Hiccup was better at opening up to Toothless than he was to other human beings. Stoick and Astrid had often heard him whispering things to the dragon, with the Night Fury humming as if he understood. Whether he did or not he never told, but he clearly heard the intent and emotion, whimpering whenever Hiccup cried and licking the tears from his face. After Stoick's death, Hiccup confided more in his invention sketchbook than he did to his dragon friend. He put on a smile for him, but Toothless always sensed when the young chief closed off. Shutting Toothless out crippled the dragon, causing him to glom onto his rider, gnawing on his extra prosthetics and pushing more to make him happier. Meanwhile, Hiccup would oblige but never fully, and when he wanted to talk when he felt he could not, he left his sketchbook on his workbench, face down. Gobber eventually caught on, and handed the book to Astrid, for her to read her fiancée's fractured thoughts. It was some months after this exchange started, that Astrid knew that some things needed to be mended again.
She found him on the outcrop where he often escaped to think, leaning against Toothless' side. Stormfly landed nimbly next to the alpha, who rumbled quizzically at Hiccup. "Sure, bud. Go and play." He rolled onto his left side, propping up on his elbow while Toothless bounded off, warbling at the Nadder. He stopped only to give Astrid a gentle nuzzle, only to whine slightly and glance towards his rider, who was doodling on the dirt with a twig. "I know, that's why I'm here." Toothless seemed pleased and went to chase Stormfly around the cliff edge. Astrid sighed, and went to plop herself down next to Hiccup. She put her head on his shoulder, and he instinctively wrapped his arm around her waist. They sat for a moment, before Astrid said, "the finished statue looks amazing." She sensed Hiccup's nervous smile in his response, "ya, it really does. They did dad proud. How long has it been, six months now?" Astrid hummed in agreement, picking up some of Toothless' scales that had fallen and rubbing them between her fingers like skimming stones. The sun was setting over the houses, making the tranquil village fall into a russet blackness. There was a quasi-comfortable silence, what with their strong bond and what they both knew was to be discussed. To Astrid's surprise, it was Hiccup who spoke first, tripping over his words as they for the first time fell from his mouth and not his pencil to his fiancé's eager ears. "I don't know what to do, Astrid. It wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault I – he would never hurt me, or dad. I know he wouldn't. Even when dad used get mad at me, after the Red Death all Toothless do was just snarl at him as if to tell him knock it off. He wouldn't ever… but it was still his body, his fire. I forgive him but and I do not blame him. I blame me, Astrid. I killed my father. Yet I'm pushing it on –"
Hiccup's shoulder's heaved with sobs. A wounded whine sounded from over on the opposite side of the ledge, Astrid cast her head over. Toothless was distraught but staying back. Clawing against the earth, he glanced at Stormfly, who chirped almost like a mother Nadder, as if she were advising him "this is a human thing." Toothless could have barked at her, told her to patrol the island. He did not. He shook, his massive wings wobbling, and instead made the low rumbling woo that Astrid always associated with the Fury's way of saying "yes." Stormfly squawked and raised her wings, pouncing off the ledge into the forest below. Toothless waited a moment until he heard the Nadder call again, before launching himself after her like a bullet. The exchange took seconds but to Astrid it felt like hours. She turned back to Hiccup, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He pressed his face into her shoulder, his tears soaking her shirt. He wasn't even making noise, gulping back cries as if he could not choke the rest of his soliloquy. "Hiccup, you couldn't have known what was going to happen when you met Drago," she said soothingly. "I know St… your dad said he was a madman, but honey you weren't to know what would happen. Not even Gothi can tell the future." Hiccup pulled back, wiping his nose on the back of his hand, not that it did much good. "He told me not to, he said don't go he cannot be reasoned with!" in his misery still managing to choke out his father's thick accent, choking on the enunciation. "He said, don't even try. Then… my mother just shows the fuck up out of nowhere, and she—he and she reunite, and it was all so fast and." Hiccup rubbed his temples, "they still after all those years, they loved each other. Astrid, even Toothless knew. He fucking knew, and still even after my mom – who is like a dragon herself, she says you can't reason with – and I still went down to talk sense into the bastard and I." Astrid, who had been rubbing Hiccup's back gently, leaped back a moment as the chief pushed the palms of his hands almost to the back of his skull, his teeth grinding as if on a stone. "I see those eyes at night when I try to sleep, and sometimes I run, and I cannot wake, and he kills me. Then he realizes and I –" he hacks and wails "He screams, and I can see even though I am dead and he runs to me and he knows but he does not know, and my dad he is crying and – I have only ever seen my dad cry once, when missing my mom." Astrid stares, helpless, as the sobs rack Hiccup's body. It all rolls out like a stone, stuff he had not told no one only a book. Not even his dragon.
