Dudley Augmented

By - The Final Boss - /final_boss_editing

(Though I've written other things, this is my first foray into fan fiction. Enjoy.)

Dudley paced the five meter length of his small one bedroom apartment reviewing everything he'd prepared. He had a pudding, big enough for two, with the same sugared violets that mom used to use. He'd written to Harry's friend Ron to find a pack of Exploding Snap cards as a gift. And he'd even braved unboxing the sous vide he got two Christmases ago to make steaks.

Two supposedly medium rare cuts of prime rib bubbled around in zip-top bags in a plastic bin on his kitchen counter. Luckily the steaks could sit in their miniature jacuzzi all day because Harry was late again.

Dudley was debating putting the Manchester game on when he finally heard someone mumble "alohomora" in front of his apartment.

A wave of annoyance washed over him. Did all wizards abandon the courtesy of knocking these days?

But as Harry pushed into the door and slung his robe over the little table by the entrance, the exhaustion in his eyes told Dudley enough. This was his cousin. He'd been mistreated his whole life, and their world was different. Dudley took a breath, and his fists unclenched. It was always tough connecting with Harry, but he needed his Coz more than he wanted to admit. They'd agreed to these regular meetings for a reason. He silently repeated the mantra that had kept him going through their bumpier quarterly catch-ups: He's the only family I've got.

Harry gave Dudley a half-hearted wave, walked past him, and slumped into one of the chairs around Dudley's kitchen set. As he went by, Dudley caught the distinct smell of sulfur and smoke. Pasting on a smile, Dudley waved his hands and said, "Happy birthday, Coz!"

"Already? It really does blow by once you hit your forties."

"Well, at least you can magic away the kilos." Dudley clapped his gut with a hand. "I've had to run across the city for every ounce I've shed."

"Shed?"

"Okay, so I've not had as much time to hit the gym with the new job, but I'm really going to–"

Harry held up a hand, cutting him off. A moment later he tugged out a glimmering new iPhone and pressed it to his ear. The wizarding crew had wised up to some muggle tech over the years. Of course, Harry's phone was so pumped full of enchantments that it floated a centimeter from his ear while he riffled through his pockets and pulled out a strange brass sphere bearing black markings in a strange language etched around the edges.

Talking as loudly as an octogenarian, Harry screamed into his iPhone, "It's nothing of the sort. Honestly, I don't know what all the fuss was about."

He listened for a moment before continuing. "You don't think I tried? I blasted the thing with enough heat to turn sand to glass… Oh… An electric? I can check."

A moment later Harry's wand appeared in his fingers, and with a few swooping strokes, he called a bolt of miniature lighting down onto the little device. Dudley screamed and jumped back, cursing.

Harry blinked at him as if he'd forgotten he was there, and kept talking on the phone. "Yeah there's a mug here, it's okay though. No, no. He's family. But trust me, I've thought about it."

Dudley raised his eyebrows, but Harry just held up a finger while he kept talking. Dudley ignored the rest of the conversation and resorted to scrubbing the soot the lightning bolt had left on his dining room table.

Harry wrapped up the call and turned to him, "Look, Dudders, I can't stay long today. There's been another report of this warlock mucking around St. Paul's Cathedral."

"It's been twenty years, and I still hate that nickname."

"Sorry, Dudley. I'm just stressed today." Harry ran his fingers through his hair (at least he still had most of his). "I just sometimes think… I sometimes think my mum and dad had it easy."

Dudley stopped scrubbing the table and sat down. Harry never talked about his parents.

"They lived in a dangerous time, had me, worried about me, and well… died. But they never realized… things never get safer. You're always trying to stop the world from..." He held a hand out in a fatalistic gesture. "Doing what the world does I guess."

"I'm sorry mate," Dudley said, laying a paw on Harry's shoulder. "It's been tough for me too since Dad's heart attack and now mum…" He jerked his chin toward the pudding, complete with sugar violets.

Harry let out a strained laugh. "Her recipe?"

Dudley nodded.

"I always wanted to try a piece. But that Dobby… he certainly had a way of protecting people."

"Well, your wish is my command." Dudley jumped up from the table, and cut a thin slice and laid it down in front of Harry who took a huge bite.

"Just as sugary as I imagined… How did she stay so thin…"

"Dinner is still coming up, so don't fill up on dessert. Got two of the best steaks from the Smithfield Market"

Harry jerked upright, frosting dripping down his chin. "Smithfield? On Grand Avenue?"

