Savage: The Avengers

by awalkerlifeforme

Seventy years after her best friend's deaths Victoria has gotten Steve Rogers back but his return isn't without complications. Forced to confront her demons Victoria must traverse her tense friendship with Steve. When an old flame attacks New York with an alien army, Victoria and her fellow heroes must put aside their differences to defend the Earth. But it's easier said than done.

1. Chapter 1

The phone beeped with the end-of-call warning as I stared at the clock and jumped off the couch. It was far later than I'd thought it was. I tossed my black leather jacket over my shoulders as I turned to walk out of my apartment. Steve would already be awake and waiting for me. I normally would have already been with him. I'd meant to be at his temporary home an hour ago but had gotten caught up on the phone with Nat, who had initially called to wish me a happy birthday but had ended up spending most of the call questioning me regarding Steve.

Nat had wanted to meet Steve from the moment she'd learned that he had come out of the ice two weeks ago. He used to be one of her favorite things to ask me about when we'd first started working together. She was a naturally inquisitive person. She had been even more so since she had joined S.H.I.E.L.D. half a decade ago. Fury and I had both insisted that Steve wasn't ready to meet anyone new yet but I had promised her that I would eventually introduce them.

One of these days Steve would have to start meeting people. He couldn't live in the past forever. I had a feeling that Steve would like Nat when they finally got the chance to meet. They were very different people but Nat and I had very similar personalities. It made sense as I had known Nat since she was a teenager. At some point, I knew that I would have to introduce Steve to the rest of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and the rest of the people I worked with, but I was taking my time. I needed to let him adjust to the new world before I did.

Once I'd grabbed my wallet and left my apartment, locking the door behind me, I walked downstairs. It sounded busy outside. I could hear the chattering of the cameramen who were waiting for me to come downstairs. They had been lingering in front of my apartment building for almost two weeks now as they waited to get any information on Steve. It wouldn't come from me. I wasn't telling them anything. All I was doing was taking care of Steve. I was the only one who went to see him. I was the only one he wanted to see. I walked into the lobby and let out a deep breath.

As usual, there were dozens of cameramen from different news stations outside my apartment building. Most of them believed that I had Steve staying with me. "Miss Davies!" one man yelled. "What can you tell us about Captain America? How is he doing?"

He was a reporter I had seen before. He'd been here every day since Steve had woken up. I rolled my eyes as I walked out of the lobby and out toward the pavement. The cameras followed me, flashing brightly as I walked. Most of the reporters remained a few steps back from me (as they were always afraid I might retaliate in annoyance) but the man who had just called to me stepped far too close for my comfort. I ripped the television camera from his hand and turned to throw it against the stone wall of my building, where it smashing into a thousand pieces.

A bright smile formed over my lips as I turned back to the man, who was giving me a frightened look. "Next time it's your head," I warned him.

His voice died as I moved past him and threw one of the reporters off to the side so I could get to my car. It technically wasn't mine. Fury had given me a budget of $40,000 from S.H.I.E.L.D. to buy myself a car to use but I hadn't liked anything. So, I had hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s financial accounts and bought myself a brand-new Audi R8 Spyder, which had cost a little over $200,000. Naturally, Fury had yelled at me for it but had eventually realized that it was a beautiful car and allowed me to keep it with the caveat that he would be allowed to use it.

The only reason I had agreed on the condition was to get him to stop complaining at me. I climbed into my car, slammed the door behind me and revved the engine. It roared to life as I threw the car into drive. I moved the car quickly into the crowd without slowing down. I didn't care if I ran someone over. The only problem would have been if their bodies had damaged the body or undercarriage of my car. Thankfully for all of us, the reporters all moved out of my way. I was barely a mile down the road when the Bluetooth chirped with an incoming call from Fury.

Fury's voice came loudly over the car phone. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has to pay for that man's camera, you know?" his stern voice called.

What the hell did that have to do with me? That sounded like a personal problem to me. "Cry me a river," I snapped.

"Are you going to see Captain Rogers?" Fury asked, knowing that I didn't care if he had a problem with my breaking the man's camera.

"Where else would I be going?" I hissed.

"Do what you can to get him to join S.H.I.E.L.D," Fury ordered.

My gaze narrowed as I laid a little harder on the gas. "It's been two weeks, Fury. I'm not going to start badgering him to join until he's ready," I told him. Steve deserved some time to try and collect his thoughts and get used to the modern world before trying to make something of himself. "He's still at the Retreat and I think it's going to be a while before he's ready to move. Give him time."

"Speaking of time, what have you used it to talk about?" Fury asked.

It was his way of asking if I had told him about my previous career choice, which Steve never needed to know about. "None of your damn business," I snapped. Fury let out a deep breath on the other end of the phone. I supposed I could tell him some of the things we'd talked about. "Mostly trying to catch him up on everything that's changed. It's been almost seventy years. That's a long conversation. We seem to keep returning to the Internet. He's enjoyed that so far. I showed him Netflix. I think he's having a good time passing the hours with that."

"What the hell is Netflix?" Fury asked.

"It's a streaming service that started a few years back," I explained.

It was slowly gaining traction. I could see it had the potential to go somewhere. "I see your credit card statements," Fury said. A few years ago Fury had demanded that he see my credit card statements after realizing that I never seemed to run out of money, despite how much I bought. It was shortly after that he realized I had been using S.H.I.E.L.D.'s account for most of my purchases. "You don't have that."

"Sure, I do," I said curiously.

"Whose credit card did you use?" Fury asked tensely.

"Whose do you think?" I chuckled.

It was enough to make Fury snap. "You get paid! You don't even pay rent! We pay your rent!" Fury shouted, his loud voice causing the speakers in the car to crackle. I laughed at his aggravation. This was exactly why I used the company credit card for my purchases. "Why do you constantly use the company credit card to buy your things?"

"Because it annoys you," I chuckled.

"Have you told him at all about what you've spent the last sixty-seven years doing?" Fury asked, probably too annoyed with my spending habits to continue that conversation.

My heart lodged itself in my throat. That wasn't a conversation we ever needed to get into. "I'll get there eventually," I muttered.

"You need to tell him the truth. Before someone else does," Fury warned.

The comment didn't sit well with me. No one was going to tell Steve about what I had done in the almost seventy years we had been apart. As far as he was concerned, I had been upset and done a few bad things and then begun working for S.H.I.E.L.D. where nothing else of interest had happened. He didn't need to know all the nasty truths. He wasn't going to hear them from me and I would be damned if someone else told him. I could see my eyes turn red in the rearview mirror.

If there was one person I didn't trust to keep my past a secret from Steve, it was Fury. "Is that a threat?" I growled.

"It's a warning. He's going to find out one way or another," Fury advised. My heart sank. I was determined to keep the secret, but was it feasible? I wasn't sure. "It's going to sound a lot better coming from you. He trusts you. Don't let that trust get broken."

The easiest thing to do would have been to treat it like a Band-Aid. Tell him quickly and pray that he understood. But what if he didn't? We had been through so much together. He had forgiven me for all the terrible things I had done since I was a little kid. But there had always been some light in me. There had been no light and no goodness in me for most of those years that I was alone. How could someone as good as Steve forgive the things I had done? He had begged me to do something good with my life and I had done the exact opposite.

"I know," I muttered, angry that I had to admit that Fury was right. "I'll say something to him when I figure out how."

"Think quickly," Fury advised.

"Yeah, I know," I snapped as the line went quiet. "Not going to tell me a happy birthday?"

"Stop breaking things we have to pay for," Fury huffed.

He hadn't wished me a happy birthday since we'd met. "Umm... No," I said flatly.

"Tell us how it goes," Fury said.

"Yeah, yeah," I huffed.

He wasn't going to hear anything from me until he stopped being an ass. I leaned forward and hit the screen to end the call as I pushed the engine a little harder. Steve's new home was in upstate New York. Considering how fast I drove, it would only take me about an hour to get to his temporary home in the woods, far away from most people. It was a log cabin that I had always enjoyed. I'd only been there a few times since it had been built but the time I'd spent out there was nice. Quiet. It reminded me of the home I'd almost had.

Just one day after Steve had woken up from his trip in the ice, Fury had made the executive decision to send him to the Retreat. We didn't use the shelter that often but it was the perfect place to keep Steve while the world got used to him being alive. The constant flash of cameras and the massive crowds in the city would be too overwhelming for him. He was already overwhelmed with the idea that he was alive in a completely different time. Steve had quickly asked me if the Retreat was safe, which I had promised him it was.

