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Another chapter a little sooner than normal thanks to the Bank Holidays.

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Chapter 8

"So. When we were in the Slytherin common room, we used to play this game called Never Have I Ever. Apparently it was a muggle game originally but we made it better. We enhanced it with a few truth spells and jinxes for anyone who tried to lie. Muggles had no way of knowing if someone was lying."

Draco Malfoy was practically beaming with pride and satisfaction, having told his father and Severus only a few hours earlier that Astoria was three months pregnant with her second child. He had his left arm around her shoulders and she was snuggling into his chest, an equal look of contentment on her face with her hand resting gently on her minuscule baby bump.

Severus was happy for them both. As was Lucius based on the smile on his lips as well as he looked at his son and daughter-in-law. It had been six generations since a Malfoy heir had produced more than one child, and Severus hoped to everything that nothing went wrong for them. Having just got Astoria back from the brink of death, he didn't want anything else to happen to the family.

Draco Malfoy was also clearly very drunk.

Severus and Lucius had both had a few glasses of the finest firewhisky after the initial bottle of expensive elf-made French Champagne they'd toasted the news with, but Draco had lapped them a few times over and was becoming annoying.

"Father, you can start." Lucius simply raised an eyebrow at his son, but remained silent. "Fine. Be a grouch. Severus?"

Severus rolled his eyes but decided to play along. As Head of Slytherin he'd been aware of a lot of the games played in the common room, this being one of them. This could get interesting, after all.

"Fine. Never have I ever become pregnant."

Astoria gave him a sweet smile and drank from her glass of pumpkin juice, having the advantage that she wasn't drinking any alcohol due to her pregnancy.

"Astoria, you're up next," Draco said giddily.

She thought for a moment, her eyes flicking momentarily to Lucius with a wicked smile on her lips.

"Never have I ever slept with a Hogwarts Professor."

Clearly the girl knew something, and Severus was very impressed with her deviousness. Severus knew for a fact that he had never slept with a Hogwarts Professor. Just the thought of having sex with any of his former colleagues was enough to make him want to avada himself on the spot. And clearly Astoria never had. Which meant that she had some information on one of the Malfoys, and based on the expression on her husband's face, it was Lucius.

The man in question narrowed his eyes at Astoria, but drank his drink in silence.

"What? When?" Draco was clearly outraged as he shouted at his father. "You were engaged to Mother when you were seventeen, and promised to her for many years before that."

Draco was becoming quite irate in his drunken state, and Astoria placed a calming hand on his arm.

"Draco, do calm down," Lucius said with a sneer.

"But Father!"

"I did not cheat on your mother. It offends me greatly that you would even suggest such a thing."

Draco did look a little ashamed of his outburst for a moment, but his expression soon changed back to curiosity.

"Who then? Is it someone we know?"

Severus was also studying Lucius, who very much had a smug smile on his lips.

"Yes."

"Who?"

Lucius ignored his son and moved his attention onto Astoria. "I'd like to know how you know."

"I'm sure you would. But let's make sure we're talking about the same person first."

Lucius huffed a laugh. "I can assure you there has been only one. I think I'd rather sleep with Severus than almost any other Hogwarts Professor."

Severus curled his lip at his old friend. "You're not my type. But I did hear that Delores Umbridge had taken quite the liking to you."

All four of them shivered at that particular thought.

"Are you going to say who it was?" Draco asked impatiently.

"Is."

"What?"

"You mean 'who it is.'"

Severus turned his attention back to Lucius. "You sly old snake. What are you up to? Or should I say who?"

Lucius definitely had the look of the kneazle who had the cream. "Anya Ollivander."

"The Head of Slytherin House? My son's potions teacher?"

"That's the one."

"She's ten years younger than I am!" Draco's voice had increased in volume again.

"Your point?"

"Father … that's … that's…" Draco was at a loss for words and ran his hadn't through his hair, pulling it messily out of the tie at the back. "That's almost impressive. She's very attractive."

Draco received a light hearted elbow from his wife, who he leaned down to kiss more passionately then was called for.

Severus raised an eyebrow at his old friend. He hadn't met the witch, but had heard good things about her. In particular that she was an excellent potioneer and absolute advocate for the Slytherin House, steadfastly defending her snakes where necessary.

