Jess sat at her desk in her office at Cara Cara, resting her head in one hand while the other thumbed through her financial reports of the last quarter. The last patron had come and gone long ago and it was way past time for Jess to go home, but she couldn't stop going through the reports. Try as she might, she could not get their expenses to match what they'd been when Luann had been running the place and it was running her into the ground. She finally leaned back in her chair, tossing her pen at the stack of papers in frustration.
"Problem, mamita?" Jess looked up to see Nero leaning against the doorframe. The one thing saving her sanity was that Nero had been more than happy to take her up on her offer to move Diosa to Cara Cara, which would at least hold her afloat. There was still a lot of work to be done before Diosa was up and running, but Rosen had drawn up the contracts in no time and it was now official. She gave him a small smile, shrugging.
"This whole running a business thing is hard," she said with a sigh, "I knew it would be, but I just can't figure out how Luann did it." Nero pursed his lips for a moment before pushing himself off the door frame and walking behind Jess, leaning down to look at the reports. He thumbed through a couple pages before he flipped the report shut and looked down at Jess.
"You know, I don't have much going on with Diosa until construction's finished and we get it up and running," he said, "In the meantime, I could help you out down here, go over the reports and see where the problem areas are." Jess felt the weight on her shoulders lifting slightly as she looked up at Nero, smiling.
"That would be amazing," she said. Nero smiled back at her, nodding.
"We can start tomorrow," he said, "Now get out of here. No one should work this hard when they got someone at home waiting for 'em." Jess grinned at him, remembering Luann saying something very similar to her when she'd first started managing Cara Cara.
"Come on, I'll walk you out," Nero said and Jess nodded, standing and grabbing her purse as they walked out of the club together.
Jess drove straight to Jax's house, wondering when that had become 'home' to her. It had happened so gradually, a few nights here and there, a week on then a week off, that she hadn't even realized when most of her stuff had somehow found its way to Jax's. She was still paying rent to Lux every month on the apartment and knew that her room there was always waiting for her, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd stayed the night there.
She walked in to the dark house, quietly closing and locking the door behind her in an attempt not to wake Abel. Jax was already in bed but he stirred when she walked into the bedroom, rolling over on his back and propping himself up on his elbows.
"Working hard?" he asked. Jess nodded.
"Sorry I'm late," she said, digging through a dresser drawer for a t-shirt to sleep in.
"C'mere," he said sleepily and she smiled, turning from the dresser to walk to his side of the bed. He grabbed her around the waist, flipping her onto the bed and kissed her.
"I missed you," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling up at him.
"I missed you, too," he said, his lips moving to her neck and his hands moving up her shirt. Her stress from the financial reports were all but forgotten.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jess sat across her desk from Nero, studying him as he poured over her reports. Every now and then, he'd jot a note down on the notepad beside him. His lips remained downturned the majority of the time and Jess sat anxiously, wondering if that was a frown because her finances were in such trouble, or if that was just how he looked when he was thinking. He sighed, sliding his glasses onto his head and rubbing his face before he finally looked up at her. Jess bit her lip nervously, her foot tapping on the floor.
"So?" she said, "Is it bad?" Nero shook his head.
"Nah, you'll be fine," he said. He turned his notes to face her, "Here's a list of some things I noticed. The ones with bullet points are areas you need to address immediately. The others are things we can figure out as we go along."
"We?" Jess said questioningly. Nero shrugged.
"Hey, I said I'd help you out," he replied. Jess beamed at him.
"Thank you so much," she said. Before he could reply, Jess's phone rang and she glanced down to see Rose's name flashing across the screen.
"I have to get this," she said, "My aunt." Nero nodded, rising from his chair.
"No problem. I need to go check on construction upstairs," Nero replied, "We'll talk about those bullet points later." Jess smiled gratefully at him, answering the call as Nero showed himself out of her office.
"Hey, Rose," Jess said, balancing the phone between her cheek and her shoulder as she took another glance at the list Nero had made for her.