The Retreat was a log cabin that was lined with a Vibranium alloy. The kitchen was fully equipped with a refrigerator, sink, and microwave. I had made sure that Steve had enough food to survive and anything else he might have needed. The living room had a few couches, however, they were very uncomfortable. I had brought some blankets and cushions to try to make the place a little more comfortable for whatever the duration was that he would be staying here for. He had insisted that he didn't need anything but I knew he didn't like being here.

Anything I could do to make him a little more comfortable, I would do. I had brought some of the extra comforters from my apartment and scattered them over his bed and couch. He had mentioned that he didn't enjoy sleeping on the bed anyway, though. I had to wonder if it was because he had become accustomed to the feel of the ice without even knowing it. I'd been careful to ensure that his apartment was always warm. He had noticed, of course, but hadn't said anything about it. I knew he appreciated it.

There was a computer in one corner of the cabin that had become Steve's main connection to the outside world. I had spent hours upon hours trying to explain to Steve how to use the computer and how the Internet worked. It was something to distract him from his new life. The Retreat had a laser fence that lined the perimeter of the property, keeping everything inside contained. Security cameras showed everything that happened along the area. We had all realized that it would be a safe place for Steve until he was ready to come into the public eye.

Steve had been at the Retreat for a little under two weeks now. I had spent a few nights with him mostly at the beginning of his stay there. It reminded me of the old days. He understandably didn't want to be alone after having spent the last sixty-six years alone. We mostly slept on the couch together after spending hours talking about whatever came to mind. Sometimes about the people that he would start meeting and other times about how the world had changed. The only thing we didn't talk about was my past, not that Steve hadn't tried to get me to talk about it.

Fury, though wrong about many things, was right about one thing. I was going to have to tell him about my past eventually, even though it would ruin things. It would be best if the truth came from me and not someone else. Steve wouldn't be happy about things either way, but the only way he might forgive me was if I told him the truth and explained why I had done what I had. Not that I had the best explanation for my actions anyway. He would never forgive me if I continued to hide the truth.

As I drove through the country, I did everything possible to try and think of ways to reveal the truth about my past, though I didn't like the thought of any of them. So, I settled on turning the radio up and trying to block out my thoughts. I could deal with the truth of my life later. I drove up the road humming to myself and hating the drive. I wanted to bring Steve back to my apartment so I didn't have to keep making the drive. But I also wanted him to stay with me. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel lonely.

Even when I had been surrounded by people, I'd always felt lonely. I had felt lonely for almost seventy years. It took me a little under an hour to get to the Retreat. I scanned my agent badge under the laser to turn off the security system long enough to allow me through. I waited for the gate to open just enough to squeeze through before driving inside. I sped up the driveway toward the small wooden cabin and laid on the horn for a moment to warn Steve that I was coming to see him. I didn't want to startle him.

It seemed that I hadn't needed to warn him. He was already outside, raking the front yard from the fallen leaves. It was the first time I had seen him outside of the Retreat since he'd moved here. He glanced up as I pulled into the driveway. "Nice car," Steve commented.

As he hadn't been outside, he hadn't seen the car yet. "Thanks," I chirped. I hopped out of the car and closed the door behind me. "It was a present from S.H.I.E.L.D."

Steve smiled at me, not realizing that I had lied about the car, as we met in the middle of the driveway. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I leaned my head onto his shoulder, hugging him tightly around his midsection. The one thing we had begun doing was hugging each other protectively every time we saw each other. It reminded me that he was here. It wasn't just in my mind. It had all started the day I had gotten him back. When we had shared our first hug after I had gotten him back I hadn't let go of him for a long time.

It seemed to have taken hours but I had finally managed to get the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to give us some time to ourselves. Steve was being moved to the Retreat in the morning. We would be staying in the building - out of the public eye - tonight. Standing barely an inch apart, Steve and I walked into one of the small housing units and I closed the door behind us, scowling at some of the security agents who were keeping guard outside the door. We turned to each other, staring right into the other's eyes. I could see how pale and overwhelmed Steve was.

He didn't speak as I launched myself into his arms. My patience had been tested for long enough. It had been almost impossible for me to wait until we were alone just so I could do this. I had to hug him and I couldn't do that with the agents and Fury watching me. I had a hard-ass reputation to uphold. None of them were used to seeing me lose my composure around them. It was one thing for me to lose my temper and throw something or kill someone, but I had never let them see me cry or be weak.

Steve seemed shocked at my sudden reaction as I had been mostly stern and teasing since he had seen me. His body was stiff for a moment before he reached up and wrapped his arms around my back. Tightly. So tight that he would have broken something were I a normal person. I could feel his body trembling from head to toe. I wondered if he was going to start crying. I wouldn't have blamed him. Tears were already on the verge of falling for me. We were locked together for so long that the sun had now set.

"I wasn't expecting that," Steve whispered into my hair.

I didn't want to release him but I knew if I didn't let go of Steve now, I never would. So, I released him and brushed away the tears that were about to fall. "I - I'm sorry," I stammered, taking a few steps back. "I had to be careful with what I said or did with you around them. They know me as a hard-ass. I couldn't look soft around them."

Steve nodded. "I understand."

"How are you doing?" I asked carefully.

It was a stupid question and I wasn't the first person to ask him, but I had a feeling that I was the only person he would give the true answer to. "I'm not sure," Steve muttered.

"That makes sense. It's a hard pill to swallow," I said.

"But I'll have to swallow it," Steve answered.

I'd learned a long time ago that I couldn't go back to the places I wanted to be. "Yes. We can't go back in time. Honey, I would love to turn back time. You know that," I told Steve, resting a hand on his bicep. He nodded slowly. "Unfortunately, I can't do that. No one can do that. All we can do is move forward, however we can do that."

Steve let out a breath. "I'll uh - I'll work on it."

It was the least confident I had seen Steve since before he'd undergone the super-soldier serum. "Hey, you're not alone. I'm gonna be right here with you. I'll help you with whatever you need," I promised.

Steve smiled weakly. "Thanks, Vic."

I smiled back, feeling my lips waver. The smile didn't feel right, but being with him did. "It's really good to have you back, Steve," I said, hearing my voice crack.

"It's good to be back, Vic," Steve said.

We stood together and faced each other with weak smiles on our faces. This would be tough but we were supposed to be together. I knew that we were both close to tears as Steve took my hand and tugged me back into him, right where I was supposed to be. He pressed his mouth into my hair as I held him tight against myself. Things may have been awful in my life for a long time, but I finally had one of the most important people in the world back in my life. And I wasn't planning on letting him go anytime soon.

In the present, Steve and I remained wrapped together for a long time. I supposed I was afraid of letting him go and having him vanish. I was happy to see him again. I'd hated not seeing him yesterday as I had been far too busy to come out here. I'd felt lately that every time I walked away from Steve that he would vanish overnight. When he finally let me go, I smiled up at him, determined to not let him know that I wasn't okay. I also wondered if he knew what today was. He hadn't kept a calendar since waking up. I was relatively certain that seeing what year it was bothered him.

"Happy birthday, Vic," Steve said, taking my hand.

My lips turned up in a grin. He did know. "I'm impressed you remembered," I laughed. Steve smiled. "Sweetie, you don't have to tell me that. I'm ninety-one years old. I've heard it enough over the years."

Steve and I both laughed at my admission that I was now pushing a century of life. "So? I've always liked birthdays and I haven't been around for most of them," Steve said.

"I know."

"I got you something."

My eyebrow quirked upward. "You got me something?" I asked. Steve nodded. "I didn't know you'd left here."

"I didn't. I went on that website you told me about. Amazon?"

Something about that idea amused me. I'd explained online shopping to Steve but I hadn't thought he'd picked up on it. "You ordered something from Amazon?" I asked disbelievingly.

Steve shrugged bashfully. "Well, I tried. I think I did it wrong."

How the hell did someone order something incorrectly from Amazon? "How?" I asked.

Steve ran a hand nervously over the back of his neck. "One of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents delivered the package to me the other day." I still didn't understand what he was talking about. I followed him into the cabin and into the living room, where there were dozens of leather-bound journals sitting on his coffee table. I barked out a manic laugh. "I don't know why they sent me that many," Steve muttered over my laughter.

"How many times did you hit 'confirm order'?" I asked breathlessly.

"A few times," Steve said. He looked extremely bashful as I howled with laughter. "It didn't look like it was loading!"

