Christian
The house is electric with kids running around all over the place partaking in spooky games that are being managed by members of the family. It's Halloween and once again my house is full of other people's kids just so I can keep my own kids safe.
This year I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and I must admit my costume is pretty cool. Especially when you compare it to Elliot's who is dressed as Uncle Fester from The Adams family.
Ana ingeniously has a doll climbing out of her bump, bloody arms reaching forward. It's really freaky and hilarious. She's so imaginative and I was very impressed with her idea.I can't get over how much fun she's had in the days leading up to this and it has been easy to put the nightmare we've lived behind us for the time being.
Phoebe, of course, got exactly what she wanted and she is dressed as the snow queen from The Lion the Witch and the wardrobe. I was not impressed when Mia bought her downstairs fully dressed with a face full of makeup but Ana warned me not to say how I felt as she didn't want me to upset Phoebe. I just hate the thought of my seven-year-old in so much makeup, she shouldn't be putting that stuff on her face, it's not like facepaint like the twins have, it's proper grown-up makeup, ruby red lips and dark smoky eyes. I hate it.
Teddy is Poe from Star Wars and he looks great. He took ages to choose what he wanted and Ana worried about getting him a costume in time. But as always she got him exactly what he wanted and he seems happy with his choice. It's a really cool costume and a few of his friends made it clear they were just a tad jealous of it. But Ana always gets the best costumes, I've never really asked where she gets them from or who makes
But the twins are of course the icing on the cake. They're Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum and they look adorable with matching yellow shirts and red tutus. This is the first year they've really been able to enjoy the party and Ana is having lots of fun going around the games with them while Gail and my Mom dressed as Cruella de Vil and Morticia Adams respectfully, keep the food and drinks going with Patricia who is dressed as a scarecrow. As always the party is running smoothly and everyone seems to be having a great time, including the parents who stick around to care for their own children.
"Hey Christian this is a great party." John Flynn smiles as he finally manages to catch me. I'd been avoiding him tonight as I wanted to focus on the children. "Great costume." He teases.
"Yours too Mr Holmes." I say shaking his hand. He dresses as Sherlock every year, a homage to his Britishness he says.
Everyone is thankfully dressed appropriately considering this is a kids party. Mia and Kate may have gone OTT the first year we held the party and Ana gave them both an ear full saving me from doing so. It's a kids' party, but that year the pair of them wouldn't have looked out of place in a brothel. Sexy costumes are fine in the right places but our children's Halloween party is not one of those places.
What's great is that things finally feel relatively normal. Ana has come leaps and bounds since she's been working with Tamara and Jamie over the last few weeks and I'm seeing my Ana shining through again. I mean, it's been tough, Ana has been on a pendulum going from one extreme to the other, sometimes she wants nothing but contact, physical touches, hugs, kisses then other days she can't keep me far enough away and it can get really frustrating but those swings have become left and I feel a shift in our marriage back towards what we had before Amaya was taken.
John goes off to talk to my Dad who is dressed as a doctor amusingly which leaves me to go and watch Ana and the kids again. They're currently bobbing for apples in the bathroom and I laugh watching my twins become more and more competitive. When they come up for air I see their makeup completely running down their faces. Ana has warned this would happen and when it was bobbing for apples time it meant it was nearly bedtime.
I don't know how she expects the twins to sleep but I know Gail is planning to sit and read stories with them until everyone goes home. As it's a children's party we set the finishing time at 8 pm allowing us to clean the place down before the family goes home to bed and Ana and I can have some alone time to recover from the tiring antics of the evening.
When Amaya eventually gets an apple before Amelia does it causes a huge temper tantrum from Amelia. It's hilarious because they're so competitive at this age and I dread the future with the pair of them always fighting to be better than the other. So, I'm quick to get in there to help Ana get the twins upstairs so they can be washed and changed and put in bed.
"You're all wet." I tell Amaya who laughs loudly. She's back to her old self like I didn't even believe possible and the child psychologist who has been working with her says after a couple more sessions she'll be discharging Amaya as there's nothing more she can do. I'm amazed that my girl is back to her usual self after what she went through. She actually doesn't seem to remember all that much, the shrink said it was something to do with memory processing at her age and that when she gets older, if she ever asks questions about it we have to be honest with her, otherwise we could cause PTSD twenty years from now. She needs to know that what she remembers is true
Ana and I tag-team the twins to get them into bed and after Ana has read them a story Gail comes to take over from us so we can go back down to the party. At the top of the stairs, I can't resist grabbing Ana and kissing her. She's so sexy and she's at her most beautiful when she's mothering our children. She takes full control and thrusts me against the hallway wall, her tongue entering my mouth almost violently that it leaves me wanton.
"An...An..." I pull away. "We've got guests." I remind her making her giggle.
"It wouldn't be the first time we've snuck away for a quick one." She says before kissing me again just as hard.
"Mmm no, no quick one. When you're ready I want to take my time with you. Worship you." I tell her and she smiles the most beautiful bright smile at me that lights up my entire world.
"Then laters baby. I'm ready." She winks before skipping downstairs forcing me to have to adjust myself. Holy fuck my wife is hot as hell and... she's ready!
Ana dances with Phoebe and does mummy wrapping with Teddy. She's in her element surrounded by family and friends and it's a joy to watch her knowing how far she's come after the assault. I am watching her, looking for any sign that she isn't ready because if she is I want to worship every inch of her, I want to tell her without a single word how much I love her, but only if she is truly ready. I'm struggling to control myself watching her and it's going to take a lot of restraint to be gentle with her, it's been so long.
