October 23, 2007
The turtles' lair has had its fair share of shouts and hoots, screams and yells. Casey Jones liked to hoot a lot with sports, and there was a time when the lair didn't go a day without the shouts and yells of Raph and Leo fighting. There have been screams of frustration, anger, agony, sometimes happiness and sometimes misery. And today, Mikey was making a good show of how high he could shout and how low he could groan.
"Awe man! Come on," Mikey bemoaned. He fell back against the couch and dropped his controller to the floor. The brunette that sat next to him unsuccessfully tried to hide her laugh. She laid the controller in her lap and covered her mouth with both of her hands as Mikey continued his monologue on how a, "Seventeen year old girl who probably hasn't even seen an XBox and TV for several years, could beat Mikey. The Nexus Battle Champion."
Raph sat half behind Liza, more silent in his amusement of Mikey getting his shell cracked. He was the surface Liza leaned against, first just for fun and now to hold her up. In the beginning, before Mikey showed up, they talked while she pressed a few buttons with disinterest. If she got in trouble, he would take the controller and get her out of it. When Mikey showed up she took the game more personally and became competitive, and Raph hasn't touched a controller since.
"How are ya beatin' him?" Raph asked quietly. Liza looked over at Raph as the "Died" screen showed up on Mikey's half again. Mikey shut up to hear the secret.
"I gave up trying. I've been pressing random buttons for the last thirty minutes now." She whispered back. She pinched her mouth closed to withhold the laughter once more. Raph laughed out loud and Mikey's expression fell.
"Are you kidding me!" Mikey asked. He looked constipated and flailed his arms around as he tried to say something else. Liza finally laughed as he floundered, and then he pointed a finger at her. She stopped laughing as Mikey jumped up from the couch and crept over to the couple. He loomed over them menacingly, and had Liza not known the turtle, she probably would have gotten up and away from him. Since she did know him she didn't move away, and Mikey dove forwards to tickle her sides. Before she had a prayer to stop Mikey, Raph grabbed her arms and pulled her towards him, baring her torso to Mikey's attack.
"Awe come one, don't gang up!" Liza chirped instantly as she tried to cover her ribs. When she found she couldn't because of Raph she reached up over herself to grab Raph's hands, a bold move considering it left her front entirely open to Mikey's attack.
"Now, you're getting tickled." Mikey laughed aloud, taking full advantage of the open torso.
Raph's hands perched on her shoulders like vices, and Liza couldn't get more than one of his fingers off at a time. He pressed his forehead to the nape of her neck, silently chuckling away as Liza tried to dislodge his grip. She abandoned Raph's hands after several seconds and went back to get at Mikey.
"Please." Liza gasped out, struggling not to laugh while she talked. Raph let it go for another minute before he decided they'd tortured Liza enough. He looked over at a smiling Mikey, ready to finally help his girlfriend and tell him to knock it off. His eyes were drawn to a green figure behind Mikey though, and it was surprise he felt when he recognized Leo, who was holding a finger to his smiling mouth. It was a surprising sight, because Leo had only started walking a week ago, and he only moved when he absolutely had to. The bandages that still covered his chest and the distinct lack of use of his left arm was the reason he only did as necessary. Still, he was close to being ready to train again.
Raph and Leo shared a brief look, and Raph hid his face back in Liza's neck, letting Leo do what he wanted. Leo didn't usually join in on something fun like tickling, so if Leo wanted to do it, Raph wasn't going to spoil it.
Mikey made a very loud yelp, well it was a squeak really, and Liza opened her eyes when Mikey's hands disappeared from her yellowed ribs. She took a deep breath to get her breath back as Leo attacked Mikey's sides with harmless vigor, distracting him from the only human in the home. He released a low, controlled laugh as Mikey squirmed to escape.
"No, Leo! Get away!" Mikey squawked out, and proceeded to jump over the couch and away from Leo. Leo made a move to follow, which had Mikey bolting for the other room, and then he stopped. He stood back to his full height, and wobbled a little as he placed his hand on his shoulder. The corners of his mouth twisted in a smile that matched the mirth in his eyes. Leo inhaled deeply and released it slowly. His body relaxed as he did the breathing exercise, and he looked at the two still on the couch. His eyes roved over their forms, and it was a snap to reality for them that while their relationship was a month and a half old, Leo had never seen them together. The two felt self-conscious then.
"Hey Leo," Liza started, watching him. "I'm glad to see you walking again."
Leo's eyes focused on Liza's, and he smiled almost brilliantly.