Right... I probably should have explained the concept of lag to him. "You have to give it time!" I said. I continued laughing as I picked up one of the journals, turning it over in my hands. "Oh, man. Fury will be pissed when he finds out about this." Steve looked at me worriedly. "Don't worry, he won't blame you. He'll blame me for telling you about Amazon and giving you the credit card information. He's already mad at me for breaking a thirty-thousand dollar camera this morning."

Steve didn't look worried anymore. He looked confused. "What did you break a thirty-thousand dollar camera for? And what kind of camera costs that much?" he asked in shock.

"A television camera. It was someone from one of the news stations that hang around outside my apartment. The man was asking me about you," I explained.

"They're all asking you about me, aren't they?" Steve asked.

"Yes. They're not hearing anything until you're ready."

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready."

"I understand."

At least I had lived those sixty-six years. I had seen the world change. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to wake up in a completely different time than the one I'd gone under in. "I'm not sure what I would say," Steve admitted. "I don't know if I've come to terms with what my life has become."

"Trust me when I say I understand that. It can be hard to come to terms with a new reality," I told him. Steve sighed as I looked down at the leather-bound journal and smiled. It reminded me of a present I had given him years ago. "I like the journal, by the way. I'm sure I can figure out a way to fill them all."

Steve laughed. "I'm glad you like them."

We wandered over to the couch and I dropped the journal on the coffee table, opening Steve's computer and going to open one of the news webpages. It was how we talked about modern-day. We listened to news stories and I explained what was going on based on whatever they were talking about. We would usually stop after a few hours and I would then answer any questions he had about the past. At least, the ones I was comfortable with answering. But now Steve stopped me from bringing up the news.

"What's wrong?" I asked curiously.

This had become our routine. I knew something was wrong if he was stopping me. "Vic, I don't want to talk about modern-day anymore," Steve said. I raised an eyebrow as nerves set in. The look on his face didn't sit right with me. "I don't want to talk about the Internet, or the wars, or what your favorite kind of new food is. I want to talk about you."

I'd known this was coming. "Me? You know me," I teased.

"I knew you almost seventy years ago," Steve pointed out. "A lot of things had to have happened over those last few decades."

"Sure, but none of it's that interesting," I lied.

My past was likely extremely interesting, but I wasn't ready to divulge it just yet. "You didn't do one interesting thing over the last seventy years?" Steve asked disbelievingly.

"Nothing worth mentioning," I said, shrugging.

"I don't buy that," Steve said.

"I'm not spending the next seventy years going over everything I've done while you were in the ice," I told Steve as sternly as possible without alerting him that something was wrong. I chuckled uncomfortably, pushing my hair behind my ears. "Trust me, Steve, the present is a lot more interesting."

"Why don't you want to talk about it?" Steve pushed.

"Because it wasn't always easy!" I shouted, losing my temper for a moment. I let out a breath to try and calm myself down, tucking my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "All right? Let it go. Please. I don't always like remembering the days that I was alone with nothing and no one to turn to."

That caught Steve's attention. "You were alone?" he asked. Shit. I hadn't meant to let that out, but I supposed he would have found out that I hadn't remained with our friends during the rest of their lives eventually. "What about -?"

"Alone, Steve," I interrupted sharply. "I didn't drag them into my problems."

"What do you mean, your problems?" Steve asked.

"Exactly what I said," I growled. "There were a lot of problems after you two... after what happened." I never could say what had happened to them. "I knew that Roosevelt would spin the story the way he wanted, which was exactly what he did. He told the rest of the world that I was responsible for your deaths and they believed him. It was easy, after all. It wasn't unbelievable to think that I could have done that. I became a monster and I couldn't be that character with the few people left I cared about so close to me."

That was as close to the truth as I cared to get with Steve. "What did you do?" he asked carefully.

"I walked away and lived out my life in solitude," I answered plainly; another half-truth.

"You didn't have them?" Steve asked carefully. "For all that time, you didn't have your friends?"

"No," I said.

"And no one else ever -?"

"No."

It was the end of the conversation. I didn't want to talk about it any longer. It didn't take me long to realize that Steve was giving me a long look. His face was full of concern, likely for my well-being. I knew that he had been hoping that I'd had a more positive past. I felt a little stab of disappointment with myself. I hadn't meant to let the truth come out about my past so quickly and suddenly. I didn't say much but I had said just enough for him to get an idea of what my past had been like. Steve was giving me a scrutinizing stare.

"What?" I snapped irritably.

"So, you never…" Steve trailed off.

He was just as awkward as he was in the forties. "Married?" I asked, filling in the blanks.

Steve nodded bashfully. "Yeah."

"No," I said.

"Never?" Steve asked disbelievingly.

"No."

"Did you ever consider it?"

"Sure, I did. I even came pretty close back in nineteen forty-five," I teased.

A bitter smile crept across his lips. I'd come so close with Bucky. No one else could have held up. "That's not what I meant and you know that. After him... was there ever anyone else? Did anyone ever come close?" Steve asked.

I smiled vaguely. "No one ever came as close as he did."

"Sorry to hear that," Steve mumbled.

We smiled at each other. Marriage wasn't in the cards for me. Even back then it never had been. "Don't feel bad. It wasn't something I ever wanted once I lost him," I told him.

"But you never thought about being with someone?" Steve asked. "I just -"

"What's wrong with never getting married? Plenty of people don't," I hissed.

Just because I'd never gotten married didn't mean that I'd lived my life as an old spinster. I'd found a way to entertain myself. "I know that, but I also know that you wouldn't go seeking company out," Steve pointed out.

"So?"

"I don't like the idea of you being alone for all those years."

"Who said I was alone?" I shot back.

It took Steve a moment to realize what the playful grin on my face was for. I'd never had trouble getting company for the night. Steve covered his eyes and groaned in disgust. "Okay, that wasn't what I needed to hear," Steve said.

"The sexual revolution of the nineteen-sixties. It was great. I've got to get you to read up on that," I chuckled, leaning back against the couch.

Steve shook his head. "No, thank you."

"The world's changed a lot, Steve. Don't blame me for changing with it," I said.

Steve's face turned red with embarrassment and what I imagined was shame. "I'm not," he said quietly. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that."

I grinned, glad I had changed the subject. "I know."

"You know that I wouldn't judge you for whatever you've done, right?" Steve asked carefully.

Just like that, we were back to square one. Something about Steve's comment didn't sit well with me. He didn't know how far his comment extended. It wasn't just the company I had kept at night. There was a lot he had to try not judging me for. "Yeah, of course. You never were one to judge people," I said slowly.

We were silent for a moment before Steve spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you ever have kids?"

That was a good joke. Kids and I didn't mix. "No. Never wanted them."

"No?" Steve asked curiously. "I seem to remember hearing you and -"

"Do me a favor and stop that comment right there," I sneered.

The last thing I needed to hear was the plans I had once had with my long-deceased fiancé Particularly not those plans. I didn't want to think about the life I could have had with him. I didn't want to think about what I had lost. I had finally begun getting over what had happened that day so many years ago if there was such a thing. I didn't want to think about the depression and fury I had experienced following his death. It was easier to pretend that it had never happened as I had for so many years.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked.

In the reflection of the glass on the side table, I could see that my eyes had turned red. "I don't need to hear his name. I don't want to hear his name," I said, swallowing thickly as I waved him off. "Just drop it."

A worried look turned up on Steve's face. He had always known me to love our deceased friend. "Did something -?"

"Please, I don't want to talk about him," I interrupted.

"Why not?" Steve asked. I scowled at him. "We didn't talk about it before I went into the ice. Let's talk about it now."

There was a reason I hadn't talked about his death with Steve before he'd gone in the ice. It was too painful to talk about then and still too painful to talk about. "Let's not," I countered. "For you, it's been a few weeks. For me, it's been sixty-seven years. Enough people have said it. It's pathetic to still be mourning someone so long after their death so I just don't think about it."

Steve looked heartbroken to know just how much Bucky's death was still affecting me. It hadn't stopped, not since I'd lost him. "I don't think it's pathetic that you're still mourning him. You were in love with him," Steve said.

"Yes, I was," I replied.

Steve let out a deep breath as he reached over and laid a hand on my leg. "That was the one thing I regretted just before the impact with the ice. I hated the thought of leaving you alone while you were in the middle of mourning him. It felt a little selfish," Steve said.

If there was one thing Steve's actions weren't, it was selfish. "It was anything but selfish," I told him. "I know that now. You were doing the only thing you could to save the world."

"But I gave something up for it," Steve said.

"You gave your life. It's the ultimate sacrifice."