"Hi, Jess," Rose replied, and there was something in her voice that made Jess set the notes down and pay closer attention to the call.
"Is everything okay?" Jess asked quickly. Rose sighed, and Jess knew immediately something was wrong.
"Yes… and no," Rose said, "It's just… Daisy is in town." Jess sat there for several minutes, stunned. Daisy. Her mother that had given her away at birth without even letting her father or Rose know about her existence.
It had been over 4 years since the last time Jess had seen Daisy, and after everything that had happened, she didn't know how she felt about the possibility of seeing her again. The last time she'd seen her, things had not gone well. Daisy had been high on heroin and it had disgusted Jess. She'd said a lot of things she later regretted, but now looking back, Daisy had earned every word. If she'd only told Otto about Jess, Jess might have had a family to grow up with. She would have had more time with Luann. Now that Jess knew everything, she wasn't sure she could ever forgive Daisy.
"Okay," Jess finally responded, "For how long?"
"I don't know," Rose replied wearily, "She's staying in my guest room for now, didn't say how long."
"How…how does she look?" Jess asked apprehensively, picturing the stringy, bottle blond hair and the hollowed eyes she remembered from the last time she'd seen Daisy.
"She looks…good, Jess," Rose said, "Seems like she's finally on a good path to recovery. She… she wants to see you." Jess paused, choosing her next words very carefully.
"I'm glad she's doing better," Jess said, "But I'm not sure yet if I want her in my life. At all."
"I know," Rose said, "And it's your choice. I told her there was a good chance you wouldn't want to see her, and that there were a lot of good reasons for that. So you just let me know if you change your mind. I won't ask you about it again." Jess smiled meekly into the phone receiver. Rose knew her so well; knew exactly what she'd need to hear.
"Thanks, Rose," she said, "And I'll think about it."
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Around 11, Jess decided to leave Cara Cara early and head to the clubhouse to see Jax. Nero had said he'd lock up for her and she knew she was leaving it in good hands, but it was a rare occasion that she got to leave before 3 am.
She pulled into the clubhouse parking lot, excited to relax and have a beer with Jax. She walked in to see Jax sitting at the bar talking to Bobby and Chibs while a crow eater stood behind the bar pouring beers. Jax caught her eye from across the room when she walked in and his smile widened when he saw her. She smiled back as she walked towards him and he immediately wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him.
"How'd you get off so early?" Jax asked, "I was starting to feel like you were having an affair with Cara Cara."
"Nero said he'd lock up for me," Jess said happily, taking the beer the crow eater handed to her and taking several large gulps, "I couldn't stay. I've got to hire an assistant manager. I can't keep pulling hours like this." Jax nodded.
"What about Lux?" Jax asked. Jess raised her eyebrows at him over the rim of her glass.
"What about Lux?" Jess repeated.
"You could ask her to do it," Jax said. Jess shrugged.
"I love Lux, you know I do. But…she's not exactly the most reliable person in the world," Jess reminded him. Jax shrugged.
"Yeah, well… maybe she needs a little more responsibility in her life," he replied, "I think she'd be up for it. She's not missing her shifts all the time anymore, right?" Jess shrugged, looking thoughtful. Now that she thought about it, since everything that had happened with Luann and then with Zobelle, Lux had practically become a model employee.
"I'm just saying, Luann took a chance on you," Jax said, "And look how that turned out." Jess grinned at him.
"You're right. I'll talk to her about it," she said. Jax nodded, looking slyly at her as he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the bar. Jess smiled when she realized they were headed out the side door, one of the places in the clubhouse that Jess would always consider "theirs."
They walked outside and Jax sat on top of the picnic table, motioning for Jess to join him, as he pulled a joint out of his pocket and held it up to her.
"Old times sake?" he said. Jess laughed and nodded, leaning her head against his shoulder. They each took a hit and Jess relished the numbness coursing through her, relaxing every inch of her body.