Hiccup shudders, "I try and I"… Astrid puts her palm on his back. "Breathe. This is good. This is all good hon, you're talking. This means you're healing –"
Hiccup snaps his head toward her, eyes red and running. Astrid knows the question written on his brow. "No," she whispered gently. "No, you won't ever heal fully. But it will get a bit easier, I promise." She pulls the chief towards her again, hushing him gently, cooing like her own mother did after her uncle died, or after a bad dream, which in a way this was. A bad dream one can only learn to live with. She waited a moment, her head atop his, rocking him and cooing. Eventually, Hiccup's breath stabilized. Seizing her moment, Astrid said into his ear "Hiccup, with any great love comes loss. When you love someone, or something there is a high chance it will go away. If it is a person or an animal, it always will leave often before we are ready. That does not make the gift of love any less important. If anything, the hurt you feel makes the love even greater. And it does not mean the lost person doesn't love you, if anything it shows how much they do." She said it faster than intended, like a winter breeze. Hiccup balked, pulled away again. "That's what my dad said." He sniffed heartedly, "or at least he said something like that when I was a kid. I came down the stairs because I heard something, and he was crying. Over mom." Smiling at this revelation as if Hiccup had not blurted it minutes ago, Astrid rubbed Hiccup's arm, encouraging him further. "He said, that with great love comes great loss, and it hurts but that there's no greater gift." This time there was no accent. Silence fell over the clifftop again, the stars twinkling now as the navy night sky drowned off the last of the salmon entrails of the sun, chasing it into the ocean. "Your dad's right, Hiccup. Hon, he died for you, but you must know that while yes, you did talk to Drago, he doesn't blame you. Maybe you need to accept your part in it to get over this hurdle, but he died for you, and for nothing else. He paid the greatest honour a parent ever could. He died by the words he told you back then, because he knew that you had Berk. That you have everyone who loves you and that you would be ok. He died because he knew that through this loss, you would be ok eventually, Hiccup." Hiccup stared at Astrid a spell, before whispering "I need to say the end of my dream." He sat up straighter. "My dad went to kill Toothless. I try screaming at him even though he can't hear me but right as he is about to snap his neck, I wake. And Toothless is taking it, too – I cannot imagine him ever doing it but in a way I –" again, he weeps, head in the ball of the palms of his hands. "Astrid, I wouldn't blame him if he did." Shaking with grief as he spurted out the words, he gurgled out a plaintive wail. "He's my best friend. I should not be thinking that, Astrid. It was not his fault. He was a vessel. It wasn't even the Bewilderbeast's fault, he was hurt too. I know a real alpha would ne-" Hiccup gritted his teeth, biting his tongue, blood appearing on his crooked teeth. He winces, slapping his lips with his tongue, speaking gently. "It's as if I blame him but I don't. Mostly I blame myself." Astrid shuffled a bit, "well, I can see why you do both, Hiccup. Think of it this way, remember the kill ring way back when? Hiccup, your dad could have killed Toothless there and then." Hiccup furrowed his brow, as if he had never even realized it before. "He didn't, though, why?" Astrid smiled, her own eyes wet with tears, "because Toothless had saved you. He may not have liked Toothless, but he had saved you, and you were so heartbroken at him being captured… Hiccup he could not kill him because it wasn't right. It wasn't fair on you, nor Toothless." Hiccup sat silently. Astrid braced herself, "it's the same reason why you nor anyone else killed Toothless after what Drago did." Hiccup glared at her as if she had cursed him. "Hiccup listen, why didn't you kill Toothless after Stoick's death, why didn't anyone on Berk." Hiccup's face shifted, he glanced about, then his eyes filled up again. "It isn't his fault; I wouldn't have done it even if I had wanted to. He was obeying his nature, the alpha's call." Hiccup grunted, "even if the call itself was issued by a prick." He glanced up at Astrid, his eyes tired. "Astrid, he blames himself too, I hear him cry at night. I want to comfort him, and I know he wants to comfort me but I"
"Then do," Astrid interjects, squeezing his arm
"But what if it isn't the same ever again," Hiccup trembles.
