The night was beautiful, with dustings of snow-covered grounds and apartment complexes that have yet to take down their Christmas lights. Well, it was as beautiful as you could get with smog in the air and garbage on the streets. There wasn't much crime this month, but I didn't think wintertime would be marked on a criminal's calendar. The cold air was off-putting, and you could get something numb or freeze while out and about. I was out for a run, jumping from building to building. I had the black outfit of BMT on to soak up warmth and to hide in shadows. It didn't help a lot in the cold air, but running helped. And so I ran. And ran.
Something hissed at me in the dark as I moved across the roof, and I skidded across the concrete floor. I turned on my heel, facing the dark shadows. I couldn't see in the dark because the red cloth over my eyes messed with my vision, but I could be on alert.
"Hello, Liza." Someone called out, appearing out of the dark. He had a heavy, ankle-length jacket, and a hat over his head to hide his face. His bare feet stepped around the patches of snow on the roof, avoiding them like his feet depended on it. I shuffled a little, wondering who it was. He looked up past the hat and I saw dark green skin and a red mask.
"Hey, Raph," I whispered behind my mask, walking towards him till I stood mere inches from him. "Long time no see."
Raph lifted his head a little more, showing me his smirk. I saw his arm move in my peripheral vision and nimble fingers slipped under my mask, pulling it off. Red fades to multiple colors, and I am staring at the half turtle I'd been successfully dating for four months.
"Much better." He murmured, setting my mask on the crown of my head. "Now…"
Raph stepped towards me, stepping so far forward I had to step back. He did it again another two times, and my back hit the cold brick wall. Raph wrapped his arms under my shirt, pressing his cold fingers against my heated sides. I flinched at the cold against my skin, tucking my arms in when Raph tried to get higher up.
"You're cold," I whined, keeping his hands from getting to my ribs. Goosebumps were tickling my skin, and Raph was still trying to get farther up. The cold of his chest soaked through my shirt as he pressed me into the wall so I was sandwiched between two cold walls.
"And yer warm." He said back. I fought for several more seconds, but Raph managed to wiggle his fingers past my arms. The cold fingers splayed over my ribs in triumph, and he smiled at me under his hat. I reached one of my hands up to tilt his hat as far back as I dared.
I stared at him, grimacing as his fingers ran over the sensitive skin of my ribs. To distract myself, I pulled his mouth to mine. I curled one of my hands around his warmish neck and slid my other between what space there was between us, pushing his heavy jacket to the side to get to the hard plate of bone. I ran my index finger down his plastron, testing to see how far I could get. I felt him growl silently as I got lower, to the edge of his plastron.
"Liza." He growled, pressing me harder against the wall. My arm got trapped between us, and I felt one of his hands pull from under my shirt and slip to find it. His hand trailed down towards my hand, gripping my wrist tightly. He pulled my hand up and I stared dully into his eyes. When he finally let go of my arm I wrapped it around his neck and parted from his lips. I pulled my head back, staring up at Raph.
"How are you?" I whispered. Raph shivered from the cold at his back, resting his head on my shoulder. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me forwards slightly. My hip pressed against Raph's enclosed arousal, which I hadn't been aware of until now. So that was why he didn't let me try anything, even though I hadn't seen him since the day after New Years'. Which reminds me, we shouldn't be doing this on a roof. I should pull Raph's hat lower on his head, because if anyone saw us, that would be a very bad thing.
"Never been better. And ya?" He asked, rubbing his pelvic bone against mine, using one of his arms to lift me a little so he could get between my legs. The new angle created better friction, and I tried to focus through the still new feeling. I gasped as warmth flooded my veins, fighting against the cold I felt otherwise. No, can't get distracted.
"Same." I gasped, pressing my fingers harder into his skin. Raph reached down, grabbing one of my thighs and pulling it against his side. "Ah, Raph?"
"Hm?" He hummed, moving his hips slowly.
"We shouldn't do this-" I froze, biting my lip when Raph nipped at my neck with his teeth. He left the spot open to the cold air, and what liquid fell from his teeth seemed to freeze on my neck. "Outside."
