went well. He swallows down the churning in his gut, the weird and unwanted feeling of jealousy. He doesn't get it. He's not interested in wanting to be with Kurt. He wants Kurt to be happy, and he knows he cares about him but… fuck feelings are confusing.

FAF

He's not sure what is going on but both Dave and Sebastian seem a little… off. Like they've had a fight, except he's seen and heard them fight, and this is not the normal status quo. He forces himself to act normal, but he still finds himself watching Dave. How he is with Sebastian, and with him. He thinks about how he feels toward them both, tries to be objective although he doesn't understand why, because his feelings have never been objective before.

A couple of days pass and things drop back to normal. He sees Adam at NYADA, has coffee with him after a couple of classes but fails to mention it to either David or Sebastian incase that's the reason they were acting a little weird. Then he realizes; it's coming up to the one-year anniversary. Sebastian obviously blames him for Dave's suicide attempt, which he logically knows wasn't his fault but it still makes him feel a little guilty when he thinks about it.

He starts paying Dave extra attention, hoping that both he and Sebastian realize his silent support and the semi-apology in his actions. He tries to catch Sebastian to talk to him, ask if Dave's alright, but Sebastian remains elusive almost to the point where he thinks he's being avoided on purpose. Still.

FAF

He's not sure how he feels about Kurt dating Adam. Even though Kurt insists he's not he looks flushed and embarrassed every time he or Sebastian bring it up. He's not sure how to feel about the fact that Kurt's ready to date again. Or is dating. Regardless Kurt isn't spending less time with him, which he admits to himself is a relief, although it feels selfish. He just doesn't have a lot of friends to lose one to a new relationship.

Dave hadn't even realized that it had been a year until his dad phoned him up; asking him if he was alright. His dad had had to explain the significance of the date it to him. He's been too busy, school work, watching far too much TV with Kurt to pay attention. He'd known of course, somewhere in the back of his mind; that it was soon. Sebastian has been attentive although a little distracted with a large group assignment due at the end of the month meaning he's been working on campus a lot. The only time he sees him is the small windows of time just before bed and in the morning. He's already in Sebastian's bed, reading and thinking about turning off the light when he hears the door push open.

"Hey. Long day."

"Yeah. Sorry I couldn't get home sooner, I just…" he pulls a face and Dave smiles pulling back the blankets and patting the space beside him.

"Fuck yes, bed. So tired… I just. I wish I could have been here earlier."

"Huh?"

"You know, a lot happened this time a year ago."

"Oh god, not you too. I've already had my dad on the phone and Kurt insisting on making my favorite meal and then agreeing to watching a game with me." He's still not over the weirdness of Kurt willingly sitting and watching sport with him.

"Yeah well, they love you. Care about you."

Dave snorts and shakes his head, because yes, they love and care about him but he's pretty sure a date isn't going to impact his state of mind. When he thinks about how much his life has changed since then he can scarcely believe it. That he now has a wonderful hot boyfriend, Kurt Hummel is one of his best friends, he's living in New York, at college and… it feels too surreal when he lines it all up like that in his head. He doesn't need to think about the dark space he was in a year ago.

FAF

Sebastian totally wants to hate the guy, but when Kurt introduces him to Adam he likes him almost immediately. Though part of him feels stripped to the bone under his assessing gaze, there is just something innately likeable about the guy and he's usually not someone that likes people on sight.

"I've heard a lot about you."

"All good I hope," Sebastian replies.

"No. Not all of it."

He opens his mouth to make a sharp retort but Kurt is snickering and just the sound of Kurt laughing, being happy, stops him and he shrugs. He knows he can be a bit of an asshole. There's something between Kurt and Adam that makes him look twice and he turns to watch them as they make coffee before going to Kurt's room, ostensibly to study but… he blinks. No. They're actually just friends. The body language between them isn't… sexual. He can tell Adam is interested, but not massively so. And Kurt isn't giving Adam any more attention than what he gives Dave; less even.

He's not sure how to process that.

FAF

"See what I mean?"

"No, not really. Not that I have anything to draw a comparison to except your ramblings."

"I don't ramble," Kurt mutters as he pulls up the dance rehearsal they're meant to be critiquing this week. "Anyway, he's been weird. Although maybe a little less weird in the last couple of days."

"Well, friendship takes as much work, if not more than a relationship, to be… worthwhile. I always thought so anyway."

"Do you know how odd it is to even consider Sebastian a friend considering our history?"

"Odder than you and David?"

Kurt pauses and then scrunches up his face in annoyance.

"Why do you always have to point things out like that?"

"Because you seem to be an excellent denier of everything. Like your own talent, your friends… your own worth. You're a good person Kurt Hummel."

