Grace
"Happy birthday Ana my darling." I say as I wrap her up in my arms and kiss her cheek.
"Thank you Grace." She says bashfully.
Today Kate, Mia and I have bought Ana to the spa for some child-free time before we'll have a family dinner at our house to celebrate a birthday that we're lucky is happening at all. I hate thinking about that but it's the truth, Ana and Amaya could have been killed in all of this and I count my lucky stars that she survived to be here with us today and celebrating.
It's been a rough couple of months that's for sure. I'm just so glad we're able to be in this situation now where we can celebrate Ana's birthday like this. I've been having lots of nightmares since the attack that Ana was murdered and never came back to us. It's been horrifying.
Kate holds Ana for longer than usual and whispers in her ear Ana beams at her and I guess whatever was said was happy because it makes Ana laugh. It's good to see her laugh.
"Ok, ok come on let's go." Mia says dragging us to get all checked in.
Before we turn around we're all stripped down and in fluffy robes and slippers sipping cocktails, virgin for Ana and I, of course, getting our mani-pedis. It's nice to do this, it's been such a long time since we got together like this.
"So Ana what did Christian get you?" Mia asks and Ana stars giggling. "Oh no not something you can't share with us?" Mia asks horrified.
"He got me a Ferrari." Ana giggles.
"What?!" Kate yells. I'm intrigued as to why Ana has the giggles telling us this.
"Yup." She says popping her P. "I realised a few weeks ago that Christian was in the mood to give me whatever I wanted so I joked about wanting a Ferrari. I did tell him it was a joke but he still got me a Ferrari." She says making me chuckle. That sounds like my son.
"It was a joke?" Mia questions answered Ana nods and giggles some more. "Honestly, that boy." Mia adds making us chuckle.
"He's always bought Audi's and he had that Merc a few years ago but he was just being so...giving, so I walked into the room and went 'Can I have a Ferrari?' And he was like ok. Seriously I told him I was joking I just wanted to see if he would give me anything I asked for no matter how extreme. I stopped wanting cars years ago. With taking the kids to school with the security it's just been pointless to drive myself anywhere." Ana muses making us all chuckle. Yes, we're all very aware that Luke Sawyer and a partner are hanging around keeping a very close eye on Ana but they're good, it's easy to forget they're there for the most part.
Once our mani-pedis are done we all enjoy a facial and I can't help but be so proud of Ana and how far she's come. I know she'll never be the same Ana. That's impossible after experiencing what Ana has been through but she's come so far and I'm so incredibly proud of her.
After Facials, it's time for the full body massage and I am so looking forward to this. Ana is whisked off to a room that has an adapted table for pregnancy with a masseuse who does a full-body Swedish for pregnant women and Mia, Kate, and I separate for our own chosen treatments.
I have chosen the head to toe deep tissue massage because I'm in need of it. After everything we've been through I'm edgy all the time and even I've sought counselling to come to terms with it all. Ana has been such a champion but she needs all of us around her as strong as ever. That means knowing that we need support too.
I doze on the bed as hands work into every kink and curve of my body. It feels incredibly good and I'm so glad Mia and Kate decided to do this for Ana's birthday. I think we all needed a spa day and so it was a means to an end too. It leaves the men at home with the kids to get them ready for Ana's birthday meal allowing Ana especially to truly relax and enjoy herself.
"Stop, get off me!" My eyes spring open as the voice hits my ears. "No don't touch me!" I jump off the bed and barely hanging onto my modesty grab the robe and wrap it over my shoulders hurrying out the room unaware of the fright I've just given my own masseuse.
"Just please, stop!" Ana shouts and I run into the bay next door just as I hear Kate and Mia scurrying behind me.
"Ana?" I ask seeing her cowering in a corner and the masseuse looking like she's seen a ghost in the other corner, wide-eyed and hands by her head in surrender.
I grab Ana's robe from the stand and slowly make my way over to her. I don't want to startle her right now and make things worse.
"Ana darling girl it's me, it's Grace." I tell her but her eyes are squeezed shut and she makes no show that she can hear me or knows I'm here. "Ana..." I'm weary of touching her if she doesn't realise it's me. I saw Christian's bruise after she lashed out in a flashback and I don't want to be on the receiving end of one of Ana's punches. "Ana sweetheart please, let me help you." I try as she begins to cry.
"Grace..." I quickly wrap the robe around her shoulders and join her on the floor, pulling her into me so I can hold her in my arms. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She mutters over and over again.
"You've got nothing to apologise for sweetheart." I tell her gently as I do my best to rock her in arms. "It's ok. Can you give us the room please?" I ask the masseuse and I nod towards Kate, Mia, and Luke who has appeared behind them.
"Of course." She says looking horrified. "I'm so sorry Mrs Grey." She says and I give her a sympathetic smile.
"You didn't do anything it's ok. She'll be ok." I tell her and she nods her little blonde head before rushing out the room.
Mia and Kate standing in the door looking unsure what to do with themselves. Their eyes are filled with tears and uncertainty as I continue to rock a sobbing Ana.
"There, there, sweetheart. Let it all out." I tell her between kissing her temple and rocking her.
It takes a good ten to fifteen minutes for me to calm Ana down enough to get her off the floor and she looks at Kate and Mia with so much shame in her eyes that I want to shake it out of her. She didn't do anything wrong here, it was us at fault not thinking that this would be a really hard thing for Ana.
"I'm sorry." She says looking at the ground, one hand cupping the other elbow awkwardly.
"Sorry. Geez Steele you've got nothing to say sorry about." Kate says finally coming into the room. "Can I give you a hug?" She asks looking so unlike the confident Kate Kavanagh that we know and love. Ana nods uncomfortably and Kate quickly wraps her up in her embrace.
"I'm sorry Ana. So sorry. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. I didn't think. I'm sorry." Kate whispers loud enough for us all to hear. I look at Mia who is still standing there silently and I go over to hug her and reassure her that Ana is fine.
"How about some lunch?" I suggest when it becomes increasingly obvious that Ana needs to get out of this room and have some space. Kate looks again at Ana who manages a thin-lipped smile of reassurance before we make our way to get some food. I stop Ana and let Kate and Mia go off ahead.
"What happened?" I ask her softly.
"My towel was a bit low. She lifted it a little to do my thighs and it dragged along my butt. And then she put her hand on my thigh and I just...flashed back." Ana explains looking extremely pale. "Is it always going to be like this Grace?" She asks shakily, those beautiful blue eyes filling with tears.
"No sweetheart. Not at all. With therapy and time, they will get better." I explain tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "They will." I add again as I sense she doesn't believe me.
Ana puts on a brave face while we have lunch but it becomes increasingly obvious that the flashback has exhausted her physically and emotionally. I don't think she'll survive a family dinner but I know she'll also beat herself up if she doesn't make it there or isn't able to at least pretend that she's enjoying it.
"Ana." I say deciding that a surprise probably isn't the best idea anyway. "Everyone is gathering for a family dinner at my house." I tell her and she laughs having obviously figured it out. It's the same every year of course, we celebrate birthdays together. "Is that ok?"
"I think I need to go and rest first." She admits and I nod surprised that she hasn't just said she'd rather not. "So if it's ok with everyone else I'm going to skip out after this and head home to rest and I'll see you all tonight." She says and I smile at her. She's so strong. Always putting on a brave face. She's an incredible girl and I have absolute faith that she will get through this.