PAUL BLART meets the BABY DINOSAUR GANG;
chapter 2; The Sixth Sense
Paul Blart's life flashed before his eyes as he flew over the counter of cinnabon. He saw glimpses of himself as a young man of twenty three, running from 13 year old bullies who would yell hurtful names like 'weird fat dinosaur guy' and throw pinecones at him. He saw himself years later, his wife leaving him and his young daughter. She would never understand Littlefoot™'s journey and what it meant to Paul Blart. He saw himself hitting rock bottom, and praying to the great longnecks to give him strength to defeat the terrorists who had taken over the mall.
Those dreams of honorable dinosaurs had been shattered in an instant. The Baby Dinosaur Gang™'s segways halted in front of the cinnibon. They watched with baleful eyes as Paul Blart rise from behind the counter, covered in cinnamon rolls.
The guy working at cinnibon stared at the wrinkled dinosaur youths, in disbelief. He turned to Paul Blart as if looking for an explanation, but all paul Blart would provide was trembling terror.
"YOU HAVE TO HELP ME" Paul Blart managed to blurt out in a hoarse whisper, "THEYRE GOING TO BITE ME ON MY-"
"BDUUUUH" interrupted Spike™ with meaningful inflection. Paul Blart gave a girlish scream as he noticed the ageless dinosaurs hoisting their sagging bulky torsos over the counter. Paul Blart darted backwards and into a secret passageway he had sensed years before but never fully investigated.
Working so intimately within a mall allows a mall cop to pick up on subtle things like secret closets and passageways that the original architects never built and coul'dnt explain. This unspoken bond with the mall is called 'Mall Sense' and it's what helped Paul Blart defeat a squad of professional heist-master terrorists singlehandedly.
Paul Blart scampered down the passage, not thinking about where it would lead, trusting his mall-sense. Suddenly the floor gave way under him and he fell into a public restroom.
"ACK! Me startled! Me no expect big fat guy to fly from ceiling. You no good flyer!" Paul Blart shambled into a corner and glanced around. There, sitting in the urinal wearing a urinal cake as a hat, was none other than PETRIE.
TO BE CONTINUED