Two

Somehow, the captain returned to her duties on the bridge that afternoon. She was terse. She couldn't help it. There was a problem with the gel packs, which was solved by B'Elanna (eventually). Paris was distracted at the helm after B'Elanna's visit, drawing Kim into a flurry of childish banter. Kathryn snapped at them both... then glared at Chakotay when he looked at her with that patient, inquisitive brow. Kathryn normally enjoyed her job and the company of her crew, but today she couldn't wait for her shift to be done. The second the clock ticked over she sprung from her chair.

'Commander Chakotay. You have the bridge,' she announced sourly, as she practically dived for the turbolift door.

'A moment, captain…?'

Her first officer materialized behind her, and when she turned to face him he was a half-step too close.

'What is it?' she asked irritably. A headache was beginning to press at her temples, and she couldn't look at Chakotay's face without seeing that same damn tattoo on the holodeck girl.

Commander Chakotay saw the flash of danger in his captain's eyes but he didn't back off. 'You seem tired. Would you like to join me in my quarters for dinner? I've been saving my replicator rations. Name your wish and you can have it,' he spoke softly, leaning in like they shared a secret.

She hated when he did that. She often worried about the crew reading too much into the commander's familiar actions – thinking she was playing favorites… thinking she would be willing to compromise her authority for the sake of a ship romance. It was even worse when he behaved like that in private – when his easy company sometimes made feel her like throwing her captain's rulebook out the nearest airlock and just letting herself be a woman for a change. A woman who had the luxury of being both strong and vulnerable.

But she sure as hell wasn't feeling vulnerable now. She was feeling pissed. 'I'm busy tonight,' she answered curtly, already turning away from him. 'See you on the bridge tomorrow at 0800 hours.'

The turbolift doors glided shut in Chakotay's face, leaving him standing there unbalanced, wondering what on earth he had done to make his captain so upset.

How dare he make himself a child in her image?! Of all the presumptuous, invasive, unethical things!...

Kathryn fumed around her quarters - hair pinned high, still wearing her uniform. She'd paced the track from the door to the window so many times her footsteps were probably worn permanently into the floor.

When did he even do it? Was it back when they'd first realized that Voyager might become a generational ship before reaching the Alpha Quadrant? Or was it after she made that stupid comment about going to him for advice on animal mating rituals. It was a meaningless flirtation. Just a quip parried between two intelligent people. She didn't mean him to take it literally!

And more to the point, why did he do it? Was there a holographic Captain Janeway written into the program too, designed to be the perfect mother and lover – dutiful and sentimental? Her stomach lurched with disgust at the possibility that the man she trusted most in the universe might have transformed her into his virtual sex slave, or his broodmare.

'Enough!' she muttered to herself, coming to a standstill and grabbing the problem by its throat. 'There's no need to overthink this, Kathryn. It's an old program, It would have already been deleted if B'Elanna's security scan hadn't salvaged it. All you have to do is override the computer alert, then erase the program and forget this whole thing ever happened.'

It was a lie. She knew in her heart she would never really be able to forget what Chakotay did – how he abused her privacy and trust in such an intimate way – but, for now, it was a lie she needed to believe.

She glanced at the clock. With any luck, most of the crew would be in the mess hall eating dinner by now. That should give her enough time to nip over to the holodeck, delete the offending program and still make it back to her quarters without anybody seeing her. Especially not anybody with a face tattoo.

The holodeck doors closed after the captain as she entered the room, sealing it like a tomb.

Kathryn looked around the cold, grey space warily. It was empty, but somehow she felt the shadow of the hologirl watching her. She started pacing again.

'Computer, access program Young Warrior...'

Computer, delete program. It was just three words. But she found she couldn't say them out loud.

'Computer, identify stardate the program was created.' She needed a clue – any clue to help her understand why Chakotay did what he did.

The synthesized voice that responded was polite, efficient and completely unhelpful. 'That information is no longer available.'

Kathryn frowned. 'Computer, identify all access dates in the past six months.'

The computer took less than a second to respond. 'That information is no longer available.'

The captain clutched at her forehead. Her headache was threatening to become a migraine – the kind even a long bath wouldn't be able to cure. She briefly considered heading down to sickbay for a hypospray and one of the doctor's deep tissue massages, but decided against it. A snippy lecture from the EMH about the importance self-care was the last thing she wanted to deal with at the moment.

No. Her best chance at getting some kind of relief was closure. She needed answers, now, and the best way to find them was standing right in front of her.

Kathryn sighed and straightened. 'Computer, initiate program and resume from last playback.'

Author's Note:

So, Janeway's about to meet her holo-daughter. Awkward! Thanks for reading & reviewing. See you soon for the next installment. :)