Before we begin today's chapter... I would like to talk about a review received from Guest, which was sent the 28th September. At first, there was just the usual message... but now it has been updated! Thanks for the "review", Guest! Here it is:
"The story started out nice, but ita biggest flaw has to be its length. It seems to be split up between mini-arcs, but it feels somewhat too long to scan through. If someone were to try and read all of the story, it would be increasingly difficult to do.
This does seem like an enormous bundle of passion in terms of writing, but I'm afraid that 300 chapters wouldn't appeal to everyone."
Now... why I rejected this review in particular, which was supposed to be published in "The Beginning - Prologue"? I'll explain the reason at the end of this note.
Let's start talking about the review, by saying that I accept and respect the user's opinion on my story. I'm aware that my story cannot please everyone, whenever is story length or story decisions... in fact, this "review" (which is more of an opinion) has nothing wrong in it. It's a thought, which we still have to listen to in order to have a grasp of what a person is after in a story.
But when the following opinion becomes a problem? When people don't take it as an opinion... but as the truth. If we are talking about how this story, objectively, has a flaw because of its length, then we should say why having a long story is a flaw to begin with. I will say this: writing a longer story means that the writer must be skillful enough to not insert any information, which would contradict previous ones said in the very first chapters or creating plot holes and all that sorts.
If a story has contradictions, it makes it pointless to even follow the story, since the writer can make it go as they please: for example, if we read in a story that the character talks in English, but later on the same character would speak in another language and his/her friends claim that said character never talked in English before... we see a contradiction, which makes you think to not even bother paying attention, because the writer is changing the rules he/she is establishing inside the story as they feel like (a rule change should be backed with logical evidences, to make it authentic).
Now... I would invite you to think about the story you are reading: have you noticed any contradictions? Anything which makes the story seen as untrustful? From the user reviews, I have never seen anything like it. Obviously Guest would had told me so, if they have noticed something suspicious... which means, my story is very solid when it comes to logic and rule-application!
So, if I can still manage to write "for this long" (keep in mind, there are stories who have a higher chapter/word count than this one) and make the whole experience as authentic as possible... then, why having a long story is a flaw? When a story is too long, anyway? I would say as long as this website can allow. I would like to remind you that there are many types of stories, which can be symbolic or mundane... but generally, we read a story for the writer's skill of creating an illusion. Like a magician who pretends to pick up a rabbit from his hat, because of "magic"...
We read stories to see what the characters/world are/is doing. If we encounter many contradictions, what's the point of reading the story? We might as well come up with what X character did and what Z world caused. Of course stories can't be see as true, because there is no decisive evidence that proves how the story is real... but the writer's skill would be to make it as authentic as possible.
Generally speaking, aside from what I said earlier, there are very few rules for writing a story... that's why there are so many types of them! Although, people have their own standard comprehension of a story, which it must be respected... but their standard is not absolute. Can you imagine seeing stories written in a similar manner, otherwise?
Now... notice how I'm not talking much about the opinion itself, despite the fact I claimed to do so. Don't worry: I had to say the basics, before we would jump into the main event. I'm going to point out, bit by bit, each part of this opinion in an objective POV:
"but ita biggest flaw has to be its length" = I have already explained how normally story length is not a problem... let's see Guest's reason for it to be.
"It seems to be split up between mini-arcs, but it feels somewhat too long to scan through." = How so? All the information needed to understand the current situation are present in the current arcs/mini-arcs. You can literally jump at any chapter and read what's going in the story's world: if you would like to know how the situation came to be or something in particular, you are free to read the previous chapters. It's optional. Characters are very focused on their goal and you will know what they are after and their plan for reaching said goal, by just reading how naturally the story flows through.
"If someone were to try and read all of the story, it would be increasingly difficult to do." = It might be hard to even look for something specific, because you wouldn't know which chapter/arc to look for a specific information... however, I read previous chapters all the time, in order to make sure that no contradiction would exist in the newer ones. There is even a compilation of reviews, where someone would keep leaving reviews for a long time and for each newer chapter. So, I don't see how reading through all my story, at least once, would be "increasingly difficult to do". You meant to say that studying my story (so, remembering exactly how things are connected) is hard? But who said that you should study and remember everything written in my story? And who said that all readers will find the whole thing "increasingly difficult"? It's absolutely questionable, since there is no evidence of this claim.
