Jess walked into Jax's bedroom, tears streaming down her face as she looked at all her things that had been strewn around over the past few months. She hadn't realized it at the time, but she'd slowly been moving her stuff over to Jax's. This was her home.

Correction. This had been her home.

She knew any hope for her and Jax had been crushed the second she'd decided to take Abel to Tara, and as the thought entered her mind she felt it suffocate her. She gasped for breath, leaning against the wall as her tears poured down her cheeks until she thought she might drown in them.

It was several minutes before her tears finally dried up, as if she'd cried all she could for that day. She pushed herself off the wall, walking over to the closet to grab a suitcase. She started throwing her clothes and other items carelessly into the suitcase, her senses dull.

She knew now that there'd always been a voice telling her that if he found out, Jax would forgive her. But after seeing the way he looked at her…. She shuddered. She couldn't see him ever forgiving her, and the way he'd yelled at her, kicked her out just like that after everything she'd done for him and for his family… Now she wasn't so sure she could forgive him. He hadn't even given her a real chance to explain, he hadn't taken anything she'd said into consideration. He had shattered any trust she had ever had in him.

She had no idea where she would go. Lux hated Tara almost as much as Jax, and she was unlikely to forgive her anytime soon, either. That meant the apartment was out. She could go back to Rose's, but Daisy was sleeping in the guest room. She could crash in her office at Cara Cara, but then she'd have to see Lux at work and she couldn't face her yet. She couldn't face any of them. They would all hate her. She had saved all their fucking lives, had risked her own for them, had proved her loyalty to them with the most difficult test anyone could ever go through, and because she took Abel to see his mother, they would all hate her. It was such complete bullshit.

And on top of that, how had Jax found out? How had he known she'd be at the zoo with Tara? Why had he left TM to check up on her? The questions rattled away in her mind as she continued to wander aimlessly around the room, grabbing anything that was hers and throwing it in the suitcase.

When she was finally somewhat sure she'd gotten everything, she picked up her phone and dialed the one person left in her life that could help her.

"Yo," Nero's voice rang out as he answered the phone. Jess took a deep breath, hoping her voice didn't waver as she spoke.

"Hey, I have a favor to ask," she said.

"Anything for my favorite club owner," he replied, and Jess couldn't help but smile.

"I'm leaving town for a few days," she said, "I was hoping you could manage Cara Cara for me while I'm away? I'll pay you a full salary for the time."

"Sure, no problem," Nero said, and Jess felt a piece of the tension in her body lessen at his words. 'Thank God for Nero,' she thought.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Um, yeah, everything's fine. I just need to take care of some things," she said. She knew he'd know she was lying, but she also knew he wouldn't push it. And he didn't.

"Alright," he said, "When are you leaving?"

"Right now, actually," she said, a hint of regret in her voice, "If you need anything, send me an email at the Cara Cara address. I'm not going to have my phone on me."

"You wouldn't be running away now, little girl, would you?" Nero asked, his tone light hearted, but she could hear the worry in his voice.

"No, no," she assured him, "I'll be back. I just…"

"Need to take care of some things," Nero finished her sentence, repeating her lie.

"Right," she said.

"Alright, well have a good trip," Nero said, and Jess gave a half smile into the phone that Nero hadn't even asked her where she was going. He was exactly what she needed right then.

Jess packed her car and pulled out of the driveway. There was one place left that was still a home to her, even though she hadn't been there in months, and that was where she would go. She picked up her phone to make one last call before she shut it down.

"Hey, Rose," she said when the call had been picked up.

"Jess! How is everything?" Rose asked brightly.

"Um… fine," she replied, "I was just calling to let you know I'm… I'm going to be staying at Luanne's house for a few days." Rose was silent on the other end of the line for several moments.

"Okay," she finally said, obviously wondering why Jess was calling to tell her that. It's not as if Jess kept Rose regularly informed of where she was sleeping.

"It's just… some people might be looking for me and I didn't want you to be worried," she replied, "I'm turning my phone off after this call, and… please… you have to swear to me you won't tell anyone where I am. Anyone."

"Jess, what's wrong? What happened?" Rose asked, her voice filled with concern.

"Nothing, I'm fine. I just need to get away for a few days and I don't want anyone to know where I am," Jess replied.

"Not even Jax?" Rose asked, and Jess's heart filled with grief at the mention of his name.

"Especially not Jax," Jess replied quietly, her already broken heart crushing at her words.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Jax drove the truck home that night, Abel sleeping soundly in the car seat in the back. He had tried to stay angry. Anger was an emotion he was comfortable with. The heartbreak of Jess's betrayal was not. He didn't want to feel sadness or misery. He didn't want to think about how much he loved her, how he had thought she was forever. He just wanted to be pissed.