"Hey, so since you're so good at advice today, I've got something else for you," she said. Jax peered down at her in interest, taking another hit off the joint and exhaling slowly.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Rose called me today to tell me that my mo- that Daisy is back in town," Jess said, stopping herself from calling Daisy her mother. She had done nothing to earn that title, and even the weed couldn't relax her enough to forget that.
"Are you gonna see her?" Jax asked. Jess shrugged.
"I haven't decided," she said, "Rose said she looks like she's cleaned up, off the junk and all that. But I don't know…"
"You should see her," Jax said. Jess lifted her head from his shoulder and peered up at him, reaching for the joint in his hand and taking another hit before replying.
"Last time it didn't go so well," she admitted, "I just… I don't know if I want to let that back in my life. I've got a good thing going now, and all the family I could ever need or want."
"I'm just saying have dinner with her," Jax replied, "I'm not saying you need to let her back in your life unless you want to. But you're not gonna know if you want to unless you see her again."
"Aren't you a little too sexy to be this smart?" Jess asked, giggling. The weed was finally getting to her. Jax's eyes darkened and he grinned lazily, leaning down to kiss her. Jess melted into the kiss, closing her eyes softly and resting her arms on his shoulders, curling her fingers into his hair. When they finally pulled apart, she gazed up at him for several moments, taking the time to study the face of the man that she loved more than anybody in the world.
"Would you come with me?" she finally asked, "To dinner?" Jax nodded, reaching over and lifting her up. He pulled her on top of his lap so she was straddling him and he kissed her again.
"Of course," he murmured into her ear. Jess smiled happily and kissed him again.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jax pulled his bike up to the front of Rose's house a few days later, Jess gripping his waist tightly. She didn't want to get off, and she had to fight the urge to tell Jax to start the bike up again and go back to the clubhouse. The nerves in her belly were on fire and she wasn't so sure she'd survive the night.
After several moments too long, she finally released her arms from Jax's waist so he could step off the bike before she swung her legs around and stood facing the house. Jax slung an arm around her shoulder and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
"You ready?" he asked. Jess sighed and nodded, visions of her last run in with Daisy flashing through her mind. It had not been a pretty meeting, and it was something Jess didn't want to go through again.
"I guess," she finally murmured and Jax took her hand and lead her up the pathway to the door. They walked in to see Rose and Daisy talking on the couch in the living room. They both turned to see Jax and Jess walk in and Rose beamed at her, rising to greet them. Daisy rose nervously, looking anxiously between Jax and Jess and clearly taking in the cut Jax wore.
After Rose had hugged both Jax and Jess, Jess finally looked at Daisy, taking her all in. Rose had been right - Daisy did look good. Gone were the red rimmed eyes, the hollow cheeks, the stringy hair. Her face looked fuller, her eyes brighter. Jess could finally see a little bit of herself in Daisy.
"Hi," Jess finally said, breaking the awkward silence. Daisy's nervous smile grew a little wider and she took a step closer, glancing curiously at Jax, "Oh, right. Um, Daisy, this is my boyfriend, Jax Teller." Daisy's eyebrows rose at the name but she stuck her hand out politely and Jax shook it.
"I knew you when you were a boy," Daisy said, looking up at Jax, "Knew your mom and dad." Jax nodded.
"Yeah… I heard," Jax said, his tone of voice implying all of the things he had heard about Daisy. Daisy's cheeks heated and she looked back at Jess.
"I was a mess, Jess," she said, "I don't really know what to say here, except that I'm so sorry. For everything." Jess nodded, but there was lot more she knew she had to say to Daisy before she'd be able to forgive her.
"Is dinner ready?" Jess asked, turning to Rose without responding to Daisy. Rose nodded and they all walked into the kitchen to see a meatloaf and salad waiting on the table.
Rose and Daisy made small talk while Jax and Jess ate silently. Throughout the conversation, Jess picked up that Daisy had made it through rehab a couple months back and was looking for work in Modesto, but so far she'd just been able to pick up a few odd jobs here and there.