"It might never be the same, but one thing I can tell is that your relationship with Toothless has been changed by this, Hiccup. You cannot run away from that, but if Toothless beating the alpha's ass has shown me anything, while the events that day fractured the bond, it grew back with Gronckle iron between the cracks. Different, changed and a bit awkward sometimes, but still strong. Use that. You need to talk to him again."
Hiccup looked down at his leg, then nodded. He called for Toothless, and up over the incline flew a flustered Stormfly, the alpha dragon caught in her talons. He wiggled mercilessly, grinning over at Hiccup, who was laughing with Astrid at the odd display. "Guess you couldn't climb back up, huh?" teased the chief. Stormfly dropped the Fury on his ass, squeaking impishly at him as they both ran over to their riders. Astrid stands up, with Hiccup following suit. Hiccup pulls Astrid in for a hug. She kissed him on the cheek, "there's no need to thank me, ok? You opening up was enough. I'm so proud of you." She gave Toothless a quick hug before jumping on Stormfly's back, taking off into the twilight sky.
The two alpha's gaze up at the pair as they flew away, becoming a speck in the distance. Toothless turns to Hiccup, whirring worriedly. Hiccup smiles faintly, causing Toothless to grin back in turn. "Buddy, we need to talk." Toothless croons, tilting his head to the side. They both sit down, Toothless laying on his stomach so his head was facing Hiccup eye to eye. He whimpered patiently as Hiccup steeled his breath. "Toothless, I know it wasn't your fault, what happened to dad." The dragon whined deeply, remembering the words spoken to him way back when, the day it happened. Hiccup grabbed the Fury by the muzzle, "bud, I blame myself more than I blame you." He pointed at his chest, dejectedly. Toothless watched this and felt the outpouring of grief. His pupils dilated, and he left out a low moan, pushing his head onto Hiccup's lap. Hiccup stroked his pal's head, continuing with hitched breaths. "I- I know things have been weird, and I'm sorry for shutting you out, bud. I know that dad did what any parent would do. It… kind of tore us apart while pushing us together, didn't it bud?" Toothless gazed up at his rider, confusion and sadness clouding his acid green eyes. "It changed our bond; it broke us but at the same time it made us stronger." The dragon gurgled, pressing his nose against Hiccup's heart. The chief could not take it any longer, he collapsed onto Toothless' broad head, bawling. Toothless keened, sitting up so the man's arms could instead wrap around his broad neck, wrapping his wings around him protectively. Hugging was a thing Toothless was still only just getting the hang of. "I love you, bud. I missed you. Toothless purred comfortingly, rubbing his head against Hiccup's. Hiccup pulled away from the embrace, "Toothless, I'll try to open up to you again, ok? If I ever close up don't hesitate to do anything to pull me back from the brink, even if it takes me a while." Toothless smiled, licking his best friend's tears. "And one thing, while this has changed things in a way, you're still my brother and I love you. No matter what trials happen to us, no matter how far we drift apart, we will always find each other again. Ok? I promise. It's you and me, bud. Always." Toothless joyfully bumps Hiccup with his head, knocking him onto his back covering him with slobbery kisses. Hiccup laughed between tears; his heart torn ten ways from Sunday. While he knew it would take years to get used to this, he and Toothless would be ok. Yet, something else clawed at his heart. Something he hadn't told Astrid.
