Ana

This is it. The day I've been waiting for while simultaneously dreading.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and today I will give my testimony in the State of Washington v Jack Hyde.

I'm fucking terrified. My heart hasn't stopped racing since the moment I woke up. My palms are sweating and I feel sick to my stomach and I know there's nothing I can do but face this head-on.

"You look beautiful." Christian says finding me standing in front of the mirror, clutching at my big baby bump. I'm so huge now that moving is just uncomfortable. But I need him to stay in there just a little longer. I'm wearing some nice black pants and a white long sleeve t-shirt and a navy blue suit jacket. I look presentable.

"I'm scared Christian." I admit and he quickly comes to join me in the mirror, his hands going to my shoulders and his lips finding the crook of my neck.

"Nothing I can say will make you feel any better about this Ana. I wish I could take it all away. What I can say is I'll be outside waiting for you when you're done."

That bit scares me too. As Christian will also be called to testify he won't be allowed to be in the courtroom when I give my testimony. I've asked Ray, Grace and Carrick to be there though which they of course have promised to. I need them there. Melissa will be there too. She will stay outside with me until I go in to testify and then she will be in the courtroom throughout.

"It's time to go isn't it." I say meeting Christian's eyes in the mirror and he nods. Here we go.

I can't keep still in the car, my leg shakes the entire time even when Christian puts his hand on my knee to try and calm me. It doesn't help like it normally would when I'm nervous. I mean, nothing compares to the anxiety I feel today.

Tamara and Jamie have been an amazing support system and I really will never be able to thank them enough for the help they've given to me and the family. They've equipped me with calming techniques and things all ready for this today and I hope they'll work or I may not get through my testimony.

We arrive at the courthouse and there is press everywhere. Having already thrown my right to anonymity at Morton's trial I can't expect it during this trial but I wish they would be just a little bit more respectful. They know I can't speak to them while the trial is ongoing.

I tug my camel maternity jacket tighter around me for comfort while Johnathon comes around to open the door. Taylor and Luke will be taking us straight into the courthouse as our main security personnel leaving Johnathon to be the person dealing with the car.

"Ready?" Christian asks taking my hand.

"No." I chuckle sadly just as the door opens. Christian climbs out first and as always incredibly graceful. I roll out seconds later and have to take a moment just to compose myself. Luke and Taylor flank us allowing me to feel just a little safer and Christian takes my hand as we hurry inside while we ignore the press shouting at us and the sound of the camera clicking like crazy.

Melissa is waiting for us outside the courtroom when we arrive and Taylor and Luke respectfully back off giving us the privacy we need.

"Ana." She smiles before giving me a hug. "Mr Grey." She says politely before shaking Christian's hand. "So opening statements have started. It won't be long now." I nod because it's the only thing I can do. It won't be long now. It makes me feel sick again but I paste a smile onto my face, I want to relax Christian more than myself because he's going to find it difficult not being in that room while I testify.

Grace

Ana is called and I cling to both Carrick and Raymond's hands as I watch her walk in. Even at this stage in pregnancy with a fully grown baby inside her, she looks incredibly small here today. I spoke to Carla last night, she decided not to fly in for the trial, Ana is apparently ignoring all attempts at contact but I think Christian said it had something to do with the fact Carla left without saying goodbye. Ana has decided to wash her hands of her mother, but her relationship with Ray is stronger than ever, he's here to support his baby girl.

She's doing her best to keep her head up as she walks to the witness stand but we can all see her fear, sense her nerves and anticipate her anxiety. I mean, we all would be the same if we were in her shoes. She looks so small despite the bulging bump carrying her unborn child. I want to wrap my arms around her and take her away, protect her from this.

She's sworn in and the judge has to ask her to speak up. This isn't starting well at all. My heart is racing for her, and sensing my anxiety Carrick squeezes my hand gently, reassuring me.

"Good morning Mrs Grey, Ana, thank you for coming today to share your story with the jury." Julia starts and Ana gives a very small timid nod. I squeeze the hands in my own as I'm so frightened for her. "Could you, in your own words, tell the Jury what happened on the morning of June 9th of last year?"

