AN: i decided i wanted to publish two chapters this week, so ill have this not and one on friday. next week... i guess ill decide whether the last chapter goes up on tuesday or friday based on if i finish. as those of you who follow me on twitter know, ch 6 has been giving me a frankly unreasonable amount of trouble... ill power thru, tho! i enjoy Wish way too much!
Ace wishes Not-Sabo had stayed dead. It's not just the fact he's absolutely terrifying. It's not the fact Ace has barely slept at all since the guy arrived. It's not even good, brotherly concern for Luffy. No, if Ace is honest, Not-Sabo's greatest offense is how much Luffy likes him.
Their resident abomination is a model big brother. He's everything Luffy has been asking Ace to be, doing all the things Ace was too terrified to. He's started back up the daily sparing which Ace abandoned, too afraid of hurting another brother to raise a hand against Luffy. A few days ago Not-Sabo took Luffy to dine-and-dash in High Town, a place Ace has successfully insisted they avoid for nearly seven years. On top of that, Ace knows they snuck off to do something stupid yesterday, but Luffy won't tell Ace what they were up to, and Not-Sabo won't talk to him at all. His own little brother is keeping secrets for that monster's sake!
All of this while Not-Sabo completely ignores Ace's very existence. He hasn't spoken to Ace since trying to kill Ace on their first night. He does whatever he can to not only avoid Ace, but make sure Luffy does, too. More than once Ace has woken up to find the two of them already gone, off on some adventure Ace couldn't be a part of. Ace is starting to think maybe Not-Sabo has been a better brother in a few days than Ace has been in seven years.
Ace isn't jealous. He's pissed, but…
"Hey, Ace!" Ace looks up. He was supposed to be keeping score of Luffy and Not-Sabo's latest bout, but he wasn't really paying attention… "We haven't gone fishing in a really long time, so me and Sabo were thinking-"
"No." Ace says immediately, sitting up straighter. "No way in hell. You can't swim, Luffy."
"But you and Sabo are here!" Luffy insists. "And we haven't had fish or alligator or anything in forever! We can go catch dinner and come right back! If you come along, you can make sure nothing happens."
Like that'll do them any good.
"Sabo and I are gonna go no matter what." Luffy says. "Please come with us?"
Ace looks to Not-Sabo, who watches him with disinterest. The last thing he wants to do is visit the water with something wearing his drowned brother's face, but Letting Luffy go alone with Not-Sabo would be even worse.
"Alright, I'll come." Ace says, standing. Luffy grins.
"Great! Let's go now!" Luffy says, running back to Not-Sabo.
"This isn't the river." Ace says. It's not like Luffy said they'd be going to the river, but he'd thought it was at least implied. Ace has avoided the cliffs by Dawn's edge, especially when Luffy is with him. Sabo drowned, after all, without even being a hammer. Bringing Luffy by the sea feels like tempting fate, and fate is very scarcely on Ace's side.
"No, guess not!" Luffy says, and Ace frowns. Did he do this on purpose? "Me and Sabo thought you should face your fears! He said since he didn't really die, it would be good for you to come out and face the sea again."
"Right." Ace glances over Luffy's head to Not-Sabo, standing a step away from the water's edge. He's got that same fucking smile on his face. Is he planning something?
"Luffy wants to go to sea." Not-Sabo adds, planting his pipe in the soil in front of him. "You're going to have to let him go one day, Ace."
There's something unsettling in Not-Sabo's tone, but before Ace can place it, Luffy breaks away from Ace. He stops at the cliff's edge a yard away, just beyond Not-Sabo, before he turns back to face Ace. Ace jumps to his feet, but he doesn't move.
"Luffy, that's-" Ace starts, but Luffy laughs.
"I'm not gonna fall. I've got good balance!" Luffy says. He gestures to Not-Sabo, who's leaning on the pole without putting much weight on it. "Plus, Sabo can catch me, and so can you. I'm not worried."
""I'm not- Come on, what does this even get you?" Ace asks, taking a step forward. He needs to pull Luffy away from there. "You can prove your point without standing so-"
"No, I can't!" Luffy insists. "You're always running away! You've been running away since we thought Sabo died! You never used to be like that, you used to never back down no matter what happened and no matter how strong your enemy was!"
"This is different." Ace says, stealing another step towards the ocean. "The enemy then was… It was the world, and I-"
"Your enemy was you." Luffy says, folding his arms. Ace freezes, a step and a half short of his brother. Not-Sabo stands to the side, watching their interaction in silence. As Luffy talks, Not-Sabo begins to lean more heavily on the pole. It's like he's watching a show unfold, unnaturally relaxed when set against Ace and Luffy.
"Luffy..."
"You hated yourself more than you hated the guy who shot Sabo out of the water." Luffy continues, "But it wasn't your-"
And suddenly Luffy is gone, the ground below him crumbling away. Ace hears the splash before he even processes what he's seeing. Luffy disappears below the water in an instant, yanked down by his devil fruit. Panic sweeps over Ace immediately. Another brother drowning right in front of him! It's Ace's worst nightmare again, but worse, so much worse. He has to help, he has to do something, but his feet are frozen to the ground. He feels like he's drowning again, like his esophagus has filled with water and smoke and his throat and his lungs and his heart are burning, and he can't breathe. Ace killed Sabo because he let Sabo down. Sabo disappeared into a too-vast sea, what if Luffy does the same? What if Ace k-
Another splash shakes Ace out of his own head. Maybe five seconds have passed since Luffy fell into the water, but that was enough, wasn't it? Not-Sabo is in the water, pulling a barely-sunken Luffy above the waves.
