She could never remember the alley being so soft. It only deviated from its standard hard and rough surface when it snowed, but if it was snowing, why didn't she feel cold? She opened her eyes, finding herself in a den. Of course.

She had forgotten all about yesterday. When she came to the Clan to become Brambleclaw's mate… but found a family too. She stretched, being careful not to disturb the other apprentices. It was into silky gray dawn that she emerged, yet the camp was teeming already.

"Good, you're awake." Her mentor mewed. "We're going around the territory and then we'll see what you can do already."

She nodded.

"But first, grab yourself some prey. We don't want the other Clans to think that we starve our apprentices, not to mention that the best warriors are well-fed ones."

"I will."

She darted over to the prey pile, grabbing a small furry animal that she'd never seen before.

"That's a shrew." A voice told her as she whirled around.

"Morning, Brambleclaw!"

"Morning, Squirrelpaw. So, you're on dawn patrol with Dustpelt?"

"Yep."

"Maybe later after sunhigh we could hunt together?"

"I'd like that." She purred.

"I'll see you then." He replied, touching his tailtip to her shoulder.

Squirrelpaw's cheeks burned as she gulped down the shrew and scurried to her mentor, who had humour dancing in his amber eyes.

"If you're not too busy mooning over Brambleclaw, we can get to training."

The pair padded out of the gorse tunnel, unaware of a pair of disgruntled eyes watching from the bush and then disappearing.

They came around the territory, but Squirrelpaw noticed that he deliberately avoided the Twolegplace, as the Clan cats called it. Good move. The territory was fascinating, but already she could see cover for prey… and cats.

They stopped in a sand-floored clearing, where Dustpelt got into a tense stance, moving further into the hollow.

"Welcome to ThunderClan's training hollow. Attack me."

She unsheathed her claws, used to this type of training.

"No! Claws sheathed!"

Sheepishly, she sheathed them again.

"Sorry, it's just become a force of habit by now."

"Attack me, claws sheathed."

She bolted towards her mentor, who anticipated a spring and moved. She wheeled around, grabbing him by his tail. She then leapt onto his back while he was confused, placing her paws at the scruff of his neck.

"Well done, Squirrelpaw. But warriors here have a code of honour. Never kill unless your opponent does not accept mercy or if your life is in danger."

"But won't everyone just kill me?"

"Warriors. Plural. All four Clans in this forest stick to the same code. You don't have to worry about killing yet. Now your basic tactics are good, but your leap here is a bit unrefined…"

Head reeling with new knowledge after the battle training, Dustpelt led her to a quiet part of the woods.eaHe

"Let's see your hunter's crouch."

She got into her pigeon-hunting stance, focusing on an imaginary quarry.

"Once again, just a few small details here and there. Tail lower. Haunches a bit more relaxed. You want to kill prey, not hurt your paw pad."

She made the adjustments hastily, feeling a small bit uncomfortable with the new changes.

"You'll get used to the changes eventually. Every apprentice has flaws in their first few sessions. Now, would you like to catch real prey?"

"Yes, please, Dustpelt."

She was instructed to walk into the woods. Her ears pricked in the rustling of the forest, she listened for anything that may prove tasty. A small scuffling and the smell of food caused her to get into the new hunter's crouch and spring. She picked up the mouse by its tail, about to eat.

"You must save that for elders and kits."

"In BloodClan we ate what we caught." Her stomach growled as if to back her up.

"In BloodClan they kill cats over prey. Does that make it right?"

She was reminded again of the alley, of Bronze's fur stained copper, of Ice's praise. She could smell the sharp tang of blood – only this time it was a cat's, not a mouse's, and she had it on her paw, and she'd killed a cat violently… Again in the alley, where an unknown cat was led before Ice and she leapt down, and he fell quickly as she felt a rush of fear and disgust as Ice laughed and kicked the body –

"You're shaking, Squirrelpaw. Are you okay?"

She took a breath.

Another.

She could still feel blood on her paws. She could still hear Ice resounding in her ears as he laughed. She could still feel the bricks chilling her as the constant rot of Twolegplace was replaced with the scent of death.

She dimly felt herself being led but was too lost in her memory to protest. She could see blurs over the reality of the alley, as Slash gained another tooth in her collar and the BloodClan lackeys dumped the body near a dog pack or a Thunderpath. She could still see the dark stains on the gray stone that still made her sick.

Coolness swept her fur and she could dimly hear talking – a younger female talking to an older male – arguing. She felt sorry for the female – if she was arguing with the male, who would have strength on his side, then she wouldn't last long.

Another male, this time yelling. The pair had numbers on their side now. That would mean that whatever they were arguing about would most likely be won by the pair.

A gray face, pushing leaves and seeds towards her. She knew that she would need to eat to survive in this alley – everything brought some nutrition. She choked them down, deciding that out of all the things she'd eaten, these leaves weren't the worst. She tried to sleep, as Ice at least wouldn't rouse her until dawn. Through her tail and snatches of the past she could hear the argument more clearly.

"…only told her that BloodClan killed cats over prey, and it didn't make it right!"

"Fetch my meal."

"…Killed…still bad memories…"

"We know the rules…"

"Why'd you use…"

"I wasn't expecting you to have the guts to do it…"

She clamped her tail firmly over her eyes, trying to blot out both the past and the present.