After some wrestling and a late-night flight, Hiccup and Toothless lay in the cove, their favourite place to go when they had the time. Hiccup leaned against Hiccup's flank, feeling the sleeping dragon's breath rise and fall, as the fire he had made roared in front of them. Staring at the embers rising with the smoke into the inky sky, Hiccup forced himself to think the unthinkable. Something he had known for a while now.
The island was overcrowded.
Every inch of the island was covered with dragons, from the village to all the surrounding cliffs and mountains, the ocean caves, and the trees beyond. All the way to Itchy Armpit, the dragons sprawled. The only place where the dragons didn't retire at night was the cove, which Toothless made clear was his. Even the outcrop they had sat for hours was the night nest of a brood of Terrible Terrors. It wasn't just that. Hiccup had noticed that Toothless often ran with the flock, spending more time with them, and appearing to be torn between something like he had seen the cove nearly seven years ago, and the Toothless he now knew. He was both the wild king, and his loyal best friend. He seemed confused. One minute he ruled the flock and barely looked at Hiccup, the next he barley acknowledged them. He even roared at Hiccup one day to stand back from trying to train one of the maturing hatchlings. Hiccup stood back, understanding his place, but Toothless immediately whined in despair, pushing his head into Hiccup's arms apologetically. There were some things he never put in his book and left for the only person who knew dragons more than he and Fishlegs. "Mom, do you think I am holding him back?" Hiccup asked Valka as he was showing her some cooking tips, he had picked up from Gobber. "No, son. I would tell you if I thought so," she said as she clumsily chopped a carrot. "I think he is trying to say, that this is his flock, not yours. You need to balance out the fact that he is a wild dragon and animals have their own way of handling their own lot, along with his place as your best friend. The alpha in the Ice Cave was very much the same. He respected me as a human, but I had to respect him in turn." Hiccup nodded in understanding, peeling a potato with a worn Nadder talon. "I see, that makes sense. Yet, one day he is so wild and at one with them, as if the humans on Berk are neighbours that happen to be here. The next, he is with me and pays no mind to them unless he must keep the order. It's as if"…
"… as if he is a wild animal torn between natural callings, his loyalty to his kind and his loyalty to you. Hiccup, dragons are mysterious creatures. I have been observing this behaviour and I can say one thing, he always returns to you. I don't think he would ever choose loyalties unless he has to. He is simply juggling both at once. I think he will eventually be so good at doing both, that you will not even know the difference." Valka smiled proudly at the carrot in front of her, "no cuts this time!" She exclaimed, wiggling her fingers. Hiccup scraped the carrots into the pot with the potatoes, still fussing behind his smile. "What if he finds another Fury?" Valka's brow furrowed, "well, I only know what I know about Fury's from passing, and I have only ever seen them from afar. There was this one pair, that used come to the Ice Cave –"
"There was what?" Hiccup exhaled. Valka laughed as she cleaned up the peelings, "oh son, they never even let me near them. There was only those two. A male and a female. I could tell by their plentiful nubs; they were around fifty years old." Hiccup sat on the edge of the table in awe. "Why didn't you tell me?" Valka looked sombre, "I have only seen Strike Class dragons mate for life. They are the most intelligent class, and they form the strongest bonds. I noticed that the pair hadn't appeared in the nest in months. Well, one of them had. The male. Much bigger than Toothless was, but he looked just like him in a way. The same high brows, just with a larger crown. He looked terribly upset and had been fighting something. He was covered in claw marks. He called for his mate, a very distressed cry that I have heard Toothless do when you were ill. So, after he left, I went with Cloudjumper to track him. It was warm in the nest, the ice formed an insulative roof, but out there in the cold, I feared he would not survive alone. So, we followed the blood, to land where we found him, and a skinned corpse of a Fury. No head. He was dead. His face creased in pain. Hiccup he died from heartbreak; I am sure of it. I found a nest nearby, with the remains of shells. That was the last time I ever saw a Fury dragon, until Toothless."