"but I'm afraid that 300 chapters wouldn't appeal to everyone." = Do the 70 users (confirmed at the current day) who faved my story, some others who just decided to follow it and occasional other guest, positive reviews count in your claim? Despite the counter saying 389, I still occasionally receive new favorites (or losing some of those), so we can safely say that my story can still be appealing to the readers, no matter the chapter count (or even the word count).
So, what about the conclusions? Well... as you can see, this "review" is more of an opinion since it doesn't reference anything existing in my story, nor other logical cases for supporting this "length" flaw he/she mentioned. Opinion which I fully respect, keep in mind... but such opinions should be kept as "personal opinions", instead of being said as the "truth" (the truth is something you can clearly see... not "assuming", as we have seen in this "review", so far). I say this, because Guest hasn't claimed that the "review" was made out of his/her opinion, thus implying that we are reading something "objective", which is not true as I explained earlier.
But wait! Why I decided to post the whole explanation in here and not in the very first chapter? Because there would be a chance for people who just start their reading experience or unsure readers, to have a wrong impression, if they read the reviews first before jumping into the first chapter. This story is currently the longest story ever written in the Splatoon Archive, with a Summary who doesn't say anything about the plot... a reader already doesn't know precisely, what they will find since it seems to be very different from all the other ones.
Then, if they are susceptible to reviews... they might think to have read the truth, thus not giving the story a chance. If "Fanfiction net" would let writers answer directly to such reviews, so everyone would read the writer's answer... I wouldn't been rejecting the "review" and post this whole talk, under it. Unfortunately, it's not possible... so I thought I would release the complete "review", plus my talk in this chapter.
Why? Because it's more probable that experienced readers would see this, instead of newcomers who usually start from beginning/ending arcs or from the first/newest chapter available. Experienced readers who have read the story so far and have a clear opinion about the whole story experience. They will decide for themselves, whenever they will consider this "review" or not.
However, if you are a newcomer and you are reading this Author's Note... give my story a try and see for yourself if you are enjoying its style.
With that said... send in a review or leave in a favorite/follow if you are liking the story so far!
Ah!
Suddenly, Mirii's face appeared on the sofa's back. The girl stopped, as her eyes expanded and her mouth opened wide.
Friend! Friend!
Mirii's mouth flattened.
"… this… … no, I have a bad feeling about this…" Her eyebrows went down. "If I attack an image of me… I might cause a self-attack." Her head rose. "This unidentified event could be a work of magic, after all… or a work of technology." Her eyes squeezed a bit. "Besides, those images only manipulated my vision. Therefore, I shouldn't spend more thoughts on such irrelevant matter…"
Mirii's head shook, as she sighed loudly.
"I'm not a fool, as you might think…" Her head lowered. "I have the ability to learn from my mistakes…. Thus, I'll not fall prey of another one of your pranks."
Sorry! Sorry!
The girl's head rose her head back: on the sofa's back, an image of herself was handshaking an Inkling girl's right hand. Both were smiling. Mirii snorted, as she began walking.
"Your image is a lie…" She yelped a bit, as her right eye closed. "… don't you dare following me."
Her eyes moved on the television screen: an image of Mirii appeared, with her mouth downturned. The girl growled.
"Enough posing as me!" Mirii's pace increased, as she passed the television. "Leave me alone!"
Smoke was coming out from Mirii's ears, as she went near the opened door.
"Ow, this pain is so big… w-will I ever be able to proceed like this?!" Her eyebrows went up a bit. "I-I'm covered in filth… I'm feeling sick and tired… siiigh… … n-no, I can't give up right now!" Her head shook. "I-I can do this… I-I can"
"Mirii Kelpshell."
The girl jumped, as her head immediately tilted upwards.
"Curses! I exposed my presence"
"Don't reach the upper floor… or else I'll splat you." A male voice was echoing throughout the room and hallway.
Mirii's mouth opened a bit.
"I'm watching you… your plans are useless against me." The voice felt coming from the right.
