Title: For a Friend by hercat
Genre: Umm, Friendship fic?
Characters: K, I of course
Comments: Sometimes all you need is someone to show they care
Status: complete, though the story arc isn't yet.

Kakashi was sitting in a tree, reading his book. Well, not so much reading as staring at it. The nice thing about books, they give you somewhere to put your eyes. A way to avoid looking at people. To avoid seeing them looking at you, noticing you.

You'd think after 20 years as a ninja he'd be used to losing people. Resigned to seeing them fall around him while he went on. It never happened, never helped.

The branch shifted as another ninja landed on it. "Iruka-sensei. Is there something up with Naruto?" He put the book away, not quite sure when that courtesy had become automatic around this man.

"No. I heard about your mission. I thought you might want to talk."

"Ninja don't 'talk'. They don't complain about their missions or whine about life. They do their duty and move on." Iruka settled down on the branch, mercifully staring out over the city instead of at Kakashi.

"There's a bartender on Aoibashi Street who'd argue with you on that." He said with a soft smile and an aborted glance in Kakashi's direction. Kakashi laughed softly, bitterly.

"Fine then. You first sensei. Tell me about how you killed someone through stupidity. Tell me how your arrogance killed a member of your team." Iruka let out a slow breath at that.

"If that's what you want. It's happened more than once, but I'll tell you about the first time.
"After I graduated as a genin with my team, it took a while for us to learn to work well together. Mizuki was near the top of the class and I was near the bottom. Natsuko, the kunoichi for our team was in the middle. She was a little like Shikamaru-kun in that she did the minimum, but in her case it was the minimum to stay in the middle.

"After a year of C and D class missions we felt that we were ready and our sensei agreed. We even had some team jutsu." Kakashi was surprised. As much as the Leaf emphasized teamwork, 'teamwork' was doing what the leader said, when they said, and not fighting. Team jutsu, all three nin working in absolute concert required a level of cooperation most shinobi weren't really capable of. Too much ego.

"We made it through the first and second levels, mostly because we were too scared of the other teams to take any chances. There weren't any preliminaries that year, only three teams passed. Nine Genin, and I drew the extra fight. I trained like crazy and finally perfected a jutsu I'd been working on for a long time. But my first fight was too easy. I got through it with bunshin and some basic traps. I didn't have a chance to show off to the crowd. To the people who for once were paying attention to me."

"You used your new jutsu."

"Yes. In my second match. And Natsuko dodged. And I hit the concrete wall behind her. Which exploded. I can still see it."

"The medic nin couldn't save her."

"There wasn't enough left for them to bother trying. And the proctor told me I had won. Can you believe that? I withdrew from the tournament. Sandime-sama tried to talk me out of it, but I told him I'd rather be a Genin for the rest of my life than risk my life and those of others for a title."

"They still made you a Chuunin."

"Yes, and all it cost me was the life of one friend, and the friendship of another. I don't know if hearing that helps, but I hope it does."

"You were young."

"And you're not all-powerful" said Iruka and smiled at him. So warm was all Kakashi could think. "You can't be no matter what certain underage kunoichi think. You've got quite the fan club you know." Kakashi snorted. That was pretty close to the absolute last thing he needed. "Does that help? Even a little?"

The expression on Iruka's face was so damn hopeful. Like it really mattered to him that a Jounin he'd met a handful of times was sulking. Kakashi considered his question. When it came down to it, life went on. Or it didn't. And if it was his choice, he would choose to go on. Because that's what a ninja did.

"Ah." He pulled out his book and opened it to chapter 7. It was his favourite part. After a minute Iruka took the hint and left, but not before shooting him a blinding smile that he would have missed completely if the Chuunin had been on the other side.

And Kakashi the copy nin, master of a thousand jutsu didn't know quite what to make of it.