Steve shook his head. "Not really. I thought I was giving my life. When I was going into the ice I thought that... I didn't want to die but I was okay with it. I had accepted that I was doing something good for the world," Steve said. I smiled weakly at him. I had felt his sense of peace he'd had just before his supposed death. "I didn't even bother thinking that I might survive the crash and I certainly didn't expect that if I did survive the crash I would wake up in a different time."

"Things are a little different now," I teased.

"Just a little bit," Steve replied. We chuckled as I leaned back against the couch. "You're a little bit different too."

"It's hard not to change over seventy years," I answered nonchalantly.

"You look happier," he continued.

"It would have been hard to be more upset than I was the last time we saw each other," I pointed out. Steve and I both laughed. I'd hit one of my darkest points just before Steve's crash, though it had gotten darker. "Trust me, Steve, I'm happier now because you're back. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was learn to live without you both."

"What did you do?" Steve asked.

He was trying to goad me into telling him the truth about my past. He knew that I was hiding something. I still wasn't ready to admit the truth but I supposed I could tell him something. "Took off for a little while to try and ride out the storm. I knew that Roosevelt would pin the deaths on me and I couldn't risk that falling back on everyone else, so I did what he wanted. I vanished," I answered half-truthfully.

I hadn't tried to make myself known but the media had followed my story. "When did you come back?" Steve asked.

"Here and there a few times over the years," I told him, which was the truth. "It took a while for me to fully come back into the spotlight."

Steve nodded. "They seem to rely on you."

A mad laugh escaped me. They would have been pathetic without me. "It's easy to become dependent on someone who can read minds and control others. They've gotten used to having me around. They just watch out when it comes to talking to me. No one wants to annoy the all-powerful mutant in the event she retaliates," I explained. They weren't fond of me but they did know that I was the reason they had been so lucky on missions. Steve laughed and rested his hand against my knee again. "Whether or not they trust me is another situation."

Very few people in S.H.I.E.L.D. trusted me. "It looks like Fury trusts you," Steve said.

Trust wasn't the best word for what we had. I didn't know what it was that we had. "We have a... interesting relationship," I said. It was the best way to describe my relationship with Fury. "We've known each other for years and it can be tough to get along sometimes. We have similar personalities."

Steve chuckled. "I can tell."

"Fury's a good guy and he cares about the people. That's what matters," I said honestly. Fury was kind of prickly but I knew he wanted to do the right thing. "He just drives me up the damn wall."

"I can see why," Steve said. I laughed as I picked up my soda and took a long slug of it. We sat in silence for a while longer before Steve spoke again. "Did you help found S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"No. Chester, Peggy, and Howard did. I wasn't working with them yet. I was still in hiding and taking care of myself," I answered. Steve nodded. It was the perfect opportunity for the truth but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Not yet. "I guess I started working with them a few years later. S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't that interesting."

"It seems pretty interesting," Steve said.

"It's not," I countered.

"So, what is interesting?"

"Modern-day," I said, desperate to change the subject. I hated talking to him about myself. "The Internet is fascinating. Online shopping is great. You don't even have to leave the house to buy whatever you need."

"Vic..." Steve said quietly.

"What?"

"I want to talk about him."

A lump formed in my throat. I couldn't talk about him. There were very few times over the years I had talked about him. I let out a deep breath as I looked Steve in the eyes. "Why? Why do you need to talk about him? It's over," I said desperately.

"It's like you said. It's been almost seventy years for you. It's barely been a few weeks for me. I guess I'm still trying to process it. I lost my best friend. I lost the woman I loved. I lost the new family I'd made in London," Steve said. I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to keep from getting sick. We had both lost so much but I supposed I hadn't thought about it like that. "Now it feels like I've lost you. You always lit up whenever you talked about him. Or, I saw something in you."

Of course. He thought that bringing up Bucky and talking about him would bring me back to the way I had been in the forties. But that woman was long gone. "You haven't lost me, Steve. I'm right here," I said defensively.

"But you're not the same," Steve pointed out. "It's like you have this wall up and no one can get through it."

"That's me. That's the way I've always been," I argued.

Steve shook his head. "Not to this extent. Not to me."

My core temperature was heating up as I found myself getting tenser. "Don't make this into something more than it is, Steve," I said, waving off his concern. "It's been a long time since we last saw each other. It's been a long time since I was close to someone the way I was with either one of you."

"And I want to be close to you again."

"So do I but you're not making it easy. We can drop the past. Let's just move on."

"Why are you so hesitant to talk about anything that happened to you?" Steve asked. I looked him in the eyes but didn't speak. "Tell me something. Tell me something about what you did after he was gone."

"Nothing," I lied. "I mourned."

"That doesn't sound right."

Naturally. He knew me well enough to know that I had done something more than mourn quietly. "Okay, I got a little angry and did a few things that maybe I shouldn't have," I admitted quietly. That seemed to have finally caught his attention. "But time moved on and I got over it."

Steve raised his eyebrows curiously. "You got over it?"

"Yes."

"Vic -"

"Drop it, please."

"If you tell me one honest thing that's happened to you over the last seventy years," Steve pushed.

That was where my patience snapped. "I loved him!" I shouted. Steve jumped as a blast of flames shot off my hands and burned from the tips of my hair. "Okay? I loved him and I lost him and it devastated me. When I left I did some questionable things. But I realized what I was doing and I stopped and I never went back to it. I just... I don't want to talk about him because it brings me right back to those days. When I felt like I didn't have any other choices."

Steve's face turned down in a frown. I knew he felt guilty for pushing me beyond my limits. He leaned forward and took my hand in his, unafraid of burning himself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed," Steve muttered. I shrugged my shoulders. "I didn't think about how you might have handled things after we were gone."

"Not well," I admitted.

"But you stopped. That's what matters," Steve said.

Because he didn't know the whole truth... "Yeah," I mumbled.

"Thanks for telling me," Steve said guiltily.

"Thanks for being an ass about it," I snapped.

Maybe this was as far as the truth needed to go. I looked over at Steve and smiled as he laughed at my comment. Now that I had told him the 'truth' he would drop it. If someone brought up the truth about my past it wouldn't matter. I had told Steve enough of a truth that he wouldn't be able to tell that I had left out a massive chunk of my past. Steve threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. I laughed nervously and curled against his side, tucking my knees to my chest and resting my head on his shoulder.

We sat in silence for a long time. I finally felt comfortable being around him, knowing that we were back on the right path toward our old friendship. "I meant what I told you before, you know? I have missed you," I said truthfully.

"It doesn't always seem like it," Steve answered.

"There are plenty of days I'd like to put your head through those walls," I told him. Steve let out a bark of laughter at my honesty. "But that doesn't change the fact that you've always been my best friend. Life without you was terrible. It broke my heart to lose you both. If I couldn't have him back, I'm glad to at least have you."

"You always will. Always," Steve said, gripping my knee tightly.

I leaned up and pressed a kiss against Steve's cheek, gently pushing off of him. "Okay, I feel like we're two little girls gossiping about their first crushes. Enough of this," I said, waving at the air around us.

Steve laughed again. "You should stay tonight."

After our brief yet heated conversation, I needed to go back to my apartment for some peace and quiet. "Yeah, I don't get that option. Some of us have things we need to do," I teased.

"Like?" Steve asked.

"Working. I have a job, you know? A job that you could have too."

"I'm considering it."

"Considering?" I asked.

S.H.I.E.L.D. would be about a thousand times better if Steve worked there with me. Working there was getting old these days. "I'll get there, Vic. It's just that it's a big world out there," Steve said.

"Speaking of the world, thinking about joining it anytime soon?" I asked.

He didn't necessarily have to join S.H.I.E.L.D. right away, but it would be nice to go out to a pizza place with Steve. It would be nice to finally get a chance to go out with someone who wasn't terrified of me killing them. "I should have known it wouldn't be that easy to get out of that conversation," Steve said. We both laughed. "I know that I'm going to have to. I can't sit here and dream about the past forever. This is my life now. It's just been a little harder than I expected to get used to the idea."

He hadn't had that long to get used to the idea that he didn't live in the forties anymore. It was a different world. "It's only been a few weeks. No one expected you to adjust that quickly," I pointed out. "I just want to make sure you're not planning on making this your permanent residence."

Steve chuckled under his breath. "No. This place is nice but it's a little lonely."

"You know where's less lonely?" I prompted.

"With you in the middle of New York City?" Steve asked, filling in the blanks.

"Come on, soldier. I'll protect you. The world's not that scary," I teased.