"How long's that been going on?" All other parties in the room were also listening in.

"A year or so. I don't get to see her as often as I'd like, and family matters have been more important of late." Lucius glanced at Astoria. "But I had planned on telling you anyway, Draco, as I have invited her here for some of the Yule celebration."

"Wow, it is serious." Draco's pronouncement echoed Severus' sentiments. "But after that bombshell, I think we should continue with our game. I haven't had a go yet."

Severus didn't like the look on Draco's face.

"Never have I ever slept with the Minister for Magic."

The room went silent other than the crackling of the fire, with all eyes on him. Severus felt his fingers twitching towards his wand to curse the boy.

After their brief dalliance back in the summer, he'd not seen the Minister in question, and nor had he talked about her. And he certainly wasn't going to talk to Draco about her. He just wished he'd not thought about her as much as he had.

He did, however, down his drink and steadfastly walked out of the room. He heard Lucius tell Draco off for not having any manners or class, and guessed that he was following him. Severus strode out of the Manor and apparated away to his cottage, Lucius arriving around five seconds later. He silently led him into the library and poured the two of them a large drink.

Lucius spoke after a few minutes. "You haven't said what happened between the two of you."

"You know what happened. It was just sex."

Lucius gave him a look suggesting he didn't believe that, but remained silent.

"I shouldn't have slept with her. It was unfair to her. Believe it or not, I was actually enjoying her company. Who'd have thought? Sleeping with her only ruined things, particularly as I wasn't particularly pleasant to her the next morning." Severus sighed deeply. "I've been avoiding things I need to do. People I need to speak to. People I need to speak about."

"Potter?" Lucius guessed correctly.

"Amongst others. You told Miss Granger that I needed to catch up with the timeline, and you were right. I have needed some space to think, but now I need to act."

"So do it."

Severus downed his drink. "I suppose I should. At least if I get it over and done with I can move onto the next chapter, whatever the fuck that is."

"Where's first?"

"I'm thinking Hogwarts. He might only be a painting, but I need to have a few choice words with the esteemed former Headmaster."

.

On this trip to Hogwarts he was at least expected and wasn't greeted by an angry Minerva McGonagall brandishing her wand. He'd owled her the same evening he'd spoken to Lucius, and she'd invited him to the castle a few evenings later. He'd forgotten how cold the grounds of Hogwarts could get, and pulled his robes closely around him as he headed up towards the castle.

On entering, he made his way up the huge central staircase, relieved that most of the students were in their dorm rooms rather than running around the freezing cold castle.

"Professor Snape?" A voice called out from behind him, and he turned to see a slim and attractive brunette of around thirty approaching him. "Lucius said you'd be here tonight."

So this was Anya Ollivander.

"Please, it's Severus. And it's nice to meet you." He held out his gloved hand to her and they shook hands.

"And you. You're something of a Slytherin legend." Severus wondered if Lucius had put her up to saying that. "I know a lot of the students would like to meet you if you ever felt like it."

Severus wasn't sure that was a good idea. He was sure there was at least one child in that House who viewed him as a traitor thanks to their parents opinions from the war.

"You know, you seem far too good for Lucius."

She smiled. "Oh, I know. It keeps him on his toes." She clearly had the measure of Malfoy. "I understand I'll see you at the Manor for Yule? It will be good to have a potions discussion with someone who's not just thinking about how much money it could make him."

He had to smile at that. "I'll look forward to it."

With that he headed in the direction of the Headmistress' office and spoke the password to the gargoyle to allow him entry.

"Severus, it's good to see you. You look better than you did the last time I saw you."

"Well, I had just been bitten by a giant snake, lost most of the blood from my body at that point, and had inadvertently jumped forward by twenty-one years, so you'll just have to forgive me."

"I can. Tea or something stronger. I have a bottle of that Glenisla Whisky you always liked." He accepted a glass that wasn't as generous a measure as he'd have liked and sat down in the comfortable chair opposite her desk. It was peculiar being in this room again, but he was relieved that he was no longer Headmaster. That had, without doubt, been one of the worst eight months of his life.