"Wh-who are you?!" Mirii frowned a bit.
"I'm your worst nightmare, if you disobey my order… I'll be nothing, if you leave." The voice felt coming from the left.
"... is he one of those mercenaries who challenge me, while I'm trying to investigate potential Project Neo operations?" Her eyes squeezed a bit. "… hmpf."
Her right hand took her gun, pointing it at the ceiling, while her legs stretched a bit upwards.
"I never had nightmares… only results." Her eyes closed. "Results of brilliance, perfection and intelligence."
"I don't see that… now. Your results were full of failure, misery and stupidity." The voice felt coming from the distance, in front of Mirii.
The girl's forehead popped a vein, as her eyes opened a bit wide.
"You pathetic coward! I'm seeing nothing but a coward!" Her teeth gritted a bit, as her right foot took a step forward. "Show yourself, if you are wishing to be beaten by the ultimate Squid!"
"I'll do with pleasure… if you disobey." The voice felt coming from behind the girl. "This is my last warning: don't go to the upper floor."
Mirii sighed, as her knees bended slightly.
"I-I'm not in good shape… … the Power Health!" Her mouth opened.
Her left hand took off a small, clear bottle containing a bluish liquid. Her head lowered, as her irises pointed at the product.
"I almost forgot!" She smiled a bit. "I carried one of those, in case I would need medical attention!"
The girl shook the bottle for three seconds, then she took out the plastic, clear cork with her right thumb and forefinger. Her face grimaces a bit.
"I-I didn't wanted to rely on it… but at this point, I don't have the luxury of proceeding in such state…" She sniffed a bit, as her grimace grew a bit more.
Her eyes closed, as the bottle went on her lips. Liquid was pouring inside, as her eyes were squeezing.
"Eew… eeeeeeeewwwww!" Her face turned a bit green. "Blaah… nnnnggh!"
Her left hand brought the bottle back down, as the girl bended forward with her mouth open and her tongue sticking out.
"Oooooooh!" Her head shook, as her mouth kept opening and closing. "I would rather drink one of those unhealthy sodas, than having this terrible aftertaste of… rotten eggs, carbon and mud!" Her face got even greener. "Ggaaaaaah… n-no, I can't spit it out! I-I'm an educated, mature and sophisticate Squid! I-I would never throw such reputation…" Her left hand put her empty bottle away, together with the cork.
Mirii began walking forward.
"… the Power Health worked just as I expected." She smiled, passing the opened door in front of her. "Not only I don't have any terrible pains… fatigue is non-existing in any part of me!" Her smile grew a bit more. "Now I can"
An image of Mirii appeared on the wall, with the feet touching the bottom and the height matching the girl's one. Mirii snorted, frowning a bit.
"If you show up, one more time, trying to imitate true perfection…" Her left forefinger pointed at her image, as her left arm stretched. "I'll use cleaning products against your"
Her mouth sealed, as her irises shrunk. The image began trembling, as the eyebrows were up and the mouth downturned. Mirii kept staring back at the image, as her eyes grew.
No! Friend! Friend!
"… huh… this image does represent myself perfectly" She took some steps forward, as her right hand put her gun away and her left arm retreated to her left side. "As if I'm looking at a mirror… … this voice is begging me to forgive her… I wonder…"
Mirii's arms folded, as her head rose.
"You… you are seeking forgiveness, right?"
What? Forgiveness, don't know… friend, want! Friend, want!
The image was smiling, as another Inkling girl appeared next to the Mirii one: both were smiling widely. Mirii's mouth downturned slightly.
"… I believe you are indeed seeking forgiveness." She snorted. "She must be even more ignorant than Hunley… … I hope she can understand my conditions…"
Mirii took two steps forward, as her arms returned on her sides.
"If you think to be a worthy friend of perfection… then you have to represent myself as a taller girl."
Taller?
Mirii nodded. Suddenly, Mirii's image began slowly growing in height as her clothes enlarged in proportion to it: now the Inkling girl's tip of her head was reaching the taller Mirii's tip of her right shoulder. The image stopped the growth, as the head tilted down: Mirii's mouth opened wide, as her eyes grew.
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