Chapter Summary: One week after Lea's death, Shaun finally snaps and realizes that he needs help. He also remembers when Lea reached a breaking point of her own early on in her pregnancy.
AN: Part of this chapter does contain things from Lea's POV in the flashbacks because I did want to really show how the pregnancy impacted her, especially morning sickness. It also contains mostly flashbacks. Also, I just realized that I forgot about Aoki because she hasn't made an appearance since the Season 3 premiere. Again, a reminder. I will accept any feedback.
Morning sickness didn't hit Lea until a week after she found out she was pregnant, which was when she was six weeks along. Drained and exhausted, this past week had been her vs. her digestive system. She was convinced that her own body hated her and secretly wanted her to die. She would often find herself crouched next to the toilet, feeling like she would never stop throwing up.
She particularly abhorred the metallic taste in her mouth, tasting like she had been sucking pennies and nickels in her sleep. Besides nausea and vomiting, she was also moody, fatigued, feeling faint, constipated, spotting, and dealing with headaches, sore breasts, and darkened areolas. But she tried to go with the flow and look on the bright side.
"Just think of the little bundle of joy you and Shaun will be holding in your arms," she said to herself. "They say it's all going to be worth it."
Besides peanut butter with everything, à la mode on ice cream and pancakes or dipping for chips and other snacks, most of Lea's pregnancy cravings so far weren't that strange. Funny thing, some of her pregnancy food aversions were the exact same aversions that Shaun always had such as pickles and coffee.
Lea came to the conclusion that the baby was already almost just like their father. And speaking of Shaun, he hated seeing his girlfriend like this. He wished he could make her morning sickness disappear with a magic wand.
Lea was feeling like crap this morning, so she called in sick. She didn't have the strength to get out of bed until 11:00 am. She felt so nauseous all day that she ended up throwing up in the bathroom and then lying in bed for the rest of the day, desperately hoping it would stop for more than one hour.
She continued to spew chunks until there was nothing left to throw up, but her stupid body decided to keep on trying anyway. Her throat was sore from the dry-heaving.
She couldn't even eat the nice breakfast Shaun fixed for her before he left for his shift. She was in tears by the time he came home from work.
"How can I survive seven more months of this?" Lea moaned to Shaun as he walked through the door and closed it behind him.
Shaun sat down right next to Lea and placed his hand on her still-flat belly. He wasn't precisely sure how he should answer that question, so he just stayed silent for a while, thinking he should probably just comfort her.
"Would it make you feel better if I rubbed your back?" He offered nervously, hoping he said the right thing.
"I would appreciate that, thank you," Lea replied sweetly before turning over, wanting to enjoy the time she had left to be able to lie on her stomach. "Anyway, that was a rhetorical question."
"Is the morning sickness intolerable? Is it too much for you?" Shaun asked sympathetically as he ran his hands along Lea's back.
"It sucks," Lea sighed in defeat. "No matter how many times I brush my teeth, I can't get rid of the taste of puke. So, I don't think you'll want to kiss me."
Shaun continued to massage Lea's back for a couple of minutes before he offered her some solutions.
"You might want some extra new toothbrushes because your current toothbrush is now probably tainted by the taste and smell of vomit from you frequently using it, which is probably why you can't get rid of the taste of puke no matter how many times you brush your teeth," explained Shaun. "I bought saltines, herbal tea, and peppermints on my way home. A few studies and a lot of personal anecdotes have shown that they can be helpful remedies for morning sickness."
"Thank you," sniffled Lea with grace and gratitude. "I just don't know how I'm going to get through this hell."
"You can also avoid taking your prenatal vitamins on an empty stomach, eat slowly in small amounts every two hours, eat low-fat foods, and drink plenty of fluids," Shaun suggested, trying to be helpful.
"Okay, I'm having issues with my prenatal vitamins," Lea grumbled in defeat, turning around to face Shaun. "Those pills the doctor gave me are too damn big for me to swallow, especially when I'm already feeling queasy. I don't know how I'm going to provide nutrients for our baby when I can't even swallow a damn pill?"
"We can switch to chewable gummies instead. They're a much better alternative, so I also picked those up," informed Shaun. "They also contain folic acid, so you won't have to take a separate folic acid supplement."
