Jess sat curled up on her couch the following afternoon, staring at a TV movie that was on but hardly watching it. She'd thought that bringing Abel back would allow her a couple of days to just be happy, but after that kiss from Jax, all she was was confused.
She'd been telling herself for months that she'd moved on from Jax. She'd thought it enough times that she was beginning to believe it. But a kiss from any other guy had never made her feel the way she felt kissing Jax. She knew she had been right to stop it; she'd just returned his kidnapped son to him and both of their emotions were running high. If something did end up happening between her and Jax, she wanted to make sure it was real before she put her heart out there again.
She finally pulled herself off the couch, walking out onto the balcony to smoke a cigarette. She knew at some point that day she'd need to go over to the clubhouse to talk to Jax. He'd want to know how she found Abel and she still needed to relay Tara's message to him, but she was delaying the inevitable.
As she sat on the balcony staring out at the lot across the street, she realized the inevitable was coming to her as she saw Jax stride through the lot and across the street. Her heart thudded in her chest. She'd wanted to wait until she was ready to see him again, but it seemed like he was ready now. She stood, leaning over the balcony and he looked up at her, shielding his eyes from the sun.
"Hey!" he called up to her.
"Hey," she replied, "Um, Lux isn't here." She knew he wasn't here to see Lux, but she was still hopeful that maybe he had come with different intentions than she'd thought. He hadn't.
"Yeah, I know. She's still at the clubhouse," he said, "I wanted to talk to you. Can I come up?"
Jess nodded, turning around to walk inside as Jax ran up the stairs. She checked her reflection in the mirror by the door, grimacing at her sweats and her hair thrown up in a knot on top of her head, but there was nothing she could do about it now. She sighed, her hand noticeably shaking as she opened the door and Jax walked inside.
"Do you… want a beer or something?" Jess asked nervously as they walked towards the living room. Jax shook his head and didn't sit down, so Jess followed his lead and remained standing as well, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. The memory of their last kiss played on repeat in her mind and she shook her head, trying to get it out.
"I wanted to thank you again," Jax began, "For bringing Abel back. I don't know what I would've done without you." He sighed, rubbing his hand over his face before turning to look directly into her eyes, "Especially after all the shit I've said to you." Jess gave him a small smile.
"I don't hate you, Jax," she said, "I hated seeing you suffer. I only figured out where Tara was because she wanted me to find her. She knows she made a mistake." He shook his head, taking a step closer to her.
"I don't want to talk about Tara," he said, "Not today. Not now, at least."
"Okay…" Jess said, immediately confused. Hadn't that been the reason he'd come to see her? She watched as he reached into his cut, pulling a small box out of the inside pocket. He held it gingerly in his fingertips for several moments before finally handing it to her.
"I didn't really know how to say thank you," he said, sounding more nervous than Jess had ever heard him. He was always so confident that it threw her off for a moment, "Lux told me you might like a charm for your bracelet so I… I picked that one out for you."
Jess's face broke out into a surprised smile, taking the box from him. She looked at him for a moment as he shoved his hands nervously in his pockets, watching her intently. She finally tore her gaze from his and looked down at the box, opening it slowly. A small gasp escaped her lips as she stared down at the charm he'd picked out for her – a small silver sun. She stared down at the charm for several moments, knowing what it represented the second she saw it, and felt herself begin to tear up. She lifted the charm out of the box, her lips parting in astonishment as she held it up by the small ring it dangled from. She finally looked back at Jax, having no words.
"Because of… you know… the sun rise," he said. She stared back at him, continuing to be at a loss for words. The night they'd watched the sunrise together. The night she'd first fallen for him. After all the events that had happened since, she hadn't thought that night had meant as much to him as it had to her. But seeing the memory of that night dangling in front of her face, a gift from Jax, she knew that it had.
The past eight months flashed quickly through her mind, this time seeing things from his perspective. The time they'd spent together. The fight they'd had after Jess had blown up at him over Ima and his past arrest. How he had expressed his insecurities that she wouldn't be able to handle his life through anger. How he'd gotten back together with Tara soon after. How he'd protected her from Craig and Charlie. How jealous he'd been, seeing her with other guys. The way he'd always looked at her.
She clutched the sun in her fist, walking over to Jax as she threw her arms around his neck, standing up on her tiptoes. He quickly followed her lead, his arms wrapped around her back as he kissed her. And this time she didn't want to end it. This time, she wanted the kiss to go forever. She gripped him tighter, clutching him to her until they finally broke apart for air. Jess looked up at him, smiling, breathing heavily.
