I followed the main pipeline and twisted my way through the sewers with a hand on the wall. It was hard to focus on sight because of the smell of sewage. At one point I had to stop and sit and breathe before I could keep moving because otherwise, I would have gotten lost. I think the only reason why I didn't turn around and head back to the surface was the irate need to know that Leonardo had survived. It weighed on me, a crushed feeling in my conscience.
It's funny, I remembered hating him, even though I don't remember a lot about my time with the turtles. I remembered Donnie fixing my arm and late evenings talking, sparring matches or talking with Raph, and playing games with Mikey, but I remembered hating and distrusting Leonardo the strongest.
I wandered the sewers aimlessly, turning now and again until I found something that was familiar. I passed a train tunnel, a staircase, and a major system in the main sewer. Eventually, I recognized the area; the walls had pieces falling apartt, water leaked from the ceiling, the ground was picked up in places, and some dangerous substances were on the walls, but I knew this area. Not much else looked familiar, but I thought that would be enough. I pressed a gloved hand to the wall as I walked, as if that would help me remember. A pipeline came out of it eventually, and then proceeded down the hallway I was walking through.
Left. I turned at the junction, and the crack left my fingers. I continue forward and took the next left. Then straight, right, straight, and left again. I stopped. My memory didn't go this far. I missed something. No, I got the pattern right, there was something in this part of the sewer. I looked around, took in the area once more. The walls were better organized and clean, the ground wasn't falling apart, and the roof was a fairly good height. I looked around once more to find the reason as to why this spot was important. Four pipes came out of the wall and curled a foot before they went right back it. Nothing too special, but they felt important. I brushed my fingers along them, and grabbed the second to last one.
When I pulled down, it moved. The wall in front of me opened suddenly, and it made me jump. I peered through the door to an elaborate model of a home, a true home. Love seats, couches, several TV's, game stations, doors that led to multiple other rooms. I stepped into the home and looked around more. There weren't any lamps or outlets, all of the light was coming from something built into the walls.
I whirled around when the door slammed behind me. My instincts jumped in, and I tried to figure out how I was going to get out.
The door was noticeable inside, but completely hidden outside. Above it was a sign, broken at least twice, but mended again. It was a home sweet home sign, only instead, it said Sewer Sweet Sewer. I smiled at that, and my shoulders relaxed. I knew that sign.
"What are you doing here?" Someone from my right hissed.
I whirled around to face the person, all my senses on alert. I withheld from grabbing my katana because this place was safe. Or supposed to be.
It was one of the turtles, though I couldn't tell which one. He didn't wear a color-coordinated mask nor his weapon. He had jade green skin and light brown eyes, and I wished I'd paid more attention to the four of them last I saw them.
I remembered that Mikey had broken ribs, and I had slashed Leonardo all the way across his chest, and Raph had a cut on his forearm. So the only one who didn't get hurt was the fourth.
"I-I... I wanted to make sure you guys were alright?" I asked Donnie.
What I said seemed to make Donnie calm down a little. He relaxed his pose and even rubbed his eyes, which required he stopped looking at me. I didn't dare make a move to go farther into the home, I didn't know if I was allowed now that I was here.
"Raph's alright, Mikey is supposed to be bedridden but he doesn't listen, and Leo is stuck to his bed until I say otherwise." He told me, which I bet was the briefest he could make it sound.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. I knew I had too, I was supposed too, and I had wanted to for days. "It doesn't take back a single thing I did, but I am sorry."
Don was done rubbing his eyes then, and he looked at me critically. I felt like I was being dissected by the turtle from head to toe as he judged if I was genuine. I stayed exactly where I was and didn't move my eyes from his.
"You nearly killed my brother." He murmured. I nodded in agreement, and I turned my head down to the ground.
"I know. I don't have a right to be here, either." I answered.
"So why are you here?" He asked blithely. I pinched my eyes closed, and had to rely on my sense of hearing to know where he was. As a ninja, and a possible enemy, that was the bravest thing I could have done then.
"I... I wanted to know your brothers were ok. I wanted to know Leo was alive and that Mikey woke up. If you want I will leave as soon as I get the answers, and I won't come back." I said.
"Raph would want you to come back," Don replied, from the space immediately in front of me. I rocked on my heels because I hadn't heard him move at all. To hear him so close shocked me.
"I won't stay unless all of you wanted me here. I don't remember a lot from the last time I was here, but I do remember I liked most of you then, and I like all of you now, but still, I don't want any of you to have someone you don't trust in your home." I said quietly.
"If you can barely remember us, why do you like us?" Don asked, all curiosity. I chanced it to open my eyes and look at him. The hard edge I'd seen before was gone, now he looked curious.
