AN: this is based off a comic by tumblr user watermelon-chan, written with their permission/help in brainstorming. ffn wont let me link it, but there's a link on the ao3 version of this fic.
ill try to include tw in this on each individual chapter, but as a general overarching thing: tw for dark/destructive/kinda suicidal self talk. ace is a sad guy
tw in this chapter for almost drowning and canon character (fake)death
"The fishing boat got shot at!"
Ace's body hits the water before Dogra even has a chance to shout for Sabo, while everyone else is too in shock to notice him. He's used to moving fast, to swimming fast, but not like this. He never expected to have to save Sabo.
"Is the kid okay?!"
Ace barely hears anyone yelling from the shore, the blood pounding in his ears as he desperately pulls himself through the water. Luffy'd suggested they go after Sabo before, but he'd been too angry to agree, even if he'd wanted to. He can't fail Sabo again.
"The kid must have angered the Celestial Dragon!"
The boat is so far out, and Ace can see even through the rocky water that it's on fire. He can see Sabo on deck, trying to put out the fire with his jacket. It isn't working.
"If he hoisted a pirate flag, that makes him a pirate."
Ace doesn't know what he'll do when he catches up to the ship. He jumped in without even thinking about it. Could he pull himself up? Maybe they can put out the fire and sail back around to Dadan.
"Besides…"
The three of them could repair it, just like they built the tree house. Maybe they don't need to save up money for a ship anymore. They could sail until they can afford their own ships. Or they could just stay together. He doesn't need his own huge crew. Only a family. Only his family.
"How dare that lowly peasant cross my ship's path!"
Ace never sees the second shot. By the time he registers the sound of a gun, it's too late. The ship in front of him explodes, and the impact churns the ocean around him. The force of the blast sends wooden shrapnel across the water. Something cuts deep into his left shoulder. Ace doesn't even look before pulling it loose. It'll impede his swimming. He can't afford to slow down, not now, not when Sabo is somewhere in the water so damn far ahead of him.
How can he face Luffy if he lets Sabo drown here?
Even though he pours in all his strength, Ace is only so capable. His swimming is usually to catch a little brother ten feet in front of him in a river. Sabo is… Ace doesn't even know how far. Is he getting farther? Are the waves pushing Ace away? Was the ocean always so vast?
Closing the distance takes what feels like hours. Ace's entire body aches. His injuries from the fire and from fighting Porchemy slow him down. His body was littered with cuts and bruises even before he hit the water. Now, his limbs feel as though they're filling up through every wound. He's too slow, Ace knows he's too slow. If Sabo was in the center of that blast, there's no way he stayed conscious. If he sunk…
Maybe he didn't sink. Maybe he's conscious. Maybe he's holding onto a patch of wood, treading water. There's too much wood and smoke to see the whole mess clearly, too much fire to get close. But Ace can deal with fire.
Ace pulls his body into the water at the center of what was once the ship. Pieces of it float around, and Ace frantically scans each one for signs of Sabo. No one in what was once the cabin, no one on what was once the deck, no one hanging on what was once the railing, no one-
A familiar blue fabric floats on the water and Ace grabs it, but it's just an empty coat. Sabo isn't here. Is there any other debris big enough for Sabo to hang onto? The mast, the hull, the anything? No, Ace saw him on deck, he must have fallen into the water. If Ace dives deep enough, maybe…
Pushing through the half-submerged driftwood that held his brother moments ago, Ace dives under. Smoke and salt try to force his eyes closed, but he needs to find Sabo.
But Ace is only so capable.
His enemy is the ocean itself, and no one is stronger than the ocean. He surfaces long enough to gasp, taking smoke and oxygen into his lungs in equal parts, and dives back down. This time he surfaces even sooner. Even his uninjured arm throbs with the effort of fighting to find his brother in the water. This bay has to be deep, how far could Sabo have sunk? Could he be at the bottom already?
Ace dives again, but his lungs are more smoke than air by this point in the center of the explosion. He tries to push upwards again, but he's impatient. He doesn't even reach the air, taking an overeager inhale and sucking in salt water. Coughing, Ace surfaces properly. Where is Sabo?
Even the ocean around Ace is burning. Could this really be happening? They've been in much more dangerous scrapes together than this. Sabo was fine! Ace saw him. He was just holding that damn coat a few minutes ago! Where is he?!
The giant wakes of the Celestial ship finally make their way to the wreckage. Ace grabs onto the nearest piece of wood big enough and unburnt enough to support him. He's going to die if he stays here. He can't last much longer in this water, and if he can't, then Sabo has probably already… God, what the hell is he supposed to tell Luffy?
