Jess curled closer to Jax, still half asleep as he instinctively tightened his grip around her. She smiled, her eyes fluttering open after the first peaceful sleep she'd had since she'd been shot in her apartment all those months ago. She rested her head on his chest, one arm thrown around him, and would have liked nothing more than to stay in bed with him all day. She was finally coming to terms with what she'd been through and knew she would come out the other side okay. She would not let Zobelle ruin the good things in her life, no matter how hard he had tried. He was dead now and he couldn't hurt her anymore.
Jax slowly woke up, groggy from the late night, and smiled down at her, running his fingertips up and down her arm.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. She smiled, propping herself up to look at him.
"Much better," she said, leaning forward to kiss him lightly.
"Glad to hear it. I need you to know that you can always talk to me," he said, his expression becoming more serious, "About anything." Jess nodded.
"I do," she said, "And I will."
"Good," Jax responded, "So what's on your agenda for the day?" Jess sighed, laying her head back down.
"I just want to stay here with you all day," she groaned, "Who needs responsibilities?" Jax chuckled.
"Don't I know it," he said.
"I have an appointment with Nero at 1 to go over Ima and Lyla's schedules for the next couple of weeks before I go to Cara Cara," Jess said.
"You want me to go with?" Jax asked.
"Nah, Nero's okay," she said. They'd spoken on the phone a couple of times, trying to make arrangements for things, until they both decided it would be easier to do it in person. Jess had been surprised at how much she liked Nero, and was grateful that it seemed like this arrangement was going to work out.
"Okay," Jax said, "But you let me know if you need anything."
"I will," Jess promised, looking into Jax's worried eyes. She realized that she'd broken some trust with Jax when she had refused to confide in him, and it would take some time to earn that back.
"I need to go talk to Lux at some point today, too," Jess said, sighing, "You're not the only one I've been distant from ever since…" her voice trailed off. Jax nodded.
"Lux'll be alright," he said, "One of her best qualities - she's slow to grudges and quick to forgive." Jess nodded, but she was still nervous about talking to her. She hated the idea of hurting Lux, especially after everything Lux had risked to save her life.
"I don't have to be at TM until noon," Jax said, interrupting her thoughts, "You wanna go get breakfast or something?" Jess shook her head.
"I want to stay here with you like this until we absolutely have to go," she said, wrapping her arm tighter around him.
"Just like this?" Jax asked, smiling mischievously as he grabbed her around the waist and flipped her on her back, resting on top of her, "Or maybe like this?" Jess laughed as Jax began kissing down her neck lightly, his hand working it's way up her shirt.
"Like this is good, too," she said breathlessly, sucking in her breath as his lips moved up her neck to her ear, "Very good." Jax chuckled softly, moving to kiss her lips and as they heated up, Jess's mind went blissfully blank.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess pulled into her parking spot at the apartment later that morning, relieved to see Lux's car in its usual spot and hoping that she was home and not at the clubhouse. It wasn't as if she hadn't spoken to or seen Lux at all - they worked together almost every day - but things had definitely been different and she knew Lux had noticed.
Jess walked up the steps to the apartment and could hear music blasting from inside. She unlocked the door with her key and slowly opened it to see Lux wearing a pair of tiny pajama shorts and a tank top and dancing around the kitchen to the music holding a mixing bowl. Jess grinned, standing in the doorway and watching her dance around in that carefree way she had before finally closing the door behind her. Lux looked up at the sound and grinned at Jess, setting the bowl down and walking over to the stereo to turn the music down.
"Hey!" she greeted her, "The prodigal roommate returns!" Jess just nodded and Lux's smile faded, sensing something was up.
"I was kidding," she said and Jess nodded.
"I know, I just…" Jess began, stopping to gather her thoughts, "I'm really sorry I haven't been around, Lux." Lux shrugged as she walked into the living room, motioning for Jess to follow her and they both took seats on the couch.
"It's cool," Lux said, "We all have our own ways of dealing with shit. Mine used to be diving headfirst into a pile of blow, so at least you're handling it better than that." Jess smiled at her, shaking her head.