"And you have a silver tongue."

"Guilty as charged. You know, love isn't… limiting. You can love many people in many different ways, and some of them in the same way. Don't cut yourself off from what could be potentially be the best thing in your life…"

For a moment he's worried that maybe Adam is hitting on him, making another pass but a quick glance tells him he's not, that Adam is not talking about himself and that's confusing.

"I have no idea what you're talking about now."

Adam laughs and it makes him feel like he's missing out on some cosmic joke.

FAF

He doesn't know if he's imagining it, or if Kurt and Dave are spending more time together over the last month. They've always done things together, they have a history he can't compete with for a start, but the last month they always seem to be together. Also he's realized that he knows now why he doesn't mind Dave looking at other guys; it's because Dave doesn't look at other guys. He only looks at one.

Kurt.

After meeting Adam he knows Kurt and Adam are actually just friends, nothing more and he feels both glad that Kurt's not dating Adam and equally fearful that Kurt somehow remains a threat by being single. Which he knows is stupid because Dave hasn't made any sign of wanting to break up or leave him for Kurt so he ignores the quiet little voice that tells him he's not good enough. He's always been good enough before.

At the end of the month though, when he comes home to find them asleep on the sofa together it feels like the beginning of the end. They look… good together. Complimentary. He's torn whether to wake them or leave them. He's exhausted but the largest piece of assessment has finally been submitted and he can feel any remaining energy drain out of him as he stands there trying to make a decision.

"Hey, you're back…"

Dave shifts, his arm reaching, hand and fingers unfurling as they reach for him and his decision is made. He steps forward and around, tamps down how weird this might look to outsiders and just collapses on the sofa beside Dave. Kurt snuffles but doesn't wake and he lets himself rest against the warm solidness of Dave's body, his head resting on Dave's shoulder.

"Missed you. We were trying to stay awake to see how it went."

"Mmm. Just tired now."

He's probably going to regret this in the morning. His back and shoulders won't appreciate the whole sleeping while sitting aspect he's about to give into, but he can't find it in himself to care right now. He'll worry about it all tomorrow.

FAF

Kurt wakes again, a little while later. He'd woken when Sebastian had gotten home, the door opening and dragging footsteps all loud in the quiet of the room. He'd feigned sleep, had planned on waiting until all he could hear was the steady sound of them both asleep except he'd fallen back to sleep himself.

He'd wanted Sebastian to join them on the sofa, because he hadn't wanted to have the warmth of Dave leave his side. Which is utterly selfish and he hates himself for even thinking it really. He's come to accept that he can't control all his thoughts about David (or, more alarmingly, Sebastian), but enjoying cuddling with Dave is crossing a line. Not that they'd started off cuddling, it had been more of a mutual lean and then obviously he'd fallen asleep on Dave's shoulder and Dave had been too polite to wake him.

It had been nice.

FAF

None of them mention it the next morning when they all wake together on the sofa.

FAF

"Kurt's hot."

"What?"

"You have to admit it, and I know you think so. All that dancing he's doing is paying off."

"Why would I be looking at Kurt when I have you?" Dave asks confused, because he doesn't get why Sebastian is bringing this up. Unless it's because he was right and Sebastian does have a thing for Kurt.

"Do you still love him?"

"What?"

"Kurt. Do you still love him?"

"I… I guess? Why are you asking?" He's even more confused now given the direction of questions.

"You had a pretty big thing for him this time last year."

"Yeah, but it was… more like an infatuation maybe? I don't know. I didn't really know him then. But I guess I do love him. Now. I mean, he's my best friend after you so…" Dave shrugs, because he's trying to be better at verbalizing his feelings, but he's never really analyzed his feelings for Kurt outside his therapists office before. Oh, and in conversations with Sebastian a lot like this one. He sighs.

"Seb, I love you. I want to be with you. I love Kurt like…"

"You love him like I love you. Wholly. Unconditionally. Would lay down and die for you…"

"That's a bit melodramatic don't you think?" Dave replies, scrunching his face because he'd hate anyone to lay down and die for him.

"Anyway, Kurt and I would never work out."

"Why not?" Sebastian retorts, voice sharp.

"Kurt's too good for me."

The look of sheer anger he gets directed his way is shocking.

"Fuck off. Kurt Hummel is not too good for you."

"You're too good for me," Dave says, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"No. I'm not. I'm really really not."

FAF

Author's note: The next update for this is scheduled for 30th June. (Sorry I can't solely focus on this, however I have five WIPs and I signed up for the Kurtofsky Fest 2014 on tumblr. After 30th June updates will be every 3 weeks.)