"Yeah?"

"Dudley, have you had any shortness of breath?" Harry jumped up from his chair, and pointed his wand straight at Dudley's nose.

Now, over time, some of Dudley's prejudices had faded, but everytime that hunk of wood faced him, he felt like he was staring down the barrel of a pistol. The words came out harsher than Dudley intended. "Don't point that damn thing at me you freak…"

He cut himself off before he finished, but he saw a line of tension tighten along Harry's jaw. Even if being different had given him special powers, Harry still had always hated being abnormal. Dudley stammered, "I'm… Harry I didn't mean."

Harry stowed his wand in the little holster at his belt and shook his head. "It's fine. It's fine."

A coffee cup Dudley had left up on the counter exploded. Dudley raised his hands. "I just get a little gun shy, I didn't mean–"

"Don't… don't worry. Just relax, all right." Harry tried forcing a smile for a moment, but gave up and stared at the checkered floor. "A warlock has been hanging around the Grand Avenue area. This guy that calls himself the Augmenter. He's been… testing potions, strange stuff on muggles. Some of them just have trouble breathing, but others. They go insane. Others died."

Dudley's mouth fell open, and he spun toward the sous vide. "Are the steaks bad?"

"No… nothing like that. Just stay out of Smithfield for the next few days." Harry stuffed the little brass device in his pocket and marched toward the front door.

"You're leaving? But you haven't tried the sous vide… It's supposed to be…" Dudley bowed his head and muttered, "I'm sorry I keep ruining things."

"Hey, the pudding was bomb. I had no idea what I'd been missing out on." Harry flashed Dudley a smile as he tossed on his coat and grabbed his Firebolt. He paused and met Dudley's eyes. "We'll figure things out. It's just… been a hard year."

"Yeah." Dudley nodded, feeling like he should say something nice or apologize again or send Harry off with a steak or anything. But what could he do to make up for those years back at Privet? And even then, when Dudley was still his worst torturer, Harry had saved his life that night by the park. Dudley fumbled for words, but the seconds passed in silence.

Harry just sighed and repeated, "We'll figure things out."

As Dudley was wondering when exactly they'd figure things out after ten years of trying, Harry pointed his wand at the hallway window, pushing it open from a distance. Then, crouching over his broom, he shot for the open window in a blur.

Just as he streaked out of the building, a glint of bronze caught the sunlight.

Harry was over the next building and already heading in the direction of the cathedral by the time a metallic ping rattled off the tile of the apartment's hallway. Dudley ran to the window and called, "Harry your…" but the sky was empty.

"My commute would be a hell of a lot nicer with one of those," Dudley mumbled as he tromped down the hallway toward the little brass sphere.

He stared down at the strangely etched ball for a long moment before reaching for it.

Dudley had planned on picking up the ball and putting it in his pocket beside the Exploding Snap cards that he'd forgotten to give Harry. All stuff to be returned on Harry's next visit in a few months. However, the moment his fingertips brushed the bronze, the etchings snapped into focus.

Etched lines and curves slithered along the bronze surface and formed into words Dudley could understand:

"By blood and wood the change is wrought

By the death of the wise power is bought

My life I give, my wand I break

The cold, the sphere my soul to take.

– The Augmenter"

Dudley stared open mouthed at the creepy little poem, but he froze when he saw the name. People like him, normal folks, driven insane by this guy, and now this was in his house.

Suddenly, a voice echoed in his head, "Ah… a muggle. I was waiting for one of you."

Dudley let out a squeal that had no business coming out of a two-hundred and fifty pound man.

He cranked his arm back to hurl the device out the window when an electric charge erupted from the sphere and locked his muscles into place. "I must thank Harry for giving me some electricity to work with. Sorry again about your table."

Dudley's jaw could hardly move from the electricity seizing his muscles, but he managed to gasp out, "Who… you?"

"I thought you were the smart one. I'm the Augmenter, and you, my dear friend, are going to be my masterpiece."

"You're... ball of metal."

"Ah, the price of granting power. I'd rather not get into how this was possible." The ball stopped speaking for a moment, and Dudley got the clear impression of a bearded man decked in multiple cloaks of varying shades of gray rubbing his hands together in thought. "You see I have a vision of balancing the power. Punishing those who've hoarded strength."

"Power?" Dudley found he could start moving the fingers of his far hand. He tried to twist his leg. Maybe he could knock this damned sphere out of his spasmed grip if he fell just right.