"I remember enough to know I did like you four," I answered.
"Even Leo?" He asked.
"Well, I appreciate him now. Like may be a strong word." I said truthfully.
"You don't hate him though?" Don asked for clarification.
"No. I don't hate him." I agreed.
Don stared at me critically for a bit, and then he sighed.
"I don't like you right now. I don't know who you are either, but I'm not going to kick you out because all of my brothers do like you. Raph like likes you, Mikey likes you like Mikey likes all his friends, and you apparently grew on Leo. So, for that, I won't remove you from this home." He said. I nodded to his words immediately, I was not going to try and challenge him.
"I understand." I murmured. He sighed again.
"Leo is probably awake. He said if you ever showed up he wanted to talk to you." Don said. He turned away from me and walked towards the staircase. I followed him because I assumed that's what I was supposed to do.
"Is he... lucid?" I asked as we approached a door.
"Yeah. Painkillers don't affect him mentally. Just physically. So if he flops a little, that'll be the morphine." Don told me. The image of a completely serious Leo flopping on the ground to get water pervaded my mind, and I laughed for a split second. Don looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.
"I imagined Leo flopping for water," I explained. Don blinked at me, and then he smiled.
"You always had a funny imagination." He said. I didn't get a chance to ask what he meant by that when Leo's voice came through the door. Don didn't even have to knock.
"You can open the door," Leo called out. His voice sent a shock through me, and I remembered the last time I met him. He moved so easily, like liquid.
"You have a visitor," Don said as he opened the door. Leonardo chuckled deeply, and the laugh tugged at my memory.
"If it's April again, I don't want it." He replied.
"Nope. Someone completely different." Don told him.
Leonardo went silent, and then he asked for me to walk in. Donnie stepped away from the door and held it open for me. I swallowed heavily and walked through the doors. I didn't look up until the door closed behind me.
The room reminded me of Feudal Japan. On the wall hanged Japanese sayings and posters. There was a weapon rack in the corner with numerous weapons: scimitars, katanas, bokos, bo staff, nunchaku, sais, fans, and several other I couldn't name. The shelf in the corner had books in both English and Japanese, and on top of it was an aged scripture that was tucked safely. Leonardo's bed was in the corner of the room. It was a rich shade of blue, and he was in it. A night stand was next to it, where a single candle, a box of morphine, and a glass of cold water lay. Leonardo was in an upright position and had a book in his lap. The covers pooled in his lap and it showed me the damage I'd caused.
His entire chest was swathed in gauze to the point I couldn't see any plastron. Hints of blood were still there, but it looked relatively safe. Leonardo still held his left arm to his chest though, with his hand splayed against where I cut him deepest. I stepped in farther as I continued to stare at Leonardo.
"Why are you here?" Leonardo asked similarly to his brother, but he didn't say it with malice. He didn't glare at me as I walked further into his room. In fact, he looked completely fine with everything having to do with me in this room. Which I knew wasn't how things used to be.
"I," I clenched my jaw. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."
Leonardo smiled at me and folded an ear in his book. He put it next to the glass of water, and beckoned me forwards. It took five steps before I stood over his bed. Up close I could notice other details of him. Blood loss, severely. He had bags under his eyes, and he had a cold sweat over his body. His mouth was pressed, and his fingers twitched over the wrap over his chest.
"Well, you can see I'm quite fine." He said, his eyes soft. I tightened my shoulders, and willed my face not to crumble. Leo wasn't glaring. He wasn't angry at me. He looked absolutely calm with me here. I would have expected him to distrust me after nearly killing him, but he was fine.
"You can sit." He offered awkwardly. I stayed standing, but lined my body up with the bed.
"I'm..." I hesitated as my throat closed up a little.
"You don't have to say it," Leonardo said. I furrowed my brows and nodded to what he said.
"I know," I whispered. I attempted to focus on his face, but his gauze covered chest kept taunting me like pinpricks. Leo could see it, and he lifted the covers to cover himself.
"I forgive you." He murmured.
"Why?" I asked.
"There are a few reasons. One is that you are going to hold this against yourself for a very long time, and I think Donnie will too. You don't need me to do so as well. Another is that I view you differently now. I don't know if you remember or not but when you and I first met I didn't trust you. It wasn't until after you left and I saw what you continued to do for us, plus the fact my brothers were on your side, that I saw I might have been a bit too harsh when I first judged you." Leo explained. I didn't know whether I should talk or not, so I waited.
"Is that it?" I asked.
"No, there are others, but I'm still deciding them as we speak," Leo said, and smiled just a pinch.
"I'm sorry," I said, finally able to say it.
