Chapter Summary: As Shaun returns to work and drops Nell off at daycare without Lea, he remembers a nostalgic moment he had with Lea not long before Nell was born.
AN: Sorry, I'm not good at titles. Anyway, I still do appreciate feedback, though :)
Lea relaxed in the cushioned ivory glider in the unoccupied nursery, dozing off as she rocked back and forth. She was uncomfortable and in pain, so she rested her feet on top of the ottoman and tried to distract herself by dreaming about her unborn child.
At 37 weeks pregnant, she and Shaun definitely knew that their child could probably be born any day now at any second, so they made sure and double-checked that their home was prepared for the baby. That included stocking up on diapers, washing the baby clothes and crib sheets, and babyproofing the apartment. The nursery, which used to be her own personal bedroom when she and Shaun were just roommates and friends, had been decorated and all of the furniture was put together.
The crib had a breathable yellow mesh (which were safer and more recommended than the thick crib bumpers their parents used) and green rail guards lined against the railings to protect the baby from injuries of entanglement and to prevent the baby from chewing on the crib. A tiny white blanket decorated with cute little hedgehogs was folded neatly on top of the mattress, which was covered with a crib sheet patterned with woodland animals: foxes, rabbits, squirrels, deers. Next to the blanket was the kitten security blanket that Shaun had picked out.
The dresser and changing table had been out together as one thing. A thing of wipes and a green diaper caddy containing powder, diaper cream, shampoos, lotions, a brush, and comb, and a few diapers had been sitting atop the dresser next to the pinned down changing pad. Next to the piece of furniture was a diaper genie.
The shelves were put together, and there was also one attached to the wall. The baby monitor, white noise machine, lamp, humidifier, and bins of toys and other things were placed on the shelves. There were also a couple of bins lying around in the room containing stuffed animals, hooded towels, cloths, sheets, and blankets. There was also a grey laundry hamper with an owl printed on it and the walls were painted a yellowish color.
She winced as she felt her baby move. "Seriously, grasshopper," she sighed, clutching her abdomen. "Give it a rest. Why do you always dance around when Mommy is trying to relax?"
The baby seemed to settle down for a while, and Lea smiled down fondly at her round belly. It wasn't long before she fell asleep in the glider.
Shaun came home that evening to find Lea asleep in the glider in the nursery. He thought the sight of his pregnant girlfriend sleeping at that moment in the nursery was sweet.
He was about to wake her up, but then he remembered that she might snap at him for waking her up from a nice nap like she did last week. He tip-toed out of the nursery, but Lea eventually stirred and noticed his presence.
"Shaunie? You're home already?" She yawned, stretching her arms.
Shaun whirled around to see that she was awake and alert. "Yes, it's 7:30," he replied. "I told you that my shift was over at 6:35 today."
"Wow, it's already this late?" Lea observed the darker beautiful sunset sky outside through the window. "I guess my nap was a lot longer than I planned."
Shaun walked over towards her placed one hand on the swell of her belly, leaning in to kiss her lovingly. "How is the baby doing?"
Lea sighed with a giggle. "Shaun Joseph Murphy, your child won't stop moving around. They always seem to want to do it when I'm trying to rest."
Shaun skimmed his hand over her belly before kissing her again on the lips and smiling softly. "We need to eat dinner. I bought us Vietnamese take-out, just like you requested."
"I asked you to pick up Vietnamese?" Lea questioned, not sure if she remembered asking Shaun to pick up dinner at any point today.
"Did you want something else?" Shaun asked, fearing that he did something wrong. "Do you not want Vietnamese food anymore?"
"No, it's not that," chuckled Lea. "I'm fine with Vietnamese. I just don't recall ever requesting you pick up dinner today, that's all."
"Okay," Shaun sighed in relief. "You did, though. You asked for pho, egg rolls, and fried rice."
It was probably pregnancy brain.
With the help of Shaun, Lea pulled herself out of the glider. She chuckled as she wobbled slightly from the extra weight in her middle that shifted her center of gravity, and held onto Shaun with an amused grin. "They have gotten really heavy," she said absently as they walked (or in Lea's case, waddled) into the dining area.
Shaun glared at Lea's belly. "I can see that," he said as they sat down at the dining table.
A couple of months had passed since Lea's passing and Nell was officially four months old. Although she was starting to wake Shaun up in the middle of the night a little bit less than she used to, she wasn't fully sleeping through the night just yet. She was able to hold her head steady without being supported and push up to her own elbows. She was also able to roll from her tummy to her back and smile a little bit.
After being woken up by one of his alarms from his phone at 3:00 in the morning, Shaun got up out of bed to retrieve Nell from her crib in her nursery. When he got there, he noticed that she was already wide awake.
"Good morning, peanut," he greeted groggily as he hoisted her out of the crib. He needed to change her into fresh clothes and get himself cleaned up and dressed because it was his first day back at work. If Lea was still alive, she would have returned to work around two to four weeks ago before him.
After Shaun got Nell fed, burped, changed (feeling it would be rude to leave her in a dirty diaper upon her arrival), and dressed, he searched her drawers for a good outfit to wear. He picked out a plain short-sleeved white onesie with a bee on it and a pair of grey pants.
Once Nell was ready, he set her down in her bouncer so he could get himself ready. He did his exercises, showered, brushed his teeth, brushed his hair, and then got dressed in a pair of beige khakis and a dark green button-down shirt.
Before he sat down at the table to eat his breakfast of oatmeal, yogurt, and an apple, he picked up the bouncer with Nell in it and set it on top of the table where he could see her more closer. As he ate his breakfast, he waved the kitten security blanket in front of her and thought about the worries that were going on in his head.
