Author's Note: Not sure if 'sorry' is going to cut it here, but we really are! Life got in the way - lost my job, had to move cities, had to find a new job - and I lost a lot of motivation to write. I didn't want to just bang something out and post it just for the sake of posting because I knew if I did that the story would suffer, so I've been waiting until I found some motivation.
Now since I've already made y'all wait over a month to read this chapter, I'll let you get to it:
Jess stood in the clubhouse, surrounded by a somber crowd dressed in black as she stared at the casket in front of her, on top of which was draped Mile's cut. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it, even when Jax walked up and stood next to her. Miles had died trying to protect her. How could she ever reconcile that?
"It's not your fault," Jax said quietly, reading Jess's thoughts. She turned to look at him, tears glistening in her eyes.
"In what possible way is this not my fault?" she asked him. Jax shook his head, wrapping his arms around her.
"Zobelle killed Miles," he replied, "And I'm the one who sent him with you instead of going myself. So take your pick on who to blame, but it's not you." Jess's lip trembled as she shook her head, wrapping her arms around his waist as she leaned her head against his chest.
"But if you had gone then you might be dead," she whispered, "And that would have killed me."
"Yeah, I know the feeling," he replied quietly. They stood in silence for several minutes until Jess finally spoke again.
"How's Abel doing?" Jess asked. Jax shrugged.
"He still thinks the whole thing was a game," he said, "Lux did good. He should be fine." Jess nodded as Jax kissed her lightly on the top of the head before walking towards the casket, placing his hand upon it as he looked down at Miles' cut, shaking his head. This shouldn't have happened.
As relieved as he was that Zobelle was finally dead, he knew it would be a long time before the events of that day would really be behind any of them.
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As the months passed, Jess threw herself completely into preparing for Cara Cara's grand opening. Construction was coming along right on time thanks to the beautiful California weather and there was still so much to do before they opened. Jess was thankful for the work and the distraction. It allowed her to live momentarily in a world where she had never been kidnapped; where Lux hadn't had to kill six people to save their lives. She couldn't deal with the emotions surrounding that day, and so she ignored them.
The most important item on her agenda was hiring employees. She'd put an ad out in the Charming Gazette and Lux had been spreading the word around Georgie's that any of the girls who had gone there from Cara Cara would be welcome back for the opening. Rob the bartender had already agreed to resume his post and she'd lined up several interviews for waitresses and dancers, but she was still missing her top dancers from Cara Cara.
Jess walked up the stairs to her apartment, tired after a long day working with an interior designer ordering furniture, dishes, signs, and artwork. She opened the door to the apartment, walking in to see Lux walking out of her room dressed for work. They hadn't spent a whole lot of time together since the kidnapping, mostly because every time Jess saw her all she could think about was being trapped in that closet with her, knowing she was going to die. Either Lux was as good as Jess at hiding and ignoring her feelings, or the ordeal hadn't affected her as much. Either way, Jess was finding it hard to be around her.
"Oh, hey!" Lux said, smiling as Jess closed the door behind her, "How'd it go with the designer?"
"Fine," Jess said, "I've been meaning to ask you, Ima and Lyla aren't working at Georgie's now, are they?" Lux shook her head.
"Nah, I don't know where they ran off to," she said. Jess sighed, frowning as she threw herself onto the couch.
"I need them back at Cara Cara," she said, "They were our top earners. I don't get them back, it's going to be harder to get our old clients back."
"I can ask around for you," Lux suggested, "See if some of the girls at Georgie's know where they are." Jess nodded, smiling gratefully at Lux.
"That'd be great," she said, "I ran by Ima's old apartment, but she's not staying there anymore."
"It's a small town. I'm sure somebody knows something," Lux said and Jess nodded. Lux started to the door, her hand on the door knob before she turned around, "Are you staying here tonight or going to Jax's again?" she asked.
"Probably Jax's," Jess replied, "I just needed to pick up some clothes." Lux nodded.
"Okay," she said quietly, "You know… I miss you." Jess glanced up from her spot on the couch to look at Lux.
"I miss you, too," Jess replied, "I just…" her voice trailed off. She didn't know how to explain.
"It happened to me, too, you know," Lux said gently, "You don't have to hide and pretend like everything's okay. You can talk to me." Jess shook her head, turning to look away from Lux.
"I don't want to talk about it," she replied. She felt Lux standing there, waiting, but she finally opened the door.