Raph stopped, and I could almost hear his focus change as he listened for things my human ears couldn't pick up. He lowered my leg to the ground and stepped away from the wall. He adjusted the hat on his head while his eyes and ears searching for someone.
"There's a manhole in the alley." He murmured. He motioned to the edge of the building before taking the lead. He didn't hesitate to jump over the edge, but I paused to see the distance. Raph fell five stories and landed silently on the snow-covered ground. There was a fire escape across from this house, and under it was a large garbage bin. I would've taken the fire escape for safety, but obviously Raph didn't care since he had a better body capable of handling worse things.
I twirled over the edge, falling the height of half a hundred feet. Now I did a lot of crazy stuff in my time, but falling fifty feet without anything to slow me down was not one of them. Raph was at the bottom of the fifty foot drop, and he eased my landing by grabbing me from the air.
"Thanks," I whispered, getting set down on the ground gingerly. Raph smiled at me, motioning to the garbage bin. I looked at the standard green bin with its company logo faded on its front. It had clean wheels though, like they were used regularly.
"There's a manhole under here." Raph told me, stepping around me and shouldering the bin. Sure enough, clear of snow and a dirty shade of grey, was a manhole. I crouched down, plucking my fingers into the hole of the lid. I heaved the metal disk up, having to scrap it on the concrete to get it off. "Ya could have asked me ta do it."
"No. Cause you gotta go in first," I said, leaving the hole open for Raph. He looked at me under his hat, and then at the roofs above us. I also look up, searching for someone. I was greeted with a smog filled sky, but no one was looking down at us. Raph jumped down the hole, tucking his arms in since it was hard enough already with his shell. I could hear a light scraping sound and wondered what and how he would get out if he grew more. How did Donnie get out and in without hurting his shell? He was pushing 6'3" now.
Raph hit the ground under the manhole and hissed at me quietly. I jumped down the hole, not needing to do any of the precautions Raph does cause I was smaller. Raph caught me when I landed, and reached over me to scrap the metal disk back in place. We were safer, but we weren't completely safe. Completely safe would be his home.
"Why can't we jus' be a normal couple?" Raph lamented, taking his hat off. I raised an eyebrow at him, hoping he was being rhetorical.
"Uh, Raph?" I began. Raph looked at me, his eyes a light brown color tonight. Perhaps it was the lighting that made his eyes that color, because I'd never seen them that shade before. "When you signed up for this, um... relationship. You did realize that normal wasn't going to be part of the contract?"
He chuckled, placing the hat on my head. It was too large for me; it fell into my eyes and halfway down my nose. I tilted it backward, and could only get it to my brow before it risked falling off my head.
"Yeah, I knew tha'. I meant I wish I could do wha' normal couples do outside. No worries or need to hide. No fear about bein' seen, or caught by the police." He murmured. I smile softly, walking the short distance between us. Raph followed me with his eyes, and when I tugged the sides of his bridge down he leaned forwards. I peck his nose softly before pressing my forehead to his. He stayed staring in my eyes, but I felt one of his arms creep around my waist.
There's was shuffle behind me, like someone skidding while trying to run. I turned around, ducking down for the new weapon tucked in my boot. A black body was running, and a red foot soldier emblem was on his left breast. I raised my weapon from my boot, leveling it with the running body. My hand and arm jerked backward with the backfire, and the vibrations of sound were loud enough that my ears were left ringing.
"Ow!" Raph shouted from behind me, jerking away from me. The running ninja dropped, grabbing his thigh. The bullet didn't hit him, but it glanced off of his leg. I shook my hand out, rubbing away from the pain the backfire brought. "What the shell, Liza? Ya can't jus' shoot a gun outta nowhere. What if that's Haley?"
"Haley wouldn't run," I grumbled, walking up to the downed ninja. His masked face looked up at me, but if I had to guess, he was indifferent to having been shot. It was part of the training back when I started. Shredder discovered his ninjas were becoming cowardice like the Purple Dragons, and so he taught them to not fear death. This was probably one of the people right before me; he was still breathing normally. Anyone else, including myself, would have breathed hard while staring down the barrel of a gun after getting grazed.