"Yes, the wizards have been hoarding power from you, dear muggle. I saw how carelessly your own cousin treated you. Yes, horcruxes hear and see all. I watched as he destroyed your property, your table." Hatred laced the sphere's voice. "I will help you muggles rise, and we'll see who rules then."

"He's just diff… different." Dudley gasped out. For some reason, that weird sphere talking ill about Harry bothered him more than even being frozen in his apartement's hallway. "He saved me… long time ago… good person."

"Well, that'll make this so much easier. Your cousin, that good person you care so much about, he's walking into a trap I set for him in St. Paul's. I can personally guarantee his death unless another wizard intervenes." An apparition of that bearded wizard grinning appeared in front of Dudley.

Harry in danger? Dudley didn't doubt the creepy brass sphere, and his mind raced trying to think of any wizards he knew to contact. Ron maybe? He doubted this sphere would leave him alone long enough to contact them, but he could try. He felt movement returning, tingling to his leg. It was time to take a gamble.

Shoving with all of his strength. Dudley tipped his body toward his locked arm holding the electrified sphere.

His hand hit the ground hard and at a weird angle. He felt his shoulder pop, and he knew for a fact that he'd sprained it something terrible. But it was worth it. The little sphere popped free of his fingers and rolled down the hall.

He could move his body again. He jumped to his feet and scrambled away from that brass nightmare.

Of course, of damned course, that little ball started rolling toward him. Dudley sprinted down the hallway. It rolled faster after him. It had been a couple of years since Dudley had played football, but he still had as good of a punt as any of them.

The second that brass ball came into range, Dudley spun and gave it his best kick.

The sphere lifted into the air and went flying.

It hurtled away from him for a moment before freezing in mid-air, halfway down the hall of his apartment complex, and zooming back at him. Like a golden cannon-ball, the thing hurtled straight for his face. Dudley ducked, but in the last moment, the sphere swerved to the right and spun lazily around his head, a moon in orbit.

The voice sounded smug, "You will help me, muggle. Or your dear cousin will die. It isn't complex."

Dudley glared at the sphere rotating around his head. His shoulder hurt like hell, and all that psychic talking gave him a terrible headache. "You said no one but a wizard could save Harry. So you will back off and let me contact someone, and then I'll figure out how to deal with you."

"Ah, I see you're confused." The sphere made a tinkling sound that must have been its version of mocking laughter. "You will need a wizard, Dudley, dear, but you won't need to make any calls. Here… let me demonstrate."

Dudley's hand extended toward the peeling wooden doorframe of his neighbor's apartment. The sphere's orbit stopped just above his extended fingers, and a few drops of a ruby liquid formed at the bottom. The voice whispered, "Now say the words."

Dudley gasped out. "Accio… wand."

The door frame of apartment 15 cracked. A splinter as long as his arm ripped free, scattering bits of peeling paint across the tile floor. The hunk of wood hurtled through the air and stopped a centimeter shy of his fingertips.

The sphere passed over the splinter, dropping bits of the thick ruby substance along the wand. Smoke rose where each of the droplets fell, and the hallway smelled like a campfire.

Finally, Dudley's fingertips closed around the wood and he felt heat rush up his arm. His shoulder still throbbed, but suddenly he knew the words he'd need to fix it. He pointed the piece of his neighbor's door frame at his shoulder and said, "Episkey."

A pop sounded from beneath his collar bone, and he felt the slithering sensation of tendons reknitting. Then, an uncomfortable breath later, he moved his arm. It turned perfectly. The injury was healed. Hell, his shoulder hadn't felt this good since before the old boxing wound he'd gotten in the seventh grade.

He flexed his arm, swung it, marvelling.

That cold voice resumed, "Powerful, instinctive. That is good. I always knew muggles were ready. Ready to evolve."

Dudley wanted to respond but he just stared at the hunk of wood. This shouldn't be possible. He'd always been terrified of… these, of what people like Harry could do. Of the power they had when they pointed one at you. Dudley's fist clenched posessively around the piece of wood, and the Augmenter's voice whispered, "Ash and golem's blood. A good wand for a muggle."

"W… wand?"

"Do I really have to spell it out?" The Augmenter's voice grew sarcastic. "You're a wizard, Dudley."

End of Chapter 1 - This was super fun, but there probably won't be a chapter 2 unless a lot of folks ask for it.