"Can we just start over?" she asked hopefully. He grinned, clutching her ass in his hands as he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping his shoulders tightly as she kissed him again. He walked her over to the wall, pressing himself against her to hold her up, continuing their urgent kiss. Jess ran her hands through his hair as his lips moved from hers to her neck and she smiled serenely. She felt one of his hands move up her body, slipping under her shirt.
"You know, I said start over," she said, "Not get naked." He lifted his head from her neck, grinning.
"That is how we started," he said. She laughed, leaning her head back against the wall as she smiled back at him. He kissed her again, carrying her away from the wall and down the hall toward her bedroom.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this happy. She didn't know if she'd ever felt this happy. She finally had it all. A job she loved, a family she loved, and a man who she was finally beginning to admit to herself that she just might love. Nothing had turned out at all the way she'd imagined, but she wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
Jess wandered around Cara Cara, stopping by various tables to make sure they were okay and feeling like she was on cloud 9. She saw Lux waiting on a table and walked over to her, unable to wipe the smile off her face.
"How's everyone doing tonight?" she asked cheerfully, looking at the table and noticing it was the sharp-dressed man, Ethan, along with the same men she'd seen him with before.
"Not as good as you, by the looks of it," Ethan said, smiling up at her. Lux grinned.
"Oh of course she's in a good mood," she said teasingly, "She's finally got a boyfriend." Jess rolled her eyes, shaking her head, but couldn't stop smiling.
"Oh really?" Ethan said, his eyebrows raised, "I can hear the hearts breaking all over the room." Jess laughed at him.
"And then when they get married, we'll be sisters!" Lux said excitedly.
"Oh, so the new boyfriend is your brother?" Ethan asked.
"Yes," Jess answered for her, "But we've only been together a week and marriage is definitely not even a possibility right now."
"Yeah, well, it took you two long enough to get together," Lux said, turning to look at Ethan, "They should've been together half a year ago, but they were too stupid to admit how much they cared about each other." Jess felt herself blushing, shaking her head.
"We don't need to bore Ethan with this anymore," she said, "Not when there's money to be spent on naked ladies." Lux grinned as she walked off to grab their drinks and Jess waved good bye at the table as she walked toward the office, having to stop herself from skipping.
"You know, it's nice to see you so happy," Luann commented as Jess walked through the door of the office, "It's about time." Jess grinned, collapsing in a chair on the other side of Luann's desk, nodding.
"You're telling me," she said, "I've never felt like this before. It's kind of scary."
"Because you know it can all be taken away from you at any moment?" Luann asked. Jess nodded, her eyes widening slightly.
"I guess you know how that feels," Jess said quietly. Luann nodded.
"Yeah, I do," she said, "But if you can learn anything from my mistakes, I hope it's to enjoy and appreciate what you've got while you've got it." Jess gave her a small smile.
"I will," she said, standing up and walking back towards the door.
"Oh and Jess?" Luann said. Jess turned around and Luann smiled at her, "I'm happy for you."
"Thanks…. Mom," Jess said and Luann's smile widened as Jess turned to walk back into the club.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess sat at her desk in the office, watching the lights turn on in the club to signal closing time and she smiled, grabbing her purse and walking out of the office. Before she and Jax had gotten together, she dreaded closing time. Things had been so complicated between them and between her and the club that she hated being home where all she had to do was dwell on the fact. Now, though, things were different. She couldn't wait to get off work and finally see Jax again.
She didn't have to wait long to see him that night. As she walked out the door of Cara Cara she could see him leaning against his bike in the parking lot smoking a cigarette. Her smile widened as she ran up to him and he tossed his cigarette aside before taking her into his arms, kissing her in greeting.
"How was work?" he asked.
"Fine," she replied, "What are you doing here?" He shrugged.
"Waiting on you," he answered, stating the obvious. She grinned, her arms still wrapped tightly around his waist. He reached behind him, grabbing his helmet and handing it to her. She let go of him, grabbing the helmet and looking at him curiously.
"I've got my car here," she said. He shrugged.
"We'll get it later," he said, "I want you to come on a ride with me." She grinned, nodding as she bucked the helmet on before climbing on the back of the bike behind him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and they sped off.
They drove for a couple of hours toward the coast, finally stopping at a scenic point in Point Reyes, where large cliffs met the ocean. Jax waited for Jess to climb off the bike before he did and he walked with her to the edge of the cliff, overlooking the ocean. They sat on the grass, staring out at the horizon for several minutes before Jess finally looked over at him.