"Traitor." He spat at me, cupping his thigh with both of his hands. "You're fucking a mutant."
I tilted my head left a little, giving him a dull look. These were the kills I didn't care about. These were the moments I could see why I was able to do it before. One last bad thing, one last person who would have never spared the innocent, and so I didn't spare them.
"Why does everyone assume we've had sex?" I asked aloud to nobody, before lifting my gun.
"Liza, no-" Raph started, and stopped when the gunshot rang loud and clear again. The man fell back, a well placed bullet in his head. "What the Hell!"
I looked at the gun in my hands, tapping the barrel to see if it was heated before I put it back in my shoe. I turned around to Raph, who was holding the sides of his head where his ears would be. He looked at me with surprise, and then at the gun in my hands.
"Where did ya even get a gun?" He asked loud enough his voice echoed.
"I found it on a Purple Dragon a while ago and figured I should keep it on me if something like this happened." I murmured, clicking the magazine out to check the bullets. Satisfied they were still good, I snapped the magazine back into place and clicked the safety on. I bent over, placing it back in my boot. Raph's mouth dropped, and he waved at the bleeding body behind me.
"What the... fudge!" He said, trying not to cuss. I smiled at his trade for the cuss word, looking at the body. "Ya can't jus' go shootin' people."
"Are you seriously backing that man up? He was going to go to Shredder and tell him what he saw. I'm under guard watch, and that, Raph, was one of my guards." I shot back, quieter than him. Raph puffed his cheeks out, his eyes on fire.
"Ya could have run, I could have run at him. Who knows, maybe he would have been another Haley?" He said, stepping closer to me.
"I've never met that man before. I never trained him, and he was here before I was. There was no changing his loyalty." I corrected him. I furrowed my brows, a thought coming over me. Raph was the least sensitive to me killing people. "Why are you so against me killing him?"
"Because he couldn't have been the only one in these tunnels. He's the first one ta find us, and tha' gunshot echoed. Anyone in these tunnels will know what it was." He answered.
"But they don't know who it was. We're fine." I responded.
"No, we aren't, because we're right next to a four-way intersection. They'll see us and have three ways to run. There's only two of us. That gun put us in more danger than that man did." Raph hissed. My jaw snapped closed at that. Raph stared at me, his eyes a fire of brown. His red mask matched the red heat of worry and anger in him, and I had to concede to a point.
"I panicked," I admitted quietly. Raph pulled back in surprise.
"Ya panicked?" He parroted.
"Yeah. I heard a shuffle, and my instant reaction was to end whatever created the sound. I grabbed the nearest weapon, and it happened to be a gun." I explained sheepishly.
"Don' ya have that dagger?" He asked, and he motioned to the sheath I had for the dagger in the hem of my pants. I shrugged, pulling said dagger out.
"Yeah, I do. But a dagger doesn't come near to the damage a bullet can do over a distance of 20 feet." I answered. I shrugged again, tucking the dagger back into its spot. Raph shook his head, lifting one corner of his mouth in an attempt of a smile. He looked at the body again, and he sighed.
"I hope this is over soon. I hate havin' to hide behind this kind of stuff and doin' stuff like that." Raph said, motioning to the ankle-length coat he had and then at the body. I chuckled, stepping up to him. I took the hat off my head, putting it back on his. Raph tipped the hat back, smiling at me, less shaken but still tense.
"Well first I'm going to have to phone in a murder, but after that, let's find someplace where you can take that stuff off." I murmured, offering my hand. Raph looked between it and me a few times. He rolled his eyes and took my offered hand.
He fell into step beside me, making sure to walk a little slower to compensate for the half a foot height difference. I fiddled with his fingers, bending the three of them this way and that to test how they could move. Raph didn't disapprove my playing, and every time I got one of my fingers in his palm he'd clamp his hand shut. I would then spend a minute or two trying to get my finger out of his grip. It was harder than with another person because he had tiny scales and he didn't sweat unless under high temperatures. It was cold down here, and as I walked I felt my thighs starting to get cold against my pants.
"Where are we?" I asked, glancing around to the unfamiliar halls. Raph looked around, clamping his hand around my middle finger and pinky. My ring finger bent back awkwardly, and I grimaced.
