Christian

After finishing my testimony which was long and frustrating at times, I find a text message on my phone telling me that Anastasia has gone to work. I knew she didn't want to be in court today when she sent me off ahead of her this morning but I didn't think she'd go to work. If she didn't want to come she could have stayed at home. She's supposed to be on maternity leave for Christ sake our baby is due any day. She doesn't have to be in court but she shouldn't be in work. Why does she always have to make these things so much more complicated than they need to be?!

Taylor isn't able to drive me as he's the next person to give testimony but I don't want to hang around either. I need Ana home safe not at work where she could go into labour. So doing the only thing I can I get my Mom to give me a ride. I'm fucking pissed that Ana's gone to work. So pissed. I mean it's selfish of her to behave in such a way when we're down on manpower because of the court case and quite frankly we're all so distracted too!

"She's probably just trying to keep her mind off the trial Christian." Mom says as she drives towards Grey Publishing. "She's safe, Luke is with her." She says trying to reassure me and probably calm me down because she knows I'm angry with Ana about this.

"I know Mom." I whine as I just don't need a lecture right now. I'm just worried about my wife. I know she's safe, she's taken security with her and Luke wouldn't let any harm come to her. However, she shouldn't be at work. What if she went into labour? After everything that happened with the twins, we know how quickly that situation can escalate. She should be at home, safe, comfortable!

"Why don't I go in to talk to her?" Mom suggests and before I get the chance to argue with her I realise that might not be a bad idea. Ana will get defensive if I go in but she won't so much if Mom goes in instead. I'm too angry and will say the wrong things, Mom is calmer and will likely be able to talk to Ana and maybe even persuade her to come home.

"No I can speak with her..."

"Would you speak with her or demand that she does as you say?" Mom asks before I even finish my sentence. Damn, she knows me too well. "Ana needs handling with kid gloves Christian not controlled with a dominant voice." I look surprised at my Mom that she's just described it like that. "Come on Christian, we all know what you're like when you're scared. You start demanding everyone does what you want them to do and you disregard how they feel, whether they're scared too."

"I need to keep my family safe." I reply dryly because over that past few years that is exactly how I've been. I only become controlling when it comes to my family's safety and usually I'm proven to be right when my family goes against my express wishes.

"I know sweetheart and I know right now you're scared. You're scared Hyde will get away with this, you're scared someone else is after your wife, you're scared that Ana can't handle it all and you're scared she'll go into labour in the midst of all this. So right now Christian, as your Mom I know you're terrified and that your instinct is to start throwing your weight around..." she leans over and takes my hand which forces me to lift my gaze from my lap to her. "...but Ana is not just scared Christian, Ana is living life in a constant state of defence, waiting for the next assault. The last person she needs to assault her right now is you but that's is what taking control from her will feel like to her." Mom explains gently and I sigh, she's right. John said control would be a huge thing for Ana while she recovered from the assault and possible forever, and that I would have to learn to give up even more when it came to Ana, because not doing so could put her on the defensive in ways she's never been before. I'm trying to understand that, because John says my need for control comes from my childhood trauma, well Ana's need for control will stem from this more recent trauma.

"Ok." I agree and Mom is momentarily surprised before she regains her composure.

We pull up outside Grey Publishing and I let Mom go in there to speak with Ana. Hopefully she'll be able to get her to come home if nothing else. She doesn't need to be here in the office, what if she goes into labour, what if the jury goes out? She needs to be safe, I need her safe.

Grace

I'm shown through to the floor Ana's office is on and I take a minute to admire her working. Her office has glass walls so I can see right inside despite the blinds as they're open. She's sat at her desk, her head over something, her own hand scribbling away. I understand why Christian doesn't want her here of all places right now but there's a reason she chose to come here of all places.

"Mrs Grey?" The assistant asks as she pokes her head through the glass door into Ana's office. "I have your Mother in Law here..." she says and Ana looks at me through the glass wall and smiles brightly.

"Yes let her in." Ana's voice carries through the door and as I step inside Ana stands to meet me. "Grace what are you doing here?" Ana asks as she steps from behind the desk to come over to me and I walk the few steps to meet her.

"Christian was a bit upset to find you'd come to work. He's in the car." I explain as she signals the couch but stops short of ushering me to sit when she realises Christian is with me.

"I can't sit around Grace." She says folding her arms over her bump defensively and I smile sadly. "I need to keep my brain active."

"Couldn't you do that at home?" I ask and she shakes her head at me. She's so sad and I can see it shimmering in her eyes. I wish I could take that pain and sorrow away from her but I know that my being here, trying to persuade her to leave is actually just adding to it.

"If I'm at home I remember what's going on. Here I can forget about it Grace." She says sadly. "I can't..." the tears come and I hold her as tight as I can considering the big bump that's now in the way. "I can't cope with this Grace. I can't."

"Yes you can." I say letting go of her and tipping her chin so she looks at me. "You've come this far Anastasia. This is the final hurdle and you've done the hardest bit which was confronting it on the stand. It's now a waiting game, a horrible and long waiting game but it won't be long and it will be over."

I try not to become emotional because I feel so strongly about all of this. The harm that was done to Ana, Amaya and the whole family at the hands of these two men. It's hard going right now and while we've all healed so much and come so far this drags it all up again and it's hard to face it anew. The trial has made all those feelings come back as if it happened yesterday, put all our recovery to one side forcing us to face it head-on again. It's hard enough for me, so I can't imagine how difficult it is for Ana.

"Listen you stay here and work for today sweetheart and I'll talk to Christian." I tell her because I think that's the only option here. She's not going to leave quietly because Christian and I demand it but if he doesn't want her in work he better come up with a good idea what to do to keep her from the office from here on in.

I return to the car to find Christian looking incredibly grumpy.

"No Ana?" He asks, pouting like a petulant child.

"She needs to be here for her own sake Christian. She needs the distraction. If you don't want her here it's going to be your job to find her an alternative." I tell him as I start the car giving him no chance to jump out and go and try and persuade Ana otherwise.