Chapter Summary: Shaun wakes up the next morning and reminisces about the difficulties of Lea's pregnancy.
AN: In this story, Dr. Park's family moved to San Jose. Also, just a reminder, reviews and feedback are welcome :)
After crying himself to sleep the night before and forgetting about Lea's traumatizing death for awhile, Shaun painfully recalled it all over again when he woke up with a slight pounding in his head. He couldn't remember how long he had slept, so he grabbed his phone from the coffee table to verify the time.
It read 12:33 pm.
He additionally noticed a few texts not only from Dr. Glassman and Debbie, but also from Claire, Morgan, Carly, Dr. Park, Dr. Lim, Dr. Andrews, and even Jared sending their condolences and paying their respects.
DR. GLASSMAN: Shaun, just text me if you change your mind and want me to come stay with you, okay. Also, please get some sleep and shower. Please take care of yourself. Let me know when you want us to bring Nell back. If you need more time alone, that's okay. Debbie and I can keep watching Nell.
DEBBIE: Nell misses you, but she is doing fine right now. She's been fed and changed and is now sleeping. I hope you're doing okay, though.
CLAIRE: How are you holding up? If there is anything I can do to help - clean, cook, or watch Nell - just let me know.
MORGAN: How are you doing? How is Eleanor doing? I hope you're both doing okay.
CARLY: I just heard about what happened to Lea. I'm so sorry, Shaun. My heart - both my actual heart and my heart tattoo - goes out to you and Eleanor.
DR. PARK: I'm so sorry for your loss, Shaun. If you need help with anything, Mia, Kellan, and I are happy to give it.
DR. LIM: Please accept my deepest and heartfelt condolences. You're also welcome to ask me for some help. Being a single parent isn't going to be easy.
DR. ANDREWS: Hey, Shaun. How are you holding up? Just know that you are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you and your little girl in your time of sorrow.
JARED: I just heard from Morgan about your girlfriend. I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you and your daughter the best.
Although Shaun had observed Debbie's text about Nell's well-being, he still felt the need to send a text to Dr. Glassman asking him about her.
SHAUN: How is Nell? Is she still alive and breathing? Is she showing any signs of a fever? When was the last time she was fed, changed, and burped? Did you remember tummy time? You're also putting her to sleep on her back, right?
Less than two seconds later, Dr. Glassman texted him back.
DR. GLASSMAN: Nell is just fine and she is still alive, and she is showing no signs of a fever. She was fed and burped about 45 minutes ago and was changed like less than 10 minutes ago. And yes, we did remember tummy time and we are putting her to sleep on her back. We do know that. We're aware of the pediatrician-recommended guidelines. She hasn't fallen on her soft spot either. Don't worry, everything is fine and under control. But most importantly, how are you doing? I hope you got a good rest? Again, let me know if you need anything.
Shaun texted his mentor back, telling him he was fine before finally deciding to get cleaned up.
Once Shaun walked into the bathroom, he noticed his full set of facial hair - sideburns, mustache, and beard - in the mirror reflection, so he clearly needed a good shave. He was starting to look like a 19th century man in 21st century clothing.
When he stepped into the shower, he didn't bother to set any of the daily alarms on his phone. After Nell was born, he temporarily shut those off so the loud ringing wouldn't wake her up and so the annoying, repetitive noises wouldn't disturb him and Lea while they were trying to get the very little sleep they were getting and make them crankier than they needed to be.
As Shaun showered, he mostly just stood there in utter numbness and stared straight at the tiny, clear water droplets that were dripping down the ceramic walls and see-through door. A calming and relaxing sensation, he allowed the warm water to fall down onto his head and shoulders and flow down his back.
He and Lea often showered together, especially during her third trimester when her chances of slipping in the shower had increased. Sometimes, he would use the water sprouting out from the showerhead as a soothing back massager for her to ease her intolerable back pain.
It was the middle of May, and Shaun and Lea were a week overdue from becoming parents. Lea sure as hell hoped it would be happening in a week or less because if her labor didn't start by the end of the week, she was going to need to be induced. Most of all, she was so done with being pregnant.
She's tried everything she could to get this baby to come: taking long walks, exercise, red raspberry leaf tea, nipple stimulation, sex, and even eating spicy foods despite Shaun's recommendation against it.
Since the onset of her third trimester, Lea had been enduring added hip, lower back, leg, and round ligament pain as well as sciatica.
Furthermore, instead of walking the way she normally used to, she was waddling like a penguin.
Before her pregnancy, it was typically Shaun who would have trouble catching Zs while Lea would be the one blissfully sleeping like a log. Now that Lea was heavily pregnant, the situation would either be the total opposite or both of them struggling to fall asleep. Right now, Shaun was in a peaceful slumber while Lea was extremely uncomfortable as she strived to fall asleep.
She desperately wanted to sleep, but the Braxton Hicks and the baby constantly on the move were a distraction. For the past few months, her womb has gotten even more crowded in there for the baby. Dr. Garcia told her that meant the placenta was still passing nutrients and giving oxygen to the fetus. Lea just didn't like that it had to be so uncomfortable.