"She's doing well." Tamara says as she slides up next to me. She's dressed as a scary scientist. It's a brilliant costume and she obviously made an effort too which I know Ana always appreciates.
"Yes she is." I agree.
"I'll be finishing up with her before Christmas if she keeps this up." She says which makes me smile. It's crazy to think a few weeks ago she didn't even want to go to therapy but she's taken it all in her stride. Once she realised she needed help and I think slugging me in the face was a part of that, so I don't mind so much though I have been a lot more careful not to startle her since. I don't want to be on the receiving end of another one of Ana's punches, she has some power in that little body of hers.
"She goes hiking almost every day. Skips work earlier to go. Sawyer her personal protection says it's killing him." I say making her laugh. Ana has been winding Sawyer up that he's an old man. She's been doing five-mile hikes despite behind pregnant and Sawyer moans that he's to old for "this shit" it gives us all a laugh especially when Taylor joins in the winding-up saying he could manage.
"She's such a strong woman Christian. She'll be fine." Tamara says and for the first time I truly believe that. I've seen her bouncing back from this in a way no one else has and I know she's going to be ok, she's going to recover and she will be one of those people who eventually takes this attack in her stride and uses it to better herself in some way or another.
Finally, the kids start to leave and Ana, I, and all the family begin clearing up Mom and Dad have had a couple too much brandies and are dancing around like fools making Mia, Elliot and I cringe in embarrassment while everyone else laughs at them. Then thankfully, everyone else begins to leave and Taylor takes my parents home leaving Ana and I alone at last.
"That was a good night Mr Grey." She says coming into our room after checking on the kids.
"It was a great night Mrs Grey." I say sitting on the edge of the bed. I don't want her to see that I'm nervous.
"Now, I want you to make sweet love to me Christian. All night." She says leaning over me and forcing me onto my back, propped up by my elbows.
"Are you sure?" I ask and she nods and blushes. "Bath first." I say and she nods in agreement thankfully.
I've thought hard about this moment. It needs to be special and safe, Ana needs to be relaxed and feel loved. So I run us a hot bath with some nice essential oils that Kate bought as a maternity gift for Ana and then I strip her out if her costume one piece at a time making sure to caress her skin and kiss her as I go. Warming her up for what's to come.
I think a big part of feeling ready is that earlier in the weeks she had the full confirmation that she didn't contract HIV from Morton. I know that has been a huge weight off her mind. I mean, I don't know how she's coped with the knowledge that he may have had HIV and she would have it from him, I know she's taken the antivirals religiously and tried to keep up a pretence that it didn't bother her but how could something like that not, especially when pregnant knowing that there was a risk she'd deliver a baby with HIV too.
She washes off her makeup before getting in the water and I do the same before climbing in behind her. She sighs contentedly. I hope to God everything goes ok tonight because I know how important this is to Ana, that we finally start sharing that sexual intimacy again. If she's not able to, it will set her back and I don't know how she'd cope with that.
I wash her softly, running the sponge all over every inch of her body. I tease her nipples and gently wash between her legs mainly looking for some hesitation but there's none. I am rewarded with her soft little moans that tell me she's more than ready for so much more.
Once washed I get out and wrap Ana up in a towel. She's quiet but not worryingly so. She just seems to be enjoying the attention.
I dry every inch of her skin, slowly, making sure I touch her all over and plant-loving kisses once more. Ana is panting by the time I'm done and she takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.
I lay her down gently before kissing her deeply, exploring her mouth like it's the first time ever. She meets me, hungrily so.
When I pull back I look into her eyes, searching her soul for any sign that this isn't what she wants.
"I'm ready." She reassures me softly. "Please Christian I'm so ready."
"You'll tell me to stop if you don't want to carry on?" I question and she nods. "Tell me." I order because this is so important.
"I promise. I'll tell you to stop." She says before taking my lips in her own once more and removing the towel from my waist allowing my engorged erection to spring free. I kiss all down her body, she withers and writhes beneath me, moaning softly. But there's no hesitation.
I nip gently at her pubic bone and she moans deeply, desperate for more. I suck at her clit and I think she might explode as she fists the blanket beneath her. Slowly I take my finger and ease it inside her, every second I wait for her to bolt upright and tell me to stop but it doesn't come.
"More Christian!" She begs as I stroke her inner wall with my finger. "More please."
I chuckle and slip another finger in and her back arches and a heavenly groan echoes from her throat. It's music to my ears and I once again take her clit into my mouth.
She spills over calling my name like a siren and I pull out only to hover over her as she catches her breath.
"Ok?" I ask and she smiles before grabbing my behind and giving a squeeze encouraging me. My Ana, my little vixen is back.
I line myself up at her entrance and keeping my eyes on those beautiful deep pools of blue I slowly inch my way in. She clutches my shoulders and moans loudly, her legs opening wider for me. I sink as far as I can go before wrapping my arm around her and pulling her into me. Our lips meet in a sweet kiss before I start rocking my hips and Ana rocks to meet me thrust for thrust.
"Christian more please." She begs breathlessly and I oblige adding just a little more weight to my thrust. Her lips mash against mine as we rock together, our bodies so close one wouldn't know where one begins and the other ends. It's truly beautiful.
I come hard and Ana tips rights along with me. We call the other's names in a song as we hit nirvana. Somewhere so familiar yet so new and different. I slip out of Ana and lay down only to pull her straight into my chest and bury my head in her hair.
"Are you ok?" I ask nervously and she looks up at me and smiles before grasping my lips in her own in a soft kiss.
"It was worth waiting for." She smiles and I relax, she's ok and we're ok.