"You know, you still haven't asked me how I found Abel," she told him. She'd been waiting for him to bring up the conversation every day for the past week, waiting to talk to him about Tara's request, but so far he had avoided the subject of Tara like the plague. He looked down at her, nodding.
"No, I haven't," he replied. She stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate and he took a deep breath, "I didn't want to talk about Tara. Not when we've just started… whatever this is."
"We have to at some point," Jess said. Jax shrugged, nodding.
"Okay," he said, relenting, "So how did you find Abel?"
"Tara sent me a postcard," Jess replied and Jax raised his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not expecting that answer, "It was cryptic, but once I'd figured it out, it told me where she was staying."
"And where was that?" Jax asked.
"I can't tell you that," she said and Jax narrowed his eyes at her. She shrugged, "I promised I wouldn't tell you where she was. She wanted some time to… figure things out. And she's scared." Jax snorted, shaking his head.
"Yeah, she should be," he muttered. Jess sighed. She knew better than to expect Jax to be able to forgive and forget, but she'd hoped waiting a week to bring it up would help soften some of his resolve.
"She asked me to talk to you about some things," Jess said a little nervously.
"What?" Jax asked.
"She wants to still be able to see Abel," Jess told him. Jax rolled his eyes, staring out at the ocean. The sun wouldn't be rising for another hour so it was still dark around them and Jess was having a hard time reading his expression.
"She's not his mother," he finally replied.
"She's the closest thing he's got," Jess said gently. When he turned to look at her in disbelief she added, "You know it's true." Jax sighed, wrapping his arm around Jess's shoulder and bringing her close to him. She laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat and feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.
"Yeah, she can see him," he muttered, "But I don't want to see her. That wouldn't be good for anybody. And she's gonna have to wait. It's not a good time right now." Jess nodded, deciding not to argue. That was actually a better outcome than she'd thought.
"Thanks, Jax," she said quietly. He turned his head to look down at her and she lifted her head from his chest. He leaned down, kissing her softly.
"No more talking about Tara," he murmured, continuing to kiss her as he leaned her back in the grass, settling himself on top of her. She grinned up at him, their legs intertwined and her hands running through his long hair.
"Okay," she agreed in a whisper, giggling as she felt his hands moving up and down her body.
"This is a public place," she reminded him. He lifted his head, looking around at the completely deserted cliffside.
"Tonight it's not," he whispered, his lips moving down her neck just as the sun began to peek out above the horizon. This was going to be one sunrise that they would not be watching.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess and Lux sat on the balcony at the apartment the next night after work sipping on cocktails, both in high spirits. They were planning on going over to the clubhouse soon to see Jax and Tig, but the girls decided to have a much needed drink together before heading over.
"I'm glad you're finally back home, at least for one night," Lux said teasingly and Jess grinned, shrugging. She'd been spending every night since Jax gave her that charm at his house, but it felt nice being back home. She stared down at the bracelet on her wrist, playing with the sun charm in between her fingertips.
"We've had to make up for a lot of lost time," Jess said, giggling. Lux laughed, shaking her head.
"When will people learn that they should just listen to me the first time around?" she asked, "Well, now you know. I'm always right."
"How could I have ever made such a mistake?" Jess asked mockingly. Lux chuckled, curling up on the chair she was sitting in and leaning her head back against the head rest.
"God I'm glad you gave Jax another chance," Lux said, "He gets so grumpy when he's not getting laid." Jess laughed, shaking her head.
"You guys seriously have a weird relationship," she said, grinning. Lux shrugged, taking a sip of her drink before finally nodding in agreement, "And what do you mean, not getting laid? When's the last time he spent a night alone?" Lux shrugged.
"He hasn't been with anyone else since Tara split. Not until you, anyway," Lux told her. Jess raised her eyebrows in surprise. She knew Jax had always had his pick of croweaters, and the short amount of time that he was single for the first time since becoming president, she'd assumed they'd be flocking all over him.
"I think you're gonna be really good for him," Lux said happily, "I can feel it. He needs someone like you."
"And what am I like?" Jess asked.
"You know, someone that'll call him on his bullshit but be there for him when he really needs it," Lux replied. Jess nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of her drink.
"Yeah, I guess I am kind of like that, huh?" she asked. She turned her head, frowning as she leaned forward to look between the bars of the balcony.
