It was Thursday night in the Gryffindor common room in November. Most of the students had disbanded up to their dorms, and only a few remained, playing exploding snap or wizard chess.
4 students however, had their heads bent over parchment and were studiously scribbling away with their quills. Actually 3 of them were, the fourth was hanging upside down in an armchair with his arms crossed.
"Please stop that Remus, it's making me feel dizzy." Sirius complained as he theatrically wiped sweat off his brow.
"Nope."
"This is your fault." James said turning to Peter.
"How was I to know this was going to happen?"
"You know, for once I'm with Petey on this one, for the 2 years, 2 months and 2 weeks we've known Remus, he's never done anything that would indicate he would react this way."
"Asides from turning into a monster once a month." James added drily.
Remus, with some difficulty, righted himself in the chair and hugged his knees to his chest.
"How have you only written 5 words between you?" He grumbled.
"Because you're distracting us!" James exploded.
"And the irony has long since got old." Sirius ran his hands through his hair and fixed Remus with a frown.
"Why don't you read a book?" James suggested, with the air of a harassed parent trying to distract their hyperactive toddler.
Remus picked up on this and felt really quite annoyed. Sirius was right, this situation was very ironic, because usually it was the other three who were badgering him while he worked. In fact, that had been exactly what had happened on Monday night, when this particular piece of homework had been set. And James was right that usually when he finished before the others, he would invariably curl up in an armchair with a novel. But he'd finished his book this morning and felt no desire to start another, nor could he as the marauders had been banned from the library for a month after an incident involving Sirius and a ladder. Added to that, considering it was 9 o'clock at night, he was feeling remarkably full of energy.
"Don't talk to me like I'm a child!" He retorted angrily, unconsciously bouncing up and down in the chair.
"Like I said, your fault." James said to Peter as he furiously crossed out everything he'd written down.
"How long do these things usually last?" Sirius said, directing his query to their only coherent muggle expert.
"It depends," said Peter miserably as he stared down at his non-existent essay.
"On what?"
"He means he doesn't know." James explained irritably. Then a thought struck him.
"Hang on, why hasn't this happened to any of us?"
"Some people go loopy and some don't." was Peter's gloomy reply.
"At least we know that Remus Lupin is never allowed candy floss ever again." Sirius declared.
It had happened when they'd gone up to their dorm after dinner. Peter had received a package from his parents containing 4 bags of candy floss. As it was a muggle food, it was perfectly natural for the two purebloods James and Sirius to be curious about it but what was surprising was Remus' reaction.
The half blood was absolutely fascinated, which had naturally prompted some questions.
"Remus mate, your mum's a muggle, haven't you had this stuff before?"
The very sticky werewolf had shook his head, a blissful expression adorning his freckled face, his sandy hair somehow full of the pink sugar.
Then, 10 minutes later, moments before James had remembered the very important charms homework due tomorrow, Remus had gone really quite mental. As Peter explained, he was having a sugar rush.
"How can he have never had candy floss before?" Sirius asked Peter.
"Well, I suppose you only ever really get it at the seaside or a fair. It's not really in supermarkets." Peter braced himself to get ready to explain supermarkets again, a topic which Remus had already attempted to teach the other two just last night; they'd still not grasped the concept 2 hours later.
"Oh." It had suddenly dawned on Sirius why Remus had never eaten candy floss before. And it was the saddest reason in the world.
"He's never been to those places." He whispered.
"Oh god, that's awful." James breathed. "Guys lets, let's have some fun."
"But Flitwick said if we handed in one more essay late he'd charm the tables to only give us tepid cabbage soup." Peter reminded James anxiously.
This was the reason the marauders had been so desperate to finish their homework.
"He does get in quite a bit of trouble for us," Sirius said "Maybe it's time we got in some for him."
Peter looked like he was about to protest, and he even opened his mouth, but a stern look from Sirius made him change his mind.
"Okay." He said, unwillingly.
"Then it's settled. Remus, want a pillow fight?"
The bored werewolf had turned upside down again but at Sirius' words he, considerably unsuccessfully, flipped himself round and grinned at the marauders.
-
5 minutes later, the boys were all assembled in their pyjamas.Peter's were tartan, James had stripes and Remus, (who hadn't really grown for about 2 years), had blue ones covered in trains. Sirius considered himself too badass for pyjamas and usually wore a t- shirt and his boxers but James insisted he put on shorts.
The fight was ferocious, with no teams and the only rule was anything goes. It didn't take long for the pillows to burst and soon the entire dormitory was covered in features because, as each pillow exploded, Remus conjured another.
Half an hour in, the boys were all resembling swans. Remus especially was barely recognisable, as his curly hair, which still had candy floss in it, trapped every single feather it came into contact with so he looked like he was wearing a huge fluffy white hat.
Downstairs, three charms essays lay unfinished.
-
2 days later they came down to breakfast, and Peter insisted they didn't sit in their usual seats. In fact the portly boy was looking immensely anxious.
They sat down, and Remus reached for his usual pain au chocolat, when he noticed that his friends had chosen a really quite odd breakfast. All of them were staring somewhat queasily, Peter especially looked like he was about to faint, at lumpy, cold cabbage soup.