Naturally, just as I had said that a large blackish-blue cloud formed not far from where we were perched on the couch. Steve let out a gasp as he launched himself from the couch, almost knocking me from it. Steve took a defensive position, about ready to attack our new guest when I reached up and took his arm, stopping him from getting into a fight he couldn't win. I laughed as I watched the humanoid figure form from the cloud. I smiled at Kurt Wagner as his gaze moved to Steve and me.

Kurt was hanging from the kitchen cabinet for a few moments before dropping to the ground in a true mutant form. Steve's eyes were wide with shock. I could see why he looked terrified. I likely would have been too if I didn't know who Kurt was. He looked almost like a blue devil with his spiked ears and a forked tail. Though his yellow eyes were extremely familiar. Kurt's eyes tracked over to me as he smiled, his fanged teeth peeking out from behind his lips. Steve still looked ready to attack.

I walked forward and pressed a hand against Steve's shoulder. "Calm down," I told him, turning to regard Kurt. "Hi, Kurt."

"Hey, Vic," Kurt greeted in his thick Bavarian accent. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks," I said quietly. "How did you know I was here?"

"How else?"

I smiled. "Charles." He gave away my position all the time. "How is he?" I asked.

"He misses you. He wants you to come home," Kurt answered.

It had been a long time since I had worked with the X-Men. I loved them but I had moved on. I belonged with S.H.I.E.L.D. now. "This is my home now, Kurt," I said.

If they ever needed me, I would return. But the X-Men were in my past. "We know," Kurt answered respectfully. "Just don't -"

"I couldn't ever forget about you guys," I interrupted.

The X-Men had been my first family in a long time. I would never truly leave them. Kurt smiled as his gaze finally turned to Steve. Steve swallowed thickly. "This must be the great Captain America," Kurt said with great interest.

"It is. Kurt, this is Steve Rogers. Steve, this is Kurt. He's a mutant," I explained.

"I noticed," Steve chuckled.

"We used to train together sometimes at Charles' mansion," I continued to Steve. "Charles is a very powerful mutant - he's a telepath, like me. He opened up a school for mutants to learn to hone their powers back in the sixties."

"Good to meet you," Kurt said. He leaned over and shook Steve's hand. I smiled at them, watching Steve's white hand take Kurt's blue one. Steve never did let the idea of mutants bother him. "We've always been curious to meet the world's first super-soldier. You're a mutant in your own right, but they love you."

Kurt was more interested than angry but I could see where Steve's concern was coming from. "Because they created him," I pointed out. Steve still looked shocked at Kurt's sudden comment and nervous. "Relax, we're just chatting. What are you doing here?"

"We all wanted to see him," Kurt answered.

"Should I expect the rest of the gang to show up here?" I asked.

Kurt chuckled. I couldn't imagine what this place would look like with the rest of the X-Men overrunning it. "No. The rest of them can't get in here," Kurt pointed out. I shrugged. That wasn't necessarily true. Many of them would have been able to get in with minimal effort. "Can we expect you to show up there?"

"No," I said.

"Come on. Charles misses you," Kurt said.

One of these days I would have to drop by the mansion again. "I'll come to visit eventually," I promised.

"Don't take long. We all miss you," Kurt said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I growled. They were all pains in the asses that I would deal with later. "Get out. You're not supposed to be here."

"Just wanted to check it out," Kurt chuckled, looking around.

"Was it all you were expecting?" I teased.

"Even more," Kurt said, looking back at Steve.

We both laughed as Kurt walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my midsection. I smiled at Kurt and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. We stood together for a few moments before Kurt released me. He looked at Steve for a moment as he grinned, his sharp teeth flashing through his blue lips. I knew that Steve was trying not to give away his nerves as he nodded at Kurt politely. Kurt's body went up in a flash of black smoke as he left the cabin to return to Charles' mansion. I chuckled as I turned back to Steve.

He was still staring at the black smoke. "Who was that?" Steve asked breathlessly.

"Kurt Wagner," I answered.

"So I've heard," Steve answered, scowling at me. I smiled back at him. "You know what I meant."

"Well, Kurt was born in Bavaria to a mutant named Mystique. You would have known her as Raven," I explained.

"The little girl from the base?" Steve asked.

"That's her. Like most of us, Kurt was shunned at birth due to his appearance. Raven was disguised as Baroness Wagner but her true identity was revealed after she gave birth to Kurt, and the pair were chased by an angry mob. They fled to the nearby falls and Raven threw the infant Kurt over the edge and fled," I explained.

"She tried to kill him?" Steve asked, horrified.

"No. She was just desperate to save herself. Raven took a path that unfortunately many of us do. Kurt was saved by his natural father, another mutant named Azazel, and given into the care of Margali Szardos, a sorceress and gypsy queen. Margali took Kurt to the small Bavarian circus where she worked as a fortune-teller as a cover for her activities as a sorceress. Kurt was raised by all the members of the circus, who had no prejudices against freaks.

"He grew up happily enough in the circus with his two closest friends, Margali's natural children Stefan and Jimaine. Stefan feared that his magical heritage may one day corrupt him, and so he had Kurt promise that if he ever killed without reason for Kurt to stop him. During his youth, Kurt exhibited tremendous natural agility and quickly became the circus's star acrobat and trapeze artist with audiences assuming that he was simply a normal human dressed in a demon costume.

"Kurt worked closely with Jimaine, and they got together not long after. Years later, the Texas millionaire Amos Jardine, who ran a large circus based in Florida, heard of the circus Kurt worked for and bought it. Jardine intended to move its best acts into his American circus. However, he demanded that Kurt be placed in the circus' freak show, where he was imprisoned against his will and drugged to remain complacent. Eventually, I came across him in a mutant fighting ring. They used to be extremely popular.

"At the time all I did was save him and help give him a name. Nightcrawler. Once he was gone I told Charles Xavier about him and that I thought he would make a good addition to the team. Kurt ran away and made his way back to Germany where he discovered that Stefan had gone mad and had brutally slain several members of a lost race of half-human creatures. Kurt found Stefan and fought him, hoping to stop his rampage, but in the course of the struggle, Kurt unintentionally broke Stefan's neck.

"The villagers of the nearby town discovered Kurt and assumed him to be a demon who was responsible for the killings. They cornered Kurt in the town and were about to kill him when they were all psionically paralyzed by Charles, who had searched for Kurt on my recommendation. He had come to recruit Kurt into his team of mutant super-heroes known as the X-Men. That's what Kurt was talking about. He agreed to join the group, but before they left for America, the two went to the Bavarian circus so that Kurt could explain to Margali about Stefan's death.

"Unfortunately, Margali was not there, and for years she held Kurt responsible for murdering Stefan. Later, she learned the truth and she and Kurt were reconciled. Kurt was also happily reunited with Jimaine, who had been living in the United States under the assumed name of Amanda Sefton. They aren't together anymore, but they do still care for each other. I've known Kurt for... oh, I don't know. Maybe forty years or so now," I explained.

"It gives you a headache just thinking about it," Steve said.

"We all have our stories," I replied. "All complicated and long and most not very pretty."

"Should I expect that to happen frequently?" Steve asked.

I laughed, crossing the room. "Sorry about them. They like to drop in unannounced. They get bored," I explained.

The mutants had never been known to have the best boundaries. "At a school for mutants?" Steve asked curiously.

He knew about my desire to one day train and protect mutants. I had never gotten there, but I was glad that Charles had taken care of them. "Yeah. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. The only academy dedicated to teaching mutants from around the world to hone and control their powers. If you're interested, I'll tell you about it later," I said, tired from our earlier discussion.

Steve grinned. "Now that sounds interesting."

Anything to get him to stop asking me about my past. I laughed and said, "A conversation for tomorrow then."

"I can't convince you to stay?" Steve asked sadly.

It would have been nice to stay with Steve tonight but I needed to be alone for a while. "Not tonight. I've got a few things to do." In reality, I felt too overwhelmed to hang around here. I had so much hidden in my past that Steve could ask me about and I knew that it would be happening all night if I stayed here. I wasn't ready for that. I just wanted to move on. "But I'll be back tomorrow," I promised.

Steve nodded, smiling at me. "See you tomorrow."

"Call me if you need anything," I told him.

"I will," Steve said.

No matter what, I would be here in a heartbeat if Steve needed something. I pressed a kiss against Steve's cheek as I turned and walked away. I headed out the front door of the Retreat and back to my car. Steve watched me from the doorway as I climbed into my car and waved at him, pulling out of the driveway and laying on the horn for a moment. Steve shot me another wave as I slammed on the gas and roared down the road, back toward my apartment building. It was a little overwhelming being at the Retreat today.