He pulled Abel from the car seat and his head immediately rested on Jax's shoulder, worn out from the day. Jax carried him inside and put him to bed before walking into his bedroom to see that Jess had done exactly what he'd asked. She was gone. He sat on the edge of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees as he gazed around the room, and the sadness he was trying so hard to keep at bay began to creep in.

He loved Jess. He loved her more than he'd ever loved a woman, and the thought of never touching her again, never holding her again, sent ripples of pain through his body. He wasn't sure how he'd ever recover from what she had done, but he knew he had to talk to her. Once his anger subsided, he'd have to. He needed to know why she'd done what she'd done, and he needed to know if what they had could be fixed. He didn't know what he'd do if it couldn't.

SOASOASOASOASOASOA

The next day, Jax swung by Gemma's house to drop Abel off on his way to TM. He wrapped his arms tightly around Abel as he said good bye, breathing in the smell of his kid as Abel's tiny arms tried to wrap themselves around Jax's shoulders.

"Is mommy coming back today?" Abel asked as they ended the hug, looking up at his father hopefully. A pang of guilt and sadness shot through Jax as he looked down at Abel, unsure what to say. He never wanted Tara to see Abel again. She had tried to take him away from Jax, and now she'd taken Jess away. The anger he felt towards her was unreconcilable, but he had to recognize the pain he was causing Abel, keeping him from her. For all intents and purposes, Tara was his mother. She was the only mother he'd ever had, and that meant that Tara was destined to stay in his life, for better or worse. He needed to step up and make sure it was for better.

"Not today, buddy," Jax finally responded, shooting a wary eye towards Gemma, who stood behind Abel, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Jax finally stood, giving Gemma a meaningful glance as he turned and walked out of the house.

He climbed into the truck and sat there in the driveway for several minutes, thoughts running through his head about what to do next. His cell phone beeped and he saw it was a text from Tara.

-You've left me no choice. I know Jess was hoping to avoid this, but I'm on my way to my lawyer's. See you in court.-

Jax closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to throw something. So Tara had been threatening to go to court, and Jess hadn't told him. The anger boiled up inside him again and he flipped his phone open, his hands shaking in anger. He took a deep breath as he dialed Jess's number, but the phone went straight to voicemail.

"Shit!" he yelled, banging his hand on the steering wheel. Now he had one more stop to make before TM.

Several minutes later, Jax walked into Cara Cara, looking around for any sign of Jess. When he didn't see her, he made his way to her office and was surprised to see Nero sitting behind her desk, flipping through a stack of papers. He glanced up when Jax walked in and smiled at him, standing to shake his hand.

"Hey, Jax," he said. Jax shook his hand, nodding in greeting.

"Hey, Nero. Jess got you working down here? When's Diosa gonna be up and running?" Jax asked.

"Not too much longer. Couple weeks or so. Construction's done, just trying to get the girls together again," he said, grinning. Jax nodded.

"That's good. Is Jess around?" he asked. Nero shook his head and Jax narrowed his eyes.

"Nah, she called last night to say she was going away for a few days. Asked me to look after the place while she was gone," Nero said. Jax's heart sunk into his chest.

"She say where she was going?" he asked casually. Nero furrowed his brow in confusion.

"She didn't," he said slowly. Jax could feel the questions on Nero's mind, but he never spoke them. He wasn't an intrusive guy - knew how to mind his business.

"Well did she say how long she'd be gone for?" he asked. Nero shrugged.

"Just said a couple of days. Said she had to take care of a few things," he said, "Told me to email her if I needed anything. Said she'd have her phone off."

"Shit," Jax muttered under his breath, shaking his head. With her phone off, he wouldn't be able to have Juice track it and would have no way of figuring out where she was. He knew immediately that's why she had done it, and if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be, "Alright, thanks, Nero. If you hear from her, will you ask her to give me a call?"

"You got it, bro," Nero said, nodding. Jax turned around and went to the one person Jess might have told where she was going: her aunt, Rose.

But when he got there, he was stone walled. Rose stood before him, arms crossed across her chest, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Jax, I really am. But Jess asked me not to tell anyone where she was going. If she'd wanted you to know, she would have told you," Rose said. Jax studied her, wondering if there was any way he could get the information he needed out of her. Maybe the truth would help.

"I just need to talk to her, Rose," he said, trying to keep his anger subdued, "She took my kid to see Tara behind my back. I need to know why." Rose raised her eyebrows in surprise, but shook her head.

