Gabriel was still around as Sam woke up and the human smiled warily at his boyfriend who was holding a tray of food that smelled delicious.

"Good morning, Samshine. Happy birthday."

Sam's smile faded, and he scowled. "Go 'way."

"What? Sam-"

"No, I don't want to celebrate." Gabriel looked like he might question him, so Sam continued. "Gabriel, do you have any idea any idea how many good birthdays I've had in the last 8 years? 4. If you can count John Fucking Winchester dying on my birthday as a good day." Sam blinked, taking a moment to contemplate how fucked up his life was. "Let's go through it, shall we? On my 19th birthday, I got my acceptance letter from Stanford and I wanted to go, so John Fucking Winchester said, 'If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.' And so I went to Stanford, met Jess, had three nice birthdays. And then what happens? Dad goes missing and Dean shows up. And you know what happened on my 23rd birthday? John chewed me out for not shooting him with the colt when Azazel possessed him. And you know what? I actually regret not doing it, because the next day, Dean almost died. The only reason he didn't was because Dad worked something out so he died instead. So I guess that was almost an okay week. But it only goes downhill from there, because the next year, I died and woke up from a death that should have stuck to find out that my brother had sold his fucking soul, and he didn't get a full ten years, no, Gabe, he got one that would irrevocably end, again, on my birthday. And then, also on my birthday, Dean died, for all I knew, permanently gone. And do you know what happened the next year after that?! Dean decides to repeat, word for word, the phrase John uttered kicking me out. And then I killed Lilith and let Lucifer out of the cage. Which I guess ended up being for the best, but it still hurt !"

"Oh, Sam," Gabriel whispered. "I'm so sorry. No birthdays it is." He put the tray of food down on the side table. "Scoot over, I'm going to lay down next to you."

Sam didn't have the energy to tell him to go away, so he just shifted and as soon as Gabriel had laid down on the bed, curled up against the warm archangel.

At some point Sam had remade the bed with just the grace bedding Gabriel's brothers had given him so far. Gabriel carefully wrapped around his intended the blanket Mikha and Heylel had carefully crafted for him. He shifted Sam in his arms, cuddling him, and then folded his wings around Sam. Sam whined, but he did not think it was a protest. "I swear that there will be no more bad birthdays," he declared to the sleeping form.

Sam woke up from his second nap feeling absolutely famished. He nosed towards the solid shape next to him. "Gabe?" he croaked.

"I'm right here, Sam."

"Is that breakfast still warm?"

"Yep!" Gabriel reached for it and they shifted so Sam was sitting upright with the tray in his lap.

The tray contained pancakes and some slices of fruit cut into bite sized pieces. Sam at it slowly. It was as delicious as it smelled.

"Is there anything you want to do today?" Gabriel asked.

Sam shrugged. What he really wanted was a quiet day, but he wasn't sure beyond that. He didn't want to dwell on the date, but he also wanted some alone time to process the last fortnight. "I didn't have anything specific in mind."

Sam slipped away as soon Gabriel's back was turned because as much as he loved that his archangel wanted to spend time with him, the fact that he was cognizant of the fact that it was his birthday made it hard to stick around. So with a word that he was going outside for a second to get some fresh air, he slipped outside, and ran.

Jogging always cleared his head. It was like meditating, but a little easier because he could focus on the sound of his feet evenly hitting the concrete instead of the oppressive silence he would have been trying to create inside his head.

Sam loved Gabriel and enjoyed spending time with him, but he just had to clear his head. He didn't want to think about how it this day was an anniversary of other bad things that happened throughout his life.

Out of breath, Sam stopped running. He wasn't tired , per se, but he had no idea what he wanted.

Looking around, Sam realized he had no idea where he was or how to get back to the motel from here. There seemed to be a coffee shop across the street though, and at the very least he could get a glass of water and ask for directions.

As he stepped inside the coffee shop, he heard the distinct sound of wingbeats right behind him, the set he recognized as Michael's because there was always an extra hesitation between the first beat and the second one when the eldest archangel landed.

"Michael," he greeted, even before he turned his head to confirm who he was greeting. "What brings you out here?"

"I was hoping for a bite to eat," the archangel said. "And I wanted to thank you for returning Heylel's pet."

Sam shrugged. "You're welcome?" He continued moving into the coffeeshop and let the archangel select a place for them to sit. "Do you want anything specific?"

Michael considered. "Chocolate. And something salty. With pistachios."

There was nothing that any of the archangels could have said that would have dissuaded Sam from his belief that Michael was pregnant, but he wasn't going to say anything about that because doing so would be rude.