Deep down I knew that the right thing to do would have been to admit to Steve what my past had consisted of, but I had too afraid to lose him now that I had him back. He was my best friend and I had him back after almost seventy years of being apart. I stared at the winding road as I drove full-speed toward my apartment where I was planning on falling face-first into my bed to desperately try and forget the events of the day. In the morning I could try and plan on how to make Steve forget about asking about my past.

Maybe I could get him to focus on Charles' school for mutants. He had seemed interested to learn about it. More than once I saw the flashing of police lights behind me as I shot down the road at well over a hundred miles an hour but I ignored them, instead, slipping into the minds of the officers and forcing them to stay away. They all turned back in the other direction. The last thing I needed right now was a speeding ticket. Fury would lose his mind if I got one. Or if I killed a cop because they tried to give me one...

It ended up taking me barely half an hour to get back to my apartment building. This was the only place I wanted to be right now. I just wished that I could get blackout drunk in the meantime. Unfortunately, that had never been an option. I couldn't stand thinking about the time in my life that I didn't have either one of my two best friends. Very few pieces of my life after their deaths were pleasant. Those near seventy years weren't worth it to think about. They were nothing more than a nightmare and not one that I cared to dig up.

The first thing I saw as I roared up to the sidewalk was a chuckling Brock Rumlow. I got out of the car and headed toward the lobby of the building. "You know, Fury wants you to return that," Rumlow commented.

"Fury can bite me," I snarled. "What do you want?"

Rumlow hung around far more often than I would have liked, but his team lived two apartment buildings down. I couldn't be surprised that I saw him all the time. Rumlow grinned at me and said, "What's the answer to my question?"

"What question?" I asked huffily.

"How about a date?" Rumlow asked.

A date... Was he kidding? He was still asking me for a date? The last thing I wanted to do was go on a date. I turned to Rumlow and rolled my eyes. "Rumlow, it's the same answer you've got every day for the last five years. No," I said.

We weren't going on a date. I wasn't going on a date with anyone anytime soon. I didn't date. Rumlow laughed heartily, having to run after me with my quick pace. "Come on!" He chuckled again as he bounded in front of me. I was about ready to throw him away from me. "As long as I've known you, you never accept offers for dates," Rumlow pointed out.

Correct he was. "I don't date," I said.

"Why not?" Rumlow asked.

"Not interested," I replied.

Rumlow thought on it for a moment before saying, "What about something a little more casual?"

I'd had that comment coming from a mile away. I looked at Rumlow with an even face as he raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Classy," I deadpanned at him.

Rumlow grinned. "That's not a no."

We looked at each other for a moment as I thought about it. Was it worth it? I didn't like Rumlow that much. He was kind of funny and had the occasional interesting moments. He was tough, which I did like. The longer I looked at Rumlow the more I realized that he was attractive. He was the type of person that I normally would have been attracted to. I had always known that he was good-looking. But there was also the issue that I had long ago been moderately good friends with his father.

It seemed a little odd to sleep with someone when I had been friends with their father. It might have been pushing the boundaries, though I had been known to do that before. It was odd but it might have been interesting to give it a shot. I would have been somewhat interested to see what Rumlow was like in bed. He seemed like he would be tough enough to entertain me. I would just have to make sure no one was around to ask me about our relationship, of which there was absolutely none.

The idea of sleeping with someone casually didn't bother me. I had been doing that for about sixty years. Though Bucky had been one of the only men I'd ever remained with, I'd had plenty of men passing in the night. I had meant what I'd told Steve. I was never alone. It had always been easy to find some company for the night. People already thought horribly of me. They had for almost a century. I didn't care what they thought if they knew about my comings and goings with the opposite gender.

"That's a... we'll see," I said slowly.

Rumlow gave me a brilliant smile. I knew I would regret not denying him immediately. "I'm taking that as a yes," he said. I stared at him and grabbed his shirt, yanking his body into mine. "See? Now, this I like."

"Shut up," I snapped. "We'll talk about it. And if you ever tell anyone, I'll gouge your eyes out."

Rumlow swallowed thickly as my eyes flashed black. I meant what I'd said. I would make him beg for death if he ever repeated this to anyone. "You know how to turn a guy on, Victoria," Rumlow said slowly.

"I know," I chirped, releasing him and turning away.

"Happy birthday, by the way," Rumlow called after me.

I turned back to him and smirked. "Thanks."

"Want to celebrate?" Rumlow offered.

"Not with you," I said slowly.

Potentially being with Rumlow would take some serious thought. I smirked at him again as shot a blast of flames into his hand. He gasped in pain and jumped away from me as I chuckled, turning away again and leaving. I might have been in a sour mood but hurting and harassing Rumlow did make me feel a little bit better. It had for the past five years. Rumlow called an obscenity after me and I flipped him off as I slipped into the apartment building, closing the door behind me. I went to the stairs and sprinted up toward my apartment.

On the fourteenth floor, I walked into my apartment and looked around, closing the door behind me and gently leaning back against the doorframe, letting out a deep breath. I was more overwhelmed from my visit with Steve than I had been expecting to be. Perhaps it was because this was the first time Steve had mentioned Bucky to me since he'd woken up. I knew that he was walking on eggshells around me before this. He hadn't wanted to bring it up. Now he had and it seemed to have opened up the floodgates.

I'd underestimated just how much I missed my former fiancé. I gently leaned up from the doorframe and walked into the bedroom. I dropped against the fluffy bed and stared at the pictures of Bucky sitting on the dresser. I felt my body begin to tremble as I stared at him, wishing so desperately that he was here. I wished that I could feel him at my side and hear him laugh. I didn't realize that I was crying until I felt the tear splash against my arm. I forced myself to reach up and wipe the tears from my eyes.

This wasn't the time to be upset. "You don't look happy."

My head snapped up at the teasing voice. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't even noticed Logan walk into my bedroom. I knew that he had been in the area for the past few days but he hadn't mentioned whether or not he would drop by and visit me. It seemed that he had decided to. I scowled at him. He never knocked before he came into my house. He didn't need to. We had known each other long enough and had gotten comfortable enough with each other to walk into the other's life whenever we needed it.

"Why are you here?" I growled at my friend.

"I was in the area and thought I'd pay you a visit," Logan answered, sauntering into the room.

Whenever either one of us was ever in the other's area we always made it a point to visit the other. I'd gone to see Logan not long after Bucky's death and had continued to see him at least once every three years. We'd kept in contact with each other through our mind links even during the long durations when we couldn't see each other in person. I wasn't exactly sure what I could call Logan. He was my friend but we drove each other up the damn wall. We'd found physical comfort in the other numerous times, but we'd never been in love with one another.

"More like you want something," I commented.

Logan leaned over and grabbed the remote control sitting on the edge of my bed, turning the television to the national news. As usual, it was about Steve's reemergence. "It's been all over the news," Logan said, motioning to the screen. "Your friend seems to have arisen from the grave."

I snatched the remote back and turned the television off as Logan flopped onto the bed, kicking his booted feet up onto the white comforter. I scowled at him again. We had no boundaries with each other. "Get your disgusting fucking feet off my bed," I snarled, tearing at his ankles so hard I would have broken a normal man's legs.

"Testy," Logan teased, putting his feet back up onto the bed. "About your friend?"

"Do you have to phrase it like that?" I asked irritably.

"You've never been one to mind people's feelings," Logan pointed out.

Any argument I'd had died on my tongue. I wanted to snap back at him but he was right. "Fair," I mumbled, pushing Logan's legs to the side and placing myself next to him. His hand landed comfortingly on my thigh, higher than anyone else would have dared. I smiled weakly at him. He tucked his hand under my chin, knowing how upset I was. "Yeah, he's staying at the Retreat. It's a safe-house built by Bruce Banner a while back. I'm hoping he'll decide to rejoin society soon but I don't think he's quite ready for it yet."

Logan shrugged. "Understandable, considering how long it's been since he went into the ice."

"I know." We sat in silence for a while as Logan ran his hands up and down my bare legs, as he had always done when he was trying to comfort me without showing his soft side. "I saw Kurt today," I said suddenly.

"Elf's hanging around here?" Logan asked curiously.

When all three of us had briefly lived in Charles' mansion, Logan and Kurt had been roommates. I'd thought Charles was insane for putting them in a room together but he had told me to trust him. It turned out that he was correct. Though they hadn't gotten along at first, things had slowly changed. Logan had spent weeks insulting Kurt before finally having to work together to survive on the island of Krakoa. After that, they had gotten along swimmingly. It shouldn't have surprised me that they had first bonded over beer.