"Ace! Help us up!" Not-Sabo snaps, jerking his head in the direction of his abandoned pipe. "It's the least you could do!"
Ace grabs the pipe without a word, holding it down so Not-Sabo can grab on. He pulls them out, watching Not-Sabo lie Luffy down. His hand feels numb where he still holds Not-Sabo's pipe.
"You okay?" Not-Sabo asks. Luffy nods, coughing. He spits out water, but Ace only feels like his own lungs are filling more. Ace's worst nightmare…
"I'm alright." Luffy says, laughing. "I guess the ground wasn't so stable after all."
"I'm glad you're okay." Not-Sabo says. "Let's just sit back and catch some fish for dinner, alright? I think you made your point to Ace just fine."
"Yup." Ace mutters. "Loud and clear."
Not-Sabo pulls a soggy Luffy away from the edge, Ace only watching. When it mattered most, when Luffy needed him, he just stood there and panicked. Some fucking demon could do better than Ace. Is that the kind of brother Ace is? Is that the kind of brother Luffy deserves?
Luffy and Not-Sabo fish together for a few hours. Ace hangs out behind them, just watching from the tree line. Luffy sits next to Not-Sabo, his legs hanging over the edge of the cliff, a bright smile on his face. He's in no danger, sitting next to Not-Sabo. It's only when Ace got close that Luffy fell in. It's Ace's fault, of course it's Ace's fault. If Not-Sabo hadn't been there, Luffy would be dead. Ace would have killed him, too.
Ace always knew. If he'd just tried harder back then, Sabo would be fine. If he'd tried harder today, Luffy might not have even fallen in! He could have caught Luffy, or dived in after him, or… Or done anything else! Done anything that wasn't just to freeze up. All he's meant to do is to watch his loved ones die, or to kill them outright. Not-Sabo didn't just save Luffy, he stopped Ace. He made it clear from the start, didn't he, that this is what he was here to do? That he knew what Ace had done, that he was here to fix it.
Luffy wished, the night before Not-Sabo arrived, that Sabo was here instead. He didn't say "instead," but Ace knows. Is that what created this thing? Does Luffy want Ace replaced that badly?
In front of Ace, Luffy's line snags a fish. Not-Sabo wraps his arms around Luffy to grab the fishing rod, trying to help him pull it up. This is what Luffy wanted, isn't it? A brother who could actually help him, who could stand to sit by the ocean-the place of Luffy's dreams-without panicking, who wouldn't shy away from all sorts of danger and recklessness. A brother who wouldn't run. The sort of brother Sabo was, the sort of brother Ace used to be. Did Ace really hate Not-Sabo this whole time? Or did Ace just know all along what he's only now realizing?
Not-Sabo's presence is a threat to Ace. Not in that Not-Sabo is dangerous, but in that Luffy finally has something to compare Ace to. Ace is the best brother in the world when they don't know any other people their age with siblings, when what's left of Sabo has rotted away somewhere on the ocean floor. But their new not-brother…
Now it's clear to everyone. Ace has always known. All those years ago, he should have been faster, been stronger, been more determined. He should have found Sabo or died trying. Because even a demon wearing Sabo's skin did better at being a brother in one fucking week than Ace had in seven years. Ace can trust some goddamn abomination with Luffy over his own self. And if that's the case, what does that make Ace?
As the sun starts to set, Ace watches the other two carry their fish back home. He follows without doing much, knowing they really don't need his help to clean their fish or make a fire. Luffy seems to have forgotten Ace is even here altogether, though it doesn't really bother Ace at all. That's what Ace gets, isn't it? He takes a seat on the other side of the fire, letting the two of them sit next to each other. Let Not-Sabo take the spot where Luffy's brother sits. He deserves it far more.
Ace watches them interact. Luffy is laughing about something with his whole body, his smile brighter than the fire that sits between them. Not-Sabo leans on his pipe with one arm, gesturing with the other. Ace knows now that he's watching what could have been, had he not killed Sabo all those years ago.
Maybe this is Ace's second chance. Maybe this is Luffy's second chance, Sabo's second chance. Why did Ace even bother to fight it? Why couldn't he have just played along from the start? Luffy believed the stranger's story immediately, and look how happy he is. How happy they are! Why did Ace want to stand in the way of this, anyway? Isn't this a good thing? This is what Luffy wished for. Why should Ace insist so much that this man isn't their brother?
All of a sudden, Ace's head feels sort of fuzzy. He's forgetting something, but he doesn't know what. Why did he believe so strongly that this wasn't their brother? He can't seem to remember…
For the first time in the night, Ace realizes he's being watched.
Across the fire, Sabo is staring at him. He gives Ace a wide, toothy grin.
Quietly, the old scar on Ace's arm begins to fade.
AN: having this fic be strictly to Ace's pov works very well, but that did mean i had to be subtle about some of the stuff Not-Sabo pulled on him...