"It's good to be walking," He responded. His smile returned to a soft look, "You guys look good together."
He suddenly turned on his heel, and walked around to wherever he'd originally planned to go. He looked back at Liza before he went into the dojo, and smiled. It was a soft smile, a friendly one. Liza relaxed against Raph, and took a deep breath. That was good, she was still ok with Leo.
October 26, 2007
"So tell me, what have you been doing topside?" Leo asked. He took one of the dumbbells off the racks and sat down on the bench close to me. I pulled back from the stretch I was doing slowly, careful not to cramp them.
"Training Foot Ninjas, looking around Shredder's Lair to try and figure out a plan that will work, working at night..." I trailed off. All I wanted was to hint at it, so Leo knew what I was still doing. I didn't like it yet, probably never would, but I felt like it was something all the turtles should be aware that I do. See me in all of my uglies, or something like that.
Leo stuttered in one of his slow curls to work his arm back into shape, and he stared at me fully now. He didn't look angry, or like any of the memories I retained of him, but he looked like something. His eyes roved my face for answers, and I tried to tell him with a look that I didn't want it, but I had too.
"Black Mask Terror?" He clarified stiffly. I nodded, and waited with bated breath for what he would do. I remembered, and was told by Mikey and Raph many times, that this was the reason Leo didn't give me a chance, to begin with. I was... am a murderer. And murderers, to them, were never good people.
"I know I should have expected it, but why?" He asked. I let out a slow breath and folded my legs in front of me slowly. I leaned forward as far as I could reach, taking my eyes off Leo. When I sat up again, he was using the small weight once more. He had his right hand against the scar on his left shoulder as he lifted the weight, like it pained him.
"Remember the day I came in all battered and bloodied?" I asked. Leo dropped the hand holding his shoulder and lifted the weight up higher, a test I assumed. His arm didn't shake, which he seemed pleased with. He nodded to what I said, and that was all I needed to continue.
"Hun got paranoid. Before I found you four that night, I never left the lair beyond the missions Shredder sent me on. Hun has spent years trying to kill you guys, and I did it ten minutes after meeting you for the first time? Hun couldn't see me doing it. He thought I let you guys go. So he tried beating the truth out of me, because I don't just get up and leave the lair. And to get out alive, I had to lie. I told him I was patrolling the city, because I was going to become Black Terror again. And to keep the lie up, I had to become a murderer." I explained. Leo rested his arm on his thigh and leaned forward. He stared at me for a long time before he spoke again.
"You don't want too?" He asked, surprised. I shook my head once and looked away from him. We sat in a weird silence for a few moments before I got up and went up to go to the weapon wall. I grabbed one of their weirder weapons, one I didn't know by name. I turned around, and swung the chain attached to the weird ax. I looked at Leo, a question on my face.
"What's this called?" I asked, and held it up better for him to see. Leo stared at it for a brief second with a surprised look, and I wondered if there was a memory I wasn't aware of attached to this weapon.
He stood up, placed the dumbbell on the bench, and walked over to me. My neck craned the closer he got, and I found I once more cursed their ever increasing height. He looked over the weapon with what I'd call a fond smile, and he grabbed the ax side. He looked at the weapon and took in its weight.
"This is a Bakuhatsu Gama. A Sickle," He explained slowly, with that same fond smile on his face. He lifted the ax up and continued talking, "Attached to a chain."
He pointed at the end I held, and I looked at the long chain. This felt familiar. This conversation felt familiar. I could see it, brief glimpses of something, almost exactly like this.
"I've asked this question before, haven't I?" I asked. Leo smiled at me, and it was all I needed to know. He placed the handle of the sickle back into my hand and closed my fingers around it slowly, and this felt symbolic. If I had to guess, this conversation did happen, we didn't like it. It made me wonder why it happened. Why would I ask the question?
"It usually has poison pouches in it, which you can unleash and throw." He continued, and we both looked at the weapon. Leo pointed at where the poison pouches were, at the end of the sickle, and something else caught my eye. A little scar across the back of his hand, something I'd never noticed before. It felt familiar, and I wondered if I gave it to him, or if I'd asked him about it before.
"I never did thank you." He murmured. I looked up, startled at his words.
"Thank me?" I reiterated, confused. Leo rested his hand on his shoulder once more, now that he no longer needed it. I think it was becoming a habit of his, touching his shoulder, and I wondered if he knew he did it.
"Yeah. You had the chance to kill us. But you let us go, because of a memory that may or may not have been real." He answered. I tilted my head at him.