"You always know just what to say," she said jokingly, and Lux grinned.
"It's my gift," she said.
"I missed you," Jess told her, and Lux's expression became more serious as she nodded.
"I missed you, too," she said, "What brought about this sudden change?" Jess shrugged.
"I just… I finally talked some things out with Jax last night, and cried for about a million hours. It was the first time I'd really let myself feel what had happened," Jess explained. She felt the tears return and looked at Lux, her eyes misting, "I owe you everything, Lux. I'd be dead if it weren't for you, and I didn't know how to handle that kind of debt." Lux shook her head.
"You don't owe me anything," she said. Jess tried to argue, but Lux held up a hand, "You tried to sacrifice yourself for me and Abel. You saved my brother from having to make an impossible decision. I think we're even." Jess smiled at her, leaning over to hug her tightly.
"Anyone ever tell you you're the best?" Jess asked, grinning at her as they pulled apart. Lux shrugged.
"Only all the time," she said, and Jess laughed.
"Yeah, I'm sure," she said sarcastically, glad that it felt like they were back to their old rhythm, "So… what were you doing in the kitchen when I walked in?"
"Oh, that was me trying to bake," Lux said, hopping off the couch and walking back into the kitchen. Jess followed, looking surprised.
"You? Bake?" Jess asked, "I didn't even know you knew how to turn on the oven."
"Oh, I don't," Lux assured her, "I was about to watch some YouTube videos to figure it out, but now that you're here, you can help." Jess laughed, walking over to the oven to set it.
"So why the sudden urge to bake?" she asked. Lux shrugged.
"Tig gets back from his run today and I'm trying to prove that I can be domestic because he doesn't believe me," she explained. Jess laughed.
"Does he want you to be domestic?" she asked. Lux shrugged.
"Not really, but it's the principle of the matter," she said stubbornly. Jess grinned.
"Then let's do it," she said.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess left the apartment about an hour later, cookies baked and cooling on the stove, to meet Nero at Diosa for their appointment. As she got closer and closer to Morada, she began to feel more nervous than she thought she'd be. She was a business owner now, representing Cara Cara, and she felt a need to impress Nero. Pimp or not, Nero ran a successful business and Jess knew there was a lot she could learn from him if this arrangement continued. She hated to admit it, but Cara Cara was struggling.
Her phone rang as she drove and she groaned when she saw the caller ID. Tara. It had been so long since Jess had made the promise to her that she would get to see Abel, but so much had happened since then that she hadn't tried very hard to come through on that promise. She'd broached the topic a couple of times with Jax, but he had always shut her down, telling her it wasn't the right time or they'd deal with it later. But now Tara wouldn't stop calling and Abel had been asking about his mommy. It was putting Jess in a rough position.
She momentarily debated letting the call go to voicemail, but just before it did she grabbed the phone and answered it.
"Hello?" she said.
"Hey, Jess," Tara said. Her voice was curt and agitated, and Jess winced.
"Hey, Tara. How's life in San Francisco treating you?" Jess asked, ignoring the irritation in Tara's voice and trying to avoid the conversation entirely with small talk. Tara had moved to San Francisco a few months back after getting a job at one of the top hospitals there. Seeing as how it was only a two hour drive it was even more ridiculous that she hadn't been able to see Abel.
"It's fine," Tara said, sighing, "You know why I'm calling. Have you talked to Jax?" Jess paused, trying to find the rights words before she answered the question.
"Yeah, I've talked to him," she said slowly, "Maybe you should talk to him. He just keeps saying he'll think about it."
"He won't answer my calls," Tara responded, sounding exasperated, "You promised, Jess. I need your help." Jess sighed. She had promised, but she shouldn't have. It wasn't a promise she had had any right in making, and it wasn't one she could keep. But she felt an enormous sense of guilt when it came to Tara. A part of her knew that if she hadn't ever been in the picture, Tara and Jax would still be together and Abel would still be part of Tara's life. Jess didn't like thinking of herself as a home-wrecker, but she thought if she could just get a visitation arrangement to work out, she'd stop feeling guilty.