Hiccup's eyes filled with tears. "How long ago was this?"
"Only a few months after Cloudjumper took me to the Ice Cave. Son, I think if Toothless found Furies, he would want to stay with them or have them join his flock. I reckon they were killed by a trapper I heard of, one that killed Night Furies for fun. I hope the rest found their way to the Hidden World." Hiccup glanced at his mother, "you believe in that place?" She nodded. "Your father wanted to find it as a young man. He did not want to kill them; he knew I wouldn't forgive them if he did that. He wanted to seal it up. I pleaded with him to leave them be if he ever did, and he said only if they never harmed us."
"Have you seen it?"
"No, but it was documented by the past chieftains. It was something well hidden lest the village thought them mad. I hope that it is real, and I do think dragons will migrate back there when the time comes, like salmon to their birth stream. They will go back when it is no longer safe for them here. It was no longer safe for the Night Furies, and I hope they simply migrated to that Utopic place below the sea." Mother and son sat for a while as the stew simmered next to them. "Hiccup, have you ever thought of making Toothless a tail so he can do his alpha duties alone?" Hiccup perked up, "I made him one years ago, but he wanted to fly with me instead of me just sitting on his back." Valka chuckled, "well, he need not use it when flying with you, but it might help him connect with his flock more. Maybe revise it so it can last longer without need for repair." She ruffled Hiccup's hair, walking out of the great hall, leaving him there speechless.
There was something Astrid had said, about how Hiccup and Toothless' bond had changed, but was held with something so much stronger. Hiccup's eyelids drooped, as he wondered how he could help his friend be more independent, and if he was really the only one left of his kind.
The book had not laid on the worktop for months. The dynamic duo was as thick as thieves, if not thicker. They had their moments where Hiccup would have to be roused by a game of fetch the leg, or slathered with kisses, but the gates were open, and things seemed to be going well.
Hiccup began working with Valka, Gobber and Fishlegs on a new and improved automatic tail. It went through numerous designs and tests, being brought into the depths of a volcano and blasted with Night Fury plasma, left in water for weeks, and Valka bringing it to the snowy remains of the Ice Cave, burying it outside to see if it would falter. After months of gruelling, Hiccup had six new frames that could withstand the elements. Of course, Toothless knew of the project, and was the guinea pig for each frame, which was covered in a refined layer of leather. He was sceptical, refusing to wear it when Hiccup wanted to go flying, but when with the flock he took to it swimmingly – even though it always took some time to get used to flying solo. However, the pair were so busy with the new rescues, that they did not seem to have time for anything else. Things were so chaotic that he and Toothless were between running the village, saving dragons and fighting off the growing onslaught of trappers, the tail project fell into the background, all the new frames wrapped in sheep wool and stored in the blacksmith shop. The tails lay forgotten for months, to the point where Hiccup wouldn't have even thought of them when leaving Berk until Gobber mentioned them. "Won't they be too heavy?" Astrid asked as Gobber loaded them onto the dragon powered boat. Gobber stared at her, "didn't Hiccup ever tell you what they were made of?" She shook her head, causing Gobber to throw his eyes to Valhalla. "Oh, for Thor's sake. Well –" he was cut short by the man himself running past, saying small talk could wait. Gobber stared at Astrid, and they both eyed the slowly rising sun. "He's right. I'll ask him later." So, it goes.