He bought the salted chocolate bar, a chocolate cupcake, and pistachio gelato, and he paid for it with money in his wallet he couldn't recall the source of. He also got a chai tea for himself and a brownie.

"But, Sam, I wanted a blueberry muffin."

Sam got Michael the blueberry muffin, and the oatmeal raisin cookie, and the barista probably thought they were insane but there was no way that Sam was going to tell Gabriel's older brother no.

Michael stared at all the food Sam had procured for him and his lip quivered.

Sam reached for Michael's hand. "Michael, can you tell me what's wrong? I'm not sure how to help if I don't know what the matter is."

"I'm not sure," Michael said quietly. "We know for sure that Heylel is pregnant, but my own body seems to have decided to mimic some of Heylel's symptoms."

Sam was really confused about angel biology and their biological sexes (weren't they genderless?), but he wasn't sure that it would be polite conversation to ask why Michael had not considered the possibility that he was (also?) pregnant.

Sooner or later it would be straightened out, Sam was sure. And he could put up with Michael's weird eating habits until that time because you did not make anyone who might be pregnant angry . Never.

"I think it'll work out, either way," Sam said. "And there's nothing wrong with giving your body what it wants in the meantime." He looked at the collection of pastries on the table between them. "What do you want to eat the most?"

Michael leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands, which her folded on the table. "I seem to have lost my appetite. I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam sighed, but not in irritation. "Michael-"

"Why won't you call me Mikha? It's my given name."

"I'm sorry, Mikha. Mikha, I'm sorry if this is an intrusive question, and please don't feel obligated to answer, but, have you considered that you might be suffering some of Heylel's symptoms because youyourself are also pregnant?"

"I can't be pregnant!" Michael's exclamation drew strange looks, but if anything, the archangel just looked sad. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout." Michael looked at Sam, but the archangel took a moment to think about what he meant. "That's not to say that I wouldn't love that with every ounce of my being. If Rafa was more familiar with how our anatomies work and less likely to associate it with a past trauma, maybe I would ask, but as it stands, I don't think that my anatomy is capable of child bearing, or so I've been told." He sighed. "Heylel and I want our own children so much, Sam, and Heylel is currently very much in love with carrying our child, and I don't want to do anything that might detract from that. It's my job to take care of them ."

Sam picked up one of the chocolate brownies and broke it in half with his fingers. "If you stress yourself out, you won't be able to keep them safe." He pushed half the brownie forward to the archangel. He could understand the need to keep one's family safe. That was Dean to a T. "Eat the brownie, Mikha."

"I can see why Gabriel likes you."

Sam frowned. He hoped Gabriel wasn't too worried about him.

"I told Gabriel I was monopolizing your time getting snacks for Heylel," Michael said. "So he's a little less worried about you getting into trouble, but he is also a little worried about why you ran off."

Sam swallowed and took a sip of his water. "Today is my birthday, and I might not have remembered except Gabe brought it up, and Dean's the only one who has ever tried to remember, so it's mostly the anniversary of bad things happening rather than a day to rejoice."

"Today should be a good day." Michael nodded mysteriously to himself. "I don't know when my birthday is, but I tried to make the creation day of the other archangels as good as I was able. My children will have birthday and birthday parties and know joy."

"They should." Sam drank some more water. "Gabriel and Cas have talked about angelic mate bonds a little, but I was wondering if you could tell me more about that." He did his best to look casual rather than hopeful.

"You'd be better off talking to Gabriel. I don't know a lot. The main kind of mate bond finishes forming when the relationship is consummated. Our kind doesn't really do marriage in the modern human way."

"Consummation of marriage is an archaic human custom, and the emphasis on all parties being virginal was significant." Sam's brow furrowed with concern. "Is waiting to have sex until you've decided to have a mate bond a significant angelic custom?"

"No? I'm sorry, I don't think I've explained it right. Another kind of relationship we have translates as bed-mates? There is less emotional connection and usually no children?"

Sam blinked. "Does Enochian distinguish between the act of sex as a means of reproduction and sex for any other reason? That sounds like a one night stand kind of thing."

"I've never had a one night stand, so I wouldn't know. I suppose I can't see why it would preclude a mate-bond if emotional connection formed later. Mate-bonds don't necessitate children, either, though. Rafa's Sami was the first fledgling born to angels and he's the only fledgling in Heaven right now, but I don't know of any fledglings born since then."

Hearing Mikha bring up Raphael's fledgling reminded Sam that he had been crying when they had left Heaven. "Is Sami okay?" he asked. "He looked so upset last night."