"Okay, well… you know where to find me if you do," she said before walking out of the door, closing it softly behind her. Jess sighed, exhaling heavily before she stood from the couch. She walked back into her room, a room she'd only slept in a few times over the past few months and only when Jax was on a run. Not that she'd slept much. Every time she closed her eyes all she saw was that guard's knife, raised high before it slammed into her thigh, or Zobelle's face as he sneered at her hatefully. She rubbed her thigh over the scar subconsciously as she stared at her closet, finally grabbing several outfits and throwing them in a duffel bag.
She knocked on Jax's door half an hour later and he opened it, smiling at her as she stepped inside. Abel glanced up from his spot on the floor, running to Jess and wrapping his little arms around her leg as he smiled up at her. She ran her fingers through his blond hair softly, smiling back at him before she turned back to look at Jax, kissing him softly.
"I wasn't sure if I was going to see you today," he said, "How'd it go with the designer?"
"Fine," Jess replied wearily, lifting Abel up and propping him on her hip. She turned back to look at Jax, "You-know-who called me to see when she could see Abel." Jax frowned, his hand cupped behind her head as he ran his fingers through her hair.
"You don't need to be worrying about that right now," Jax said, "I'll set something up with her later." Jess nodded.
"Okay," she replied, kissing him lightly, "I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to head to bed." Jax nodded, obviously struggling to keep a frown off his face.
"You sure?" he asked, "I was just about to put Abel to bed." Jess nodded.
"Yeah, it's been a long day," she said.
"Okay," Jax said, disappointment in his voice, as Jess handed Abel over to him, kissing Abel lightly on the cheek before walking back to the bedroom.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess was still struggling to fall asleep by the time Jax crawled into bed next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled closer to him. That was the only place she'd felt safe in months but it was still long after his breathing steadied that she finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
She woke the next morning to her phone ringing and turned to see Jax still lying beside her, fast asleep. She groaned, throwing her arm out to reach for her phone and finally grabbed it, glancing at the caller ID to see Lux's name on the display. She flipped the phone open, pressing it against her ear.
"Hullo?" she said sleepily.
"Hey, sorry for calling so early," Lux said, "I just wanted to tell you, I asked around about Ima and Lyla for you and one of the girls heard they were working at Diosa International now."
"What's that?" Jess said, her words coming out mumbled from her sleepiness.
"Well it's supposed to be like a uh… I dunno, a massage place or something," Lux said, "But word around is it's an escort service." Jess rubbed her hand over her face wearily, finally sitting up.
"You're telling me Ima and Lyla are getting pimped out?" Jess asked.
"Apparently," Lux responded, "Pimp's name is Nero Padilla. Diosa's out on the Morada border, off 8 mile."
"Jesus Christ," Jess muttered, "Okay. Looks like I'll be having a chat with a pimp today."
"Oh lord," Lux said, "Do me a favor - bring Jax or one of the guys with you. I don't know anything about this guy."
"Yeah, I will," Jess promised.
"Okay, well I'll let you go back to sleep. Let me know how it goes at Diosa," Lux said. Jess flipped her phone shut, lying back down at the bed as she stared up at the ceiling. She was getting Ima and Lyla out of that "escort service" if it was the last thing she did.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jax reluctantly agreed to take Jess to Diosa that afternoon. He didn't like the idea of Jess confronting some pimp he didn't know, but she was insistent and he knew how much she needed Ima and Lyla back at Cara Cara. It wasn't a far drive; Morada was less than 10 minutes from Charming and in no time Jax was pulling into Diosa's parking lot, Jess's arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
They hopped off the bike and walked through the front doors inside. A Hispanic woman who looked to be in her mid-40s glanced up at them from behind the reception desk as they walked up. She frowned, looking between Jax and Jess. Jess turned to look at Jax.
"Please let me do this," she said, "Just… be my bodyguard today." Jax grinned, nodding.
"Sure thing," he said. He held back as Jess approached the reception desk, smiling at the woman.
"Yes?" she asked.
"I'm looking for Ima and Lyla," Jess told the woman.
"And you are?" the woman asked, the tone of her voice clearly indicating that she had no intention of helping Jess out.
"I'm Jess Tyler and I want to talk to Ima and Lyla," Jess responded firmly. The woman continued to stare back at her.
"I don't know any Ima or Lyla," she finally replied, turning back to some paperwork in front of her.
"I know they're here!" Jess said, her voice rising in anger, "And I want to talk to them right. fucking. NOW!"
As she shouted, a man walked out from the hallway behind the reception desk, looking quizzically at Jess. Jess's eyes turned to look at him, widening slightly. He was tall, dark-skinned and about 50 years old, but he was well built and Jess had no qualms in thinking that he could hurt her if he wanted to.
"What's the problem?" he asked. Jess braced herself, turning to look at the man as she put her brave face on.
"I'm looking for Ima and Lyla," Jess repeated.