A week later, Toothless sat despondent in the lake on the new island, the Light Fury having disappeared into the brightening morning. Hiccup thought about what his mother had said, about Furies mating for life. If this female was Toothless' match made in Valhalla, then he needed to go and bring her back. Pronto. He thought for a moment, and felt an ember go off in his head. He crept through the shrubbery as Toothless wandered back to shore, shaking himself dry. He looked at Hiccup and smiled sheepishly, pushing his wet head into his rider's chest. "You did good, bud! She really liked your artwork!" Hiccup tugged on the dragon's jaw lovingly. He cooed and brushed against his hip as they crested the hill once more. Toothless appeared to have gotten over being slightly gypped and listened to Hiccup as he nattered on about the silly antics that had happened on the beach, warbling at his friend's happiness. Then, Hiccup dropped the gauntlet. "Toothless, you know that tail we were working on?" Toothless looked at his half tail fin, and "ooed" in response. Hiccup stroke his chin, "well, what if we made a few adjustments. Instead of following your flock, you can go impress Light Fury even more, get to know her and show her your flying skills!" Toothless beamed, seeming to pick up on what Hiccup was getting at, he glommed onto Him, giving him a big hug. "Alright! Well, let's go get some sleep, eh? We'll start working on it tomorrow. I'll race you back to camp!" Toothless gurgled, goosed Hiccup in the behind with his snout and launched through the trees, leaving the Viking eating his scales, his joyous laughter ringing in his ears. Together, they weaved through the trees, chortling in unison as the sun rose into a new day.
Now he was gone. It had been only a day since the dragons left, when Astrid woke up in the tent she now shared with Hiccup. He was nowhere to be seen, but his tattered sketchbook laid on the bed. He had been reading it when adjusting the new tail, but seeing it face down made Astrid's heart rise. She lit a candle and picked it up.
The first thing she noticed was that the ink was not new. It looked worn. Hiccup's message was not new on parchment, but it was to her eyes. She flicked through the pages. It was the design for the new tail, with notes in the margins.
"What mom said really made me think, so I talked with Gobber and Fishlegs. They suggested making the new tail with Gronckle iron! The one we use right now is only regular iron, but if this baby is to last, we need to make sure it was made of the best and strongest stuff we know. It was a no brainer, really! So, I made some adjustments, with Toothless' help of course. Gobber brough the frames to Dragon Island and dropped it in pure flowing lava, and mom buried some in snow further north. We even buried some in sand, submerged them in water. After months, we have six frames, that can withstand dragon fire, swords, maces, ice, sea water and moisture. We covered the leather in Toothless' spit to make it even stronger! Each facet is leather and Gronckle iron. What I have made pretty much gives Toothless the closest thing to a permanent new tail that can withstand anything, even lightning! Toothless braved his fear of storms just to test it out. I managed to calibrate it, so it reacts as naturally as possible to Toothless' remaining fin using a complex magnetic compass system. I do not know why I have not made this before. My bud is practically a full Night Fury again!"
There was an addendum in new ink.
"Eret came up with a genius plan; mixing Toothless' spit with ground up scales, so it is even more durable and looks and smells more like him and less like me! Amazing! Light Fury is smart, but I am sure this will impress her big time! Toothless was excited when I put it on, but something funny happened. I had to tell him to go. He did not want to go unless I was ok with it. Of course, I was, even if it takes him longer than after sunset, he's my bud and like mom said, we always find each other. It's me and Toothless, always."
Creeping out of the tent, Astrid made her way to the bluff. The sun was just starting to rise. Hiccup was sitting cross legged, fiddling with his extra leg. She sat beside him, leaning back on her palms. There was that silence, the same silence that happened when Hiccup opened to her face to face. Even though, he had done that so many times in his journal before. They gazed out at the ocean, knowing where it led. "I can't believe he's gone," Hiccup croaked. "I might never see him again." Astrid pulled at the grass, "maybe not, but what you did for him was amazing, Hiccup. You not only respected him for who he was, you actually gave him something that will likely make sure he rules his kingdom for years to come." She looked over to her beloved, tears streaming down her face. "Hiccup, why didn't you tell me?" He shuffled, locking his fingers into hers. "I guess I knew that in a way, I was letting him go by even thinking of making a tail out of Gronckle iron." He looked towards Astrid, "do you really think he wouldn't have come back?" Astrid shook her head, "I don't think he would have come back just then, but I do think he would have come back eventually. Toothless' home is two places, Hiccup. It always was, and always will be."
The two leaders of Berk stared out over the vast sea, the sun peaking its eyes over the horizon, the edge of the world. Two worlds, two homes. Where two alpha's hearts beat as one.