"I know." He responded.
"I'm pretty sure Donnie asked you this already, but what do you remember?" Leo asked curiously. I smile softly, and finally sat down on the bed. Leonardo moved his leg to give me room to rest.
"I remember Hitoshi most. He taught me how to fight, how to fend for myself, told me a bit about the life I was going to have in NYC. Mostly, he taught me how to respect and be respected, and how to deal with others with honor. It was like his code of armor, kind of like you." I said with a smile. Leo did remind me of Hitoshi now that I said it out loud, it made me wonder why I didn't try to be nice to him before I got amnesia. Maybe I felt threatened for Hitoshi because of how similar he was to Leo. Maybe I could see the similarities but there was something in them that made me stay away.
"I also remember Donnie fixing my arm, and a bit about playing games with Mikey, and sparring with Raph, and conversations with all three of them. And something about a rat..." I trailed off, and Leo's eyes saddened.
"Do you remember anything about me?" He asked. I swallowed thickly at the sudden nervous feeling.
"Yeah... I remember distrusting you. I remember hating you," I answered honestly. Leo nodded to what I said as if to assure me that was true. "But I don't remember why. You're always in the back."
"Do you want too?" He asked after a few moments.
"No," I answered immediately. He raised an eye ridge, silently asking why. "I know you can't forget, but I want to have a clean slate with you. I can't remember anything about you, but for some reason, as soon as the memories started, I wanted to be on friendlier terms with you."
"You can stop killing?" He asked. I laughed at him, and he raised an eyebrow.
"Then we are probably best friends right about now," I answered amused. He raised his eyebrow even farther and I smiled. "I haven't killed anyone since I was attacked. You guys would have been my first murders."
His face immediately fell, and my smile turned to a somber note.
"You haven't killed anyone?" He asked.
A sound of shuffling was heard outside, and Leo and I looked at the door.
"Besides the thousand or so before I was attacked, I haven't killed a soul," I answered.
There was a loud knock on the door, which signaled the end of our conversation.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Mikey and Raph. Donnie probably got them up." Leo answered instead of whoever was behind the door.
The door slammed open and Mikey barged in. Or at least tried too. He leaned against Donnie, but he looked ready to barge at me. I popped up from my seat and waited to see what Mikey would do. He dislodged Donnie from his side before he walked the distance to me.
He had a wrap around his torso, and he leaned to the left to take the weight off the broken ribs, but he stood strong and had a grin on his face. His blue eyes sparkled, a stark contrast against the green of his light skin. He didn't have his mask on, which officially led me to believe that they needed new masks. Which gave me a reason to come back.
"Is it safe to hug you this time?" He asked. I felt like an inside joke went over my head then, like there was something in the statement that was said before. It was possible I didn't like to be touched before, in fact, it made sense that I hadn't. This time I'd loved to be hugged.
"Yeah," I answered, and opened my arms a bit to accept the hug he would undoubtedly give me.
Mikey smiles a bit brighter, his eyes sparkled a bit more, and he took the two steps necessary towards me before wrapped his arms around me. He was slightly shorter than I and aimed for my waist, so I hooked my arms around his neck. Mikey hugged me with all the enthusiasm he could muster with half his side gone, and then he took a deep breath and lifted me into the air.
"Mikey!" Donnie scolded before I'd even reached the peak of wherever Mikey planned to take me. Mikey managed to spin me around in a circle before he stumbled. He put me down on the ground and leaned his weight on me. I went from hugged his shoulders to one arm wrapped under him.
"I've wanted to do that for quite some time." Mikey chuckled.
"Mikey," Leo sighed. "Sit down."
"No, I'm good." Mikey tried, and stood up a bit more. Whether or not he believed what he said I walked him over to Leo's bed. As soon as we were against the bed I made Mikey sit. The blue-eyed terrapin wasn't prepared to let me go though, and dragged me down with him by the arm he had around my shoulders.
"I'm sorry Mikey." I murmured from beside him. Mikey promptly covered my mouth with his hand, which got a distressed noise from Don.
"Oh, hush. It's fine. I've dealt with bigger wounds." Mikey said. He looked over at me with a smile. I felt something rise in me. Anger. Disbelief.
"M-ky..." I muffled out. I reached up and grabbed his hand. I pulled it away so I could talk. "While I am sorry about the ribs, that's not all I'm apologizing for. I tried to kill you guys, I nearly succeeded with Leo! Why is Don the only one reacting normally here?"
"I think Donnie is reacting a bit too much, to be honest," Mikey responded. He grinned at whatever look Don gave him. "But you lived with us, we know a bit about how you work. If you were in your normal state of mind you would have told Shredder to stick it where the sun doesn't shine, then promptly would have showed him how to."