All these years later and the two of them were still best friends and still insulting each other. "Jesus, Logan. The two of you are best friends and you still can't call him by his name?" I asked him.

"No," Logan replied dully. He stared at me curiously for a moment. "What's got you crying?"

"The fact that I have to sit here and listen to you," I snapped.

"Nice," Logan growled.

We had never been polite. That wasn't in our nature. He stared at me for a moment before finally realizing where my gaze had been resting. He let out a breath as it dawned on him that I was staring at Bucky's picture. It was the one thing that was guaranteed to both make me smile and break my heart. Logan rose from the bed and walked to the dresser, laying the picture face-down on the table. I closed my eyes for a moment and brushed my tears away. Logan walked back to me and rested on the bed at my side, reaching over and placing a hand comfortingly on my knee.

He didn't speak much when he was trying to comfort someone, but his presence was enough. I reached over and took his hand in mine. "I get it," Logan said quietly.

We had both lost the person we loved the most. One of us at the hand of someone we'd once trusted and the other at the hands of our greatest enemy. "I know you do. You're the one person I know who understands it," I told him. We sat together for a moment before I rose from the bed and walked into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "You want one?"

"You have to ask?" Logan replied. I laughed as I grabbed a second beer and threw the bottle to Logan, who caught it and sliced off the top of the bottle with one of his Vibranium claws. I peeled off the top of my bottle and drained the first quarter of my beer, letting out a breath once I had. Logan followed me as I walked into the living room. "Tough day?"

"I'm glad to have him back, I am, but I didn't think about what having him back would entail," I admitted to him. "I didn't think about all the questions he would have and that maybe I've changed more than I'd like to admit since the forties."

"You're nowhere near that girl anymore," Logan pointed out.

"No," I agreed. We would never be those people we were when we'd first met. Too much had happened to us. It was just a pity that other people didn't see that. "But I know he expects me to be."

"It's been a long time since I've heard you that self-pitying," Logan said, not totally unkindly.

My head snapped to look at him. "That's not what I'm doing," I snapped.

"That's exactly what you're doing," Logan argued.

"It is not," I snapped back. I wasn't being self-pitying. I knew that things were tough with us but that didn't matter. I knew what to expect when I told Steve the truth. It was a shame but I didn't feel bad for myself. I walked further into the living room, closely followed by Logan. "If you're here to be an asshole and call me out, I need you to go leave."

Logan scoffed. "You're not going to tell me to leave."

"Oh, yeah?" I half-asked.

Half the time we hung out together one of us ended up throwing the other out. We could only tolerate each other for so long. "Because you know I'm right. You know that you're feeling bad for yourself. Boo-fucking-hoo," Logan continued. I scowled at him, wishing that he would be quiet but knowing that he was right. "You did some bad shit that you've never been ashamed of until your best friend came back from the dead."

"Knock it off. That's not the truth," I growled.

My past was a nightmare but I had been ashamed for a long time. Since well before Steve had returned. At least, I liked to think of it that way. "Sure, it is. Remember the fun you used to have when you took a new mission?" Logan asked.

"It was never fun, Logan. It just made me feel better," I countered.

"Is that the lie you told your friend?" Logan asked.

"Fuck off," I barked.

"That's not very nice," Logan teased.

"I hate you," I growled.

It was half-true. I hated him half the time that we were together. Logan chuckled under his breath as I walked back over to the refrigerator to get myself something to eat. "Are you planning on offering me anything to eat?" Logan called.

"No, I hope you starve," I called back.

Aggravating son of a bitch. I couldn't for the life of me understand why I didn't kill Logan. It wouldn't have been simple but I could have figured it out. "How's he feeling about what you've done?" Logan asked, switching gears as he found another way to annoy me.

I grabbed my leftover sandwich from the other day and took a large bite out of it. "What do you mean?" I asked through a mouthful.

Logan scowled at my feigning ignorance. "You know what you did for all those years. You know how it felt for you," he insisted. I stared at him for a moment, wishing that it wasn't true. I wished I had felt some sympathy for what I'd done. "I hear your friend's supposed to be a pretty stand-up guy. How's he going to feel about the way you acted for so many years?"

"Steve doesn't need to know about that," I insisted.

We could get over the past. All we needed to focus on was the present and what the future was going to bring. "You're going to keep that hidden for the rest of his life?" Logan asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," I deadpanned, scowling at Logan again. He grinned as he kicked his booted feet up on my table... again. "Steve puts me on a pedestal, just the way Bucky did." Logan's gaze softened, almost imperceptibly, as my voice cracked weakly on my former fiancé's name. "He can't know. He'd never forgive me."

"So, you're just going to lie to him forever?" Logan asked.

"I'm not lying. I've just chosen not to disclose the full truth," I reasoned.

"If someone else does?" Logan offered.

There were very few people who would have been stupid or suicidal enough to tell Steve the truth about my past. "Then they're taking a twenty-story trip to the pavement with a short stop," I insisted, hearing the growl in my voice. I would kill whoever tried to tell Steve the truth. "Steve doesn't need to know the truth and he's not going to know the truth. My past is in the past. Time to move on."

"How long do you think you can keep that secret?" Logan asked.

"I'd guess Steve has about two hundred years left," I said, scowling at my reflection. Two hundred years seemed far away but I knew it would be over sooner than I thought. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"To keep a secret that big?" Logan asked disbelievingly.

"If I'm working to keep my secrets, it won't be hard at all."

"You'll slip up. You or someone else."

To be fair to him, I had more of a chance of letting the truth slip than anyone else did. "Maybe," I admitted. "I'll handle it if that does happen."

Judging by the look on Logan's face, he had realized that he wasn't getting through to me. Not by teasing me and not by trying to get me to see the flaws in my plan. Logan rose from the couch and took the rest of my sandwich from my hands. I groaned as he downed the remainder of my sandwich in one bite. I rolled my eyes at him as he turned and walked to the window. Rumlow at the rest of the S.T.R.I.K.E. team were still outside the building. They had been trying to keep the reporters at bay while news of Steve's revival had captivated the world.

It didn't bother me if Logan knew that I was thinking about spending some time with Rumlow, but I knew I would never hear the end of it from him. I wasn't the innocent woman I had been in the forties with only one partner, the man I had promised myself to. There was now a long list of men, very few of whom I cared for even in the slightest. Logan was one of the only ones. Because of our tightknit past together, we had always shared our midnight exploits. Most of the time it led to brutal insults.

"Who was the guy out there?" Logan asked, motioning down to Rumlow.

So, he had seen me. I rolled my eyes. "Now you're stalking me?" I asked. Logan turned from the window to stare at me, which I knew he would do until I told him what he wanted to know. I sighed and decided to give up on the fight. "Brock Rumlow. He's a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who's been trying to ask me out for about five years now. He's infuriating so I mostly try to tune him out."

Logan snorted. "He wants to -"

"No!" I shouted, knowing that Logan had never been one to mince words. He would have told me exactly what Rumlow wanted. "No, I don't need you to finish that thought. I know what he wants."

"Planning on going for it?" Logan asked.

"None of your damn business," I snapped.

Logan snorted again. "You'd be disappointed anyway."

"Why's that?"

My heart sank at the look on Logan's face. I would regret asking that. "Because you know who you'd be comparing him to." I barked out a laugh at his confidence. I supposed it was fair. Logan walked over to me and took my chin in his rough hand, tilting it up and pressing a small kiss against my mouth. It almost brought a smile to my face. "Chin up, kid."

Even after seventy years... "You've seen me naked. Stop calling me kid," I barked.

Grins turned up on both of our mouths as Logan leaned further in front of me, his body surrounding mine. His thick arms fell on either side of my body as I felt a slight stirring in my stomach. I had never come close to being in love with Logan (perhaps a brief crush in the sixties was as close as I'd come to that with him) but he had been one of my best friends for a long time and had always been good for comfort. We were prickly people who didn't get along with others, which meant that we were perfect for each other.

"How about another round?" Logan offered, wriggling his eyebrows.

My gaze narrowed. "Are you kidding?"

Logan laughed under his breath as he leaned in so close that if either one of us moved an inch we would be connected at the mouth. "Don't act high and mighty. You've never said 'no' before," he teased.

Well, that was uncalled for. "Don't be an -"

I never got the chance to finish my insult. Of course, that was his point. He didn't want to hear whatever cruel thing I had to say to him. Logan leaned down and captured my mouth in a heated kiss. Any complaint I'd had toward him died on my tongue. This was probably what I needed after having such a high-strung day. I needed a chance to relax (or maybe wind myself up a little bit more) and I knew that Logan was the perfect way to do that. Though he would have also backed away if I'd ordered him to.