"But that's enough about me," Daisy said, turning to Jess, "I want to hear about you. I hear you're running Cara Cara now." Jess took a gulp of wine out of the glass in front of her before nodding.
"Yeah, the father I never knew because of you gave it to me after his wife, who became like a mother to me, died," Jess said, not even trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. But she knew if there was any chance of repairing what was broken between her and Daisy, it needed to be said. Daisy grimaced guiltily and nodded, but she didn't say anything so Jess continued.
"If you had told him about me, him and Luann would have taken me in," Jess said, "I could have had a family." Daisy nodded.
"I thought you did have a family, Jess," she replied, "I had no idea about the car wreck. Nobody got in touch with me to tell me you were back in foster."
"Well how could they?" Jess snapped back, "When you were blowing your rent money on crack? And that doesn't explain why you never told Otto about me." Daisy sighed and nodded.
"Otto wasn't exactly the most stand up guy back then," Daisy tried to explain, "I was scared of what he'd make me do." Jess frowned, looking down at the plate in front of her.
"What? Like get rid of me?" she asked.
"Yeah," Daisy said, the word coming out breathless, "Like get rid of you. Him and Luann were going pretty strong at the time and I thought… I thought if she knew he'd knocked someone up there was a chance she'd… get upset. Which would make Otto upset. And he wasn't somebody you wanted to piss off. Still isn't."
"You were wrong," Jess said quietly. Daisy shrugged.
" Maybe… but people change, Jess. It's been 27 years. Maybe now Luann was ready to welcome you with open arms, but 27 years ago… I wasn't so sure. I did what I thought was the best thing for you. I made sure you were going to a good family who would give you a great life. I made sure you'd be okay," Daisy said pleadingly.
"Yeah, with no second thoughts, no checking in over the next 22 years," Jess retorted.
"That's not true," Daisy said, "I thought about you every day. But I had no way of getting in touch. It was a closed adoption." Jess sat there, absorbing everything that Daisy was saying and wondering if a word of it was true.
"So why are you back now?" Jax asked, voicing the question burning into Jess's mind. His tone was easy, but the implication was anything but.
"I wanted to see my sister," Daisy replied, just as easily, "And Jess, if she'd allow it."
"So it's not for the money then," Jess said, cutting through the bullshit and getting straight to the point.
"Jess!" Rose exclaimed as Daisy stared across the table at Jess, her expression going from startled to mildly offended before finally landing back at pacified.
"No, Jess," Daisy replied calmly, "I don't want anything from you. I just want to get to know you, that's all." Jess nodded, stirring the mashed potatoes around on her plate with her fork.
"It's just… interesting timing is all," Jess said, "I mean, you come back here after all this time, just months after Luann dies and I take over Cara Cara." Daisy shook her head.
"I didn't hear about any of that until I was already back here," she said, "But I understand that you don't trust me, and I haven't given you a lot of reason to. But I promise you Jess, if you give me a chance, I will earn your trust. I promise."
Jess sat back in her seat, glancing quickly at Jax before looking at Daisy. If she was honest, she wanted nothing more than to have a good relationship with Daisy. To have a mother who loved her like Gemma loved Jax - more than anything else in the world. It was what she'd always craved and what she'd had for a brief moment with Luann, but nobody else would ever truly be her mother except for Daisy.
"How long you in town for?" Jess asked. Daisy shrugged.
"I don't really have anything in Modesto waiting for me," she replied, "So… as long as Rose will have me, I guess." Rose smiled.
"You can stay as long as you like," she replied. Jess nodded.
"Okay, good," she said, "I'll… I'll think about it, then." Daisy smiled and nodded.
"That sounds good," she replied quietly.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
After dinner, Jax had church and Jess was happy about the excuse to leave early. The next half hour after Jess's confrontation had been awkward, to say the least, and Jess needed some space to clear her head and think about everything that had been said. But she wanted to do no more thinking about Daisy that night. She decided to go to the clubhouse with Jax and get in some time with Lux, which had been a rarity lately.