He'd always got on well with Minerva McGonagall. As long as Dumbledore wasn't around, anyway. They'd had a friendly rivalry between their two houses, but even she used to get tired with Albus' blatant favouritism towards Gryffindor and never begrudged him adding a few extra points to his own house. The truth was that prior to the point he had to kill Albus Dumbledore on the Headmaster's own orders, she'd been something of a mother figure to him. She'd always known and believed him to be on their side.

But that had all changed thanks to Dumbledore's clandestineness. Severus had been held under a wizard's oath that he would not tell another soul of the Headmaster's condition, or the information that he had told him regarding the Horcruxes. Severus had practically begged him to let Minerva know, or at the very least leave her something explaining the truth when he passed away. The old coot had said that he would consider that, but never did. His year as Headmaster would have been a lot easier if she'd known of his true loyalties.

He looked up to the frame behind Minerva's desk to find it empty. "You told him I was coming?"

"Yes. But he will be here. I have threatened to relocate his portrait to the attic with the portraits that have gone insane if he doesn't arrive in," she paused to check the time, "fourteen minutes."

"So much for that Gryffindor bravery."

Minerva smiled tightly. "I'm not sure how much he ever had of that. Not wanting to disparage your own house, but that wizard was decidedly Slytherin at times."

"I resent that greatly," he responded.

They were both silent for a moment before Minerva spoke again. "I was surprised to hear from you, Severus. You didn't leave the castle on good terms."

"The situation was hard to deal with. I assumed I wanted to stay here, but on leaving the infirmary Hogwarts was the last place I wanted to be. That Lucius arrived at the right time was as good a reason as any to leave. And Lucius also provided a distraction."

"I heard that you cured Astoria Malfoy."

That news hadn't been made public knowledge, but he wasn't particularly surprised that she knew.

They talked amicably for around ten minutes longer before Albus Dumbledore reappeared in his frame, looking more than a little sheepish.

"Severus, my boy, it's good to see you." His former master had a smile on his face, but was missing the twinkle in his eyes that would have suggested it was genuine.

Severus glared up at the portrait, and the painting did at least look a little chastised. "You need to listen to me, Old Man, and hear what I have to say to you. You were no better at all than the Dark Lord. You were scheming to your own end, and you were more than willing to let anyone else be killed in the process. You manipulated me and everyone else the whole time to get what you wanted the way you wanted it."

Severus got up and started pacing the office, Minerva remaining quiet while he ranted. He didn't doubt that she'd likely told him the same thing, but Severus felt that he deserved this.

"I'm not denying that you were the lesser of the two evils, but you were one of them. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be your spy. You manipulated my guilt over Lily the whole time. You needed me, so you made damn well sure that I had to stay here and do your bidding."

Severus paused for breath a moment and looked up at the portrait of himself that had still not been removed, despite his status as a living wizard.

"Severus…"

"No. You do not get to speak." Severus huffed a laugh to himself. "And worst of it all, you were willing to let Lily's son sacrifice himself at the end. You raised him for the slaughter. I can not and will not ever forgive you. If Potter gives you the time of day he's a bigger fool than I ever thought he was. Your treatment of him was abominable."

Severus drained the remainder of his drink. "I'm sorry Minerva, I'm done here. We'll have to catch up further another time."

With that he stormed out of the office and out of the castle. He decided walking to Hogsmeade was a better plan than apparating straight away as he was far too angry, and didn't want to splinch himself. On arrival to the wizarding village he headed into The Hog's Head for another drink, resolutely ignoring the stares he was getting from the few patrons that had ventured out into the cold, and sat alone in a dark corner to stew.

He'd finally had the chance after many years to give Albus Dumbledore a piece of his mind, but it didn't feel as good as he'd hoped. He knew that he'd made a multitude of mistakes along the way, starting with joining the Death Eaters in the first place, but he also had always felt that he had no other path. The 'what ifs' were practically endless, and living in the past was nothing but a maudlin activity.

When it looked like one of the other patrons of the pub had gathered enough courage to come up to him, Severus decided that it was time to leave. He still wasn't sure that he wanted to head back to the cottage which had quickly become home, but what led him to apparate to Godric's Hollow he didn't know. It was a place he'd not been for seventeen years on his timeline, and if you counted the twenty-one year's he'd missed, then it was thirty-eight years.