Despite Logan's tough exterior and rough demeanor, he respected what his partner did or didn't want. He always had, even from the first kiss we'd shared after a few difficult days. Any consideration I'd had to push Logan away didn't last long. This was what I needed and Logan had always been good for a romp around. He reached under my legs to pick me up from the couch and slam me back against the wall, the drywall crumbling to pieces underneath me as my nails tore open his shirt and skin. Without Bucky in my life, this was the closest to comfort I could find.

Steve's P.O.V.

Steve Rogers was wandering around the Retreat, getting dinner ready for the night. He had desperately wanted Vic to stay for dinner but he had also recognized that today had been a little overwhelming for her. She was still having a hard time trying to deal with the loss of Bucky and having thought she'd lost him too. It was strange enough for him to be back in the world, he couldn't imagine how she felt having her best friend back after having thought he was dead for almost seventy years.

It was tough getting to know Vic again after they had been apart for so long. Particularly now that he knew she was hiding something. He would eventually get her to talk and open up, but he knew that it would take time. It had always taken Vic a long time to open up to people, even the people she loved. They needed to spend a few weeks getting to know each other again. The buzzer at the front gate sounded suddenly and Steve turned back. Vic was the only person who had been visiting him over the past few weeks.

The door opened a moment later and Steve grinned. He had been hoping she would decide to come back. "Forget something?" Steve called back to her.

There was no immediate response, which was strange for her. She normally would have immediately responded with a curse. Steve turned back curiously and was shocked to see Director Fury standing in the doorway. That wasn't who Steve had been expecting. "Sorry for dropping in unannounced," Director Fury said, walking slowly toward Steve, who nodded back at him. "If I'd said I was coming by, Victoria would have made sure she was here for it."

"Sir?" Steve asked, unsure of what Vic's presence had to do with anything.

Director Fury acted as though Steve hadn't said anything as he walked into the kitchen and leaned back against the counter. "How have your conversations with Victoria been going?" Director Fury asked. Steve didn't respond immediately. "I hear she's here most days."

"She drops by a few hours every day. She spends the night a few times a week," Steve said noncommittally.

Director Fury nodded. "What have you two been talking about?"

Something didn't sit right with Steve. He didn't like the way Director Fury was pushing the conversation. He was setting something up, Steve just didn't know what it was. Ultimately, Steve decided not to delay the inevitable. "I'm sorry, Director Fury. What's this about?" Steve asked.

"I just wanted to see how it's been catching up with your old friend," Director Fury said, folding his arms. Steve didn't trust the tone of his voice. He wanted something more than to check in on their relationship. "I wanted to see how much she's told you about her life."

Steve thought about it for a moment. He didn't know what to tell Director Fury, so he settled on something Vic would have said. "It seems like it's been pretty standard stuff. She's mentioned that not much interesting had happened to her. It seems like she's mostly focused on working for S.H.I.E.L.D. since she came back after her hiatus," Steve explained simply.

It was a plain answer that would keep Vic from setting him on fire. But Director Fury didn't seem to agree. "Her hiatus?"

He would have thought that her hiatus would have been something everyone had known about. "Yeah. She told me about her disappearance for a few years. She was trying to protect our old friends until she was convinced nothing would fall back on them. She came back to work for what would become S.H.I.E.L.D. after that," Steve said, immediately wondering if he had said too much.

Judging by the look on Director Fury's face, Steve assumed he had said too much. He knew Vic well enough to know that she would have said something nasty to Director Fury to get him to leave her alone. Was there a reason she didn't want people delving too deep into her mind? Except for her mutation, before it had become common knowledge, Vic had never been that secretive. She'd never cared what people knew about her before. Until now, that was. Something had changed. What was it?

"Did she say when she started working for S.H.I.E.L.D?" Director Fury asked slowly.

Shouldn't he have known what year Vic started working for S.H.I.E.L.D.? Steve wasn't sure when Director Fury began working for S.H.I.E.L.D. but he thought they had always worked together. "Not the exact date. Uh... The early fifties, it seemed like," Steve said awkwardly.

Director Fury hummed. "Interesting."

"Sir?" Steve asked.

Maybe Steve was wrong. Maybe she had worked for them in the late forties. Or maybe it had even been the early sixties. "Victoria didn't start working for S.H.I.E.L.D. until the late eighties," Director Fury explained.

Steve had been trying to keep his face from giving away any emotion but he couldn't help it. Director Fury's comment didn't make any sense. Vic had told him that she had begun working for S.H.I.E.L.D. just a few years after initially vanishing from the public eye. Granted, she had said that her work was on-and-off for a while but Director Fury was saying that Vic hadn't worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. at all until over thirty years after Vic had said she had. Steve didn't understand what she would have lied for. Was Director Fury mistaken? Or had Vic misspoken?

Steve shook his head slowly. "I don't understand," he admitted. "She didn't start working -?"

"A few weeks ago when you had first come out of the ice I warned Victoria to tell you the truth," Director Fury interrupted. Steve's stomach churned in knots. He had allowed Director Fury to lead him directly into the conversation he had been gunning for. Steve knew that he should have told the director to stop and leave but he couldn't. He was so curious about Vic's past. "I've given her a few weeks to do that and I can see now that she won't. She's going to lead you on. You deserve to know what your friend has done over the last seventy years."

As much as he wanted to know, Steve knew that it wasn't Director Fury's place to tell him about her past. "It's up to Victoria to tell me what she has or hasn't done," Steve insisted.

Director Fury nodded thoughtfully. "That is true. But don't you want to know what she's done?" Steve didn't answer. He wanted to know, but he wanted to try and keep trust in their friendship and that would be destroyed if he asked Director Fury to tell him about her past. "You wanted to know. I heard you ask her. This isn't about her lying about her employment history. She's got a dark past."

"I know about her past," Steve said.

Director Fury shook his head. "Not that past. She's not the woman you knew in the forties. She's changed. If you want to know just how much she's changed or what she's done..." Director Fury trailed off as Steve stared at him. Tell him to get out. Forget about the offer. But Steve did no such thing as he watched the director take a file filled to the brim with paperwork and drop it on Steve's coffee table. It slammed against the glass. "You may want to read that," Director Fury said, motioning to the file.

"What is it?" Steve asked, looking down at the file.

"That'll tell you everything you need to know about your friend," Director Fury replied.

It was like a see-saw going back and forth in his mind. He didn't know whether he should look at the file or throw it in the trash. Finally, Steve settled by saying, "I already know everything I need to know about Victoria."

"Well... just in case," Director Fury offered.

Steve and Director Fury stared at each other for a moment as the director nodded, walking off and leaving the file on Steve's coffee table. Steve looked at it for a long time, unsure of what to do. Half of him wanted to toss it in the fireplace and forget about it. Anything Vic wanted to tell him was something she should have done on her own time. But there was something about the lie Vic had told him about having worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. for almost sixty years when in reality she had barely worked for them for twenty-five. What had happened in those missing decades?

He had heard the rumors when he was in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters before being moved out to the Retreat. He had heard them talking about their fear of Vic and how people avoided her like the plague. He had just thought it was because she had always been intimidating. But there was something about the way they had looked at her. There was a genuine terror in their eyes. What had she done for all those years? Slightly ashamed of himself, Steve picked up the overflowing file and began delving into the past she had been trying so hard to hide.

A/N: Welcome to the next phase of Victoria's adventure! This story will follow the events of The Avengers and I do hope you guys will enjoy it. It's going to feature a lot less romance and more friendship and angst, as I'm sure you can already see. As always, thank you so much for all of the love on the previous story and thank you guys so much if you're planning on continuing to follow Victoria! Let me know what you think! Until next time -A

SomebodyWhoCares: I know! Poor Steve, but he's back! I hope you enjoy the new story!

KEZZ 1: Thank you! I truly hope you enjoy the next installment of Victoria's story!

.2020: Thank you! Here's hoping you've enjoyed the start of the next part of Victoria's story!

queenxb: Trust me, I came kind of close to crying when I was writing the last chapter. It was a little tough. You'll never know what your lovely comments mean to me! I lolve knowing how much people appreciate my writing. I hope you take a look at the new installment of this chapter and enjoy it!

mjolnirdork: I know, I know! The last few chapters of Savage were big ones! Here's hoping you liked this one and thanks so much for reading!