"Thank you, Shaunie," Lea muttered softly, enjoying the soothing back rub from her boyfriend.
Shaun woke up around 1:00 am to the sound and sight of Lea getting out of bed and racing out of their room to the bathroom. This was going to be their routine for a while.
He got up out of bed and then walked to the bathroom to meet with Lea, who was down to her knees on the floor, leaning her head against the toilet seat.
He grabbed a hair tie from her hair accessory organizer that was sitting on the bathroom sink and then gently tied her hair into a ponytail before he crouched down behind her, embracing her in his arms.
Lea continued to vomit as Shaun ran his fingers through her tangled hair and traced gentle circles around her back.
He didn't say a word, but Lea didn't care; the physical comfort was all she wanted and needed right now.
It has officially been a week and one day since Lea died. Her funeral took place yesterday, and her body was being transferred back to her hometown of Hershey. She was going to be buried with her father and paternal grandparents, one of whom Nell is named after.
Donnie, Virginia, Dr. Glassman, Debbie, Claire with her boyfriend, Morgan, Dr. Park with Mia and Kellan, Dr. Lim, Dr. Andrews with Isabel, Aoki, Carly with her fiancé, Dr. Garcia, some of Lea's other distant relatives, and even a few St. Bonaventure employees that barely even talked to Lea all attended her funeral. Shaun, on the other hand, did not want to attend her funeral. His colleagues and superiors endeavored to help him with things, but he continued to decline and claim he could handle everything on his own.
There were so many reasons he wasn't in the mood: the funeral was held at 9:00 in the morning and that didn't feel like a good time when he was sleep-deprived, he had a newborn at home he needed to take care of, he didn't want to have to make small talk with any of Lea's relatives, he couldn't tolerate putting up with Lea's mother, he didn't want to deal with a disruptive baby during the whole thing, he didn't have the energy to write a poetic eulogy, he couldn't bear to look at Lea's corpse again, he didn't want to be scrutinized by Lea's relatives for not "grieving properly", and he wasn't in the mood for a bunch of hugs and handshakes. Most of all, he just couldn't handle it. He remembered how hard it was to survive the funerals of Steve and Dr. Melendez, so he didn't know if he would be able to survive Lea's. Sitting through the whole thing was going to be too painful for him and writing her obituary was hard enough.
When Shaun made up his mind that he didn't want to attend, Dr. Glassman and everyone else who knew him well were completely understanding and supportive of his choice. Donnie was understanding as well, telling him that everyone deserves to grieve in their own way without judgment. However, Shaun was pretty convinced that Virginia and some of Lea's other relatives who flew in from Pennsylvania were going to perceive him as a heartless robot because of it.
Right now, while a seven-week-old Nell was sound asleep in Shaun's room, Shaun found himself staring melancholically at Lea's signed baseball in its glass box perched on the dining room table as he tightly clutched Steve's plastic scalpel with both of his hands. Those two objects - the scalpel and the baseball - were given to him by deceased loved ones who always had his back no matter what, loved ones who knew him better than anyone else.
Despite Donnie's reminder (and everyone else's) that Lea's death wasn't his fault in any way, Shaun couldn't help but still remember Virginia's hateful words towards him, reminding him of his father's vile last words to him. He couldn't help but feel angry at the universe for Lea's death and kind of angry with himself for not noticing her symptoms sooner.
Shaun didn't want her to be buried six feet under in Hershey, he didn't want her to go to Heaven, he didn't want her to go to Hell, and he didn't want her to be reincarnated. He wanted her to be here; right here, alive and breathing, raising their daughter alongside him. He wanted Lea to be there to see Nell crawl and take her first steps, to hear her first word, to drop her off and pick her up on her first day of school, to see her graduate high school, and to watch her grow up; but that wasn't happening.
"It's not fair!" He cried, slapping the sides of his head and roaring at the ceiling as if he was yelling at God. "Why did Lea have to be one of the rare statistics? Why did one seizure have to kill her? Why couldn't she be saved? Why did this have to happen at all?"
In intense anger and distress, Shaun picked up Lea's signed baseball and then threw it across the room, the glass box loudly shattering into numerous pieces as it hit the wall and floor. The baseball was out like a genie out of a bottle.