The village in Devon was less bitterly cold than Scotland, but a light sleety drizzle was falling making it feel damp and cold. He disillusioned himself incase any one was wandering around, and walked slowly towards the small graveyard in the grounds of the church that he knew Lily and James Potter were buried.

It took only a few minutes to find the graves, and he was pleased to note that the graves were well cared for. He studied James Potter's gravestone for a moment, not quite sure what he was meant to think about the grave of his old childhood bully, before kneeling down in front of Lily's, placing a gloved hand on the ground.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sorry for everything. I was a lousy friend to you, and in the end I got you killed. I shouldn't have been so jealous, so resentful or vindictive."

Severus swallowed thickly, determined to not allow any tears to fall.

I'm sorry for what I said to you, and I'm sorry that I couldn't protect your son in the way I should have."

He was silent for a few moments it quiet contemplation before he felt the presence of another witch or wizard just outside of the churchyard. He stood quickly, remaining disillusioned and palmed his wand.

"Who's there?" A voice called out.

The voice that spoke he knew too well to be that of Harry Potter, and therefore was probably the last wizard he wanted to run into. He looked over to the entrance of the graveyard to confirm his suspicions.

Severus removed the disillusionment charm, but kept his wand raised. When Potter saw who it was, he lowered his wand in a disgusting display of trusting.

"Professor," he greeted Severus, walking slowly towards him.

"I'm not your Professor anymore," Severus noted.

"Calling you Severus or Mr Snape both seem wrong."

"Then stick to Snape. I know that's what you called me when you were at Hogwarts."

Potter nodded to him. "Snape it is. Can I ask what you're doing here?"

"No."

"Professor … Snape … We have a shared history…"

Potter paused, clearly not knowing how to continue. Severus wasn't sure either, but Potter was another one on his list of those he needed to speak to, so he might as well get it over and done with.

"If you have the time, there are some things I would like to say to you."

Potter nodded and led him through the village. They both walked in silence, and when clearly nearly at his home, Potter whispered it's location to him. Once the fidelius charm allowed Potter's home to be seen, Severus noted that it was a large yet quaint cottage set in a spacious plot of land filled with flowers, shrubs and herbs.

"Drink?" Potter asked as soon as they were inside.

Potter offered him the standard fare, and he accepted a glass of wine from his former student.

"Harry? Are you back? All okay?"

Ginny Weasley stuck her head into the sitting room where the two of them were sat, and gasped at seeing him sitting there.

"Miss Weasley," Severus greeted.

"It's Mrs Potter now."

"My commiserations," Severus said, but softened his words with a slight smile.

"I know, right?" She commented with a grin. "I couldn't have married any worse."

Potter went over to his wife and they had a silent conversation obscured by a non-verbal muffliato, before Miss Weasley bid them both good night and left the room.

"How did you know I was there?" Severus asked him after she'd left and Potter had sat down on the other sofa in the comfortable living room.

"I have wards throughout the whole village. Call it paranoia if you will, but I have set charms to detect the presence of any witch or wizard that does not normally frequent the village." He paused for a moment, mussing up his perpetually messy hair. "Can I ask what drew you here?"

Severus paused for a few moments before answered.

"I have spent a lot of time thinking over the last few months. It got to a stage where I realised thinking was not enough. I needed to speak to some of those involved. I spent the earlier part of the evening having words with Dumbledore's painting."

"I bet that was fun for you."

"I said what I needed to, but I don't think it's the same since he's dead and that's only a painting."

Potter looked contemplative. "I don't see much of him. There is a painting of him in the Ministry, but he tends to avoid me."

"He did worse by you then he did me."

Potter shrugged. "I'm not sure I would agree with that."

"You should. He sacrificed you to his cause."

"And yet I lived. As did you."

"He certainly didn't intend for either of us to live."

"You can't know that," Potter argued. "I believe he would not have wanted either one of us to die."

"Then you did not know him as you thought you did. He didn't believe that either one of us would survive." Severus was resolute in that, and Potter didn't argue, although he could tell that he didn't believe him.

There were a few more moments of silence before Potter spoke again. "I should apologise to you. I never believed that you were on our side."

"You weren't meant to."

"Maybe, but Hermione always believed you."