Ana nods, wets her lips and nods again. She's taking a second, composing herself before she speaks. I don't know if it's because she's trying to find the words or if it's a coping mechanism, all I know is she's taking her time before answering, keeping her eyes on Julia the entire time.

"My youngest daughter Amaya had been missing for nearly three days." Ana's voice shakes and she coughs to clear her throat a moment. "I was in my office at my house, I was editing photos on my computer just to do something. My phone rang, it was a number I didn't recognise and I answered it."

"Did you recognise who was on the phone?" Julia asks.

"As soon as he said my name. Yes." Ana replies without a beat in hesitation this time. Carrick said Julia had prepared Ana well, she knew what questions would be coming and how to answer them.

"And can you point at that person if they're here today in the courtroom?" Julia asks seeking an identification from Ana.

"It was the defendant Jack Hyde." Ana points but barely glances in his direction. She doesn't want to look at him, I can understand that.

"Do you know the defendant Anastasia?" Julia asks.

"Yes." Ana nods.

"How do you know him?" Julia continues leading her into talking about the previous assaults because the judge said it was related and could be brought up. I know Carrick was worried that they wouldn't be allowed to mention what happened before.

"Nearly eleven years ago, I was the defendant's assistant when he attempted to sexually assault me. He, then, after losing his job, attempted to kidnap me from my home and when that failed he took my sister in law hostage and blackmailed me for five million dollars before beating the hell out of me." Ana replies.

"He went to prison for it didn't he?"

"Yes." Ana nods. "He only got out on parole just a few weeks before Amaya went missing."

"So when he called it must have been very frightening. What did he want?" Julia pushes Ana to continue with the story of what happened that day.

"He begged me not to hang up then I asked him if he had my daughter, he said he didn't but he knew who did." Ana replies very stoically. She's obviously prepared for this and is trying her best to appear calm and relaxed when she's anything but.

"Is that how he said it? He knew who had her?" Julia asks and it looks to me like Ana was prepared for that question, she stopped and waited for Julia to ask it.

"Yes. He said he didn't have her but he knew who did."

I feel sick. This is the first time I'm hearing from the horse's mouth what happened in the hours leading up to the rape. I mean I know what happened but Ana has never told me herself, it's always been second-hand information from Carrick and Christian and even Carrick only knows from being involved in the trial prep.

"Then what?" Julia prompts.

"I asked him who but he wouldn't tell me. He said he wanted to help me but I had to trust him." Ana's voice shakes and I grip tighter to Ray and Carrick's hands. I don't want her up there facing this. I don't want her scared and upset in front of witnesses like this. It hurts so bad to see her in this way.

"I asked why I should trust him and he said I had to if I wanted Amaya back safe. So I said...ok..." her voice trails off and she blinks slowly.

"When your ready." Julia reassures stepping closer to the witness stand. Ana nods. "Then what?"

"He told me to meet him at the McDonalds by Bremerton Ferry at four o'clock, not to tell anyone or take anyone with me or I wouldn't ever find Amaya." She fights tears and a glass of water is bought to her by one of the court ushers. "Thank you." She says politely and I just want to hold her.

"Did you go to meet him?" Julia prompts.

"Yes." Ana replies without hesitation. "When he met me there, we made small talk. He looked...really well compared to last time I saw him. It was...just odd." Ana shudders. "Our security had lost Hyde's trail weeks before, they were keeping an eye on him for our peace of mind. At the McDonald's he told me he lost them by turning the tables and following them instead of them being able to follow him. He knew things that weren't in the public domain like that I was pregnant. I was barely a few weeks gone."

"Then what?" Julia prompts again as Ana trails off, she's finding this so hard and I don't blame her. She's worked hard to move on from this, so to be back in the position where she has to rehash it all and this time for an audience, it must be so difficult.

"He told me that prison had been hard, that he had been abused physically and then sexually. Then he told me the story about a particular prisoner he'd shared a cell with who was obsessed with me and that he was the person who had my daughter." Ana says this quite quickly as if she doesn't want to talk about but knows she has to.