For a few more seconds, he then continued to destroy other things in his surroundings as if he was in a rage room.
He instantly regretted it once he heard Nell crying, woken up by all of the commotion. He was glad she didn't see it though because Shaun would never want to her to see him like this. Destroying things in anger was not like him.
He then assessed the damage he had done. It wasn't too bad, but he was still ashamed. There were a few broken plates and cups, all of them had belonged to Lea before she moved in. Her favorite rearview painting of an aardvark had been knocked off the shelf. The surfboard had fallen over and the decorative stars had been ripped from the wall. Some of his medical journals were lying limply on the floor. However, most of his attention was on the damage he had done to Lea's parting gift to him, the thing she gave him to remember her by before she left for Hershey to fulfill her dream. He couldn't imagine how Lea would react to this.
What have I done? What am I doing? He thought to himself, pressing his hands against the sides of his head before collapsing to the floor and sobbing.
As Nell was still crying, Shaun picked up his phone and then dispatched an urgent text to Dr. Glassman.
SHAUN: I need you right now, please!
At seven weeks pregnant, Lea was sweating profusely in the Silicon Valley heat. She was nowhere near showing yet, but she was bloating and definitely putting on some weight, and her pants were starting to feel tight. She wasn't big enough for maternity clothes at this point, but there was going to be a time shortly when she would need to start shopping for some.
While getting ready for work in the bathroom, she examined herself in the mirror only to notice that she was breaking out. Lea didn't fathom what people meant when a pregnant woman was glowing, because she didn't think she was glowing at all. Instead, her skin was oily, dry, and covered in acne.
"This whole 'glow' is a lie created by Hollywood special effects," she said to herself, sighing in sadness and irritation as she eyed her reflection.
Suddenly, her nausea struck again, and she was enduring another date with her new friend, the toilet.
Lea broke down as she allowed herself to vomit, unfortunately managing to get a tiny bit of it in her hair as her strands flew in front of her face. She wondered when her morning sickness will ever stop, which was why she was looking forward to her second trimester.
She abruptly heard the door open behind her.
It was Shaun, who walked in to check on her. He sat down with his girlfriend and pulled back her dark brown hair, which was starting to get longer and thicker and had a bit of vomit on it. He massaged her shoulders and rubbed her back. He hated the fact that she had to go through this.
"How are you feeling?" Shaun prodded, clearly concerned, and trying to show Lea he cared…before realizing that he might have just asked a stupid question.
"Seriously, Shaun!" Lea snapped, whipping her body around to where she was face to face with him. "Does it look like I'm frolicking around barefoot in some random landscape with a glowing face and clear skin in a hideous maxi-dress, showing off my perfectly round stretchmark-free belly and dancing around like pregnancy is so damn glorious like those pregnant women on magazine covers? No, I'm not! I'm not glowing! I'm a fat, sweaty, hideous, and disgusting mess! My boobs itch, and they are so big that I can barely fit into my bra! I have morning sickness that lasts all day and I just got puke on my hair!"
Startled by Lea raising her voice at him, Shaun scooted away slowly from her, avoiding eye contact with her.
Lea immediately could tell that her yelling frightened Shaun into a near shutdown. She has already known since they moved in together that Shaun couldn't handle being shrieked at that well.
However, no matter how sensitive and patient they were with each other, they both knew that an incident like this was obviously bound to happen at some point due to her pregnancy hormones.
"I'm sorry, Shaun!" Lea sobbed as she rested her head and arms against the toilet seat. "I'm sorry that I yelled. Can you just continue rubbing my shoulders?"
"Okay," uttered Shaun nervously as he scooted towards Lea, satisfying her request. "I'm sorry I asked a stupid question."
"Hey, I'm not mad at you," reassured Lea, her voice muffled. "It's just that…it's been less than eight weeks, and I already hate being pregnant. This sucks!"
Shaun didn't say anything. He just hugged his girlfriend and put her hair into a ponytail. He didn't like being yelled at, but he knew that he should expect a few outbursts from her for the next seven months.
"Anyway, I'm calling bullshit on the pregnancy glow. It's all a lie. And why is it called 'morning sickness'? It happens all day," Lea groaned, rolling her eyes. "I just can't wait for it to be over."