"I know," was all Jess said, "I'll talk to him again."
"Thanks," Tara said, "I really miss him and if I can't see him… I'd hate to have to call the State to check up on him and his…living conditions." The threat did not get past Jess.
"I gotta go, Tara, I'm late for a meeting," Jess finally said, even though she was still at least 10 minutes away from Diosa, "But I'll let you know when Jax comes around." She hung up the phone, tossing it on the seat next to her and making a mental note to talk to Jax that night.
She pulled into Diosa a few minutes later and hopped out of the car before heading for the door. The first time she'd walked through that door, she'd been terrified. She'd expected Nero to be angry and prone to violence, possibly high. She'd expected the place to be dirty and full of drug users. It might still be illegal in the state of California, but the business Nero Padilla ran was as high class as an escort service could be.
She walked in to see Carla, the receptionist at Diosa, manning the phones. She looked up when Jess walked in and looked less than thrilled to see her there. The last time they'd met, Carla had not been the friendliest person and Jess often wondered why Nero kept her around, but it wasn't any of her business.
"I'm here to see Nero," Jess said as Carla scowled at her, "We have an appointment." Carla raised her eyebrows as if she didn't believe her, turning to check Nero's calendar. Her scowl seemed to deepen when she realized that Jess was telling the truth and she reluctantly picked up the phone to let Nero know Jess was there.
"Go on back," she said, pointing down the hall to Jess's right. Jess nodded, making her way down the hall Carla had indicated before arriving at Nero's office. She knocked lightly on the door and he hollered for her to come in.
"Hey, Jess," Nero said when she walked in, giving her a friendly smile and standing from behind his large desk to shake her hand, "How's business?"
"Exhausting," Jess replied honestly, returning the handshake before taking a seat on the other side of the desk, "To be honest, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing half the time."
"You'll pick it up," Nero said confidently, "You seem like a smart girl." Jess smiled at him.
"Thanks," she said, "I feel like that's a big compliment coming from you." Nero shrugged, settling back into his chair.
"I'm usually pretty good at reading people," he said.
"Well I hope you're right," Jess sighed, "Since the re-open we haven't been turning the same profits Cara Cara did when Luann was running the place. Which is why I've gotta make sure I can get Lyla and Ima back - they were our biggest draw." Nero nodded, opened a book that was lying in front of him and turning it around so she could see it.
"These are Ima and Lyla's regular appointments. Some are weekly, some are monthly," Nero said, indicating which was which. Jess reached into her bag and pulled out her planner, jotting down the appointment dates and times. She was glad to see they didn't have any regulars on Saturday nights, but they did have a monthly appointment every Friday at 5:00. She'd have to work around that one, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem.
"Okay," Jess said, "And you said you'd need them once a week for walk ins?" Nero nodded.
"It doesn't matter what day. We usually have the girls on a rotation, but we can work that around their schedule at Cara Cara," he said, "Just let me know what day you can spare them." Jess nodded, jotting down a few more notes in her planner.
"You know, I've been meaning to ask you," Nero said, leaning back in his chair as he gazed across his desk at Jess, "How a girl like you wound up involved with the Sons and running a place like Cara Cara." Jess smiled.
"That is a really long story," she said, "But the short version is my dad is a Son and his wife was the owner of Cara Cara - Luann. She left me the place when she… died." It was still hard for Jess to say those words, though she figured she was showing progress just being able to say them out loud. Nero nodded thoughtfully.
"Well, I'm sorry for your loss," he said. Jess nodded, giving Nero a small smile.
"Thanks," she said, looking back at Nero, "So what about you? How did you become 'Nero the pimp'?"
"Companionator," Nero corrected with a smile, "Nah, this is all just a temporary thing. Doing this just long enough to get out of here. I got this dream, you know, of buying a farm or something, taking my son and just…living." Jess smiled.