"We're in the main sewer pipe. Ya don' recognize the place?" Raph asked, relaxing his hand enough that my pinky was free. I cursed in my head, because the middle finger was the hardest for me to release.
"I don't take the main sewer pipes. Shredder's Cronies hang out here. They take the main pipes because the small circuits are hard to map out." I answered. I twisted my finger, feeling the lowest knuckle move in its socket. I pulled, grabbing at Raph's wrist to hold it in place.
"That explains why we ran into tha' guy back there," He murmured, pushing into me to take a side path. I stumble a little and Raph let go of my finger to grab me. He pulled me towards him to stop my fall and I landed hard against his shoulder. Raph flinched and he grabbed his shoulder, rubbing the spot slowly.
"Are you okay?" I asked, stopping where I stood. Raph shrugged it off, but I remembered. Just a few minutes ago, when I first shot the gun, Raph had shouted ow. I thought it was from the sudden sound, but what if the bullet ricocheted off the ground and somehow bounced back to Raph? Maybe he felt it but didn't think twice about it because there hadn't been an entry wound. "What is it?"
"It's the scar ya gave me," Raph muttered, rubbing the spot. I frowned deeply as I looked at his shoulder. That was so long ago, four going on five months now. It still hurt him? "It's like yer pipe scar on yer stomach. Completely healed, but still sensitive and sore sometimes. The cold makes it worse."
"Let me see." I murmured, stepping up to him. Raph tried batting my hands off but I was persistent. I pushed the heavy jacket off his arm, baring the cool skin to the cold air. His skin prickled like goosebumps would, and he shivered a little. The scar on his arm, I completely forgot it. He'd had it for so long, and I barely remembered before he had it, that it was now just a part of him. I run my thumb over the pink scar, remembering thinking that this turtle was crazy for pressing me against the wall like we were lovers. Turns out there had been something, but I hadn't known.
"I hate it," I whispered honestly, looking up at the hooded face of Raph. He cocked his head to the side in confusion. "I hate that I hurt you, emotionally and physically. I hate that I wasn't there when you needed me most."
"Liza." Raph started. I felt a sweltering amount of guilt as I fingered the scar, a guilt entirely different from what I usually felt. This was alive and aware, something I couldn't brush aside because it was attached to a person I wanted to be around.
"I hate that you were a turtle," I continued, and Raph pulled back, looking at me perplexed. "I hate that you live in the sewers. I hate that Leo banished me..."
"Liza," Raph said, a little sterner. "Wha'..."
I run my thumb over the scar again, straining my brain for what his arm looked like before the amnesia. Raph grabbed my wrist, running his thumb over the back of my hand.
"Elizabeth." He said, suddenly soft. I stared at the familiar green hand. The green was always familiar. I don't know what it was about him, but everything about Raph reminded me of a recurring dream with a faceless person. You knew what you were looking at, you knew what it would do, you felt every emotion surrounding it, but you couldn't grab the missing link to make it all tie together.
"Did you know, that even with amnesia... I feel like I should know you from somewhere. The night I gave you this scar, I felt like I knew who you were. And I wanted to ask, but training is hard to overcome when its all you know." I whispered.
"Wha'?" Raph breathed. He placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head to look at him. I stared into his hazel brown eyes, and felt an overwhelming need to talk.
"That first time you kissed me, in your house on the stairs, and I pulled away... I was nervous. I'd lost everything to a train crash that was still new to me; my family, my home, my future. And you were this... person who just shined with those three things. I hated that I loved you. Because I knew I was going to come back. It might be a few days, it might be a few months, but I knew it was going to happen. I was always going to return." I explained, open and almost painful. Raph's eyes lit up at that, and he smiled.
"I know I don't say it and that I don't show it, but I do miss you. I miss the goofing off we do. The little spars, the teasing of the others, the goofing off we do in a bed or when we're alone... Every time I have to leave the bed, or leave the house, I detest every step I take. I hate it, because I don't know when I'm coming back." I continued. Raph's smile grew wider, and he released my forearm to wrap an arm around me in a hug.