"What are you looking at?" Lux asked her. Jess nodded to the street where a black town car was driving slowly by, its headlights turned off. Lux's eyes widened as she jumped up from her chair, her drink tumbling out of her hand. Glass shattered everywhere, but Lux barely seemed to notice as she grabbed Jess's shoulder, jerking her up.
"We need to get inside!" she yelled, "NOW!"
Jess didn't need Lux to tell her twice. Lux flung the glass door open and ran inside, Jess following close on her heels as gunfire erupted all around them. Jess's body lurched as a bullet pierced her belly. She clutched her side to see blood beginning to ooze through her tshirt as she felt all the wind get knocked out of her when a second bullet pierced through her abdomen. She felt as if everything was happening in slow motion as she looked up to stare at Lux, raising her blood-drenched hand in shock.
"JESS!" Lux screamed, grabbing Jess by the shoulder and pulling her to the ground. Lux threw herself on top of Jess as glass from the floor to ceiling windows rained down around them. Lux winced as she felt several shards of glass pierce her back and she raised her arms to protect her head. Almost as soon as it had started, there was silence, apart from the sound of burning rubber as the car sped away.
Lux crawled off of Jess, kneeling down to look at her as a pool of blood began to spread outwards from her body. She wanted to scream and cry, but most of all she just wanted Jess to be okay. She didn't know if it was possible with the blood lost already, and she knew enough about gunshot wounds to know she had to be bleeding internally as well.
"Don't worry, Jess," Lux said, trying as hard as she could to keep her voice strong and steady, "We'll get help. You're going to be okay."
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jax walked out of the doors of the clubhouse, lighting a cigarette and looking up to see a friendly sparring match going on between Chibs and Happy. He grinned, pocketing his lighter and shaking his head as Chibs let Happy get an easy punch in.
"He's kicking your ass!" Jax called out, laughing as he walked over to join Opie and Tig on the picnic bench.
"So what's everyone doing tonight?" Opie asked. Jax took a drag of his cigarette, grinning at his friend.
"Jess is coming by soon," he said. Opie turned to Tig.
"Lux is coming by," Tig said.
"Great, so I guess we won't be hanging," Opie muttered, just as the sound of gunfire echoed around them.
"GET DOWN!" Jax shouted as everyone outside immediately hit the floor. It was over soon and Jax glanced up to see a black town car speeding away. He jumped up, ripping his gun from his ankle as he ran off after them, but they were long gone by the time he got to the street. He cursed angrily as he jogged back to the clubhouse, looking around.
"Everyone okay?" he asked, looking around to see them all slowly getting to their feet. Tig dusted his jeans off, looking around worriedly.
"Nothing was hit," he said, his voice trailing off as he saw something behind Jax's back that caused his eyes to widen and he took off, sprinting across the lot.
"LUX!" Tig screamed, his voice full of panic. Jax wheeled around, looking up at Lux and Jess's apartment to see the living room brightly lit and the entire wall, which had been floor to ceiling windows, completely shattered. The color drained from his face as he took off quickly after Tig, the others not far behind him.
He ran in to see Lux clutching Jess, who was clearly fading. Her eyes were closed and she didn't look like she was moving. Lux stood, covered in blood, as Jax rushed over to her.
"I don't… I didn't know what to do," Lux said, watching as Jax kneeled beside Jess, clutching her face in his hands. Lux finally turned, rushing to Tig and collapsing into his arms. Tig kissed her forehead in relief before clutching her tightly to him, both of them watching as Chibs ran up to Jess, kneeling beside her and looking over her wounds.
"Someone, call 911!" Chibs yelled as he ripped off his shirt, placing it tightly over one of the bullet holes, "Grab me that towel from the kitchen," he ordered Jax, who immediately rushed into the kitchen and grabbed a towel hanging from the oven.
"Put pressure on that wound," Chibs said when Jax returned, nodding to the bullet hole farther up her chest. Jax nodded, doing as he directed before looking back at Chibs expectantly.
"It doesn't look good, Jax," he said, quiet enough for no one but Jax to hear. Jax swallowed hard, feelings his nostrils flair and his jaw clench as he bent over Jess, tenderly brushing the hair out of her face and running the back of his fingers softly over her cheek as he held the towel tightly to the wound.
"She's gonna be okay," he said forcefully, trying to convince himself as much as everyone else. She had to be okay.
Author's Note: Sorry this is posted a little later than usual! I was out of town all weekend and only just got back.
Thank you all so so much for reading and especially for reviewing! I really hope you liked this chapter. Please let us know what you thought! The better feedback we get, the better the story will be and the sooner we will post the next chapter!