A/N - Welcome back to the story!
Ben had spent his entire life wrestling with the Dark. He'd spent his childhood fighting it, his adolescence embracing it. He had thrived in it when others would have failed.
But the darkness surrounding him now was a stark reminder that he'd lost the only thing that mattered to him. And he'd lost her because he was an idiot, a fool. He'd lost her because of that bastard Hux, the man who had abused Rey when she first came to the palace.
Ben should have killed him when he had the chance.
In truth, he was the one that had caused this awful mess. He knew that, he despised himself for it, but he couldn't change it now no matter how much he would like to.
He swore that if he ever got her back he would spend the rest of their lives trying to alleviate the impact of his sins. He would make this up to her, if he could, if she could ever forgive him, and if they didn't destroy her first. The red haze of his vision darkened as he fisted his hands in frustration.
Stay in control, he reminded himself. Stay in control, it's the only way you'll get her back alive. Stay calm. They had to be prepared. If there was any chance of getting her back, of winning this war, they had to be prepared, or they would fail.
It was nearly impossible to remain composed though. He knew that he was on the verge of completely unraveling and letting the monster within take over. His hands tingled with the urge to ignite his saber and drive it through the hearts of Snoke, Hux, and every other person that ever touched her. He craved their deaths with a ferociousness that he had never experienced before.
He wanted their bodies littering the ground at his feet, and he wanted it now.
If he wasn't certain he would be killed before he could get to her, he'd have gone after her without the Resistance. If he thought they would set her free in exchange for him, he would have walked up to the palace gates and handed himself over. He would gladly die for her, but his death would do nothing to save her from this, and she would never forgive him for ruining everything they had worked so hard for.
Truth be told, he'd never forgive himself either. There were too many lives at stake, too much was at risk. There were people that he cared about…
That was the worst part of it all. He had come to care for them.
Finn pissed him off, but Rey loved the idiot and he wasn't entirely obnoxious anymore. His Mother and Uncle infuriated him to no end, but they were still family. He'd even come to like and admire Rey's other friends, Poe and Rose.
He couldn't let them all down. He couldn't bring himself to destroy the only chance at happiness and peace that they'd ever hoped to attain, that Rey had ever hoped to obtain. She would forgive him for not coming for her immediately, he knew that, but she would never forgive him if he ruined everything.
Rey was alive, he could sense it. He longed to reach out to her through their bond, but he knew that Snoke would detect it immediately.
By now, Snoke had probably realized that she was important to him, and would no doubt use it against him. Whatever torture he had in store for her, however, Ben had no doubt would not occur until he was present. Snoke would intend to make sure that Ben witnessed the worst of what was done to her.
At least, that was the hope Ben clung to, otherwise he knew he would leave these woods and go to the palace now. Otherwise he would ruin everything and Rey would be lost.
He wouldn't allow that to happen to Rey, even if it meant giving himself over to the darkness that lurked within him, and was so close to consuming him now. He just had to keep it at bay until they were ready to move.
Ben could give into the darkness when he found Snoke and Hux, he could let it rule him in order to destroy them. Maybe, if he and Rey both survived, he would be able to salvage whatever was left of himself after.
A/N - Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
As always, please leave a review with your thoughts, suggestions, and predictions, and I'll see you in the next chapter!
~ Elizabeth (FanOfDeliciousFlavour)