As much as Lea occasionally loved to feel her baby kick and nudge, there were times she wished they would just give it a rest with the "hello" jabs. To make things worse, she felt like she had a bowling ball strapped to her midsection that was crushing her insides. The baby was squashing her bladder, making her need to pee frequently and until a few weeks ago before finally dropping lower into her pelvis, the baby had been pushing her lungs upward making it difficult to take a breath. Sometimes, the baby's foot would find itself lodged under Lea's ribcage.
Relaxing felt almost impossible due to having to pee frequently, the midnight leg cramps, the heartburn, and just being super uncomfortable. Plus - swollen feet and ankles, hemorrhoids, congestion, lightning crotch, constipation, not being able to reach anything below her waist, sciatic nerve pain, itching, stretchmarks, Braxton Hicks, nausea, headaches, and worst of all, the nosy strangers who thought it was totally appropriate to touch her belly or give her unsolicited advice - Lea was so ready to be through.
Right next to Lea, Shaun was fast asleep. She tossed and turned all night as she tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in.
Lea just wished to be sedated so she could ignore her aches, pains, and general discomfort. She was always a stomach sleeper, but she couldn't lie down like that anymore, let alone on her back. All she could do now these days was sleep on her side surrounded by pillows; between her knees, under her belly, and behind her back.
She couldn't take it anymore. She started crying, whimpering, moaning, and groaning in agonizing frustration. "Oh, god! Make it stop!"
"Lea, are you okay? Is the baby coming?" Shaun, half-asleep, sputtered calmly as he jolted awake.
"No, but I wish," Lea whimpered and groaned in defeat. "I just can't sleep!"
"Are you in pain?" Shaun, now fully awake, asked with concern.
Lea rolled her eyes at Shaun, completely aware that he was going to be fixated on this. He was always perturbed.
"Yes," sniffed Lea, wiping a tear from her face. "I just want to sleep! I want this baby to be born already!"
"What hurts the most?" Shaun prodded, longing to give her comfort and make the pain stop.
Lea sighed in frustration. "My back."
"Would you like me to run the shower over your back?" He offered, knowing that it usually helped with her pain.
"Yes."
With one hand, Shaun waved the running showerhead over the lumbar region of Lea's back. He rubbed her shoulder with the other. Lea breathed heavily as she felt the soothing sensation of warm water trickle down onto her aching back.
Both of them were completely naked in the shower of their bathroom, which was now looking different than it was last month. In their separate bathtub, there was a grey bath mat shaped like a whale they had bought weeks ago; it was meant to prevent dangerous slips and falls. There was also a grey elbow saver on the edge and grey bath kneeler also shaped like a whale to the side; those were meant to act as cushions while they would bathe the baby. Over the bath faucet, there was a grey bath spout cover that was also shaped like a whale. Perched on their sink counter was an infant bathtub. Their bathroom was certainly prepared for the baby.
"Thank you, Shaun," Lea sighed inaudibly, pressing her hands against the ceramic walls. "I just want this pregnancy to be over!"
"Babe," Shaun lathered the soap bar over his girlfriend's exposed shoulder blades and wrapped an arm around her pregnant belly. "The baby will eventually come out whether it happens naturally or not. It won't stay in there forever, so by a maximum, you only have one more week left of this."
"I know," sighed Lea, leaning forward against the walls of the shower. "I just want this baby out of me now! And, I want to have sex after this."
"Do you want to have sex because you want an orgasm to distract you or do you want to have sex to try inducing labor?" Shaun questioned, definitely in the mood for sex right now if Lea was. Recently, they've been using sex and foreplay as a distraction from her aches and pains by bringing her to orgasm. He told her that an early 20th century book actually once advised doctors to put pressure on the clitoris to ease pain and help deliver the baby.
"Both," replied Lea, giggling seductively. "And because we're both completely naked, I'm kind of feeling turned on right now."
Despite her pain, Lea really did appreciate Shaun's comfort throughout the past nine months. So far, he has been very good at handling her and her hormones. He would massage her back, rub her swollen feet, practice breathing exercises with her, cook for her, and provide her manicures and pedicures. She hated to admit it, but she enjoyed being pampered like this. And embarrassingly, while she would sit on the toilet suffering from constipation, he would kneel right next to her and let her squeeze his hand while she tried to make a bowel movement; sometimes "rehearsing" labor.
He was going to be a good father.
Shaun thought about the hell Lea had gone through as he got out of the shower before he started to shave his face and brush his teeth.
She had a rather difficult pregnancy. She had terrible morning sickness and at 16 weeks pregnant, she was diagnosed and hospitalized for hyperemesis gravidarum. At 24 weeks pregnant, she was tested positive for gestational diabetes. At 32 weeks pregnant, it was confirmed that the baby was in a complete breech position. At 36 weeks pregnant, the baby still hadn't turned around and in order to avoid a c-section, their obstetrician performed an EVC and although it was successful, it was also very painful for Lea. She also had to have her labor induced and it was also an extremely difficult and harrowing labor and delivery.
Even at six weeks postpartum, they still couldn't catch a break after all the hell Lea suffered for nine months.
Once he finished shaving his face and brushing his teeth, he sent Dr. Glassman a text saying that he still needed some time alone.
Mourning the death of the mother of his child wasn't how Shaun pictured spending his paternity leave at all.