"I never said what I saw?" I asked. Leo let his eyes do the questioning, and I looked down at the forgotten weapon, where his still held mine closed over the object. His hand was cooler than mine, and I'd finally plucked the courage to ask what their temperatures were. They averaged 84 degrees, thirteen degrees warmer than a turtle, and twelve degrees colder than a human.
"It was Hitoshi. He was sitting next to me, on a roof outside of the Shredder's lair. Our conversation was jumbled, to this day I still don't know most of what he said. But there was one sentence that stuck out as he pointed at the Shredder's Lair. He said, Shredder is everyone's enemy. Of course, he'll help you once or twice, but in the end, he will always be your enemy," I explained. Leo raised an eye ridge, as if to ask why this could possibly be important. "Out of all the memories I could have had over the course of three years, why would I get a memory that specific? Why not about Raph? Or about my hate for swords? Why was it Hitoshi? A man I can't remember anything about?"
"He was your mentor. You'll always trust your mentor, even if you don't remember them." Leo answered knowingly, and then tilted his head to the dojo door, a silent mention of Master Splinter. I looked at the scar on his shoulder and felt a familiar guilt because of what caused the wound.
"Liza," Leo murmured, and I looked back up at him. "I'm thanking you because a memory is just that. A memory. What defines a person, the very reason I'm standing this close to you with a weapon that you could easily kill me with, is their actions. You stopped your assault. You let us go."
"The memory was the final nail in the coffin though. Before it, I would have followed Shredder blindly, because it was all I knew. With the police after me, the news and the people of New York labeling me a criminal for something I didn't remember doing, Shredder welcomed me 'home' with open arms and a warm smile. For something like that, I would have done anything." I answered honestly, and it felt like I'd taken a band-aid off. I opened up to the fact that Shredder had been a mentor, and how everything I did now was against him. I hoped it proved how much I was trying, and how far I was willing to go, for the turtles.
"What were the other nails for the coffin then?" Leo asked. I shrugged, even though I knew I was going to answer it.
"The other nails... I've never killed anyone who wasn't a criminal, and Shredder never made me think I did. So when I started fighting you, I thought you were criminals who'd done everything you could to thwart Shredder. But you guys refused to fight me, and only defended yourselves. Even the Hot Head refused to pull his weapons out. Four on one, weapons way past my expertise, and none of you tried to kill me? When Raph had me against the wall, I realized that you'd never kill, like I'd been told you would, unless it was the only way out. And even then, you weren't going to kill someone you considered a friend, even if they didn't."
"All these nails made for a rather goopy mix of a lot of confusion and pain, I imagine." Leo empathized. I smiled and nodded.
"Like you wouldn't believe," I answered.
"Thank you for choosing us then." He said. I placed a hand against his good shoulder and pushed lightly. Leo didn't even budge. I wasn't even going to touch that topic right now.
"Now," I began. "Please step away and show me how this weapon works. My neck is starting to cramp."
November 1, 2007
When Liza showed up that evening she was holding a mouthpiece connected to a black box covered in knobs, which was quickly handed over to Donnie without a word from her. I, smartly, handed my controller to Leo, even if it wasn't his turn to play yet, and accepted the heavier load of Liza with open arms when she fell beside me.
"What is that?" Leo asked Don, paying more attention to the thing Don now held and ignoring the "game over" on his side of the screen. Mikey groaned from next to him, most likely annoyed that his competition against us was halted in favor of whatever Liza brought. Don shrugged while he came around and sat down in the lazy boy next to us, fiddling with the knobs on the box, playing with it like it was a gift and not a strange device from nowhere-land.
"It's a... voice modulator?" He asked Liza curiously. There was a quiet beep from the machine when he finally found the power button, and it looked like Don was enjoying Christmas. Liza didn't answer him, she let the genius figure it out for himself. Which he did, immediately, when he lifted the mouthpiece and spoke into it. "Hello- holy shell."
He pulled the mouthpiece away from him and stared at the box, now confused instead of curious. Then his stare shifted to Liza. She smiled, tense and a little off.
"That's your voice," Don said. Liza nodded in agreement, even though Don said a statement. "Why is it your voice?"
"It's what Shredder uses on me during my harder training sessions," Liza answered, stilted. "If I'm going to show you what he showed me, you need all the pieces."
"Why does he use your voice?" Mikey asked. Liza clenched her jaw and inhaled slowly, uncomfortable with what she was about to say. Whatever that was. In a vain attempt to help I grabbed her hand, hoping to pass on silent comfort.