"What did he say to convince you that this person had Amaya?" Julia asks and I smile sadly. The way she's wording these questions is so clever. Ana can't speak to Jack's truth, she can't know why he thought Morton had Amaya but she can tell the jury what he told her to get her to believe him.

"That he had kept in touch with this person who had abused him and been obsessed with me. He said that the person wouldn't yet have abused Amaya as he would confide in Jack when he did and that he didn't actually know where in the world they were at that moment but he was going to find out. Then he drove me to get my car so I could go home."

"Why did you believe him? Did you trust him?"

"I don't know." Ana sighs. "I felt so...guilty when he told me what had happened in prison as I had helped send him there. I felt awful for him. But I was also desperate for my daughter back and he convinced me he could help and so yeah I had to believe him and trust him because my baby was missing."

"Ok... when did you next speak with the defendant?"

"Later that evening he called me and said he had news. Told me to meet him on Vashon Island."

"And you went?"

"Of course I did." Ana replies bitterly. Anyone would have done the same, we would have for our babies.

"Why didn't you contact the authorities?"

"I was scared something would happen to Amaya. That threat had been made. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her..." Ana's voice cracks.

"What happened when you met with the defendant?"

Ana looks so shameful right now and she has no reason to. She didn't do anything wrong. She just did what she felt she needed to do for her daughter. My heart bleeds for her and I want to take her off that stand and march her out of here to keep her safe.

It's hard hearing the details. I had only had a quick summary of what happened leading up to the rape and to hear these details that Ana has carried with her is really difficult. She has probably analysed everything too, wondering if she could have done anything differently.

"He said he knew where Amaya was and he was going to take me to her. He said he'd take me to her but then I was on my own and if I involved the police the person who had her would kill her." Ana replies shaking and I know as she gets closer to the details she's struggling. Not long now Anastasia and it will be over.

"He took me to the house, a place near Washington Lake somewhere. It felt like we traveled far." Ana says. "We pulled up outside the property gate and he put in a code to open it. He then told me I was on my own now. My daughter was in the house and that the front door would be open."

"Then what?" Julia prompts.

"I went up to the house, went inside, called hello. I found my daughter asleep in the living room..." Ana takes a deep breath and Julia just gives her a nod to continue.

"That's when Stephen Morton came in and bargained with me that if I wanted my daughter back I had to fulfill his fantasy..."

I squeeze Ray and Carrick again. Sick bastard hurt our girl and has had a slap on the wrist for it, twenty to thirty years for what he did to her... it sickens me.

"What was his fantasy Ana?"

"To beat me with a belt and to rape me." Ana says.

"When did you next have contact with the defendant?"

"He interrupted the rape." Ana says her voice shaking more and more. "He came in with a gun and told Morton to stop, Morton went to the defendant. They fought for the gun and the gun went off. I went to my daughter."

"Did the defendant say anything to you?"

"He bought me his jacket and put it around my shoulders. Apologised said he should have known what would happen." Ana explains.

"Thank you Anastasia for sharing your story. No more questions your honour." Julia sits down and Ana takes a long sip of her drink. That was the easy bit. The hard bit comes now when the defence attorney is going to attempt to rip her story to shreds.

"Good morning Mrs Grey. I'd like to echo the prosecutions sentiments and thank you for coming here today and sharing your story. What you went through must have been extremely difficult." I gulp, he's trying to make nice before he tears her down. We all know that.

"If I can just direct you back to the start of your testimony when you first spoke to my client. Why didn't you contact the police or your husband?"

"He made it clear I'd never see my daughter again if I did." Ana replies strongly. I know Julia has tried to prepare her for these questions but she can't know what the defence would ask.

"Did you believe he had anything to do with the kidnap of your daughter?"

"I don't know. I thought it was odd how his cellmate was willing to tell him where he was with my daughter so easily. I said I trusted him but knowing his character it was impossible."

"So you went with him despite not trusting him." The defence attorney says shrugging. He's trying his might to poke holes in her story.