"I'm sorry she did that, Jax, I really am. But that makes me even more sure I can't tell you where she is," Rose said. Jax narrowed his eyes angrily.

"I wouldn't hurt her," he said, "I love her." Rose nodded.

"I know you do. But you're pissed, and I know what you guys are like when you're pissed. You do stupid things, and I can't have you doing those stupid things to Jess. Not on my watch," Rose said, and her voice was firm. Jax rubbed his hands over his face, knowing it was pointless. Rose was loyal to Jess, and he couldn't fault her for that.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Jax took a sip of his beer as he sat out back with Opie, watching Opie's kids, Ellie and Kenny, running around with Abel. Abel screamed in delight as Kenny chased him around the yard, expertly dodging him.

"Still no word from Jess?" Opie asked. Jax shook his head. It had been almost 2 days and not a word. Jax had no idea where she was. His first guess was Santa Barbara, and if he didn't hear from her soon he had no qualms about driving down there and knocking on every single door in the city until he found her.

"Her phone's still off," he said.

"I still can't believe she pulled that shit on you," Opie said, and Jax nodded, pouring his beer down his throat.

"Tara messaged me," Jax finally said once the can was empty, "She was threatening Jess about filing custody for Abel."

"Why the hell didn't Jess tell you that?" Opie asked. Jax shook his head.

"She's been trying to get me to talk to Tara for months," he admitted, "Ever since she came back with Abel from Santa Barbara. I've just been too… pissed. Apparently Jess had to promise Tara that she would be able to see him before she'd let Jess take him back to Charming."

"Well then, what the hell did you think Tara was going to do?" Opie asked, "Just roll over and be okay with never seeing Abel again?" Jax shot him a withering glare, but Opie's expression stayed firm. Jax finally sighed, shaking his head.

"I don't know what I thought she would do," he said, "To be honest, I haven't given Tara a whole hell of a lot of thought. But I went to Rosen earlier today. He's drawing up a contract for visitation for Abel. Hopefully that'll keep Tara from suing my ass." Opie nodded.

"So what are you going to say to Jess if she comes back?" Opie asked.

"She's coming back," Jax said firmly, but a part of him wasn't so sure. Would she really leave for good? Leave Cara Cara? Leave… him?

And what would he say to her if she did come back? It was a question he'd been asking himself all day.

SOASOASOASOASOA

"She's doing this on purpose," Gemma said the next day in the office at TM. Abel was sitting at the desk coloring and Jax was pacing the length of the office, trying to get his thoughts in order. His anger had subsided and once his head had cleared of that, he had begun to see things from her side. Gemma, however, seemed intent on keeping Jess the villain of this story.

"She wants attention. She wants the focus to be off of what she did to you, to this family, and onto worry about where she is," Gemma continued, "She's trying to manipulate-" But Jax had finally had enough. Gemma had been rattling on and on for the last 10 minutes and it wasn't helping.

"Shut the fuck up, Gem," he finally said, interrupting her tirade. Gemma pursed her lips, resting her hands on her hips.

"You know I'm right," she said.

"Yeah, she fucked up," Jax said, "But if I hadn't forced her hand… if I'd dealt with Tara myself. She was threatening to take me to court."

"Well Jess should have told you that," Gemma replied stubbornly. Jax cocked an eyebrow in amusement.

"She'd been trying to talk to me about it for months. I wouldn't listen," Jax said, not really believing that he was defending her. But something about the way his mom had gripped onto this whole thing so tightly and wouldn't let go really pissed him off.

"But it was your business to handle. Jess might be Otto's kid, and that makes her family, but you and Abel are my blood. No one fucks with blood," Gemma said, her voice low.

"Just stop it," Jax said, "Jess wasn't handing Abel over to Tara. She was just taking him to the zoo."

"So you're defending her now? You think it was okay?" Gemma asked.

"Of course I don't think it was okay. I'm pissed as hell at her, but I love her and I know she'd never do anything to hurt Abel. She almost died for him and Lux, or have you forgotten that?" Jax asked. Gemma winced.

"So she gets a free pass forever because of that?" she asked. Jax shrugged, a smirk on his face.

"Pretty much, yeah," he said. Gemma narrowed her eyes, scoffing, but Jax knew the conversation was over.

Now if he could just get Jess to fucking talk to him…

AN: WOW! Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed! I appreciate the feedback soooo much and it really helped give me direction on where to take these next few chapters! If you have a second, please review and leave us any feedback you have - it's so motivating and we love hearing what y'all think!