"Because you're your own worst critic. When I'm blindfolded, with only my ears, smell, and touch to guide me, hearing my own voice is like hearing it in my head. He digs, hits your weakest points, breaks you down, all the while throwing attacks at you from all directions. Eventually, everyone breaks, and if you want to survive, to not get hurt, you have to fight. And all that's left for you to use is instinct, reaction, and gut." Liza answered quietly. She looked over at the voice modulator in Don's hand when she finished, and even though Don still didn't quite like Liza, he turned it off and set it aside for her. She continued, "And that's when Shredder comes out, that's when he trains me."
"That's a lot of work to put into one person." Don murmured. Liza's cheek twitched, almost a smile but too stiff to be one, and she finally held my hand back.
"He does it with the others. I've seen it with Karai and the few with my social standing. It's his way of making us stronger, quicker." She explained briefly. She glanced over my three brothers before turning to see me. She looked sorry for a moment, and then she turned back to Don. "You need to make copies configured to your voices. I figured I should give you a blueprint."
"Thanks..." Don trailed off, his tone expressing anything but. "How soon do you need this back?"
"Morning. Before I leave." She answered. Don nodded easily to that time constraint, then he was up and off to his room to do exactly what Liza said. A quiet settled over us, which Mikey quickly broke with a yawn.
"Well, that made the mood somber. I'm going to my room." He told us once his yawn was finished. He stood up, gently set the controller down, and faced the three of us. "Liza, can I have a hug before I leave?"
Liza did smile now, still a little stiff but better. She let go of me in favor of my brother, and I sighed while Mikey twirled her in circles. Leo also set his controller down, which I guess meant we were done. That was fine by me, it meant time with Liza, not in the presence of family.
Leo and I stood up in unison as Mikey finally set Liza down. She was better about the twirls now and caught herself when she almost tipped, which was still a funny sight since Liza was usually extremely well balanced. Mikey wasn't at all affected by what he did, and he left for his room with only a wave to Leo and me. Leo waved back while I went around to Liza's side, a steady hand for her to hold on too. She leaned against me gratefully.
"Training is in the morning!" Leo said, loud enough for Mikey to definitely hear. He groaned from his spot on the stairs, and Leo smiled. He turned to me. "That goes for you too."
"Mornin', got it." I agreed unenthusiastically. Liza escaped from my grasp once she wasn't dizzy and made her way upstairs with only a quick kiss to my shoulder. Leo watched her go before he looked back at me.
"Be smart about your bedtime." He ordered. I squinted at him, not quite sure if he was teasing, insinuating something, or was serious. He, hopefully, would never know about my Night Watcher business, but this was one of those moments I wish I could tell him. I've survived my days without problem for two years now, with none the wiser to any of them. That included all practices that happened in the morning, even when I got home so late I had to pretend I woke up early.
"I'll try." I agreed sarcastically, instead of saying anything else I wanted to say. Leo rolled his eyes, which was my cue to escape.
I jogged my way up the stairs, away from anything Leo could pin against me and into my room. I don't know where I expected Liza to be, but my bed wasn't it. I wasn't going to complain though.
I closed the door behind me, and after a little deliberation, locked it. Liza looked at me when she heard the click and raised her good eyebrow. I shrugged while walking farther in, and a question popped up when I saw her other, scarred eyebrow.
"Can ya move yer other eyebrow?" I asked while I disarmed myself. Liza's eyebrows lifted in surprise before they fell, and now that I really looked, the one that was scarred, the one she usually always hid, didn't move as much. Her nose scrunched up in distaste and she fell back against the bed.
"Not a lot." She answered. She scooted when I came closer, a silent indication for me to join her. I sat down, but I didn't lay down. I reached over to tilt her face towards me, which she relented to after a few seconds of fighting me. When I shifted her hair away to see her better she didn't stop me. Instead, she closed her eyes.
I was familiar with the scar. It took up part of her forehead, eyebrow, and cheek, it was hard not to notice, and she used to have a habit of exposing it when she wanted to be scary. She didn't let me near it though, and always covered it when I was close. There were things I never knew, how her eyelid and eye were entirely untouched by scar tissue, and that the scar apparently screwed up muscle function. Don's interest in it the first time he met her now made a lot more sense.
I leaned over and pressed a kiss to her eyelid gently. I felt her cheek twitch beneath my lips in surprise, but she stayed still while I moved from her hairline to her nose. She lifted her head up to kiss me when I was low enough, and I shifted my attention to that.