"Yes. I would have done anything to get my daughter back." Ana replies firmly not giving him an inch.

"So you went to the house. You say my client interrupted the rape? Did he give you the impression at that point that he had intended that to happen to you?"

"No." Ana replies dryly. She clearly isn't in the mood for this.

"What about after the rape?"

"No. He said he should have known."

"Why didn't my client come to the house with you?"

"Because he said he'd end up dead or back in prison if he did." Ana replies.

"Do you think my client was working with your rapist?"

"I believe he intended that I was raped in that house." Ana replies causing some gasps to ripple through the courtroom.

"Why do you believe that?" The defence attorney doesn't miss a beat.

"If it's true that your client was raped repeatedly by Morton in prison he knew exactly what Morton would do if he got his hands on me." Ana replies with fire in her eyes and anger in her voice. This is the one thing she has held onto, that whether he wanted her raped or not, he knew she would be raped if she went into that house.

"But it doesn't mean he meant for it to happen. He called for help and came into the house with a gun. Stopping the rape. Don't you think maybe he was just so focused on getting your daughter back for you to make up for what happened eleven years ago that he actually didn't think of the consequence?"

"Jack doesn't do anything in the heat of the moment." Ana replies. "He knew what would happen in that house."

"But he rescued you. Came in with a gun?"

"Maybe that was his intention the entire time. How to get away with murder? Except it went a bit awry." Ana replies shocking us all.

"Objection your honour this is all speculation." Julia says.

"Your honour it's important to know if the witness believes that my client was a co-conspirator. If she doesn't believe that then why would the jury?" The defence replies.

"Overruled but tread carefully." The judge answers looking at the defence attorney in warning.

"Do you believe he knew, sending you into that house, that you would be raped?"

"I believe he intended that I was raped." Ana replies. "Yes."

"Do you think he planned it?"

"I can't speak to that." Ana replies.

"So you believe it was his intention to send you into that house to be raped but you don't know if he planned it?"

"I believe that he knew when I went into the house I would be raped." Ana replies angrily. "Did he plan it? I don't know. But when we stood outside that gate and he was telling me I was on my own from here, he knew exactly what would happen to me." She's so upset and fighting.

"How can you believe that when he comforted you after her shot Morton protecting and rescuing you."

"Maybe he didn't expect me to be beaten with a belt first. Maybe he expected to interrupt when it was over. I don't know. All I know is he knew I would be raped in that house yet he still sent me in unprepared and unprotected."

"No more questions your honour."

"You may step down Mrs Grey." The judge says and Ana nods and while trying to remain as stoic and calm as possible she hurries out the courtroom.

Christian

Ana comes out and runs straight over to me. I hold her tight in my arms as she sobs. Melissa comes out a second later and gives me a sympathetic smile.

"That was awful." Ana says and I look at her to see the tears in her eyes. It breaks me to know she's just had to go through that and I wasn't there for her.

"How do you think it went?" I ask Melissa.

"She did well." Melissa replies with a sympathetic smile. "It was opening testimony so it's up in the air how it went down with the jury. I think your testimony will give a lot more weight to the theory that Hyde wanted Ana to be raped by Morton."

"Just stop." Ana shouts, she's clearly just had enough now. "Please just stop. Can we go home?"

"Of course." I reply knowing I won't be giving my testimony for a couple of days, I don't need to be hanging around here if Ana doesn't want to stay either.

Mom, Ray and Carrick exit just as I help Ana back into her coat. She's a mess but focused on getting out of here too. Ana hugs each of them and I catch my Mom fighting tears as she whispers words I can't hear into Ana's ear. Ana kisses her cheek softly in reply before taking my hand so I can lead her out. I think the testimony has exhausted her.

In the car she curls up in my side and cries silent tears. She's made it clear she doesn't want to talk about it so I won't ask her anymore about it. I hope that the crying is cathartic and not that she thinks she did something wrong or that it went bad. I kiss her head, just hoping she knows I'm here if she needs me or wants to talk or just to hold her, because as her husband that's my job.