"I'm guessing you don't want to make an appointment," the man said, his lips turned in a small grin.
"Um… no," Jess replied, "I just want to talk to them." The man nodded, looking at Jess thoughtfully, his eyes briefly flicking to Jax who was still standing by the door.
"So you must be the Cara Cara girl," he said, turning his eyes back to Jess. Jess wasn't able to hide the surprise on her face that he knew who she was, but she wiped it away quickly as she nodded.
"Yeah, I am the Cara Cara girl," Jess said, "And you must be Nero." He nodded in affirmation.
"That's me," he said.
"Well, Nero, if you try to stop my girls from coming back and force them to stay in your little whore house, we're going to have a problem," Jess said, trying to sound menacing but worried it was just coming off as ridiculous. It made Nero laugh, at least, as he held his hands up in surrender.
"Whoa, chica," he said, still chuckling at her, "It's not like that. I don't force anyone to do anything."
"Yeah… well…" Jess replied. That statement didn't align with anything she knew about pimps and she wasn't willing to take his word for it, "I'd like to hear it from them."
"You can't talk to him like that," the woman behind the receptionist desk said, standing up with her arms crossed across her chest.
"Chill, Carla," Nero said easily, waving her down, "We're just talking business owner to business owner." Carla glared at him, pursing her lips, but finally took her seat again. Nero turned back to Jess.
"I got no problem with you talking to them," Nero said, "They're down in room 7."
"They're together?" Jess asked. Nero nodded.
"Yeah, they're kind of a… double act, if you get my drift," he said. Jess grimaced, shaking her head as she glanced back at Jax.
"I'll be right back," she said and Jax nodded as Jess turned to walk down the hall, knocking on the door to room 7.
Lyla opened the door, her eyebrows raised in surprise to see Jess standing there. She glanced behind her briefly before turning back to Jess, stepping back to let Jess in. She walked into the large room to see Ima lounging on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV. She glanced up when Jess walked in, looking as surprised as Lyla to see her there.
"Hey, Jess," Ima said, standing up to walk over to them.
"Hey guys, long time," Jess replied. They both nodded, looking back at her expectantly.
"Cara Cara is going to be reopening soon," Jess started, thinking it was best to skip the small talk and get straight to it, "I want you to come back." Ima and Lyla exchanged glances before turning back to look at Jess.
"We'll only come back if we can still work here, too," Lyla replied as Ima nodded next to her. Jess frowned, looking between them. Were they too scared to tell Nero they didn't have to work for him anymore?
"I'm not sure if that'll work…" Jess said slowly.
"Then we're not coming back," Ima replied easily.
"You have to come back!" Jess said, a pleading note in her voice, "You were my best girls."
"Well… we're Nero's girls now," Ima said.
"Is he forcing you to stay here?" Jess asked, "Has he threatened you? Because I can get you help and get you out of here. You don't have to stay here." Ima and Lyla grinned, both shaking their heads.
"No, it's not like that," Lyla said, "We like it here. Nero's great, he treats us great, takes good care of us. And the money is way too good to pass up." Jess frowned. What kind of pimp was Nero? She'd never heard of one whose pros would say he's a great guy.
"Really?" Jess finally asked, "You're sure you want to stay here?" They both nodded and Jess sighed.
"Okay, then I'll see what I can work out with Nero. I really need you guys at the club," Jess said. They nodded again as Jess turned to walk out the door, closing it behind her. She paused beside the closed door, shaking her head. She had envisioned this talk going much differently. She'd thought they'd jump at the chance to get back to Cara Cara if it meant they didn't have to whore themselves out anymore for some pimp who took 90% of their earnings. Apparently that wasn't the way it worked at Diosa, but Jess couldn't wrap her head around it. She finally walked back into the main room to see Nero and Jax deep in conversation by the door. They both looked up as she walked out and Nero smiled at her, walking back over to her.
"See, it's all good, right?" Nero asked. Jess nodded her head.
"I guess so," she said, "I need to talk to you. Ima and Lyla were my top earners at Cara Cara and they were responsible for a lot of our business. I need them back, but they'll only come back if you and I can work something out so they can continue working here as well." Nero nodded, shrugging.
"I don't have a problem with that," he said, "We usually make appointments at least a week ahead of time, so just let me know their schedule and I'll work around it. I know they've got a few standing appointments every week so I'll check the schedule and let you know when those are. Oh, and I'll need them at least one day a week for walk ins or …emergencies." Jess raised her eyebrows and Nero shrugged.
"Hey, it happens," he said and Jess attempted to refrain from rolling her eyes.