"But the thing I always miss the most, is kissing. Especially those soft ones that no brute should know how to do. But you do them, and you do heated ones. You do slow, and-" Raph ducked his head, silencing me with his mouth.
"All of this because of a scar?" He asked.
"I feel guilty, and all of you keep throwing it down. Just because you guys forgive me doesn't mean I do." I murmured quietly. Raph slid his mouth along my cheek, brushing up to my scar. He'd taken a liking to kissing the scar, which was a large insecurity of mine before him. In the Shredder's Lair it was a great way to be imposing and dangerous looking, but around people I'm trying to be friends with someone it's a hindrance. Raph acted like it was a conveniently placed kissing booth.
"What will we need ta do to get rid of that guilt?" He asked. I smiled, pushing him back so I could stare at him fully once more.
"What will help me, is killing Shredder," I answered almost cheerily. Raph's eye ridges rose in surprise. I pulled his jacket back up to his shoulder, and peeked around him to see if anyone was watching. I was surprised I didn't and wondered if the gunshot made anyone in the sewers run away. Maybe it was too cold. I couldn't feel my thighs and my toes were hurting from the cold, no one in their right mind would wander around at night in January.
"Ya know, I don' listen too much ta Leo, but I do with Master Splinta. Both of them say revenge can only quell the emotion ya feel, but not get rid of it." He told me cooly. I smiled at him, standing on my toes and planting a kiss on his breastbone.
"It's not revenge I'm going for." I shot down. Raph looked at me questioningly. "I want to kill him for your safety. You, Mikey, Leo, Donnie, Splinter, April, Casey, Haley, and anyone else that's had the misfortune to know him. It's my job to kill the bad guys, and I'm hoping Shredder is my retirement pay. Though if I can get a few bonus bucks with Hun and Karai I won't complain."
"So yer not doin' it for revenge, yer doin' it for yer job. How does guilt fit into that equation?" Raph asked. I smiled against his breast-plate.
"I feel guilty because I hurt the innocent," I answered. Raph's face dawned with realization. "You, Leo, Mikey, and several others faced my hand. You all got out alive, but you're all scarred. Because of me. Because I did what I swore to kill, and that is hurt the innocent."
"I see now," Raph said quietly. He looked down at the ground, forlorn in my grief. I furrowed my brows at him.
"Hey now, I'm the one supposed to be sad," I whispered, reaching up to pinch Raph's chin in my fingers and make him look at me. "And, we still have a murder to phone in once we get back to your place. We shouldn't dawdle for too long."
"Do ya think you'll ever consider it a home for yerself?" Raph asked curiously. A thoughtful look covered my face. Huh, Raph's place as my place. It was my temporary home before the amnesia. The scar in my arm was a testimony to why I went there, but not why I stayed. I stayed beyond the required healing time, and Leo obviously didn't like me there, so why did I stay for so long? I liked to think they fascinated me, and I wanted to study them. Science was my favored subject in school, and what better way to study science than with a cross specie biped? You don't find many bipeds who are a cross between two species like a Liger or Grolar Bear. But, I had a feeling the reason I stayed was for something we'll never remember.
"Maybe. I expect I will. I've integrated you four so far into my life I don't think I couldn't survive alone again." I answered. Raph smiled widely, like that was a happy thought to him.
"Ok." He murmured. His heart under my arm started speeding up. He was happy, he was really happy about that. I've dated him for four months and made no mention of leaving him after killing Shredder, why didn't he assume that I'd hang at his place? Live at his place, whatever it was I was going to do. It felt obvious now that it was said out loud.
"Ok." I parroted, and I let go of his chin. I was officially numb halfway up my body, and their home from the main sewers was a five-minute speed walk. "Now can we continue walking? I'm sure we're both extremely cold, and I think this'll be the first time I'm the one undressing you."
A/n: I'm fixing up this story to change all the little problems I've had for the last few years, while at the same time trying to keep the original writing in place. As someone who has gotten better at writing dirty, every chapter that is supposed to be naughty makes me cringe so hard. All I want to do is rewrite them completely, but I can't. It hurts me so much.