"Whoever coined the term was lazy," commented Shaun. "It's called 'morning sickness' because it is most likely to occur in the day, which still doesn't make sense because it isn't limited to 12:00 am to 11:59 am. And even if they chose 'day sickness', it would make it sound like something that only occurred from 9:00 to 5:00."
Shaun's humorous criticism was able to make Lea laugh for a little bit.
"I know, right?" Lea tittered. "I think something like 'prenatal sickness' would have been a much better…" She was cut off by another wave of nausea and then vomited again.
"Only a month left of this," soothed Shaun as he continued to rub Lea's back.
Shaun opened the door for Dr. Glassman as soon as he heard him knock.
"Shaun, are you okay?" He asked worriedly, concerned for Shaun and Nell as he saw Shaun frantically pacing around the apartment and noticed the minor destruction in the room and heard disembodied wailing. Shaun had definitely reached his breaking point. "Where is Nell? Is she okay?"
"She's fine, she's in my room," the young man hyperventilated, roughly tousling his hair. "Except for the crying."
"What happened, Shaun? What is going on?"
"I didn't hurt Nell, I didn't hurt her," explained Shaun defensively, speaking like he was pleading for mercy. "I got angry, but I didn't yell at her. I didn't say anything mean to her. I wasn't angry at her. She was in a separate room when I did all of this. The noise just scared her. That's why she is crying."
Dr. Glassman ran into Shaun's room to retrieve Nell from her bassinet. He needed to make sure she was okay first, and by 'okay', he meant checking if she needed to be changed, fed, burped, or cuddled because he wasn't sure how long she had been crying for someone to come and pick her up. Plus, Shaun would never physically hurt his daughter...or anyone.
Nell seemed to be just fine.
"Shh, it's okay," he reassured the little girl as he rocked her. "It's alright, your daddy is just a little upset right now. He'll be okay, I just need to help him calm down."
After Nell stopped crying and the destruction was cleaned up, Shaun and Dr. Glassman sat opposite from each other on the couch. Nell was lounging calmly in her baby swing.
Dr. Glassman was hugging Shaun, who was holding his toy scalpel, tightly in his arms like he was comforting his own child. Tears were streaming down the young doctor's face as he welcomed his mentor's comforting embrace.
They were quiet for a while before Dr. Glassman finally broke the silence.
"Shaun, it's okay," he soothed, sort of understanding the grief he was going through. "Don't hold yourself responsible for Lea's death. Yes, you're a doctor, but you're not her doctor and you weren't on duty. It isn't your responsibility to constantly monitor her blood pressure or keep track of all her symptoms. She wasn't your patient, she was your family. So her mother shouldn't be making you feel like you committed medical negligence, but she was probably just caught up in the moment."
"No, it's not okay," sniffed Shaun, breaking out from Dr. Glassman's arms. "I don't think I can do this without Lea. And Virginia will always hate me."
"Shaun," Dr. Glassman continued to speak calmly with patience. "I know this is hard, but you can do this without her and you will get through this. You won't be doing this alone. You have me and Debbie to help you, right? And you also have Claire and Dr. Lim and others. They've all been asking me how you were doing. And I'm sorry that Lea's mother wasn't very nice to you."
"But Lea didn't deserve to have her life cut short. I'm not supposed to be doing this without her," lamented Shaun before delivering a confession. "We were supposed to get married later this year or maybe next year. I was going to ask her to marry me in September, on her 30th birthday. I was planning this since the day Nell was born. My life was going perfect."
"I'm so sorry," Dr. Glassman's mouth dropped open with surprise, feeling even sadder for Shaun. He had a child with the woman he loved, but he never got to marry her and he was going to experience the joy of being a parent without her. But he felt more sorrow for Lea. She had her whole life ahead of her and it got curtailed by one seizure caused by a condition that could have been easily managed if it was caught earlier. She didn't even know she had a fiancé in waiting. "You're right, it isn't fair."
"I also had a nightmare last night," admitted Shaun, laying himself down on the couch. "I'm having them again."