They walked into the clubhouse and Jax walked towards the group of Sons congregated outside the doors to the chapel while Jess looked around for Lux, spotting her furiously throwing darts at what looked to be a picture of Tig taped over the bulls eye. Jess raised an eyebrow at the scene and watched as Lux turned to glare at Tig from across the room, who rolled his eyes at her before following Jax into the chapel. As the doors closed behind the last Son, Jess walked up to Lux.
"Trouble in paradise?" she asked tentatively as Lux threw another dart, this one hitting Tig square in the forehead.
"I hate him so much right now," Lux spat the words out, her cheeks beet red and her eyes narrowed. She walked to the board to pull the darts out and start again and Jess pulled a stool up to sit.
"What happened?" Jess asked. Lux shook her head, throwing the darts again.
"You're not gonna have much of a picture left when you're through with it," Jess said, trying to make a joke but knew it fell flat as soon as she heard it. She didn't know what to say. She'd seen fights between Tig and Lux before, but not in a long time and not like this. Lux continued to throw the darts until she was out and she glanced at Jess, taking a seat on the stool next to her.
"He said I'd make a terrible mom," Lux said. Jess raised her eyebrows in surprise. Of all the possible scenarios that had run through her mind, that had been nowhere near them.
"Okay…" Jess replied, and Lux sighed.
"I don't know, I made some joke about a little Tiggy running around and he said he didn't want any more kids, and I said what if I wanted them, and he told me I didn't. And then he laughed. Like the idea of me having kids is so hilarious," Lux said, and she looked so miserable that Jess couldn't get a hold on what was happening.
"Do you… I didn't know you wanted kids," Jess said. Lux shrugged.
"I didn't," she said, "But that's not the point." Jess nodded, still not understanding what the point actually was. If Lux didn't want kids, which had been her stance since Jess had known her, what did she care if Tig didn't think she'd be a good mom? It wasn't like Lux to get offended to easily. So Jess said the only thing she could think of to make Lux feel better.
"He's an asshole," she stated, and Lux brightened slightly. The corners of her mouth turned up, at least. Jess hopped off her barstool.
"I'm gonna get a beer, you want one?" Jess asked. Lux looked stricken for a moment and Jess glanced at the table to see the piece of the puzzle she had completely missed during this whole episode: the half-empty glass of water.
"Oh my God," Jess whispered, looking back and forth from the glass to Lux, who looked horrified, shaking her head.
"No," Lux said firmly, "Stop it."
"Oh my God, Lux," Jess repeated, "Are you-" She glanced around the room to see the closest person to her was the prospect sitting behind the bar on the other side of the room. She lowered her voice anyway, "Are you pregnant?" A tear ran down Lux's cheek as she nodded before furiously wiping the tear away.
"Not for long," she said drily, and Jess frowned.
"Is that what you want?" Jess asked. Lux shrugged.
"I don't know, but it's obviously what he wants," she replied, nodding her head to the closed doors of the chapel.
"Does he even know? Or was that whole conversation hypothetical to him?" Jess asked. Lux shook her head.
"No, he doesn't know," she said, "But he made his opinion about it very clear."
"Yeah, when it was all what-ifs. He might react differently if he knew," Jess said, "You have to tell him before you do anything about it."
"I don't have to do anything," Lux said huffily, but Jess could tell Lux knew she was right. She sighed, grabbing the glass of water and taking a sip, sneering at the glass.
"It's only been a day and already I miss beer," she said, "How would I last 9 months?" Jess grinned, walking over to give her best friend a hug.
"Whatever you decide, I'm here for you," she said, "Whatever you need. But you have to talk to Tig." Lux nodded, her face buried in Jess's shoulder.
"Okay," she mumbled.
AN - Just want to say a big thank you to all our readers and everyone who took the time to review! I really hope you liked this chapter and please please let us know what you thought! Reviews are our biggest source of inspiration!