Michael sighed sadly. "He's fine, physically. But he started babbling about a scared and hungry injured fledgling and it was near impossible to console him." The archangel frowned. "He talks to Heylel's unborn child, babbles about how happy and healthy they're going to be. But this was different. He didn't want to be soothed or held. Samael gave him some cookies eventually, I don't know why, maybe to see if he could be bribed into calming down. He wouldn't eat it though, just climbed into my lap, still sniffling, and made me eat it instead."

"If there were other fledglings outside of Heaven, would Sami have any connection to them?"

"Sami is four or five thousand years old, and under perfect circumstances, should have been fully grown by now. But he's not. The nephilim of old were always more powerful than their celestial parent, but as there are no other archangel children in existence, we have no way of knowing what to expect from one. It's possible I'm overlooking something, but I don't know."

Sam didn't quite understand how one failed to know if any second generation fledglings existed outside of Heaven, but he decided not to ask because Michael seemed to already feel as guilty about it as he needed to. Intent on changing the subject, he decided to mention the cambion they had met.

"Do you know of the cambion, Jesse Turner? Cas called him the antichrist."

"I had not heard." Michael considered the revelation. "Do you think I can meet him? I don't mean any harm, but he will likely need some lessons in control and please can I meet him, Sam?"

"He didn't want anything to do with us and ran away, but I guess if you want to go looking for him, I'm not going to stop you. Cas said he more or less disappeared off the face of the Earth though, so I wish you luck."

"I will find him! But not right now, because that triple chocolate chip cookie looks delicious. "

As the archangel licked his lips and ravaged the cookie he was referring to, Sam couldn't help but wonder if maybe the archangel was lying to himself. He wasn't going to bring it up again any time soon because the archangel had already said exactly what he thought, but that didn't mean Sam wasn't going to keep some eye on him. If Michael spent every ounce of his energy taking care of his mate and the rest of Heaven, who took care of Michael?

"Unless there was anything else you wanted to talk about," Sam began, "I think maybe it's about time for me to head back to Gabriel. But I got a little lost walking out here, could you give me some directions?"

Michael waved a hand and all the leftover desserts packed themselves neatly into a very large doggy bag for Sam. "I can fly you back. Unless you would prefer to walk?"

"Sure."

The flight back to the motel was not as disconcerting as the trip to Hell with Samael, but it was not as smooth as flying with either Castiel or Gabriel. Sam attributed that to the obvious delay in the second wing. "Did you suffer an injury to one of your wings?" Sam asked curiously as he opened the motel door.

Michael tilted his head. "Yeah… how did you know?"

Sam shrugged. "I can hear the delay when it moves, I think. I hope it feels better." He watched as the archangel disappeared, and then walked inside. Gabriel was sitting at the table inside, a grocery bag in front of him. "Hey, Gabe."

Gabriel turned to look at him, then stood up. "I'm not sure how you did it, but Mikha and Heylel has spoken that you're going to be apart of our flock regardless of where our relationship goes. Which I think means they're going to disown me if I break your heart. Not that I was planning on doing that, because I love you, Sam. "

Sam put the doggy bag on the table and then embraced Gabriel. "I love you too," he said, planting a kiss on the archangel's cheek. "If you're not too busy, can we sit and talk?"

There was a touch of worry in Gabriel's amber eyes, but he nodded. "Of course."

The hunter sat cross legged on his bed, Gabriel sitting across from him. Sam scratched nervously at his wrist while he tried to figure out how to say exactly what he needed to say. "I asked Michael about the mate-bond because you and Cas have talked about it a little, but not in great detail and I had wanted to get some clarification in case I was misunderstanding."

"Understandable," Gabriel agreed. "Did it help?"

"I don't know," Sam sighed. "When you were talking about how Raphael was almost scandalized by Michael and Heylel consummating their mate bond, I was under the impression that that meant that they were both virgins before that."

"They may have been, but I don't think that matters a lot because I think the mate bond is more dependent on trust and honesty between all the consenting adults involved."

Sam winced. "I'm not a virgin, you know that, right? And the last person I had sex with was Ruby, a demon , and in retrospect it was gross and disgusting and thinking about it makes my skin crawl, but I did ."

"Oh, Sam ," Gabriel whispered, understanding dawning on his face. "I thank you for your honesty, but you have nothing to feel ashamed about. The demon blood was not your fault. Ruby was a manipulation and temptation that you did not deserve and it changes nothing between us." He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Sam's torso and kissing his temples. "I love you and accept you for who you are, Sam, and I will spend the rest of our lives telling you that, even if you won't believe me."

Sam leaned into Gabriel's embrace. Maybe this was what the road to forgiveness felt like. Maybe if Gabriel still loved him despite it, he could love himself despite his flaws. Maybe… maybe this hadn't been so terrible a birthday after all.