Hearing that broke Dr. Glassman's heart for Shaun. After moving in with him following Steve's death, he often had these nightmares and night terrors. He would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Although he had managed them, they were still terrible. And now, he was probably relapsing. He hasn't seen Shaun this broken since Steve died.
"How long? Has it been since Lea died?"
Shaun slowly nodded his head to the side. "I've had them since Lea was pregnant. They'd be about Steve, my father, Lea, our baby, and sometimes Dr. Melendez. Last night, I had the same dream I had two months ago."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Dr. Glassman asked him.
"Lea and I are on a road trip. We weren't going anywhere, we were just driving," began Shaun, reciting the nightmare in his head as he rubbed the blade of his scalpel. "She's in the passenger seat and I'm the one who is driving. And she's pregnant."
Shaun paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Then, she says the baby is coming and that she can feel the head coming out. We're in the middle of nowhere. I slam on the accelerator and drive to the hospital. But it makes no sense why I did that because if this was real life, I would have pulled over to the side and delivered the baby myself if she said that. Anyway, I'm rushing her to the hospital. She yells at me to watch out, and we get hit by a truck and everything goes black."
"That's terrifying," sighed Glassman, his heart breaking for Shaun. "Is that when you wake up?"
"No, not this time. Worse was added to it," replied Shaun quietly, tears welling in his eyes. "It only gets worse. I wake up in the hooptie, which is flipped upside down after tumbling off a cliff and Lea isn't there. She was probably ejected. The only thing in the passenger seat is a bunch of blood. I hear a little girl crying for her daddy, and I crawl out of the hooptie to look for her, and I already see her. She has blue eyes and curly brown hair and is probably around six-years-old. I walk up to her while she walks towards me, she keeps crying for her daddy. When we get closer and then she sees me, she stops crying for a while and then says 'daddy', looking at me. I'm confused. I don't know what she is doing. I want to help her, but then a bus comes out of nowhere and runs her over, killing her instantly. I run towards her lifeless body and pick her up, but then she comes back to life and starts choking me, staring at me with her bloody face. She is yelling, 'Daddy, look at what you did to me! You did this! You didn't pull me away from that bus! You just stood there and watched! You killed me, just like you killed Mommy and Uncle Steve!' That is when I wake up."
"Oh, my god!" Dr. Glassman gasped, feeling sick to his stomach at that whole thing. He remembers having similar nightmares about Maddie not long after she died...he even had them before that. They were subconscious reminders of every parent's greatest fear: losing their child.
"But it was just a dream, Nell is still here with me. And she is still a baby," breathed Shaun as he burst into tears, rocking back and forth, letting Dr. Glassman hug him again.
"It's alright, Shaun," the older man comforted. "I get it, the thought of losing your child is horrible. I've had dreams like that, too. Every parent does. But, everything is going to be okay."
"Not really," sighed Shaun. "I broke the glass box of Lea's signed baseball. Now it doesn't have a special place. Lea wouldn't be happy with me."
"We'll find a way to fix it, Shaun. We can find another thing to frame it," insinuated Dr. Glassman. "I'm sure Lea would forgive you. Also, you could put it up in Nell's room. You know, so she'll always have a piece of her mom with her."
"I like that idea very much," Shaun wiped his tears as Dr. Glassman gently patted his back. "But, I'm scared that I'm going to lose Nell, too. She could get hit by a car. Or she could get cancer or another terminal illness. Or she'll grow up to hate me and never want to speak to me again. And then I'll be alone again."
"Stop it!" Dr. Glassman said sternly and quiet enough not to wake up Nell, aware of Shaun's fear of ending up alone. Although he still had him and Debbie, Nell was all that Shaun got. "Don't even think about that right now. Alright? Just cherish every moment you have with her, and she's going to need you. That's what Lea would want, right?"
"Yes," sighed Shaun as he hugged Dr. Glassman tightly again. "She would also want me to talk to a therapist. We went to therapy when we started dating. It did help. Lea said that constantly living in fear isn't good for my mental health, and if I'm not happy, then Nell won't be happy."
"I think that's a good idea, Shaun," praised Dr. Glassman, holding Shaun in a tight embrace. "I'm proud of you. Everything is going to be alright, I promise. This is just part of the grieving process."