Ace drops the driftwood and dives again. Legs, arms, lungs, chest, eyes… Though he's in the water, every part of his body burns. He drops as deep as his body can handle and uses the last few seconds of oxygen to pull himself up, coughing and cursing and sniffling at the surface. He wipes the salt from his eyes with wet hands and dives again. Where is Sabo? He can't just be gone! Can't Ace at least find a body?! Even a piece of something to bury would be better than this diving and diving and diving and nothing.
"Ace!" Ace barely even hears Dogra's voice the first time, almost dropping under the water again. He looks out from the wreckage to see the man on a small boat, clearly… borrowed from someone too distracted by the Celestial Dragons to notice.
It takes until now for Ace to notice the people are gone from the shore. How long has he been in the water? How long has Sabo?
"Ace, you're going to drown if you keep at that!" Dogra says. He can't get too close with his boat, but somehow the distance is more insurmountable to Ace than swimming all the way out here was. Maybe he knows getting on that boat means admitting he won't find Sabo alive. Defeat here means Sabo is really, truly dead.
Ace drops under the water again. Nothing, of course he finds nothing! He doesn't want to come up, not if it means he has to leave Sabo here. He can't turn tail and run away now! What kind of brother would he be if he left? Sabo would never stop looking for him. Ace has to give his everything. He surfaces again. If he could hold his breath a little longer, dive a little deeper, if he could just-
"Ace! I'm not telling Luffy I watched both his brothers die today!" Dogra's voice cuts through. "No human being could have survived being underwater this long! He's gone, Ace!"
Ace sits up as if charged with electricity, throwing a blanket off himself. One moment Ace is in the water, reaching up for the surface. The deep of the water and the dark of the night have blurred completely, and with the fire out and the darkness eating at the edges of Ace's vision, it's hard to make out one blackness for another. The next moment he's on the floor of Dadan's place, wrapped in bandages.
How did he even get here? Ace puts a hand to the floor to get up, but his fingers land on paper rather than wood. When he looks down, Ace finds a letter with an unmistakable S in the corner. He tears the envelope open immediately-Is Sabo alright? Did they find him? Maybe he's here and he just didn't want to wake Ace. Maybe-
-Unfortunately for you two, by the time you get this letter, I'll already be at sea. A lot of stuff happened-
Ace considers dropping the letter entirely, but refrains. Sabo is actually gone? Sabo actually drowned in the ocean? Ace actually left Sabo to die?
Ace gets up, walking out of the house. Does Luffy know yet? Did someone tell him what happened to Sabo? Does Luffy know what Ace did? Ace has known his whole life that if he ever ran away from danger, he'd lose something he could never get back.
-We brothers should all become pirates one of these days! Then we can meet again somewhere out there-
Ace walks faster, into the forest. The letter is so goddamn hopeful. Ace feels he might as well have killed Sabo himself. So what Ace was injured? So what there was smoke? So what the stupid boat was so far out? Ace was there! Ace saw the whole thing happen! They'll never see Sabo again, and it's Ace's fault.
-Another thing, Ace-
His own name in Sabo's handwriting draws a gasp before he can stop it, and the air itself hurts more than any smoke or salt water. Rather than oxygen, his lungs fill with guilt. How dare he stand here by the ocean's edge, walking away from that nightmare unscathed, while Sabo sits somewhere in the mud below him?
-Are you the oldest brother or am I? It might be weird to have two oldest brothers and one little brother, but the bond we share is the greatest treasure I have. Luffy is still weak and a crybaby to boot, but he's still out little brother. Take care of him.
Ace crushes the letter in his hand. Sabo made fun of Luffy for being a crybaby, what would he say of Ace now?
Ace couldn't save Sabo. That's going to weigh on Ace's conscience for the rest of his life. Every breath he takes is stolen from Sabo's lungs, wherever he lies at the bottom of this far-too-vast sea. If he can do nothing else, Ace can at least take care of Sabo's last wish. Ace won't lose another brother. He doesn't need to be a pirate or sail the world. As long as he can protect Luffy, as long as he can stop something like this from happening again…
Maybe he can make up for what he's done to Sabo.
AN: the dialogue by the townsppl and celestial dragon in the first scene up until sabo is shot is taken from the actual manga (viz translation), as is sabo's letter (also viz translation)! figured id keep it accurate for as long as i could.
you might be wondering how ace got to be at sabo's execution. the answer is... its a mystery
and... may i recommend the song Give Me To The Waves by General Ghost? it's very fitting of post-marineford Luffy and, especially, this au/chapter Ace...
it's gonna be fun to play with an ace who gives up a very vital part of his personality (not running from anything) out of grief/self-loathing. at least, fun for me! maybe not for you
anyway, thank you for reading!