Should I pack an extra pair of clothes in case she has a huge diaper blowout? He wondered. I should probably do that.
Shaun was entering his fifth and final year of residency, and he knew that being a single parent and a surgical resident wasn't going to be simple.
Thankfully, he and other parents who worked at St. Bonaventure were in luck because the hospital had an on-site daycare where employees would leave their children while they went to work or where children would spend time when their parents were in the hospital and there was nobody else to watch them. It was the best childcare that was available after business hours.
However, the biggest thing that was going through Shaun's mind right now was the fact that he was leaving Nell with a complete stranger. Although he and Lea already met Brooke, the head daycare worker who seemed pretty nice and trustworthy and had a degree in childcare and child development and psychology, before Nell was even born, she was still a new person to him.
Separation anxiety: anxiety provoked in a young child by separation or the threat of separation from their primary caregiver, usually a parent.
Shaun was not looking forward to hearing Nell cry once she would leave his arms into someone else's for long hours. He was told that it wasn't easy for the parent either.
But on the bright side, dropping Nell off at daycare as a baby was probably going to be easier than when he would be dropping her off as a toddler, where things would possibly get a bit more physical and Brooke would have to force her to let go of him and keep her from running after him when he would leave the room and walk away.
It wasn't like that way for him and Steve though. They never cried when their parents, especially their father, would drop them off at pre-school. It's because they usually didn't feel safe at home. Whenever their mother or father would come to pick them up, they didn't feel soothed at the reunion. Shaun didn't feel safe at school either, but for a while until he got older, it was better than being at home.
When he finished eating, he walked over to Nell and decided that it was time to go.
"Alright, sweetie," he cooed to the little girl as he lifted her out of her bouncer and buckled her into her car seat. "It's time to go. It's my first day back at work."
After Shaun and Lea finished eating, they decided to do something a little romantic.
Shaun reached out for her hand. "Do you want to dance?" He asked.
"Sure, I'd love to," Lea cried with tears of happiness, her hormones taking over her. "It can be like the prom night we never had."
"It doesn't bother me that I didn't attend my high school prom. I never even wanted to go," reminded Shaun. "And you said that you were resentful of prom since your date showed up with another girl on prom night."
"I know. I spent so much of my money on a dress and then that jerkwad Travis Harrell says he can't go to prom because of a family thing, thinking I wouldn't show up to prom with my friend when he shows up instead with that twisted biatch Amanda Kelly," said Lea with slight anger even though that was eleven years ago, yet still despising that painful memory. "There is nothing wrong with not going to prom, but that was one of the worst nights of my life. I was just referring to slow-dancing. And I'm also referring to the time we sang karaoke on our first date. Except we'll be slow-dancing instead. I can't really jump around like I used to do now that I'm pregnant."
"I'd rather live through that road trip memory than my teenage memories," joked Shaun as Lea went to the nursery to retrieve her phone and then start playing "Islands in the Stream".
"Tequila, stat!" Lea quipped.
"You can't have alcohol," reminded Shaun jokingly.
"I know, I'm just reenacting our first date a little bit," laughed Lea. "Okay, then...um, mocktails, stat!"
Shaun pulled Lea towards him, his hands embracing her waist. She leaned up to give him a kiss and then rested her head against his shoulder. They swayed together, her pregnant belly pressed in between. He gently laid his head against hers and closed his eyes.
Three years ago, Lea didn't want to share this apartment with him, and she didn't want to be more than friends or roommates. Now, three years later, he was with the exact same woman in the exact same apartment. This woman was also carrying his child, who could be born any day now.
Lea must have been thinking the same thing along the same lines because Shaun suddenly heard her whisper, "I'm so happy," into his neck.
He wrapped his arms around her tighter and pressed a kiss into her hair. "Me, too."
Shaun took the bus to St. Bonaventure, carrying Nell in her car seat along with him. He could have taken Lea's hooptie now that he's had his driver's license for months, but he was still used to taking the bus to work.
Before making his way to the breakout room to join his other co-residents, he stopped by the daycare to drop off Nell.
"Hi, Shaun," Brooke greeted cheerfully before turning her attention towards Nell. "Hello, Eleanor."
"Hi, Brooke. I got Nell's important information right here," Shaun said as he handed Brooke a few papers with important information about Nell. "She's up to date on all of her vaccines - HepB, RV1, DTaP, Hib, PCV13, and IPV. Lea and I also received our pertussis vaccinations during her third trimester so we wouldn't give it to her. I'm very strict about getting every vaccine administered at the correct time, and I have her on a schedule."
"That's great," Brooke smiled. "I don't require it, but I do appreciate it and I actually do prefer that the children are up to date on their immunizations. So, thank you for telling me that."
"Here is her feeding schedule. I also packed a change of clothes, and..."
"Shaun, don't worry," reassured Brooke. "Amy and I have all of this under control. I've been doing this for five years and I have four children of my own at home. She's in good hands."
"I have to go now," sighed Shaun, giving his daughter one more hug and kiss, not wanting to let Nell go as he handed over the car seat. "You also might want to wear your hair up in the future because she likes to pull hair. She'll chew on it sometimes."
"Noted. Thank you," obliged Brooke as she held her arms out for Nell.
Nell started to fuss once Shaun transferred her into Brooke's arms.
"It's okay, sweetheart," cooed Brooke, bopping her to calm her down once she had a full grip on Nell, who was reaching her tiny arm out for her father. "It's okay, your daddy will be back. You and I will have a good time."
"It's okay peanut, I'll be back," Shaun tried to hold back his tears as he walked away from the daycare center. "I promise."