"Always?"

"Maybe not after the end of sixth year." Potter left that hanging in the air. "I didn't know anything of your history with my mum." Potter's voice was tentative as on the previous occasion Potter had tried to raise this point, Severus had shut him down.

"Why would you? You didn't get to know her, and I know Petunia, Black or Lupin would never have told you."

"You really loved her?"

Severus stared into the lit fire for a moment contemplating how to answer that question. He was tempted to lie, to say that he didn't love her. Or in fact, to say that he did. Both answers would have been incorrect.

He took a deep swallow from his drink, but continued to stare into the fire.

"Lily Evans was my first, and closest friend when I was a child. We had the shared history of both being magical surrounded by muggles. My own family life wasn't great, so I relished the time I got to spend with her. I knew that she wouldn't be in Slytherin when we were sorted, she was a muggleborn, after all. But that didn't stop me from hoping that she would be. I knew that I would be in no other house, despite my half-blood status."

Severus paused to take a sip of wine. He could practically feel Potter's eyes on him.

"We were friends for the first five years or so at Hogwarts, despite the opinion of your father and his gang, and not to mention that of my fellow Slytherins. You know what happened after that," Severus commented snidely.

"As for love?" Severus asked himself rather than Potter. "I did love her, but maybe not in the way you think I did. I think that I loved her for the fact that she paid any attention to me. She was my closest friend, and, initially at least, she saw past our house rivalries and the fact I wasn't as popular or as liked as she was."

"She refused to accept your apology," Potter stated, looking contemplative. "You know, Ron was a right shit to Hermione at times when at school."

"I remember," Severus noted. The exploits of the students were always good gossip fodder in the staffroom, and the exploits of those three in particular could have kept the staff in gossip for their full tenure at the school.

"She always forgave him eventually."

Severus remembered that as well.

"But my mum didn't forgive you, did she?" He continued, not giving Severus the chance to answer. "She used it as an excuse to drop you as a friend?" Potter frowned at him, clearly thinking about this for the first time.

"She was a sixteen year old girl who was falling in love with your father, someone who hated me. She also didn't approve of my friends, and I could hardly blame her there."

Potter gave him an odd look. "If she hadn't have stopped being friends with you, do you think things would have been different? Would you become a Death Eater? Would my parents have died? Would Voldemort have died the first time? I wouldn't have become a Horcrux. What if —"

Severus cut him off from going down that route any further. "Potter, if your auntie had balls, she'd be your uncle."

"Now there's a horrific thought," Potter said with a grimace. Severus didn't particularly like that thought either.

"What if scenarios are irrelevant, Potter. Nothing can change what happened. There are many things I regret, and getting your mother killed is most certainly the biggest."

"You didn't kill her though. That was Voldemort. When you realised what you'd done, you did what you could to rectify it. You spent the next sixteen or so years making up for that mistake." Potter scooted to the edge of his seat and waited for Severus to look at him. "I don't blame you for her death."

Severus couldn't help but feel a little of the pain lift off him on Potter's statement, but didn't know what else to say.

"Thank you, Potter," was what he went with.

"I do have one last question though," Potter added. "The memories…," he paused for a moment. "In those you told Dumbledore that you always loved her. You had a doe patronus …"

Severus swallowed thickly, feeling a little embarrassed.

"What I felt for Lily Evans wasn't love in the romantic sense of the word, it was obsession. She'd become my reason for everything I did, even more so after she died. Your parents had complimentary patronuses because they were in love. And even that is not particularly common. For someone to copy a patronus … it's not healthy, and it's always one-sided."

"What is your patronus now?"

"I have no idea. I haven't tried."

Potter gave him a smirk. "I bet it's a bat."

Severus wandlessly sent a stinging hex his way which Potter successfully defended himself against.

"I think I'd take that over a doe."

Severus decided he needed to take his leave, and bid adieu to Potter and walked out into the still sleeting evening.

He genuinely felt like a massive weight had been lifted off him. He felt that he could actually continue his life and move forward.

He didn't think he'd ever be friends with Potter, but he was grateful to him, and the boy had shown that he'd matured beyond his years. Certainly beyond that of his father and godfather.

Who'd have thought it. The Boy Who Lived had grown up.

…

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