"Thank you," I murmured in between movements, and Liza smiled against me. She shifted up, which forced me to follow, until we were both sitting, and then she moved her body around so she could push me down onto the bed. The mattress took the shape of my shell as I laid down, and Liza added to the compression by sitting on top of me. She leaned away from me to smile, completely genuine and with no stress from before. Instinctively, I returned it.
She laid on me now that I was down; she crossed her arms and placed her head on them, and she stared up at me from that position. Her eyes grazed my face for a moment, and then she reached up and tugged my mask off. She set it off to the side without looking, the movement so casual for her my heart warmed with joy and hope. I could see this, in the future. After Shredder and whatever other demons we had were gone. Moments as easy as breathing. All those movie scenes I thought were impossible for me were now entirely possible, and maybe even likely.
Before I got wrapped up in my fantasy of the future, Liza shifted up, loomed over me. She put all her weight on my stomach, which wasn't a problem, and searched my face. I didn't have to ask what she was doing, she immediately began touching the scars I had, more numerous than hers but less ugly in comparison. Fitting, truly, to be so interested in what I had. She didn't have as many on her face, none as far as I was aware, so I couldn't return the gesture. All of hers were under her clothes, which, while appealing to think about, likely wouldn't move tonight.
So I laid beneath Liza, careful not to move too much or let my mind wander too far while she touched my face, and then my neck and shoulders. When she scooted down to see my plastron, which had kinks and chips in it along with scars, I grabbed her legs, keeping her from moving. Liza stopped and looked at me, her head tilted in confusion.
"Be careful, uh... down there," I muttered, and I could feel the heat creep up my neck. Liza tilted her head even further, more confused. She glanced over her shoulder to see what I was talking about, and I heard a quiet 'oh' despite the fact nothing was there. I almost removed her completely then, but I held on.
Liza turned back to face me, mouth open to say something, but then she closed it with an audible snap. We stared at each other for lifetimes, and then Liza shifted back up. Air I didn't know I was holding escaped me, and I relaxed my grip on her thighs.
"How does it work?" She asked shyly. And the air that was escaping caught in my throat and reduced me to coughing. During which Liza looked at me wide-eyed, lost on what she was supposed to do. She had her hands up to grab me but she didn't know where, because how would she pat my back through a shell? She sat back when I waved at her, silently (well coughing) telling her I was fine.
"Uuuh," Now that I could breathe, my brain phased out for a second. I wasn't ready for this. No matter my dreams and ideas of Liza and me... that's all they were. Dreams and ideas. I didn't expect this to happen for a long time, maybe not even until the next mating season. Or never.
"It's inside." I finally got out. Liza's wide-eyed, concerned stare changed instantly into a 'no shit, Sherlock' face, and the shift was so easy for her it made me feel better. Somehow. I tried again. "It... comes out from a... hole."
Liza understood my discomfort after that, since it was so blatantly obvious I was hesitating to say anything. She nodded, and with an air of slight awkwardness, she went back to looking over my chest. She made sure she didn't shift down, and after a few minutes, I finally relaxed and just breathed.
"Thank you," Liza murmured, a repeat of me earlier. "Can I... sleep here?"
The grin that was forming disappeared as my eye ridges shot up my forehead. I looked at the door, then Liza, then my bed. I heard her tell Don to give back the voice modulator in the morning, but it didn't occur to me that meant she planned to sleep here.
"Yeah, of course, ya can. Do ya want me ta leave?" I asked, already bunching up the muscles I needed to move. Liza's hands came down on my chest and forced me back to the bed with surprising strength, and I oofed on landing.
"No. I won't kick you out of your room." She answered instantly. "I meant... can I sleep here... with you."
"Yes," I said before I thought about it. Not that I really needed to think about it. Sleeping with Liza was a domestic dream, one I almost got to act out that evening we stayed in Don's room. If it wasn't for the fact she was very bruised at the time. I won't turn down another opportunity.
"You know I mean actual sleep, right?" She asked, jesting. I snorted and rolled my eyes, and she grinned. "You said yes a bit too eagerly is all."
"I know. Actual sleep." I said, slowly, so she couldn't say anything about it. She raised her good eyebrow up, only to drop it immediately after. The muscles in her cheeks and forehead moved around weirdly for a moment before she gave up. I raised an eye ridge in return. "Did ya jus' try to move yer other eyebrow?"
"Shut up, it was worth a shot." She huffed.
We situated ourselves similarly to how we did in Don's bed, her cuddled up in the crook of my arm, except now I was a lot more comfortable and much less careful about her body. I made sure to set my alarm early, both for her and for me so neither of us got our butts handed over tomorrow, and then I settled into sleep, domestic dream come true.