"She wasn't in her normal state of mind, Mikey. She still isn't." Don told him. Mikey's smile faded, and he looked between the two of us.
"Well, she's still a friend," Mikey defended, like it was that simple.
"That wasn't the point Don wanted to make," I responded.
"There isn't a point," Raph said from the doorway. In an instant, Mikey's arm was up and off of me, which I barely felt as I stared at the dark green terrapin behind Don. "Ya feel guilt. It's natural. An' it's somethin' we have all felt at one point or another."
Raph looked tired, but I guess that was expected. It'd only been a few days, Mikey and Leo were only so much better. His right bicep was covered, and he held it close to his body. It seemed surreal to see him; no mask, dark green skin, hazel eyes. This one the person who saved me a few times now, even when I didn't make it easy. He had a look like he was happy and apprehensive at the same time as he stared back. His eyes slide to Leo, then back to me as he walked in farther.
"I've tried to kill Leo before. Got angry an' attacked." Raph said, directly at me.
"Don nearly murdered the whole family once. A freak accident with an experiment." Mikey piped in.
"I nearly killed my brothers and father while trying to protect them," Leo spoke out. Raph stepped in farther, and now stood beside Don.
"We've all felt that guilt before, Liza. The only thing it proves is that you care." Mikey murmured.
"But that's family. That's a lifetime of relationship. I'm an outsider. You don't just forgive someone for something like that." I rebutted.
"We need to do that if we ever want to meet others," Don muttered, half to himself.
"Have you been hurt by 'friends' before?" I asked, appalled and surprised. I couldn't imagine a friend hurting them. That wasn't what friends did. None I knew at least.
"Well, there's the daimyo's son, Cody's uncle, Angel sent Raph into a trap, Karai is definitely at the top of the list." Mikey clicked off.
"Karai?!" I blurted out way louder than needed. Karai acted like these four were a bane of her existence, it was impossible to see her and them as friends. Don's grimace and Raph's sneer didn't help Mikey's statement any either.
"That one is a messy situation," Leo said sternly, his words directed at Mikey. "She's more an occasional ally than a friend."
"Occasional ally?" I intrigued. Leo looked over Mikey's shoulder and at me.
"Anytime there's been a reason, Karai would join us to survive or save New York City or her father. That does not make her a friend." He explained, to me and to Mikey. Mikey grinned at the lead turtle.
"You're an "occasional ally" to Shredder's daughter, but you couldn't bear to have a believer of cold hard justice in your home?" I asked in disbelief.
"To be honest, that wasn't why I kicked you out. I saw you as a threat to my family, and when you kiss Raph I was overprotective because of the list Mikey just made," Leo answered. "Friends don't just fall from the sky for us, and no one has really shown... affection. I... was afraid... you were up to something. As soon as I learned there was more to you, I felt bad about the whole ordeal."
"He was a bit late to that rodeo. He realized everything the night you were attacked." Mikey chittered then.
"I would take it back if I could," Leo butted back in.
"Does tha' mean I can get near Liza without ya throwin' a fit?" Raph abruptly asked Leo. I looked away from Leo to see Raph once more, and he was now fidgeting and staring at Leo. I stood up at the possibility of touching Raph again, but waited for Leo to say something first. Leo sat up far enough to reach around Mikey and pushed me as his answer. I hadn't expected him to push so harshly and stumbled forwards. Raph moved around Don and caught me before I could get much farther than a step and a half. I landed haphazardly against Raph and caught myself against his front side. Raph wrapped his good arm around me to hold me up, and had his other arm out to catch himself.
I looked up slowly as a flush covered my cheeks, and I stared up at the turtle that likely saved all of us.
"Thank you." I breathed. Raph stopped glaring at Leo and looked down at me. At a distance like this, with proper light, I saw the thin scales that covered his chest and up to his neck. I could see little scars over his skin, from no doubt training, or possibly even actual fights.
"Sorry." Leo murmured from behind me. Raph didn't look back at him again though. He kept his eyes on me as he corrected both of our stances.
At full height, he wrapped both of his arms around me completely and hugged me carefully, like I could break. My arms were squeezed out from between our bodies and I moved them carefully over Raph's shoulders. My hands met behind his head, and while it was probably meant to be a hug, Raph and I stared at each other.
"It's good," Raph said, to me and to Leo.
A/n: Somewhere in the next few chapters, my writing is going to bleed back into what it was originally, with the necessary corrections of names of course. Chapter 14 is generally where my writing style for first-person clicked into place all those years ago, and when I went back through them I didn't change much.
Anywho, thank you for reading!