"That sounds nice," she said sincerely. Nero shrugged.
"My boy's got this spinal condition. Bound to a wheel chair. I want to give him a nice life, you know?" he said.
"You sound like a really great dad," Jess said, thinking of the 26 years she'd spent without a father, "He's lucky to have you." Nero smiled at the compliment.
"Yeah, well…" he said, his voice trailing off. There didn't seem to be anything left to say. Jess closed the planner in front of her, rising from her chair.
"Well, I guess that's everything we need to go over," she said. Nero nodded, standing up to shake her hand again.
"Thanks for coming down," he said, "Maybe this arrangement will end up benefitting the both of us." Jess nodded. She'd never thought about the free advertising Cara Cara was giving to Diosa now that Ima and Lyla would be dancing there again. She was willing to bet they'd end up racking up a lot more clients. She was hopeful that the reverse would work out, as well.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess had driven straight to Cara Cara from Diosa, but had been determined to leave work before the usual 3 AM, which is why she found herself actually clocking out well before midnight. For the first time in a long time, she couldn't wait to get off work and actually spend time with Jax.
She drove straight to the clubhouse where she knew he'd be. As she pulled into the lot, she tried to remember the last time she'd spent much time here, but it had been a while. The thought made her sad. She'd been so used to having to deal with her problems on her own her entire life, that she hadn't been able to take advantage of the new family she now had. She would not make the same mistake again.
She walked into the clubhouse, smiling at the sight in front of her. Rat and V-Lin were behind the bar, handing out beers to Gemma, Clay and Bobby. Juice and Phil were currently being entertained by several crow eaters on the couch while Tig, Lux, Opie and Jax were playing a game of pool. This was her home. She had forgotten that, and to have the feeling back was indescribable.
Gemma spotted her from the bar and grabbed a beer, walking over to her and handing it to her.
"Glad to see you back, baby," she said, cupping Jess's chin in her hand and smiling at her.
"Thanks, Gem," she said. It was then that Jax noticed she was there and he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the cheek.
"Sorry, Ma, I'm stealing this one away," he said, not taking his eyes off Jess. She smiled at him, her heart racing. She thought back to the first week they'd gotten back together, after Tara had left, after she'd gotten Abel back, before Zobelle had sought to destroy everything good in her life. She'd wanted that feeling back for so long, and here it was. She deserved this. She deserved to be happy. She wouldn't let anything take that away from her again.
She wrapped her arm around Jax's waist as he steered her away from Gemma, his arm slung around her shoulder. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her, kissing her again as they walked to the pool table.
"You're up," Opie said, handing Jax his cue stick. He reluctantly took his arm off of Jess and stepped up to take his turn.
"Hey, Jess," Opie said, smiling at her, "Glad you're back." Jess smiled back at him.
"Me, too," she said. Lux bounced up to her, slipping her arm through Jess's.
"We have so much catching up to do," she said, beaming at her friend, "Tig's been doing this new thing where he-"
"Not here, Lux!" Jax shouted at her, taking his shot. He sunk a ball and walked around the table to take his next shot. Jess watched him lean over the table, tilting her head.
"Okay, well if I can't talk about my love life while you're here, Jess can't stare at your ass while I'm here," Lux said jokingly.
"No deal," Jess said, laughing and causing Jax to miss his shot. He stood, leaning his cue stick against the table before walking over to Jess, pulling her close to him, his arms wrapped around her.
"You were staring at my ass?" he asked, grinning.
"Every chance I get," she said. He kissed her lightly on the lips.
"What do you say we get outta here?" he whispered in her ear and she felt a tingle run through her body.
"Thought you'd never ask," she said.
Author's Note - Well here it is. New Start is OFFICIALLY off hiatus! :) I am so excited to finally be writing New Start again and I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter! Our plan is once again to post every Sunday, so expect the next chapter then. Please, please review and let us know what you thought, good or bad. Reviews motivate us to write more and it is the highlight of our day to see what you thought! THANKS FOR READING!