Not only was Lea four months and 16 weeks pregnant, but also still dealing with morning sickness, extreme morning sickness to be exact.
She anticipated to feel a little better in her second trimester, but so far, she still felt the exact same way she felt in her first trimester. She expected her morning sickness to subside, but instead, it got worse.
Her nausea and vomiting were chronic and unbearable. It would strike up anytime at any place. She could barely keep her food down.
She tried everything Dr. Garcia, Shaun, Dr. Glassman, Debbie, and the internet recommended to remedy her morning sickness, but neither of the tricks seemed to help. Munching on potato chips, drinking lots of water, chewing on fennel seeds, mixing lemon juice with water, eating crackers, eating foods containing vitamin B6, ginger, drinking herbal tea, not taking her prenatal vitamins on an empty stomach…nothing.
This was actually worrying Shaun a lot. "We should go to the doctor," he would recommend every time she vented to him about it. "I'm concerned you might have hyperemesis gravidarum - a pregnancy complication caused by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and possible dehydration."
Nevertheless, she would brush it off and be stubborn every time he proposed she go see the doctor.
Deep down, she knew that she definitely should. Shaun was a doctor, so he was right that this much morning sickness wasn't healthy.
"You should stay home from work today," advised Shaun as he and Lea were getting ready to leave for work.
"Shaun, I'll be fine," Lea rolled her eyes at her boyfriend as she took a sip from her herbal tea.
"You stepped on the scale this morning. Approximately how much weight have you gained?" Shaun asked, looking serious and wanting a serious answer. "Tell me the truth."
Lea hesitated before sighing in defeat. "I actually think I lost some weight instead of gained some. The result on the scale was lower than what Dr. Garcia recorded at our last appointment."
"What color is your urine?" Shaun continued to bombard her with questions, trying to convince her that she needed to see a doctor.
"It's like…amber, I think," replied Lea, sighing. "Or maybe it was burnt orange. I don't remember. That means I'm dehydrated, right?"
"Yes," confirmed Shaun. "You need to stay home today."
"No!" Lea protested. "I'll be fine, Shaun. I'm way behind on a lot of things, and I need to get them done now."
"Okay," Shaun gave in, but that didn't stop him from reminding her to take care of herself. "But…I'm making a doctor's appointment for you tomorrow morning."
"Okay, fine," Lea surrendered, knowing that Shaun was right. She was probably close to the tipping point.
"Drink lots of fluids and ask someone to help you to the ER if you feel lightheaded," he ordered, a stern and scared look encircling his face as they made steps towards the door. "Please. That's an order."
"Yes, doctor," chuckled Lea lightly, rolling her eyes.
As Lea sat at her desk, Dr. Glassman standing next to her as he was presenting her with the assigned tasks for the day, she tried her very best not to barf even though she felt like she could blow chunks at any minute. She regretted her decision to come to work today.
She developed a headache an hour or two ago, making it difficult for her to retain any of the information Dr. Glassman was transferring her.
Dr. Glassman could definitely tell that she was out of it.
"Maybe you should go home, get some rest, and call it a day. I can get it done myself," he suggested, worried for his pregnant assistant and hoping he wasn't overloading her with too much work. "Or should I walk you to the ER?"
"Yes, I..." Lea was cut off when a whiff of Glassy's leftover lunch triggered her nausea. She discretely tried to hold back her gagging, but it was obviously catching Dr. Glassman's attention.
"Are you okay?" She heard him ask as he reached to grab the wastebasket for her.
As Lea felt a surge of vomit rising in her throat, she immediately sprung from her seat, sprinting for the nearest restroom even though Dr. Glassman had offered her the wastebasket. However, just as expected, she didn't make it to the restroom in time, and she ended up vomiting straight onto the floor.
Feeling completely humiliated, she started sobbing.
Not long after, she started to feel dizzy, lightheaded, and disoriented before she lost her balance and everything went black.
Shaun was having lunch with Claire when he received an urgent text from Dr. Glassman.
Dr. Glassman: I just had Lea admitted to the ER. You should come right now. Dr. Lim is taking care of her.
"I have to go now, it's urgent," he blubbered to Claire, hastily springing from his chair and pushing it in.