"Okay, I can handle that," Jess said. Nero walked over to the receptionist desk, grabbing a card from a stack on the counter and handed it to Jess.
"There's my number," he said, "Just call with their schedule." Jess nodded, sticking the card in her pocket.
"You're a very laid back pimp," Jess commented, looking back at Nero. He grinned.
"I prefer the term companionator," he said. Jess chuckled, shaking her head.
"Okay, well, you'll be hearing from me," she said. He nodded as she turned back around, walking back to Jax as they walked back outside to Jax's bike.
"Well that was interesting," Jess commented as she buckled her helmet on. Jax nodded.
"He seems like a cool guy," he said. Jess nodded. He did seem like a cool guy. Color her surprised.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
The grand opening of Cara Cara was looming ever nearer and Jess's stress level had never been so high. Construction was completely finished, but there was still so much to do with decorating, ordering supplies and alcohol, and getting everyone on the pay roll. Opening a second bar upstairs had seemed like a good idea at the time, but it was now going to be impossible to pull off for the opening, so Jess was leaving the space empty for now.
She still had no idea how to run a business. The management training from Luann had been helpful, but now with the thought of trying to run the whole club by herself without Luann there to guide her made her ill. She'd sought advice from Gemma, who'd been practically single-handedly running Teller-Morrow for decades, but there were only so many things an auto-shop and a strip club had in common. There were so many details that Jess didn't even know about, and she constantly worried that she was going to run the club into the ground before she even had a chance to learn them.
She'd spent the entire day ordering the furniture delivery men around and as she pulled up to Jax's all she wanted was to take a quick shower and go to bed. That had been the routine lately. She knocked quietly on the door and it took Jax several moments to open it. She walked in and he smiled at her, kissing her lightly.
"Hey," he said, "How'd it go today?" Jess sighed, shaking her head.
"Fine, I guess," she said, "I just want to take a shower and go to bed." Jax nodded, looking away from her. Jess could tell he was holding back saying something to her.
"What?" Jess asked. Jax shrugged.
"Nothing," he said, "It just seems that's all you do now. We spend every night together and I feel like I haven't seen you in months." Jess sighed, looking up at the ceiling.
"I've been really busy," she reminded him. Jax nodded.
"Yeah, I know," he said, "But you don't have to be. There's plenty of people around that have been offering to help, me included. You need some time to just relax." Jess stared back at him, knowing he was right. She'd declined help from anyone who'd offered, which was just about everyone in the club, including Gemma and Lux.
"I can't relax," Jess finally said. Jax wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"Yeah, you can," he said, "You don't have to be running yourself ragged. Learn to delegate, take a day off." Jess shook her head.
"No, I mean… it's literally impossible for me to relax," she said, sighing. She shook her head, feeling tears forming and wanting to stop them before they became uncontrollable. Jax's brow furrowed in worry as he looked down at her, stroking her back softly.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Jess finally looked up at him, her eyes wide.
"I mean every time I stop… every time my mind isn't 100 percent focused on something else, it goes straight back to Zobelle," she said, "I can't relax because every time I try, all I can think about is that day." Jax frowned, pulling her closer to him as he wrapped his arms completely around her.
"He can't hurt you ever again," he said quietly, "Why didn't you tell me you were feeling like that?" Jess shook her head as a single tear finally made its way down her cheek.
"I didn't want you feeling guilty," she said, "I know you blame yourself for what happened, and I didn't want to add anything to that." Jax sighed, pulling back slightly so he could look down at her face. He cupped the side of her head in his palm, his fingers trailing through her hair.
"I don't want you to hide stuff like this from me," he said, "No matter how you think it might make me feel."
Jess nodded as more tears poured down her face and she started sobbing into his shoulder, letting out all of the tears she'd been holding back. Crying over that day with Zobelle, Miles' death, the ache she still felt over the loss of Luann. Crying over the fact that she had felt closer to death that day than she had even when she'd been shot. Crying at the irony that she was finally surrounded by people she loved and that staying near them meant her life was constantly threatened. Crying because she hadn't been sure if it would ever end and now that Zobelle was dead, she was always afraid that a new enemy would surface.
Jess wasn't sure how long she'd stayed in Jax's arms, sobbing inconsolably, but after a while her tears began to lighten and she began to calm. And by the time she had cried as much as she possible could, she realized she had no more tears left for what happened to her at that warehouse. It was over. She looked up at Jax, giving him a small smile through her puffy, red eyes and her blotchy cheeks.
"Feel better?" Jax asked, his face still lined with worry as he looked down at her. She nodded.
"Much better," she said and he smiled back at her, leaning down to kiss her. He could taste the tears on her lips and he kissed her until every last one was gone.