Flash slowly made his way to the office with each passing step becoming more uncomfortable than the last. With the book firmly lodged up his ass, all he could do was waddle like a duck and pray to God that he doesn't sneeze or do anything to blast it out of him prematurely. He eventually found himself at the door of Principal Celestia. He knocked with his good arm and when he was told to "come in" he opened the door and stood in front of the two leaders of the school. Principal Celestia was sitting patiently at her desk as Vice Principal Luna stood proudly by her sister's side. Celestia gestured toward the chair in front of her, "Flash, take a seat."

Flash nervously scratched the back of his head, "Uhh…I can't."

"Why not?"

"….I have a book up my butt." Flash said as he tried to hold back the tears in his eyes. The two sisters gave a quick glance to each other, then back to Flash. Vice Principal Luna spoke up, "Flash we told you before, the books here are for READING not for….whatever it is you do with them."

"But THIS time it wasn't my fault! You see Twilight-"

"No excuses! You're going to have to go to the infirmary, get it removed, and pay for the book damage."

"Aww, COME ON!" Flash yelled in protest. He was going to argue his case even further but Celestia held up a hand and stopped him, "Now Flash, we can discuss this later. We have a more important topic at hand." She pulled out a couple of papers from her desk and began to read them, "Flash, we regret to tell you-"

"More like obligated to inform you." Luna chimed in.

"Yes, that at 10:26 in the morning, your parents were found dead at the bottom of the Everfree Lake."

"Oh yeah, that's right…. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?"

"Language Flash!" Celestia scolded, then went back to reading her papers. "Well according to police reports, your parents deliberately drove their car into the lake and never came back up for air."

Flash shook his head in disbelief, "What? That can't be right! How did they know it wasn't an accident?"

"Because of this note they found in your home." Luna countered as she handed Flash the piece of paper. Flash began to read the letter to himself, "Dear Flash, your mother and I have come to an agreement that we cannot live with the reality that you are our son. So after little consideration, we have decided to disown you all together. It's not us, it's you. You are a complete failure at life, and we have no hope for you in the future. Therefore, we took it upon ourselves to spend all of your college funds on weed and begin our new lives as fish people. So with that said, we wish you the best of luck…or not. We don't care either way."

Flash read the letter over and over, letting each word sink into the back of his mind. He then looked up at the two principals as he let the note drop to his side, "I…can't believe it. My parents are actually dead…."

Principal Celestia nodded her head, "Yes Flash, these things happen. Now-"

"W-What's going to happen to me?" Flash wailed as he yanked out some of his hair in a panic.

"Well because your 18th birthday was last week, you are now legally an adult, therefore you are no longer required to attend school. We do, however, encourage you to finish the rest of the year because let's face it, the farthest you are going to get without a decent education is a job as a cart pusher at Wool-Mart. As for your living arrangements, we would have reached out to more of your family, but we have better things to do. So essentially, you're on your own." Vice Principal Luna concluded as she shrugged with total apathy.

Flash started to cry, "B-But but, I can't live on my own! Who's going to cook for me or tell me I'm a big boy when I remember to wear underwear to school? Who's going to pick up my ointment from the pharmacy? I'm BANNED from that place for pocketing vitamins and stealing Viagra!"

Principal Celestia rolled her eyes, "That's… not our problem. You can leave now. Bye."

"Oh…okay." Flash whimpered pathetically. He turned around to open the door but looked back at the sisters one more time, "Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you guys adopt me? You two can be my mommies, and then I can be your daddy too-"

"FLASH, that is highly inappropriate! You now have detention as well!" Celestia scolded as she pointed him out the door.

"AH, GOD DAMNIT!" Flash groaned as he left the office. He shut the door behind him and waddled to a nearby water fountain and took a drink. After he had his fill, he punched the wall in a fit of rage and yelled to himself, "THIS SUCKS! First Twilight rejects me, then my parents DIE, and now I have detention! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Did you say Twilight rejected you?"

"Huh?" Flash wondered as he looked over to a certain white-haired girl who was leaning against the wall next to him.

"Because I can help get back at her you know." The girl smugly proclaimed as Flash blinked in confusion.

"Uhh….who are you?"

"WHAT? How do you not know me!? I'm in like…five of your classes!"

"Oh, I don't really pay attention in those. I mostly just sit by the window and secretly jerk off to porn on my phone."

"…yeah I'm just going to pretend you never said that. Look, since you clearly don't know, I am the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE! Master of the universe, and GREATEST magician of all time! And today is YOUR lucky day! For I have graciously decided to bestow my powers to you and through cooperation, I can help get revenge on the one who wronged you and broke your pathetic heart!" Trixie proposed as she clenched her hand with might.

Flash gasped, "Are you going to suck my dick?"

"NO! Listen, do you want to get back at Twilight or not!?"

"Oh, uh y-yeah! Totally! She made me look like an idiot!"

Trixie crossed her arms, "You are an idiot Flash! But as long as you do EXACTLY what the Great and Powerful Trixie commands, then we cannot possibly fail!"

"Awesome! But, why do you want to get back at her?" Flash wondered as Trixie turned away dramatically, "Well you see, two weeks ago during science class…."

*Flashback to Trixie and Twilight taking a test*

Twilight leans over to her and whispers, "Hey Trixie, can I borrow a pencil?"

"Yeah sure, whatever."

*Cuts back to present day*

"And she hasn't given it back to me since! THAT DIRTY FREE LOADER! Trixie yelled as she stomped her feet in frustration.

Flash scratched is head, "Uh…but it's just a pencil-"

"NO IT'S NOT! It costed me 15 bits, has my name engraved on it, and she's keeping it just to spite me!"

"Can't you just ask for it back?"

"HAH! The Great and Powerful Trixie does not resort to pitiful begging! She will however, go through the effort of plotting someone's demise! So are you in?"

"Yeah! This is going to be fun!" Flash gleefully smiled as he reached out to shake Trixie's hand.

"I'm not touching you….here." Trixie quickly handed him a business card, "We're going to need to be in contact in case something goes wrong, but if anyone asks….I don't know you."

"Hey, that's what my parents used to say….before they died." Flash recalled as Trixie gave him an awkward look.

"Uh yeah…. sorry for your loss. Bye!" Trixie then threw down a magic pellet and disappeared instantly leaving Flash by himself surrounded by smoke.

"*cough* *cough* ACK *cough* ah…ah...AH…ACHOO!" Flashed sneezed and felt the book painfully explode out of his rectum. "Ow." He then collapsed face first onto the tiled floor and laid there unconsciously with each passing student ignoring him and occasionally stepping on his back like a doormat.