"Shaun, that doesn't look like it was for our patient," Claire said nervously, noticing the distressed expression on Shaun's face.
"Lea…is…now...a patient here," Shaun bit out slowly. "I need to meet Dr. Glassman at the ER!"
"Do you want me to come with you?" Claire offered.
Shaun nodded and accepted his friend's kind offer. Seconds later, the pair were sprinting as fast as they could towards the ER.
Shaun aggressively ruffled his hair and hoped that Lea and their unborn child were okay.
He feared he would soon get a call like this considering Lea's current status on her morning sickness. He was sure she had hyperemesis gravidarum, but she was too stubborn and thought she could manage it on her own no matter how much he tried to convince her to go to the doctor.
Lea felt a pounding in her head and an extremely dry mouth as she opened her eyes. It took a while for her to realize that she was lying on a bed in the ER. She could see the blurry figures of Shaun, Dr. Glassman, Claire, and Dr. Lim.
She wondered why she was here, but then she remembered. She got sick and passed out.
"Are you awake?" Dr. Lim asked very loudly, leaning her face closer towards hers.
"Yeah?" Lea rasped, still feeling groggy.
"How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?" Dr. Lim interrogated.
"A little dizzy and nauseous…also embarrassed," Lea croaked before she recited everything she could remember. "I was at sitting at my desk and I got queasy. Then I got up to go to the bathroom and then threw up on the floor. That was when I passed out. Shaun was right, I should have stayed home today."
"We're going to take care of you, and we think you might have hyperemesis gravidarum, which in simple terms is severe morning sickness. From what Shaun told me, you're pretty dehydrated," Dr. Lim explained. "We're going to run some tests and start administering fluids through an IV…"
"…in order to get your hydration, electrolytes, vitamins, and nutrients restored," finished Shaun.
"Is the baby okay?" Lea queried, staring at the ceiling. Her slow voice was full of impending devastation.
"There are so far no signs of pregnancy loss, but we'll perform an ultrasound just to be sure," reassured Dr. Lim. "Since you hit your head when you fell, we'll also need to look for any concussions or head injuries of any kind. We're going to need to admit you for observation."
"That means you'll need to stay overnight," conceded Shaun.
Once Lea had been cleared of any concussion or head injury, she was moved into a room. Shaun and Dr. Glassman stayed with her by her side. When more tests were performed, it was officially confirmed that Lea had hyperemesis gravidarum. An ultrasound was also performed, confirming that the fetus was stable.
"So, what's going to happen to me?" She asked, relieved but still terrified.
"You have to stay here overnight," replied Dr. Garcia. "You need to take it easy for a few days because you're going to be on bed rest for a few days. You also need to drink a lot of water and stay hydrated."
"Again, the baby is okay, right?" Lea made sure Shaun or Dr. Garcia weren't hiding something. Then she remembered that Shaun would never do that. He was the most honest guy she knew.
"Yes, our baby is fine, and so are you. All you need now is rest," Shaun smiled, softly patting Lea's shoulder with one hand while reaching out to touch her belly with the other.
"I know how frustrating this condition can be, but unfortunately, this will last throughout your entire pregnancy," Dr. Garcia spelled out somberly.
"And what about the baby?" Lea inquired as she placed her hand over her belly. "Please don't lie to me."
"I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but there are risks - low fetal birth weight, preterm labor, delayed development," Dr. Garcia made it clear as she listed every possible risk. "But that's for severe cases, ones that largely go untreated. Right now, you're not one of them. But if you continued to ignore this, you would have been."
"But, something can still be done to help me carry to term, right? Or at least to where the baby would be viable?" Lea pleaded, realizing the danger she had put herself and her baby in for not seeking help.
"Yes," Shaun replied with reassurance. "Our baby has a high chance of surviving. And…your vitals are stable, which is good."
After Shaun had finally calmed down and Dr. Glassman left, Shaun was now holding Nell in his arms, pacing around the apartment with her as she was nestled in the safety of his arms.
"I'm sorry, peanut," he whispered in sobs, calling her the nickname he had given to her while she was still in the womb. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I scared you. Daddy's okay. Please don't leave me, ever."
AN: Yep, I said it. Carly is also engaged to her new man :)